Jihad To Be You
A friend and I got sucked into the recent saga between author Salman Rushdie and his ex-girlfriend. She told a British paper he dumped her by e-mail and is still seriously hung up on his ex-wife. He retaliated by telling the New York Post the ex-girlfriend's "broke, unemployed," "an accomplished liar," and always carrying around "a large, radioactive bucket of stress." We're debating what to do when an ex, famous or not, publicly dumps on you. Your thoughts?
--Two Curious
Rushdie, who still has a fatwa on him for insulting Islam with "The Satanic Verses," has now made such a public jackass of himself that he's probably sending the jihadists MapQuest directions to his apartment. Of course, his first offense was dumping his girlfriend by e-mail. Not only is that rude, but any man with three morsels of sense knows better than to do it to a woman he believes is carrying around "a large, radioactive bucket of stress." When publicly attacked, the temptation is to leap up and offer corrections and finish with a little turn of the knife. It's a temptation to be avoided. Famous or not, the high road is always the wisest direction: "I'm sorry she feels that way. It just didn't work out between us, and I wish her the best." (Translation: "Hey, crazy women are good in bed. Guess I succumbed. Won't happen again.")
I thought that Nicole Kidman handled the divorce from Tom Cruise really well. She never came out and talked about what happened. Thus respecting both herself and her ex. When publicly dumped, I feel that is the best way to handle things.
MizB at December 1, 2009 9:23 PM
I always thought Tom Cruise feels threatened by any woman prettier than he is.
Patrick at December 2, 2009 2:19 AM
Gotta agree with MizB. Sometimes it pays to remember that silence is the unbearable repartee.
old rpm daddy at December 2, 2009 5:17 AM
Yup - when you ex wants a catfight - don't dignify it. Keep your dignity and let the ex look like a cat's cradle in public.
AntoniaB at December 2, 2009 5:22 AM
Is it true that crazy women are good in bed? That has actually been my experience, but I'd never heard it stated as a generalization. Or is it just a "relationship myth?"
James at December 2, 2009 6:18 AM
I like that. "Crazy women are good in bed. I guess I succumbed."
Bill McNutt at December 2, 2009 6:47 AM
I like that. "Crazy women are good in bed. I guess I succumbed."
I asked my fiance about this once, and he said it's not true. Crazy women seem like they would be good in bed, but they often have weird sexual issues that make them not good in bed. Go figure.
MonicaP at December 2, 2009 8:22 AM
@MonicaP: "I asked my fiance about this once, and he said it's not true."
Your husband seems pretty brave. I'm pretty sure most husbands would say, "Well, honey, I wouldn't know."
old rpm daddy at December 2, 2009 8:38 AM
He is indeed a brave man. Fortunately, we're both OK with the fact that we had sexual experiences before we met each other. And he's honest even when it's not good for him, so I don't ask him questions unless I want an honest answer.
MonicaP at December 2, 2009 9:02 AM
MonicaP: you found yourself a prince of a man! That's when you know you can trust someone because you know they'll tell the truth even if it's not easy.
My ex-husband told the truth only when denying it was no longer an option due to physical proof that I could present in his face! He once tried to deny an email he'd sent (he deleted it once I confronted him), but since I'd saved it elsewhere he had to fess up. Then he wanted kudos for being honest.
Small wonder he's an ex :)
kjm at December 2, 2009 9:44 AM
James and MonicaP - it all depends on the type of crazy. Freaky, intense, self harm types no - as you say MonicaP, they often have weird sexual issues. Anxious, emotional, shy types yes - once you get past the barriers it's on for young and old. Then again you pay for it in tears down the track.
Not that I seek it out, but for some reason I seem to attract (and be attracted to) women with baggage. Some sort of protective/rescue instinct I guess.
Ltw at December 2, 2009 10:19 AM
Translation: "Hey, crazy women are good in bed. Guess I succumbed. Won't happen again."
I would tend to translate it as "Hey, crazy women are good in bed. Next!"
Ltw at December 2, 2009 10:21 AM
I agree about Rushdie's unseemly behaviour, but I gotta feel a little sorry for the guy. He's fallen into the trap (probably led on by praise for writing abilities) of falling for women who are, frankly, out of his league. Look at Padma. Look at Salman. No amount of literary talent can bridge that gap.
Robin at December 2, 2009 10:25 AM
I started questioning my respect for Salman when he did a cameo in 'Bridget Jones Diary'...
Flynne at December 2, 2009 10:36 AM
MonicaP I have to say you're braver than I am because I would have feared my SO would answer with something along the lines of "yeah, crazy women are great in bed honey, remember how good it was for me last night?"
MizB at December 2, 2009 10:42 AM
Crazy like a fox, MizB, crazy like a fox.
MonicaP at December 2, 2009 11:08 AM
I'm with you MonicaP. One of the things I love about my fella is that he's kindly honest ... when it's difficult, when it could blow up in his face.
I don't always like what I hear ... but if it's there, I'd rather know. We've only been dating seven months but his honesty over some difficult things has given me a great level of trust in him. That's gold!
AntoniaB at December 2, 2009 11:15 AM
"Crazy women seem like they would be good in bed, but they often have weird sexual issues that make them not good in bed."
And sometimes they're not "crazy"... they have other issues you'd best find first.
Radwaste at December 2, 2009 5:31 PM
"Is it true that crazy women are good in bed? That has actually been my experience, but I'd never heard it stated as a generalization. Or is it just a "relationship myth?""
That has definitely been my experience.
Lobster at December 3, 2009 2:47 PM
"That has definitely been my experience."
I mean it's been my experience that crazy women are good (awesome) in bed, not that it's a myth (my comment was ambiguous).
Lobster at December 3, 2009 3:28 PM
"No amount of literary talent can bridge that gap."
Noted, but money can - maybe he's rich?
Lobster at December 3, 2009 3:31 PM
"Is it true that crazy women are good in bed?"
Yes.
Damn it.
snakeman99 at December 7, 2009 3:09 PM
Why is it that crazy women are good in bed, but crazy men are just crazy? Probably because most women have more sense then to jump into bed with a crazy man but men have no filter vice versa? :)
TallDarkNGruesome at December 9, 2009 10:49 AM
Re the Nicole Kidman comment earlier - maybe Ms Kidman thought she had better bite her tongue since she was shagging Tom Cruise when he was still married to Mimi Rogers, so whinging when he did the same thing to her would look a little pitiful. Still, he did her career a lot of good, and that's the main thing.
Oh gosh, sorry, I forgot, Tom and Nicole were just friends when they acted in Days of Thunder - the same year he divorced his wife....
When publicly dumped, perhaps she stayed quiet because she had learned a little grace from his first wife.
Alison D at December 12, 2009 6:50 AM
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