Boeing, Boeing, Gone
A man sitting next to me on a long flight really opened up to me, and I ended up sharing stuff I never tell anyone. He asked for my number, but I never heard from him. How does someone connect with you so amazingly, then walk away from you like you're any other stranger on the plane?
--Seat 13D
Welcome to the One-Flight Stand: Two total strangers, thrown together by airline seat assignment algorithms, sharing their deepest secrets over those little bags of pretzels and blankets that haven't been washed since the Wright brothers took off. With somebody you'll never see again, you can feel safe revealing stuff you'd only tell your closest confidant. And then, because you've treated them like a close confidant, they can start to feel like one. (Never mind that you can't remember if it's "Brad" or "Bruce.")
Some seatmates continue their relationship down the jetway, but most have broken up by the time they hit the terminal. As they're getting off the plane, there's that blast of outdoor air -- real life hitting them, along with the realization that there's no graceful way to fit 13D into theirs. Or, maybe they realize they got drunk on anonymity, and feel dirty for exposing way too much of themselves to a stranger. If you can't stand the post-flight chill, wear protection: an eye mask or iPod headphones. If you're willing to risk it, there's always that possibility you'll continue on with some seatmate, maybe even to the point where you find yourself joining him in the TSA line; joining, as in, "You may now cavity-search the bride."
Our hero in Fight Club referred to this as "Single-serving friends"
Vinnie Bartilucci at April 20, 2010 6:27 PM
Ya know, how does she know she hasn't dodged a bullet? The LW sounds a little desperate. Or at least confused! "Single-serving friends" are not the stuff relationships are made of.
Flynne at April 21, 2010 5:26 AM
I met my girlfriend on the plane, our parents live near each other in Florida, and we live only 2 miles from each other in Chicago, and we had a lot more in common. We weren't even supposed to sit by each other, I switched with a guy who wanted to sit by his kids.
That was 4 months ago, things are still great.
So it can happen, but I didn't just ask for her number we made specific plans for the coming week.
The funny thing is I never talk to strangers on planes or anywhere.
plutosdad at April 21, 2010 6:14 AM
"The LW sounds a little desperate."
Actually, she just sounds very young. Let the learning begin . . . .
railmeat at April 21, 2010 9:56 AM
I agree with you, Amy, that what happens in a plane generally stays in the plane but sometimes there are pleasant exceptions. Once I was flying from Chicago to Portland and sat beside a vivacious young woman. Her husband wasn't able to pick her up that day so I drove her home from the airport. We have since become really good friends and I've become a favourite uncle of their two young sons.
Robert W. at April 21, 2010 2:36 PM
I met a guy on a plane, got a little tipsy, and ended up with anal warts by the time we hit the tarmac.
Ladies, keep your legs crossed until you walk down the aisle! And I mean the chapel, not the airplane! This could happen to you!
BTW, I never saw the guys again.
Ms. Circumspect at April 21, 2010 4:51 PM
The fact that you guys would never see each other again is the whole reason why he opened up to you in the first place! There's an distinct appeal to confiding in someone that you know you'll never see in real life; it's happened to me a lot in situations like working at summer camps, going on volunteer trips, etc. It's kind of nice-people don't talk to strangers enough; everyone's on their cell phones, etc
Shannon at April 21, 2010 7:26 PM
There is a reason, Ms. Circumspect, that people shouldn't have sex on their first date, and anal warts would be one of them. Unfortunately, for you, this wasn't even a date.
Not being a member of the "mile high club", i wouldn't know how exhilliarating sex can be in a stuffy, tiny airline washroom, but i'm sure that you not only spread your legs, but also spread the word around the entire plane that you and he were the rude, ignorant couple doing the vertical mumbo-jumbo whilst the lineup of people with full bladders stood waiting.
There is a psychological term for when total strangers open up to each other and tell their deepest, darkest secrets. We all know that we can walk away with impunity, never again to see our confessor, and it just feels so good to confess all our sins! For some, though, they want to hang on, want to make more of it than there really is, get attached instantaneously, or, like Ms. Circumspect, actually drop their pants and fuck the person, knowing there's practically no chance of a 2nd chance.
If Ms. Circumspect thought about it for more than a nanosecond, the brain would have clicked into gear and she would have realized - before engaging with Mr. Anal Warts in the airplane washroom - that if he is suggesting sex to her (a total stranger) then he has probably suggested sex to (and gotten it from) a kajillion others... which is why she now has an STD. On his next flight out, he will be doing the vertical mumbo-jumbo with the next ditz in 13D.
Bluejean Baby at April 21, 2010 8:15 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2010/04/boeing-boeing-g.html#comment-1709889">comment from Bluejean BabyUm, Ms. Circumspect is, of course, Mr. BOTU (aka Butthole of the Universe).
Amy Alkon at April 21, 2010 8:22 PM
Ms. Circumspect is, of course, Mr. BOTU (aka Butthole of the Universe).
But Amy, I'm not sure how you figured that out. I mean, he took such pains to disguise himself!
How does someone connect with you so amazingly, then walk away from you like you're any other stranger on the plane?
Um, because you were any other stranger on the plane. You just happened to be sitting next to him. I'm not saying it's stupid to expect him to call (he did ask for your number), but being all heartbroken about it isn't smart. Connecting with someone on a plane tends to carry with it a fantasy of fate. Of all the people on the plane that could have been sitting next to you, it turned out to be your soulmate! But that doesn't usually turn out to be true. It's easy to be excited while you're on the plane, but real life is vastly different. What did you expect to happen, anyway? Did this guy live in the same city as you or was it going to be a long-distance thing? The practicalities of further connecting with someone are harder to deal with than the initial meeting. Instead of worrying over what went wrong (as you have zero control over that), choose to remember the great time you had on the flight and leave yourself with a nice memory, as well as the always popular "what could have been..." in your fantasy file.
NumberSix at April 21, 2010 8:49 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2010/04/boeing-boeing-g.html#comment-1709893">comment from NumberSixBelieve me, I didn't even have to look at the IP.
Amy Alkon at April 21, 2010 8:50 PM
As if any of us needed confermation.
Still, given the hole's anal fixation, I wonder if he didnt acctually get anal warts from some random bathroom hook up, om a plane or otherwise
lujlp at April 22, 2010 1:28 AM
Maybe BOTU ought to run for Congress. He'd fit in nicely.
old rpm daddy at April 22, 2010 11:50 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2010/04/boeing-boeing-g.html#comment-1709998">comment from old rpm daddyYou just gave me a thought for a new name for many representatives -- Congressrectums -- appropriate to the way they represent the interests of the people.
Amy Alkon at April 22, 2010 11:58 AM
Said NumberSix: "Instead of worrying over what went wrong ... choose to remember the great time you had on the flight and leave yourself with a nice memory, as well as the always popular 'what could have been...' in your fantasy file."
I like that, NumberSix. The "what could have been" fantasy is the best part. If you had actually figured out some way to continue the relationship, "what could have been" might have turned out as "what a horrible mistake I've made." It makes me think of the morning I spent with a pleasant gal on an Indianapolis-bound Greyhound twenty-odd years ago. She was nice company, and when we arrived in Indy, graciously offered to share a doobie with me in back of the bus station. I politely declined, and caught my connecting bus to Ohio. Ah, the memories...
old rpm daddy at April 22, 2010 12:00 PM
Said Ms. Alkon: "You just gave me a thought for a new name for many representatives -- Congressrectums..."
Actually, that solves a lot more issues than you might think. It's non-gender specific, and far more euphonious than "Congressman," "Congresswoman," or (double yuck) "Congressperson." Your term actually exhibits a little Assonance.
So tell me, is the leader of the majority party the Sphincter of the House?
Sorry, you can slap me now...
old rpm daddy at April 22, 2010 12:08 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2010/04/boeing-boeing-g.html#comment-1710002">comment from old rpm daddyBad, but I started it. You can't exactly complain that you got shot when you're the one who started the gunfight.
Amy Alkon at April 22, 2010 12:38 PM
"Not being a member of the "mile high club", i wouldn't know how exhilliarating sex can be in a stuffy, tiny airline washroom, but i'm sure that you not only spread your legs, but also spread the word around the entire plane that you and he were the rude, ignorant couple doing the vertical mumbo-jumbo whilst the lineup of people with full bladders stood waiting.|"
That is not how I remember it. We were very discreet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdrZgUg3PN8
Emmanuelle at April 22, 2010 7:03 PM
If you had actually figured out some way to continue the relationship, "what could have been" might have turned out as "what a horrible mistake I've made."
Right. I'm a big proponent of facing reality and not living in DelusionLand, but I don't see any harm in giving yourself a warm-and-fuzzy over the most flattering version of events in this type of situation. Especially considering it's unlikely you'll see the person ever again. It's a free little ego boost and when you're feeling a bit down on yourself, you can think about the guy on the plane that was totally into you but unfortunately had to jet off to Abu Dhabi or somewhere.
NumberSix at April 22, 2010 8:55 PM
Well, "Emmanuelle", i clicked on the link, watched the little clip you provided... laughing all the way. What crap that is. First of all, i've never travelled First Class, so the seats i've been in for every flight i've taken (and i've travelled around the world) were hip to shoulder, packed in like sardines. Sorry to say, we can't all afford First Class.
Secondly, that clip is about as discreet as a wart on a lip. Sorry, not the least bit discreet. In fact, when he got up and came at her, i wondered how the other passengers must've averted their eyes to avoid the obvious.
Get over it... it's obviously staged, and anyone who would try it would be cuffed on touchdown and hauled off by the police. Now i suppose you will make a nuance about my "cuffed" comment. LOL
Bluejean Baby at April 23, 2010 7:43 PM
"Fantasy file" -- I like that. It's a lot more elegant than the term I have for it: "spank bank"
JonQPublic at April 24, 2010 4:25 AM
Hmm. And yet I always seem to end up next to the Sniffly Teen-Age Girl With Headphones (cue sound effect: drinking canned mushroom soup through a straw), or the Young Mother Who Took A Pill And Is Only Dimly Aware Of Her Rampaging Toddler, or the Really Fat Guy Who Puts The Seat Arm Up So He Can Occupy Some Of My Seat Too.
Soulmate? Hell, I'm thrilled just to get someone who's normal-sized and reasonably quiet.
Steve H at April 25, 2010 1:17 PM
Leave a comment