Be Stale My Heart
What does a man mean when, after sex, he says, "You complete me"? I'm a woman just dating again after being married for quite some time, and want to make sure I'm not jumping to conclusions.
--Wondering
There are things a man can do to make himself more articulate, and having sex isn't one of them. Chances are, the guy felt a rush of emotion, reached into the cupboard in his head, and found it bare -- save for a seriously tired line from "Jerry Maguire." Either that, or he was trying to tell you "Having sex with you reminds me of this 1996 Tom Cruise movie." As for whether it's more than just talk, time will tell. For now, perhaps you can find what he said endearing, as many women would. Personally, I find borrowed expressions of appreciation kind of a mood-killer. Then again, at least he didn't roll over and yell, "Show me the money!"
Oh funny. I was waiting for these most of the morning... 12 hours into my Wednesday...
Kendra at August 18, 2010 2:59 AM
Did he add a comma? If he said, "You, complete me," maybe it was an order.
MonicaP at August 18, 2010 6:38 AM
Dear Ms. Alkon,
What does it mean when a woman writes anxious letters to strangers, asking for advice about a man's post-coital mumblings of no real import?
signed, rolling eyes
Spartee at August 18, 2010 7:23 AM
Any man who said that to me, and wasn't doing it to be funny, would be history. It's creepy, tired and hints at a pretty significant lack of intelligence.
Marina at August 18, 2010 9:27 AM
Well at least you know that he likes you. I think that Amy is right. That comment sounds like he wanted to say something nice, but couldn't come upwith anything original.
Horny larry at August 18, 2010 10:05 AM
Regardless of what Cosmo and other magazines say, I think it's pretty risky to try to determine What a Man Means When He Says X. Men, like women, are all different. And as Miss Alkon and some of the comments, this guy might just have been trying, however lamely, to be nice to you.
Don't try to sort out the subtext. By and large, men don't do subtext that much. That strange, pained look on his face after you make love probably has nothing to do with the Future of Your Relationship. He may just have gas, and isn't comfortable breaking wind in front of you. Yet.
And if it's NFL season, he may be in a different orbit altogether (the Redskins aren't going to suck nearly as bad this year as they did last year). See what I mean? We can't help it!
Old RPM Daddy at August 18, 2010 11:42 AM
"You complete me"
He meant: you're the last piece in his personal jigsaw puzzle. you're that 5-across he needed for his crossword. That final stitch in his tapestry.
Um....oh! you're the answer to that one really tough exam problem. The final ingredient in his recipe. You're the words The End. Or the period in his final sentence. Yeah.
Pricklypear at August 18, 2010 1:58 PM
He means "I'd really like to go to sleep now, but I acknowledge that some post-coitus sweetness is expected."
Treadwell at August 19, 2010 12:55 PM
Another weenie missive. This lady doesn't even have a problem. A guy gave her a good screw, and expressed contentment. This is a problem?
Okay, the expression of joy may not have been original (we don't know if he saw a movie that was a hit in perhaps his mom's era). Still, not a bad night's work for a divorcee back in the saddle.
I am pleasantly surprised by Monica P's comment. Very good. However, I assume the obvious signs of euphoric release, including flaccidity, spoke for themselves. It was probably sans comma.
BOTU at August 19, 2010 5:09 PM
"Well at least you know that he likes you"
Unless he meant it humorously (as in mock-parody-of-cliched-drivelly-romance), then on the contrary, I would guess it means that he thinks she is 'stupid but a good lay', and is making a lame and patronising attempt to charm her into bed again, using lines that might work on, say, naive teenage girls. That's really corny. Men don't think in chick-flick cliches, they don't think of women as 'completing' them.
I get an 'amateur charmer' vibe, but it's guesswork at this point, others have pointed out equally plausible possibilities; see him a few more times and you'll figure out his real motives.
Lobster at August 20, 2010 6:43 PM
I get an 'amateur charmer' vibe
hmm, that's possible.
McGruff at August 21, 2010 9:03 AM
using lines that might work on, say, naive teenage girls.
Do those lines actually work? And on teenage girls? Thanks for the tip, Lobster!
And we all anxiously await the next round of columnds, having run out of things to say...
Ltw at August 24, 2010 6:36 AM
Oh come on, give the guy a break. I think it's kinda sweet. Dorky, lame, and goofy, but sweet. I think it was the sudden rush of blood back into the rest of him that kinda made him a special kind of stupid.
It's better with the comma. Or is that coma? Either way works.
angie at August 26, 2010 6:43 PM
I'm FOR SURE yelling SHOW ME THE MONNNNNNNAAAAY!!! The next time I'm about to score with my girlfriend... I don't care if she thinks it's funny or not, I will.
Bob Dobalita at December 9, 2010 9:43 AM
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