Leave Of Absinthe
I drank too much mystery punch at an office party last week and confessed my unrequited crush to a co-worker. He thanked me and said he was "flattered." I was mortified and now feel really uncomfortable at the office. How can I fix this?
--Embarrassed
My boyfriend, whose favorite self-help book is "The Godfather," had this helpful suggestion: "Hire a hit man and have the guy clipped." Unfortunately, this advice violates my rule of not solving people's problems by giving them bigger problems, like a first-degree murder charge. Instead, inject a little perspective. Okay, you spewed at the party, but now, back at the office, your thoughts aren't running across your forehead, CNN news-ticker-style: "I'm in love with you. You're so hot. I love your tie. Marry me."
To make yesterday's drunken blurtation today's "I said no such thing," align how you act with the message you want to send. This starts with realigning your head. Reframe what happened. Tell yourself that it was gutsy to put yourself out there. Next, tell yourself that you accept that he's not interested. Repeat until these notions sink in. If you use these thoughts to avoid acting uncomfortable around him -- no look of sweaty shame, no tight smile at the copier -- he'll have no reason to be uncomfortable around you. It's like giving yourself a reset -- that is, until you drink too much at lunch and he finds your Post-it on his computer: "I still wanna have your babies. Don't forget!"
She's lucky he isn't filing a sexual harassment complaint on her. Men can do that, too.
jefe at January 20, 2015 7:39 PM
What was he supposed to say? Under todays legal climate if he had had any physical contact with her that she came to regret some time in the next 15 years he could have been arrested for sexually assaulting a woman to drunk to consent to the physical action she initiated
lujlp at January 21, 2015 4:47 AM
How is this not fixable with one more communication?
"Hi. I'm sorry I acted so foolishly under the influence. I promise to behave properly and professionally."
And walk away. WALK AWAY.
Radwaste at January 28, 2015 2:16 PM
Radwaste, I think your solution is brilliant.
eXie at January 30, 2015 7:36 PM
Leave a comment