Poor Your Heart Out
I'm a struggling musician (singer/songwriter), so let's just say I'm not swimming in cash. I adore my girl, but I don't have money to spend on her like her previous rich ex (who'd buy her expensive jewelry and designer handbags), so I feel weird buying her anything at all. What can I get her that shows my love without breaking the bank?
--Underfunded
It probably hasn't escaped her that you sometimes prepare for dates by visiting the Coinstar machine.
Money -- even just a little bit of money -- actually can buy happiness, but it helps to know what to spend it on. Research by psychologist Thomas Gilovich finds that money spent on experiences tends to make people happier than money spent on material stuff. That's because we quickly acclimate to the new things in our lives and they stop giving us the same happiness bump they did at first. But an "experiential gift" -- like writing a song for your girlfriend and singing it to her in a romantic location -- is what we might call "reusable happiness." Experiences are a renewable resource because we re-enjoy them as we reflect on them and talk about them. They also become part of a shared relationship history, and that's very bonding.
Who knew? It seems there's an upside to not having a bunch of money to spend: your girlfriend looking back fondly on a day with you in a way she never could with all those romantic afternoons she spent with her Ford Fiesta-priced Prada purse.
Yes, and.
First, let me thank Amy for this particular insight. I will now (after years of the SO telling me the exact same thing), try to spend my money on EXPERIENCES rather than things.
Because a message from a non-SO seems to be more effective than one FROM an SO at times. I am sure there is an article there somewhere.
But I refer to your article about that woman who left (or was left by) the billionaire. One of your insights made me thoughtful: Once you have enough air, more is superfluous (paraphrasing).
So while his creative mind might be blossoming with great and grand ways to give her experiences, if he is thinking long term with this gal, maybe his mind better start creating enough dinero so he isn't stuck serenading her around the local restaurant's dumpster dinner(Tuesday tends to be Surf and Turf for that magical 'late night dining')
He doesn't have to be as rich as the last guy. Just have enough so she feels secure. This is not (or shouldn't be) a major hurdle.
FIDO at January 18, 2017 8:29 AM
Find a local art hobby group, something in jewelry and lapidary, cheaper than a jewelry store and everything is unique
lujlp at January 18, 2017 1:29 PM
Her rich ex didn't make her FEEL attraction, but YOU DO. Think about it-- it may not matter what you get her, just so long as you keep doing what makes her hot for you.
jefe at January 18, 2017 6:42 PM
Leave a comment