Prance Charming
My friend is obsessed with dating models. Of course, because he's dating mostly based on looks, these relationships rarely last. He says that he's trying to move up in the business world and that being seen with a beautiful woman makes a difference in how he's perceived. Wouldn't businesspeople be more impressed if he could keep a relationship going, even if it were with a plainer woman?
--Discerning Dude
The problem with dating largely based on looks is that you tend to end up with the sort of woman who's frequently hospitalized for several days: "I was thinking so hard I dislocated my shoulder."
However, your friend isn't wrong; arm candy appears to be the Prada handbag of male competition. Research by social psychologist Bo Winegard and his colleagues suggests that a man's being accompanied by a modelicious woman functions as a "hard-to-fake" signal of his status, as beautiful women "have the luxury of discriminating among a plethora of suitors."
In the Winegard team's experiments, men paired with attractive women were consistently rated as higher in status than the very same men when they were paired with unattractive women. In one part of the study, some men were assigned an attractive female partner. The men were told that they'd be conducting a survey out on campus with her and that they "were to act as if they and their assigned partner were in a happy relationship."
These men were forced to choose between a group of men and a group of women to survey (and thus flaunt their hot female partner to). Interestingly, almost 70 percent of these guys chose to flaunt to other men. This isn't surprising, considering how, as the researchers note, men are "largely" the ones who determine one another's status (within a group of men). Of course, a man's being seen as high-status by other men is ultimately a path to mo' better babes -- so your friend may basically be getting a twofer by showing off to other dudes.
The reality is, once he's more established, his priority may shift from needing a signal to wanting a partner. At that point, he may come to see the beauty in the sort of woman who has something on her mind -- uh, besides a $200 double-process blond dye job and $600 in hair extensions.
Being pretty doesn't make you stupid.
Being ugly doesn't make you smart.
Haters going to hate hate hate.
'Hmm. I, a pretty girl, can have a job where I am whisked around the world, wear tiny bits of clothes, make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, be celebrated by millions...but I have to fend off the advances of incredibly rich men (one of whom I am likely to marry) and freeze my ass off in cold photo shoots
Ooor I can wear frumpy clothes, make tens of thousands of dollars working 80 hours a week, see my local Starbucks, be celebrated by the Accounting Frat Boys but freeze my ass off in my cubicle and have to fend off Greg.
Decisions decisions!'
FIDO at July 25, 2018 12:22 AM
It isn't just men impressed.
If a woman sees a single man, no matter how handsome, she dismisses him.
A man in a group of male friends MAY get noticed.
A man in a mixed group gets a considered glance 'does he have something going on?'
A man with a stunning female partner also has far higher dating currency for women. 'He is good enough to pull a picky bitch like that. He is probably good enough for me...if she ever loses her hair or gets hit by a truck or gains 30 pounds.'
Surprised you didn't analyze that side of the equation.
Most men can tell you that the second most attractive thing a man can put on is a wedding ring. It makes girls come out of the woodwork.
FIDO at July 25, 2018 12:31 AM
Somehow I doubt it is just the arm candy - hotter women = hotter sex. See e.g. "Slimmer women's waist is associated with better erectile function in men independent of age"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23264164
Snoopy at July 25, 2018 5:35 AM
See also
Men With Attractive Wives Report Higher Levels Of Marital Satisfaction, New Study Finds
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/marriage-study_n_4299002.html
Snoopy at July 25, 2018 5:41 AM
FIDO--- the pretty girl pondering her decisions will likely not have to fend off Greg. As attractive as he may be, I believe he and Amy are a committed duo.
I have pondered this question for many years: If I had to live my life over and had a choice, would I have preferred to be much richer, much prettier, or much smarter? I am almost 81 now and have a long life to look back upon.
I came from a poor family; Father was a mailman, Mother a housewife. I always saw the value of money. Pennies were not pinched but used carefully.
I was much better looking than most of my girlfriends. I still am. I am almost unlined and have beautiful skin to this day with curly white hair down to the middle of my back. I am still noticed in a crowd. I sent Amy my picture and she can vouch for the fact that I can talk the talk because I walk the walk.
I was much smarter than many of my friends (Mensa member, graduated high school at 14 in 1952). This does not make you popular with women or attractive to most men.
Most of what life brought me was due to my looks and in spite of my intelligence. Money is easy to obtain if you are beautiful.
I would chose beautiful over intelligence or money every time. It was my looks which have allowed me to say "been there, done that, regret little".
Elizabeth at July 25, 2018 5:58 AM
"I would chose beautiful over intelligence or money every time. It was my looks which have allowed me to say "been there, done that, regret little"."
Careful, Elizabeth. If the feminists hear you say that they will be after you with their torches and pitchforks.
bkmale at July 25, 2018 7:17 AM
'Most of what life brought me was due to my looks and in spite of my intelligence. Money is easy to obtain if you are beautiful'
I am guessing this is far more true for women than men.
While there is a salary bump for being good looking, and a DISTINCT leg up in women throwing panties at you, very few women, and fewer men throw baskets of cash at men just for being good looking.
Who is the male 'Pamela Anderson' or Jessica Simpson? (Though to be fair, Jessica Simpson has a good set of pipes)
FIDO at July 25, 2018 8:16 AM
Just looked at an article.
In 2013/14, the LOWEST paid top ten female model made $4 million.
The top male model made $1.5 million.
Giselle, that same year made $47 million.
So an anecdote on the benefits of beauty by gender.
FIDO at July 25, 2018 8:22 AM
FIDO - yeah, but that's the top ten. The vast majority of female models make little to nothing.
(There are real advantages to being pretty, but expecting to become a top model just because you're hot isn't one of them. That requires a combination of height, extreme thinness, a distinctive look, and an insane amount of luck.)
Lia at July 25, 2018 11:47 AM
FIDO - If you invent a game where a good looking man holds his leg up for women to throw panties at, you will likely make a fortune.
I have asked very beautiful women how important men's looks are to them. If a woman is very beautiful, she has her pick of men. If she is looking to marry for money, men will still be at her side. I never married FOR money; I married men who I would have married even if they had less money.
Looks are very important to me but I have unusual tastes in what is gorgeous in a man. I have shown my friends a picture of an actor who I find gloriously, breathtakingly handsome and they have ALL said, "I don't see it."
He is in his sixties, bald, has liver spots, and facial scars. What do I see? they asked. STORIES ! This man has LIVED and it shows in his face. He also moves like a dancer.
I also know he likes his women very young (I am 81), and very tiny (I am 6').
Moral: Life is a series of finding out what you may have and what must be denied to you.
Elizabeth at July 25, 2018 12:31 PM
I'm trying to imagine why an attractive date would make you more likely to get a raise or a promotion or a client. I think an attractive date would be more the result than the cause of success.
Lori Miller at July 25, 2018 1:14 PM
Lori, the attractive date IS seen as a result of status, which goes hand in hand with success. Employers, managers, and clients are just as susceptible to primitive social cues as anyone else.
Back in the hunting/gathering days when our environment exerted strong evolutionary pressure on forming the genes that define us today, the best hunter had the hottest mate, and every other guy wanted to have that best hunter in his hunting party.
Also, if you're hiring someone in sales, the best salesmen are also the best pick up artists, because both involve the same soft skills.
bw1 at July 25, 2018 4:10 PM
FIDO - yeah, but that's the top ten. The vast majority of female models make little to nothing.
And I'm guessing that the men still make less.
It is, as I said, an anecdote.
But people who look at the industry in general seem to say this is a general rule, same as porn stars.
Plus there is the gender thing ala Zoolander. A female model is 'normal'. A man paid to 'prance around in his underwear' for his money is looked down upon
FIDI at July 26, 2018 3:50 AM
I guess it boils down to what's more important to you, material things or intangible spiritual qualities. It seems to me that the less beautiful women have a better chance of attaining deeper, lasting satisfaction with life and in relationships than drop-dead gorgeous women who have always relied on their looks alone to make it through life. Looks, money, and material possessions are fleeting. Love is forever.
Nancy J. at July 26, 2018 8:20 PM
Fido: A man with a stunning female partner also has far higher dating currency for women. . . . Most men can tell you that the second most attractive thing a man can put on is a wedding ring. It makes girls come out of the woodwork.
All very true, and I'd like to add that you don't even need a wedding ring or a hot female partner. I'm sure I'm not the only average-looking guy who has received more looks from women when I've been with a girlfriend than when I've been by myself. I'm not saying being out with a woman turned me into George Clooney and I got mobbed, but there always was an uptick in looks and smiles from women.
JD at July 29, 2018 3:59 PM
Nancy: It seems to me that the less beautiful women have a better chance of attaining deeper, lasting satisfaction with life and in relationships than drop-dead gorgeous women who have always relied on their looks alone to make it through life.
Interesting question and there may be studies out there to be found. For my belief, I'd put women in three broad groups - very attractive, very unattractive, and in the middle. If I had to bet some money on it, I'd say the same thing as you, that less beautiful women have "a better chance of attaining deeper, lasting satisfaction with life and in relationships." However, to me that "less beautiful" would be the women in that middle group.
I'm not as sure about the women in the very unattractive group. I think they may be at the low end of the totem pole (excuse my cultural appropriation there.)
JD at July 29, 2018 4:16 PM
I guess it boils down to what's more important to you, material things or intangible spiritual qualities. It seems to me that the less beautiful women have a better chance of attaining deeper, lasting satisfaction with life and in relationships than drop-dead gorgeous women who have always relied on their looks alone to make it through life. Looks, money, and material possessions are fleeting. Love is forever.
Well, maybe. I would also observe that a ravishingly beautiful woman or a very rich accomplished man even moderately attractive have a HELL of a lot more options than Sweet (Plain) Polly Pureheart.
Tiger Woods had hundreds of women wanting some of that mojo. And even a female seven in her twenties has more offers than she can count.
PPP HAS to make her relationship work. And if she finds or makes love from that, more power to her.
FIDO at August 2, 2018 10:44 PM
"If a woman sees a single man, no matter how handsome, she dismisses him."
All the proof I needed that FIDO is an obese dude sitting in the middle of the country
Mary at November 16, 2018 11:58 AM
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