Give Pizza A Chance
I'm a straight 36-year-old woman, and I recently lost a lot of weight. My doctor's happy. My girlfriends think I look great. They're all "How'd you do it?" "You look like a model!" However, my male friends think I'm too skinny now. Is there a big difference in what the sexes consider a good body?
--Slim
Though women assume that men think the ideal female body shape is modeliciously skinny, consider that construction workers rarely yell out, "Hey, Hotstuff! Great set of ribs!"
In studies exploring men's and women's ideas of the ideal female body weight, women consistently "perceive men as being attracted to thinner female figures than is true in reality," writes social psychologist Viren Swami. And it isn't just North American men who like fleshier women. Swami ran a massive survey -- of 7,434 men and women in 26 countries, across 10 world regions -- and "men across all world regions except East Asia selected a significantly heavier figure as being most physically attractive compared to what women believed was most attractive to men."
Swami and his colleagues speculate that "women exposed to magazines marketed to women may form skewed perceptions of what body types are most appealing to men." But don't despair. Swami's study and others measure the preferences of the "average" man. There is no such person. Or, as an epidemiologist friend of mine often reminds me, there are "individual differences" -- meaning individuals' preferences vary. In other words, there are men out there who will be seriously into a woman like you -- a woman who can do amazing feats in the bedroom, like removing a pair of skinny jeans without calling 911 and asking for firemen to come over with the Jaws of Life.
Men like women. There are plenty of guys who prefer slender and even skinny women. There are plenty of guys who have a slight preference for one body type but would be happy to date another type if the woman has other features (physical, personality, etc) he considers attractive.
So as long as you are being healthy and feel good, don't worry about it.
NicoleK at September 11, 2018 10:36 PM
Correction:The above post is specifically about straight men
NicoleK at September 11, 2018 10:37 PM
Women should have curves in places where guys don't even have places.
Jay at September 12, 2018 7:41 AM
Men are like women - we're all different. If you were to look exactly like the composite average of every guy's dream woman, you would attract very few. Some guys like long, toned legs, with corresponding small round butts. Some guys like big boobs and bigger butts. You just have to find a guy that's really into what you've got.
If you've made a lifestyle change, chances are most of your friends haven't. So, the guys you know are more likely to like heavier women. Perhaps you need to do more of the activities that fit people do, and meet the guys who are into women who are active.
All that said, I can't imagine any guy turning down one when he most likes the other, and most guys agree on what makes someone attractive.
SlowMindThinking at September 13, 2018 2:49 PM
What is her height & weight now?
Looking attractive increases you value and thereby increases the range of people you can attract, nothing more
'Momma June' looks to be 350 lbs and has half a dozen kids
Women tortured with whips and knives whos skin is a giant mass of scar tissue get married and have kids
lujlp at September 14, 2018 12:47 AM
She got the opinion of ONE man. How are the REST of the male population reacting? Is she now getting more glances? Is she the target of more 'hellos' and inane questions from men?
More importantly, what happened to her rack and her ass? If she lost two cup sizes and has pancake ass, MYSTERY SOLVED! Who wants to jump someone who looks like they belong in a Sally Struthers fund raising video?
Also, is the male friend Latino? Makes a huge difference.
One needs only look at the 'One Woman Photoshopped by 18 Countries' to see that there ARE important cultural differences in beauty standards. Tanned works in England, not Thailand. Racks don't work in China.
So I disagree with the 'universality' of male opinion. Men (in general) just has a far wider set of 'bangability' standards than women do, which includes a bit more meat between the sheets.
FIDO at September 14, 2018 7:38 AM
Plenty of guys like super skinny chicks. But I actually had the same thought.
NicoleK at September 15, 2018 6:16 AM
A really skinny woman will knee and elbow a man to death in bed. Take my word for it.
ken at September 16, 2018 7:14 PM
I've been a size 0 and I was unhealthily skinny and had no muscle tone (not true of all size 0's, but it was true of me). I've been a size 18 and felt like a repulsive heifer (due to serious meds issues, fwiw so bad time in my life anyway). My natural size is 6 to 8. And never in that massive range (about 5'7" . . . 119 at the lowest, 180 at the highest, normal is about 140) have I ever had any trouble, in Amy Schumer's immortal words, catching a dick. And some high-quality dick, I might mention. Confidence, knowing how to dress to maximize assets and, yeah, a fantastic rack do count for a lot. I like toned, healthy, bikini rocking me a lot better than sad shopping at Lane Bryant me (or living on lettuce leaves and Diet Coke me). But all of them had admirers and that's a thing to remember.
Anathema at September 19, 2018 1:29 PM
Just to bring some perspective: women are almost always living in 'Feast' mode. If they are willing to be flexible on their standards, they NEVER need to go home alone. (They are seldom flexible on their standards).
To use the food metaphor...a woman will disdain a meal just because she got some meat juice on her potatoes. Because she almost always has a buffet. It just changes from a June Brunch Buffet at the Four Seasons...to a slow Sunday with lazy workers at the Golden Corral.
Men, unless they are in that 20%, are always in 'Famine' mode: they never know when their next meal is coming and there is almost nothing they can do to hasten the process. Sort of like Somalia.
In such a situation, how many men are going to turn down a free meal just because the presentation isn't perfect?
FIDO at September 20, 2018 1:11 AM
If you want to know what kind of female body men like, watch beer commercials.
Do not take your cues from fashion magazines run by women and gay men.
Chester White at September 22, 2018 12:56 AM
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