Sanctimony Sells!
"Jesus died for your sins -- and also to sell you a really bitchin' 'Passion' coffee mug," writes Mark Morford. Nothing like cheap movie swag to make a movie David Denby called "a sickening death trip" go down a little easier:
You, yes you, can right now purchase a truly stylin' sepia-toned "Passion of the Christ" cross-adorned coffee mug, an exact replica of the one Jesus Himself used every morning at the Jerusalem Starbucks.You can buy "witnessing tools," including lapel pins labeled in indecipherable Aramaic (yay Aramaic! What a comeback! Who knew?) and lapel pins with crucifixes, and packs of "witnessing cards" to swap with your Jesus-happy friends, just like the Disciples did when they sat around the holy campfire, swapping tales of sad lost goddesses and making s'mores with communion wafers and pink Easter marshmallow peeps.
But nothing says "slightly masochistic Jesus fanatic" like adorning your fine self with a two-inch silver pewter crucifixion-nail pendant, hanging 'round your neck from a nice 24-inch leather chord. Oh my yes.
It's an actual product, available right now for about ten bucks from Mel Gibson's official "Passion of the Christ" movie Web site, while supplies last, which they will forever and ever because they're doubtlessly made in bulk by Malaysian sweatshop workers wearing faded "Lethal Weapon IV" T-shirts who all believe in a very unhappy Allah. Irony, it knoweth no boundaries.
Hey...where's my Mary Magdalene "Girl Power" ring!?
For what it's worth, the nails are made in Santa Ana, California by Bob Siemen designs. They make all kinds of religious-themed jewelry--you can get bunches of similar things at religious bookstores. There was a "Passion" slideshow on Yahoo yesterday, and that was one of the pictures.
Peggy C at February 25, 2004 9:59 AM
Marketing is the latest religion. I truly think that Western civilization, through the process of television, is losing the ability to see the world in chapters. Now most of us are trained to respond to buzz-words like Pavlovian rats- compassion, passion, fashion. There is plenty of information out there to be digested, but few will take the iniative.
Angels are a favorite subject of mine. Today most American believe in them, and see them as a beneficial force in their lives. Read the Bible and look at the historical beliefs in angels- if you saw one, chances are God was really pissed off or getting ready to fuck with you. Interesting also that the belief in angels all but dissappeared until a generation ago, even though no credible evidence has surfaced about their existence. All marketing!
War and religion in America have similar roots nowdays. I look at my fathers generation (in Britain) who lived through World War 2, and the realities of the horrors of war. They had actual experience. Todays American generation sees war as a sport akin to the Super Bowl- our side vs the bad team. We see our victories over and over, and ignore the sacrifices (i.e. the news ban on dead soldiers being delivered at night with no televised coverage) Citizens are not asked to make any sacrifices or participate in the war- except shut up and support the troops. The young generation is marketed to believe war is an American right and only the bad guys set hurt- nobody talks about the 10,000 Iraqi citizens just like your family and mine that were slaughtered by America. We see ourselves as the Roman Senate defending ourselves against the barbarian hordes.
PS- Anybody that takes a child to see this movie is just plain sick in the head.
eric at February 25, 2004 10:01 AM
Speaking of marketing jesus
I'm reminded of a line of dildos that some guy in San Francisco invented. He had buddha, moses, all the usual suspects, and the highlight of the line was called the "Jackhammer Jesus."(and no Lena, I don't have his p.o. box) And as to poor mel
Mel Gibson: From Braveheart to Bubblehead
With the release of Mel Gibsonís upcoming movie ìThe
Passion,î which depicts the last twelve hours of Jesus of
Nazareth, Mr. Gibson is about to hit the trifecta, the holy
trinity of boobery. ìThe Passionî will take its place
alongside his recent offerings of 1997ís ìConspiracy Theoryî
and 2001ís ìSigns.î
ìConspiracy Theory,î from what I could decipher of it,
championed the notion that some conspiracy theories are
true. ìSignsî championed the notion of crop circles, aliens
etc. being real. And now we breathlessly await ìThe
Passion.î
On the other side of the spectrum, there are those of us
that champion rationality, humanism, reason and science over
the paranormal, conspiracy theories and the supernatural.
Movies like these simply reinforce humanities endless
descent into delusion and worlds of make believe. Far from
benign, many of these delusions are actually dangerous.
Whatís next Mel? ìPiltdown man, the real story.î
And to think, all of this fervor regarding a "man"
that very likely never even existed to begin with.(A concoction of imaginative writers weaving pre-existing mythology, lies, and wishful thinking.)
The words of my beloved Kurtz are ringing in my ears, "the horror, the horror."
chris at February 25, 2004 10:39 AM
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine
Melting in a pot of thieves
Wild card up my sleeve
Thick heart of stone
My sins my own
They belong to me.
Patti Smith Jr. at February 25, 2004 2:43 PM
i'm not going to get into a debate again, but i just have to say... Patti, whether you like it or not, He did die for your sins, and even if you had been the only one in the entire world, He would have done it. sorry, but there's nothing you can do about it. i encourage all of you to see the movie before you condemn it. but i'm sure you won't, so i won't waste anymore of my time telling you about it, and i won't debate, so go on with your awful comments. or let me save you some time, i'm stupid i'm small minded i'm not thinking for myself. there, now you won't even have to respond. but know that i am praying for all of you.
Lauren at February 26, 2004 8:28 AM
"Read the Bible and look at the historical beliefs in angels- if you saw one, chances are God was really pissed off or getting ready to fuck with you."
Eric -- That totally made me laugh! I know, angels are really fucking scary! Huge albinos with wings! No thank you!
Lena at February 26, 2004 11:51 PM
Lauren --
I guess you think you're praying for us because you love us or you love Jesus or something like that. I think you're praying out of pure, unadulterated SELF-INTEREST. Aren't you imagining Jesus thinking to himself, "Lauren cares so much about other people, and she does such great PR for me. I'm gonna pull her up to Cloud Nine when she croaks."
I imagine you going straight to hell for characterizing Jesus as such a petty and insecure guy. Don't you think that if god existed, he or she or it would want all of us to be as fearless and critical as thinking human beings can be -- instead of sniveling, cowawdly, and small-minded?
Lena
PS: The Mel Gibson film sounds like really bad porno to me. I'd be embarrassed to sit there in the theatre with other folks, just like I was during that horrifying sodomy scene in Boys Don't Cry.
Lena at February 27, 2004 6:33 AM
Thanks Lauren, really
but..
in a recent article(also blasphemous) I had published on
AOL(Amy read it) I had at last count 430 responses on the message board or personal emails.
of these the vast majority didn't like what I wrote and said they would pray for me.(and this is just one article I've had similar experinces many other times as well) So I already have dozens if not a few hundred presumably praying for me as I write this. Since I'm already covered, I would concentrate on that Lena, or Amy herself. But thank you.
chris at February 27, 2004 11:30 AM
Chris -- "That Lena" is doing the hard work of saving her own soul, thank you very much. And Amy -- she's a GODDESS, hello! People pray TO her, not FOR her. hugs, L
PS: Give me the PO box. I know you have it.
Lena at February 27, 2004 12:03 PM
I can't resist a good religious discussion. here's the URL for the dildos
http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/divine_dildos.html
Jan at March 7, 2004 5:27 PM
The real Jesus, the one born almost 2000 years ago in Bethlehem, and not the totally unrealistic one in Gibson's film, did die for you. He died for all of us, (me, you, your neighbor, your enemy, and so on) because we have a sinful nature that causes us to enjoy being cruel to others, to not believing in God (who is, btw, of masculine character, and not a "she" or an "it", but of a fatherly nature, and an intelligent all-powerful being) because we have no hope without the new life He offers everyone and the eternal life you gain by repenting of your sin and accepting that He died in your place because He paid the price required by a perfect God, which humankind messed up. But He also offers free-will, which means you can accept or reject His free gift of forgiveness, and you have a chance to accept on faith until the moment you die. And after that it's too late. You enter into a Christless eternity of suffering and punishment because you rejected the Jesus Christ who wanted to offer you, while you were alive, a new life by dying for you, in your place, as your sacrificial replacement, because He's God and can do anything He chooses. We will all stand before Him. You will stand before Him one day, and if you stand before Him having rejected the gift He offered you so freely while you were on the earth, He will judge you according to every sin you committed while you were alive. When you reject Christ's dying on your behalf you are telling God that you will pay for your own sins, which is humanly impossible for anyone to do. Only the perfect Jesus Christ can die in your place and only His perfect, holy blood can wash away your sin. Believe, repent, and be saved, for today in the day of salvation, because you might not be here tomorrow, and then it will be too late.
Sindy at December 6, 2004 1:46 AM
"The real Jesus"?! How do you know there was a Jesus, because somebody told you there was one? "He did this, he did that..."? "You enter into a Christless eternity of suffering and punishment..." You're awfully sure of that...based on...what? Your willngness to be a primitive thinker and believe whatever you are told? Weird. Backward. Scary.
Amy Alkon at December 6, 2004 7:29 AM