Wedding Psychos Missing The Point -- As Well As The Groom
Alyson Krueger writes in The New York Times of women who've planned their weddings -- long before finding the groom. The way I see it, this is a great way to end up seeing postive things in a guy that aren't there. Krueger:
Kate Owens, a 34-year-old project manager for I.B.M. who lives in Clifton Park, N.Y., had planned her wedding for more than a decade before marrying last June.
She began planning in her 20s as a single woman with no boyfriend and no prospects. She watched as her friends were getting engaged and sending photos of dresses and rings. She began daydreaming, looking regularly over the next 10 years at the Maggie Sottero bridal collection online and the Dessy Group Web site.
Ms. Owens did not know if she would ever meet someone and settle down. Still, she printed pictures of hairstyles, flower arrangements and ring settings she found online. She looked up locations like Birch Hill, a serene farm outside Albany, and found a wedding planner, Shannon Whitney, who agreed to speak to her even though she didn't have a ring.
"I had it all planned out," Ms. Owens said. "Just in case."
And she said almost every plan became reality, from the bridesmaids dresses to the outdoor wedding. "The big joke at our wedding was that I had booked the band nine years in advance," Ms. Owens said. "I had gone up to them one night at a bar in 2003 and said: 'I love you guys. I don't have a groom yet, but when I find one will you play my wedding?' They said yes that day and honored that commitment."
This bit is healthy:
Another problem is the not-quite-bride is not taking into account a future partner and what his needs and considerations might be, Ms. Byron said. "Even though you have all these ideas and you've done your homework and you are prepared as a single girl," she said, "you have to understand that marriage is a union and you have to take your other half into consideration."
Ms. Prindle, for example, said that if she met someone she wanted to marry, she doesn't think his input would matter. "I figure, this is what it's going to be," she said.
Ms. Owens said that once she was engaged, her fiancé, Shawn Owens, was initially frustrated "because he's like, 'This is not your wedding, this is our wedding.'"
Welcome to a lifetime of being pussy-whipped!