Free Speech: Are You Offended?
A quote from Stephen Fry:
'It's now very common to hear people say, "I'm rather offended by that", as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. "I'm offended by that." Well, so fucking what?'
via @CHSommers
I believe the proper response would be "So, leave." After all, people do have the right to be wrong.
MarkD at January 29, 2014 4:14 AM
Stephen Fry is brilliant!
And he is one of my favorite comedians/actors. Here are a couple of classic Fry stories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzfCtGFgRSk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbEenHXmmy4
Gotta love his wonderful sense of humor!
Charles at January 29, 2014 7:11 AM
I just love hearing that cultured British accent saying "So fucking what"? (Actually, I just love Stephen Fry. And Rowan Atkinson. And Hugh Laurie.
And all things Black Adder.
Pricklypear at January 29, 2014 7:17 AM
The standard greeting on the online radio channel "Pandora" suggests that if you may be offended by the adult content, you pick another channel.
Why is this so hard for people?
Radwaste at January 29, 2014 7:25 AM
The standard greeting on the online radio channel "Pandora" suggests that if you may be offended by the adult content, you pick another channel.
Why is this so hard for people?
Because, for some people, the joy is in using force to bend whatever offends them to their will.
mpetrie98 at January 29, 2014 8:04 AM
"Because, for some people, the joy is in using force to bend whatever offends them to their will."
Posted by: mpetrie98 at January 29, 2014 8:04 AM
In my experience, it's usually women who do this explicitly - use their upset as a form of leverage to affect or extort a change in behavior, rather than as a signal to address some underlying disconnect.
My best friends are very direct and successful women.
Michelle at January 29, 2014 8:15 AM
I hope he was meaning "I'm rather offended by that, and will use a silly law to hurt you" which is the context.
But his statement on its own is silly - and offensive. Speaking up if offended can open discussion, and possible reconciliation. Yelling, though, is not saying and is usually not conducive to asking why the yeller feels offended - thus, serves no purpose other than a release of bile and offending whoever is being yelled at.
-John A at January 29, 2014 9:40 AM
My response is, "I can live with that."
-Jut
JutGory at January 29, 2014 10:05 AM
I agree with John. There are times when speaking up about something that offends you can be useful. For example, I lived in a certain southern state in the 80's and heard quite a few racially charged comments. Some of them were said to me as though I should agree with them. I made it known that the comments were offensive to me and many others. Sometimes you have to let your opinion be known to help affect needed change.
OTOH, I've been reading a blog by a young woman named Amy Glass who has single-handedly offended every stay at home mom in the nation, and if you don't know about offending SAHM's, you don't know how spiteful, vindictive and methodical an attack can be. She dared to say that they like to talk about the fact that they're doing the hardest job there is, when in fact it's quite easy. The hate mail is piling up. She has a right to her opinion, but the derision she is being accosted with attempts to invalidate every word she utters. They hate her, and they plan to either kill her or run her out of town. This is the type of attack that Fry's message speaks to.
Laurie at January 29, 2014 1:21 PM
My favorite response to those people is: "So. what is that to me?"
Jay at January 29, 2014 2:17 PM
I think the difference is, when someone makes racist comments and you say, "I'm offended by that," and someone replies, "Well, so fucking what," you can respond with what-for.
You use "I'm offended" to begin a discussion, to at best motivate a change in behavior based on respect for a person's humanity, or at the very least set boundaries about what you won't tolerate around you based on values you can discuss.
Too many people (in my experience mostly, though not exclusively, women) focus on how they feel not as a prelude to but in lieu of addressing underlying issues. The "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" thinly veiled threat approach to control instead of negotiation.
As for Ms. Glass - she hit that hornet's nest squarely with a large bat, GAME ON, and has responded cogently to counter-points that stand out clearly in the squall she provoked.
Michelle at January 29, 2014 2:46 PM
She dared to say that they like to talk about the fact that they're doing the hardest job there is, when in fact it's quite easy. The hate mail is piling up. She has a right to her opinion, but the derision she is being accosted with attempts to invalidate every word she utters. They hate her, and they plan to either kill her or run her out of town. This is the type of attack that Fry's message speaks to.
Posted by: Laurie at January 29, 2014 1:21 PM
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I have to say, if some of Dr. John Rosemond's mail is any indication, many parents LIKE to exhaust themselves to the point of misery - or they've been brainwashed into thinking they must be neglecting their kids if they don't.
From 1998:
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1356&dat=19980412&id=yeRPAAAAIBAJ&sjid=cAgEAAAAIBAJ&pg=6816,7486521
First half:
'Parenting isn't exactly a no-brainer," I said to an audience, "but it's close to it."
Some laughed, and some just looked at me like I was from another planet. They needed convincing.
"How many of you think your parents did a fine job at child rearing?" I asked, to which about nine out of every 10 people raised their hands.
"Keep your hand up if you're fairly certain child rearing was not something into which your parents put a great deal of thought, or even effort." The three out of four hands that stayed airborne were testament to the fact that just two generations ago, what we today call "parenting" was in the words of a septuagenarian with whom I recently spoke "just something you did."
It was regarded as a big responsibility, yes, but not something that required a lot of effort. The typical pre-1960s parent believed successful child rearing was not a matter of how much effort one made, but where one put the effort.
Unfortunately, today's parent believes the busiest, most "involved" parent is the best parent. Part of being "involved" is spending "quality time" with a child, a lot of which is spent talking. The more you talk to your child, the better a parent you are, don't you know?
Yesterday's parents, we are told, were "remote" and "distant," especially fathers. Today's parents want to do a better job, which is all well and good. Yet no one who was around back then disagrees that yesterday's children were, on average, considerably more well behaved, respectful, responsible and independent than today's kids, many of whom qualify, by 1950s standards, as certifiable brats.
How can we explain how such good intentions have resulted in so many heartaches and hassles when it comes to discipline?
Easy.......
(snip)
lenona at January 29, 2014 3:12 PM
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts. -- Bethania McKenstry
Actually I want to hear why the idea offends them. Especially when I can search the internet to respond.
Probably about 90% can be refuted with facts.
Jim P. at January 29, 2014 6:11 PM
I disagree, if someone offends you it's better to just say so than be passive-aggressive about it.
People who whine about people being offended are generally douches who want to go around being jerks without any negative reactions.
NicoleK at January 30, 2014 7:12 AM
People who whine about people being offended are generally douches who want to go around being jerks without any negative reactions.
Posted by: NicoleK at January 30, 2014 7:12 AM
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Exactly. Miss Manners has pointed out that there are both bad AND good types of "political correctness," so people should learn to recognize the latter and stop complaining about it.
She also said that she would be happy to retire her business if people really didn't care about manners - but, of course, they do. They just don't like having to give respect in order to get it.
lenona at January 30, 2014 1:55 PM
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