When Ubering Becomes Moochering: The One-Way Uber Rider
More and more people are using Uber, and more and more people are trying to use it just one way...as in, they take Uber to a party or event and then go around trying to bum rides off people who drove.
Believe me, I understand the impulse to save $15 bucks or so -- or more -- and this is why I drive my very own motor vehicle, as opposed to taking Uber.
It's rude to impose on people like this. Other drivers may not want to go home when you do, andthey may feel they have to leave before they want to or stay longer just to accommodate you (not that they should or owe you that).
Also, if you smoke and then get in somebody's car and they're a nonsmoker, they're going to have to smell your yicky breath all the way to wherever. No, not the biggest deal in the world, but not everybody finds stale cigarette-infused air in a closed vehicle appealing.
So what is polite Ubering? If you took Uber to the party, the event, the meeting, expect to take it home!
And if you're a driver of your own car who's being mooched off, yes, you can say no. As a social lubricant, it may help you to offer an excuse: You have to make a stop on the way, etc. (Beats telling the likely truth: "I find you a cheap and presumptuous turd.")
No, I don't necessarily mind taking somebody home if it's on my way or not that far out of my way -- just not when they refuse to pull their transportational weight because they see moochertunities in those who feel uncomfortable turning them down.
For more on how to keep rude people from having their way with you, please consider ordering my new book, the science-based and funny "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck" (around $11 at Amazon). (Also at Barnes & Noble.)
I am reminded of the old license frame I'd see on cars in the 1970s:
"Gas, Grass, or Ass: Nobody rides for free!!"
(evil grin)
Keith Glass at March 23, 2015 9:22 AM
Buddy of mine went to a party with his new girl and ran into a clingy chick who has been sort of, well, not STALKING him but definitely throwing herself at him.
End of the evening and clingy chick is working hard to get him to drive her home and simply won't take a hint or 'no' for an answer.
Finally she whines "But you're taking HER home. Why won't you take ME home?!".
His answer? "Because you're not doing me!".
I'm so very, very unhappy I didn't see that in person.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at March 23, 2015 10:32 AM
I run into this all the time in Austin, land of the House Party, bad public transit, and people who are in denial that they're adults.
I almost never drink, and that info has gotten around my boyfriend's heavy-drinking social circle, making me the go-to involuntary DD. I can't go to a party hosted by one of his friends without five people approaching me for rides, which would create a 2-hour route home to drop everyone off in various parts of the city. I learned to say, "No, sorry, I have to get up super early tomorrow." Or lie about having a full car already. I've also straight-up left people behind who were still "saying goodbye" to everyone and "having one more drink" 15 minutes past the agreed-on departure time.
When I left home, my dad told me it's important to "know how to get home." Have enough money on you for a cab. Know when the last bus leaves. Regulate your drinking so you can drive yourself. Or make plans with a friend in advance (and offer to drive them next time). Just NEVER show up somewhere without knowing how you're getting home.
sofar at March 23, 2015 10:44 AM
How is this diifferent from with taxis or subways? Personally I've been on both sides.... Ive bummed rides and given them. Not seeing a problem.
NicoleK at March 23, 2015 10:56 AM
And let's not forget the one-way "Uber crasher":
You host a party, and a handful of your attendees Uber'd there, didn't find a ride home and refuse to pay the late-night Uber surge pricing to get home (or they drove themselves and drank too much to drive home safely and refuse to spring for an Uber). So they ask if they can crash overnight. The host feels bad turning people out on the streets, so they say yes, causing them to have their apartment and bathroom taken over until 3 pm the next day with a bunch of hung-over people who just won't leave.
sofar at March 23, 2015 10:57 AM
so, I guess being an introverted misanthrope is worth a lil something.
how nice.
SwissArmyD at March 23, 2015 11:22 AM
"I've bummed rides and given them."
Conan the Grammarian at March 23, 2015 11:27 AM
I just say "No sorry I have to go home right away and shit water. New colonic green tea diet mixed with this alcohol I just had you see"
Ppen at March 23, 2015 11:29 AM
Sofar, I didn't think of that -- the one-way Uberer who then takes over your house as a hotel.
And it's one thing if your car has broken down and you're not sure where to catch the bus. Or are worried about taking it at night. I'd give a person like this a ride.
Amy Alkon at March 23, 2015 12:21 PM
Love this, too, Gog:
Amy Alkon at March 23, 2015 12:21 PM
I've always assumed they just wanted to be chloroformed and taken to my dungeon.
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
jerry at March 23, 2015 12:30 PM
I learned to say, "No, sorry, I have to get up super early tomorrow." Or lie about having a full car already.
sofar, I see a business opportunity. You could uber them around after these parties. Make sure they pay you ahead of time - cash only, and agree to your time of departure.
I R A Darth Aggie at March 23, 2015 12:47 PM
sofar, I see a business opportunity. You could uber them around after these parties. Make sure they pay you ahead of time - cash only, and agree to your time of departure.
I think you're onto something, and I'm pretty sure nobody would bug me for a ride they never plan to reciprocate again!
A friend of mine is actually a Lyft driver. He often goes to parties, abstains from alcohol and then picks up several fares on his way home at 2am (to take advantage of surge pricing). Inevitably, people will notice he's staying sober and start in on, "Hey, man, I was wondering, could you give me a ride home?" And he responds, "Sure! I was planning on picking up some Lyft fares on the way home, but I'd be happy to drive you if you can make it worth my while!"
As soon as people figure out he means cash, they back away.
sofar at March 23, 2015 1:38 PM
"The host feels bad turning people out on the streets, so they say yes, causing them to have their apartment and bathroom taken over until 3 pm the next day with a bunch of hung-over people who just won't leave."- sofar
This is one of the good things about not living in central Austin any more. My husband would bring his buddies back from the Draughthouse and they'd sit around and drink all night and NOT F*CKING LEAVE. We moved way, way out near Lake Travis, so now people only come out for daytime barbecues, and they watch their consumption because they know it's a long drive home. The only "guest" we've had lately who just wouldn't freaking go home was my brother, who lives in San Antonio and is socially inept, anyway.
ahw at March 23, 2015 2:39 PM
In general, you should assume the way you go there is the way you're getting home, barring extenuated circumstances.
However, had I used Über to get there, and a friend offered to drive me home, I'd probably accept. I would NEVER shark around trying to bum a ride off someone. That's rude.
Daghain at March 23, 2015 6:31 PM
My husband would bring his buddies back from the Draughthouse and they'd sit around and drink all night and NOT F*CKING LEAVE.
haha same! Except it's usually Barfly's with my boyfriend's buddies. I wake up the next day, and the livingroom smells like Barfly's. And barf. Same thing.
sofar at March 24, 2015 7:30 AM
"I find you a cheap and presumptuous turd."
Hey thanks, Amy; I'm an old geezer who is tired of trying to hint that I can't/won't give free rides to the cheapskates any more - and, now, you've given me the perfect phrase to use.
Some folks just do not get hints and need to have that anvil dropped on their heads!
charles at March 24, 2015 7:02 PM
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