Hire Wal-Mart To Run FEMA!
If only there were a service Olympics, in which government would have to compete against businesses to see who does the best job. The gold medal, of course, would be the job.
Jennifer Larino writes for the Times-Picayune in New Orleans about the handling of disaster relief efforts:
Wal-Mart trucks were among the first to deliver much needed supplies after Hurricane Katrina tore through the Gulf Coast in 2005. As many Katrina survivors still note, Wal-Mart trucks arrived well before the Federal Emergency Management Agency did.Over the weekend, Wal-Mart was again among the large companies in Louisiana able to keep supply lines open and operations going despite catastrophe -- this time historic flooding that devastated whole communities and shut down major roadways.
Wal-Mart spokeswoman Erica Jones said the corporation's emergency operations center in Bentonville, Ark., kicked into high gear late last week as forecast warnings of record rainfall started to roll in. Wal-Mart has about 30 locations in the affected area, including stores in the heavily flooded communities of Denham Springs and Baker.
Jones said early planning included mapping alternate routes for trucks delivering to stores in and around Louisiana. Corporate meteorologists monitored the weather and helped inform plans. Preparations were made to ramp up shipments of essential supplies -- from bottled water to baby formula -- to the region as it became clear conditions would worsen.
...corporations can serve as a model for how disaster response should work. Experts point to Katrina. While FEMA's response was lethargic and inefficient, major companies ushered in needed supplies quickly.
There is one major difference, and it's if you totally suck at your job when you work for a business, your ass gets fired.
Working for the government, however, you win big for sucking big. Melanie Zanona writes for The Hill about TSA honcho Kelly Hoggan failing his way into a $90K bonus:
Hoggan came under fire during an Oversight hearing for receiving a $90,000 bonus, which was paid in small increments over a 13-month period, despite a damning report that showed that screeners he oversaw were failing to detect fake bombs and weapons during security tests.The agency has been scrambling to alleviate overwhelmed security lines and increased wait times at airports around the country.
Oh, and note that whichever cronies got Hoggan that bonus paid it out in small increments -- probably so it wouldn't be noticed.
When ordinary citizens do this, this is a crime called "structuring" -- even if they were just banking the $9,996 their liquor store brought in and had no idea depositing $10K increments of honestly earned money was against the law.
What happens is that the government takes their money for "structuring," and they have to hire a lawyer (if they can even afford one) to get their own money back.
New Orleans via @Mark_J_Perry
Then there's the Waffle House Index.
Conan the Grammarian at August 20, 2016 10:11 PM
Had to lookie that one uppie:
http://www.snopes.com/fema-waffle-house-index/
Amy Alkon at August 20, 2016 10:13 PM
Most blood-curdling sentence evah:
"We're from the government and we're here to help you"
Ben David at August 21, 2016 3:26 AM
Regarding the "Waffle House Index," which I hadn't heard of until now: There was a similar story out here in the DMV, where local reporters would call around to Arlington pizza joints to see how many pizzas were being delivered to the Pentagon after business hours. If the number was high, reporters could assume something awful was happening, or about to happen.
I have no idea whether that's true or not, and there are lots of things that can keep a military headquarters in the office past dinner time. Budget submissions come readily to mind.
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at August 21, 2016 6:00 AM
Autocorrect change my original link. Sorry about that.
Waffle House Index
The point is not that Waffle House operations are used by FEMA to determine where help is needed, it's that the company, along with Walmart, Home Depot, and Lowe's has worked hard to minimize potential supply chain disruptions and maintain operational continuity.
In government, only the military works that hard on mitigating potential supply chain issues. "FEMA and other agencies don’t regularly engage in this sort of behavior."
Several companies are now getting into disaster relief. In commercials, Tide shows of its Loads of Hope program, a semi truck based portable laundromat system.
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"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" ~ Ronald Reagan
"You guys do what you do best! Find something simple and complicate it." ~ Burt Gummer to Federal agents (Tremors 3)
Conan the Grammarian at August 21, 2016 6:56 AM
Understandable. You're from Michigan and live in LA, with a stopover in NYC. Waffle House is not omnipresent in those areas.
Here in the South, Waffle House is everywhere.
Conan the Grammarian at August 21, 2016 7:09 AM
Waffle House isn't quite everywhere:
https://twitter.com/hashtag/wafflesforAgs?src=hash
Only SEC university that doesn't have a Waffle House in the city limits.
I R A Darth Aggie at August 21, 2016 9:34 AM
There's gotta be an Aggie joke in there somewhere about not having a Waffle House, I just know it!
Went to Orlando recently. Waffle House left me sticky in the oddest places on my person where nothing sticky should have touched me, but it was the best meal and the cheapest meal I think I had in the city. Except for maybe Bonefish Grill (best meal, definitely not the cheapest).
gooseegg at August 21, 2016 5:24 PM
Waffle House is a mixed bag. One day the food and service are good, and the next day, not so much. But it's cheap and fast, and they serve any meal at any time of day.
Yes, there are a lot of companies now who have set up emergency networks that can move supplies and services into disaster areas quickly. Verizon has trucks with generators and a portable cell tower, and phones and Internet service for people to use.
Cousin Dave at August 22, 2016 7:25 AM
And yet, Goddess, you have said you will vote for Hillary to continue Obama's policies.
With Trump we might get changes with TSA, etc. With Hillary, no chance.
Chester White at August 22, 2016 5:40 PM
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