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Conform or rebel isn't really the choice. Even the so-called rebels conform to their own social group norms. The choice is to which social group norm you conform.
"Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in." ~ Sydney J. Harris
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person." ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Conan the Grammarian
at May 12, 2018 9:48 AM
Speaking of conforming OUTSIDE of the workplace...here's what I said a while back.
(On why "being yourself" can be a bad idea) I wasn't talking about refusing to conform to some high-school clique; I was talking about teens who are just plain unappealing in appearance and behavior to ADULTS as well as to their peers - and for the same reasons. Bad smells, bad language, lack of humility OR a severe lack of confidence, etc.
In other words, there's good conformity and there's bad conformity. Don't confuse them; even a five-year-old can understand the difference a lot of the time, such as the need not to allow one's classmates to bully someone.
lenona
at May 12, 2018 12:50 PM
Back in my day, they told us at orientation, one in three people who started college, actually graduated.
So which option was the herd, and which was the non conformist?
While there is no point in doing the done thing merely because it is the done thing, there is also no point in dropping out without a clear alternative plan in mind.
Follow your dreams was and is, bad advice for many people who dont have the skills and experience to get from A to B, never mind A to D.
Isab
at May 12, 2018 1:43 PM
Rules are structure for people who can’t carve their own path successfully.
Snoopy
at May 12, 2018 3:43 PM
Rules are structure for people who can’t carve their own path successfully.
Snoopy at May 12, 2018 3:43 PM
Rules and norms are what keep human behavior predictable to a degree.
Kick over the traces, and in my interactions with you, I will become less predictable as well. This is not a road most people had the balls to go down. Can lead to big rewards, but more often causes a crash and burn.
Isab
at May 12, 2018 6:28 PM
It isn't useful to be a rebel for no reason. This is like the goth kids or the hippies. No assessment of risk, gain, or principles.
The advice to "be yourself" or "go for your dreams" or rebel are often from those who did this and succeeded. But there are lots and lots of "rebels" who are stuck with their tattoos, didn't get that college degree, have no particular skills, and are not doing well.
A unique type of rebellion that people don't think of is being upright when surrounded by liars and corruption.
Conform or rebel isn't really the choice. Even the so-called rebels conform to their own social group norms. The choice is to which social group norm you conform.
"Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in." ~ Sydney J. Harris
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person." ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Conan the Grammarian at May 12, 2018 9:48 AM
Speaking of conforming OUTSIDE of the workplace...here's what I said a while back.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2016/01/23/bartender_merci.html
(On why "being yourself" can be a bad idea) I wasn't talking about refusing to conform to some high-school clique; I was talking about teens who are just plain unappealing in appearance and behavior to ADULTS as well as to their peers - and for the same reasons. Bad smells, bad language, lack of humility OR a severe lack of confidence, etc.
In other words, there's good conformity and there's bad conformity. Don't confuse them; even a five-year-old can understand the difference a lot of the time, such as the need not to allow one's classmates to bully someone.
lenona at May 12, 2018 12:50 PM
Back in my day, they told us at orientation, one in three people who started college, actually graduated.
So which option was the herd, and which was the non conformist?
While there is no point in doing the done thing merely because it is the done thing, there is also no point in dropping out without a clear alternative plan in mind.
Follow your dreams was and is, bad advice for many people who dont have the skills and experience to get from A to B, never mind A to D.
Isab at May 12, 2018 1:43 PM
Rules are structure for people who can’t carve their own path successfully.
Snoopy at May 12, 2018 3:43 PM
Rules are structure for people who can’t carve their own path successfully.
Snoopy at May 12, 2018 3:43 PM
Rules and norms are what keep human behavior predictable to a degree.
Kick over the traces, and in my interactions with you, I will become less predictable as well. This is not a road most people had the balls to go down. Can lead to big rewards, but more often causes a crash and burn.
Isab at May 12, 2018 6:28 PM
It isn't useful to be a rebel for no reason. This is like the goth kids or the hippies. No assessment of risk, gain, or principles.
The advice to "be yourself" or "go for your dreams" or rebel are often from those who did this and succeeded. But there are lots and lots of "rebels" who are stuck with their tattoos, didn't get that college degree, have no particular skills, and are not doing well.
A unique type of rebellion that people don't think of is being upright when surrounded by liars and corruption.
cc at May 13, 2018 7:36 AM
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