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No More Mr. Nice Guy

I am a divorced man with a lot of female friends. That's the problem -- to women, I'm just this nice guy who will always listen to their problems and give them advice; never their boyfriend. Can you give me some advice to help me change my status?

--Mr. Nice Guy

NO GUY EVER got the girl by convincing her that the animal within him was something along the lines of Papa Smurf. To let women know that you're good for more than an afternoon of warm fuzzies, you need to formally indicate your status as a willing sex object. This is best done by gluing a little hair on your chest and asking them out on dates to dark, romantic bistros. When choosing candidates for romance, forget about your female friends who have spent weeks, months, or years using your shoulder as a substitute for Kleenex. Instead, target less familiar women whose fantasies about you might someday go beyond having you cuddle their brains out. When you're on a date with one of these women, be sure to let her know that you have a physical interest in her. Touch her on the arm for emphasis when you're talking, put your arm around her, and hold her hand to help her into your car. If she doesn't seem to recoil in horror at your touch, kiss her good night and maybe even try for more. Play your cards right, and you could eventually end up having a girlfriend instead of being one.

Copyright ©1998-9, Amy Alkon, from her syndicated column, Ask The Advice Goddess, which appears in 60 papers across the U.S. and Canada. All rights reserved.