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Pleating Insanity

My husband and I are best friends with a fantastic sex life. We often role-play. One weekend, I was dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl skirt, and my husband was dressed as the teacher. My parents have a key, and we didn’t hear them come in. Since this incident they’ve been trying to get us to seek psychological help. Is what we’re doing in any way unhealthy?

--Costume Crisis

You’ll never get in to see a therapist. They’re far too busy saving the marriages of miserable people who never have sex to save those of wacky, happy people with “fantastic” sex lives. If you’d like to do something meaningful for your marriage, iron the pleats in your skirt. Your parents are the ones who really need help -- for being so lacking in imagination that it didn’t occur to them to knock. The fact that they’re so shocked is a sign -- it’s probably high time somebody in their house started dressing up like a mean nun. Should you and “Teach” ever feel something’s missing from your marriage, you might explore how a lot of the “healthy” couples do it: Just dress up in crisp Gap casuals and sit side-by-side in a therapist’s office, silently resenting each other. (Now, that’s kinky.)

Copyright ©2003, Amy Alkon, from her syndicated column, "The Advice Goddess," which appears in over 100 papers across the U.S. and Canada. All rights reserved.