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Not Into Heavy Meddle

I’m the single mother of a 5-year-old girl. My married friends are convinced I should be in a relationship. I’m not interested in a relationship right now. I’m satisfied with my life; I like to spend my rare free time by myself. Repeatedly telling my married friends how I feel doesn’t stop them from fixing me up (like, by inviting “potential husbands” to dinner parties). Someone (I have no idea who) even keeps enrolling me in dating services! I’m requesting your opinion, since mine, obviously, means squat!

--Romantic Charity Case

How sweet that your friends are willing to take breaks from their extramarital affairs, knockdown drag-out fights, and couples’ counseling sessions to help you understand what you’ve been missing. It’s time you showed them exactly how grateful you are. Inform them that the next “potential husband” they seat beside you is going to get an earful -- like, that your friends just want to find some dupe to pay the bills the next time you’re institutionalized. And, if a dating service calls, you’ll shout into the phone, “I hope I don’t KILL...again!” Eventually, your friends may come to appreciate the sacrifice you’re making: Only when they retire from rescuing you from your miserable existence will they have adequate time to focus on their own miserable lives.


Copyright ©2003, Amy Alkon, from her syndicated column, "The Advice Goddess," which appears in over 100 papers across the U.S. and Canada. All rights reserved.