Marnye's Page

Marnye's Page

I still can’t believe I have to talk and write about one of the most full-of-life people I knew in the past tense. Marnye Oppenheim was described by Mike Lacey (exec editor of New Times, in a memo about her tragic and unexpected death today) as a "sparkling talent." And she was. And she was also a sparkling person. A large part of what made her "Bite Me!" column so great was how much sparkling Marnye was in every line. Fearless, loyal, kind, hilarious, kick-ass fun, real, sparkling Marnye. And she was such a good person. There’s nothing Marnye Oppenheim wouldn’t have done for her friends. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s not. Just last week, some twit made fun of her on LAExaminer.com for defending Rick Barrs, now the editor of Phoenix New Times. It’s no surprise that a bunch of people suddenly scrambled out of their warrens to speak up in her behalf. What the twit who dissed Marnye didn’t know is that Marnye would go to war just as fiercely on behalf of any of her "peeps" -- Jill, Denise, me...anyone she cared about. When Marnye left L.A. for Phoenix, I gave her a going-away present of lavender cashmere socks -- specifically because, well, who the hell wears cashmere socks in Phoenix? I told her they were really a "coming back" present, because she’d have to come to LA for it to be cold enough for her to wear them. She was supposed to be coming back at the end of this month, to surprise Denise Hamilton, at Denise's book party. I can’t believe that now she’s never coming back. She was a great person, a great talent, and a great friend, and all of that is a fucking underestimation. A devastating, heartbreaking loss.

Luke Thompson on Marnye:
"She had a mouth on her like nobody's business, commonly addressing friends and foes alike as "Fucking Jackass," but an astute mind behind the attitude. I think in at least one way we were kindred spirits -- she was smart enough to play the intellectual, but would much rather get down and dirty and vulgar." more>>

Luke on the Phoenix memorial service:
"I had been trying to find a song that reminded me of her, on a tear-inducing level. I had tried Britney Spears' "Born to make you happy" which both she and I agreed was an unheralded gem. Nope. But then, as I walked back from the body to read the blow-ups of recent Bite Me columns, I hear Alanis Morrisette asking "How 'bout getting off these antibiotics?...Thank you frailty, thank you disillusionment...How 'bout unabashedly crying your eyes out?" That was it. That was perfect. Niagara Falls. That will be Marnye's song to me." more>>

Cathy Seipp on Marnye (5/15/03 entry): "Marnye...was the opposite of people like Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass. They were talented young journalists who were not nearly as good as they thought they were; Marnye was a talented young journalist who was much better than she thought she was. This is not to say that she was insecure, or suffered from false modesty -- just that she was at the beginning of her career and so worried very much about doing a good job." more>>

LAExaminer.com posts about Marnye (5/15/03): "...marnye was 32 -- she turned 32 in february. marnye was one of the sweetest people i ever knew. bawdy and ballsy and vulgar and tough and funny, but when you got past all that (even as fun as all that was), she was nothing but sweetness." --Dan Reines, who worked with Marnye at New Times Los Angeles more>>

Marnye's book: Had Marnye lived, I know she would have been one of those people we all would have bragged we "knew when." I've pasted in the text of an email I sent Marnye on May 8. The P.S. part is about a book she wanted to write.

Subj: Bite All Of Us?
Date: Thursday, May 8, 2003 5:19:16 PM
From: adviceamy
To: Marnyeoppenheim

Dear Hilarious and Talented One,
You are one of about 15 or so writers I want to link to on my site -- if that's technically possible. Is it possible to have a link to BiteMe? One that renews as BiteMe renews? Love you and miss you, and get your ass here for Denise's party! We'll see that you aren't trampled by your fans. xxMe

PS Will you at least send me the link to the napkin story you told me about? Where you drew the assholes faces on napkins instead of running photos? I hope you know how fucking hilarious you are. You can use your Bite Me columns to get an agent and a book deal. If you wrote TWO chapters and an outline for that book, I'm pretty sure you'd soon be in a position where you're worrying whether people just like you for your money. I'm not just flattering you, either. If you do it, I will help you get an agent. Just sit down and write for two hours on Saturday. Just start, like that book said. You are very fucking talented, and you just need to get your ass in the chair so people can read you. Okay, I'm done being a nagging bitch, but you know it's only because I care.

Text from the program from Marnye’s memorial service in Scottsdale, AZ, Monday, May 19, 2003, written by Rick Barrs

Marnye was the best person her family and friends ever knew. She was sweet, kind and smart as a whip. And that sense of humor...it was just the absolute best in the world. She made everybody around her laugh. It was always baffling that somebody who was so beautiful and had such an amazing spirit could endure so many tragic health problems. Marnye lived for only 32 years, three months and five days. It was not enough; oh God, we need more years with her! Yet this dear heart packed more energy and good will into that short span than most of us will in twice the lifetime. She thoroughly enjoyed herself here. While it is hugely unfair that she is no longer with us physically - that we will never again hear her happy voice, much less read new examples of her amazing writing - we must all remember that she would be so very happy to see this assembly of loved ones from all corners of her life together in this room. And even happier to see all of us together in the bar afterward, downing Patron shots in her honor. Marnye Kaye Oppenheim was unique, a shooting star, the absolute best of us. Marnye, we will love you always! You will forever be alive and sparkling in the hearts of your “peeps”.

An email from Marnye's godparent, Bill Chaddock follows. I'm sort of embarrassed to print the thank you part to me, because this page is the least I can do, and not a big deal at all. If anyone wants to send anything or suggest anything (as per below), you can email me at adviceamy@aol.com, and I'll forward to Bill right away. (I omitted his email address below to prevent spammers from harvesting it.)

From Bill Chaddock: I just wanted to write and thank you for setting up "Marnye's Page" and the links to other sites where we could read about Marnye. Words cannot express what a comfort it has been for Carol and I and Marnye's family here in Michigan to read all the tributes that have been written about someone we loved so much.

Marnye's father Paul has also been reading the tributes and he has asked Carol and I to print them out before we leave tomorrow for Fowlerville and put them in an envelope so they can be buried with Marnye. We will also put "Marnye's Page" in the envelope. If there is anything else you think we should include please let me know.

Thanks for all you have done,
Bill Chaddock

From Amy to Bill: Thanks -- that means a lot. I loved Marnye deeply, as did so many people, and it's important to me that she lives on. I learned a lot from her spirit, and I feel responsible (as maybe some of her other friends do) to act "a little more Marnye" now that she's not on the planet any more, so as to try to fill in the vast gap. By that, I mean, remembering in my own actions, day to day, how she treated everybody with such kindness -- didn't matter if you were the janitor or the movie star -- how she'd be at a party and see somebody look in walking lost and go rescue them immediately -- and how she lived every moment to the fullest. At least she didn't waste what time she had on the planet. --Amy

An email from Denise Hamilton, investigative reporter and multiple award-nominated novelist, (and friend Marnye was very proud of):

As a New Times L.A. contributor who worked from home, I first knew Maryne as a cheerful voice on the phone. She forwarded my mail, sent me NT stationery so I could write official letters and kept me apprised of parties. In many ways she was my lifeline to the place, making me feel connected to a newsroom I only visited when I had a story to pitch.

Being office manager for an alternative weekly has got to be a pretty thankless job, but Maryne did it with grace and aplomb. For her, I must have been just one more reporter with a request, but she was always warm and efficient. You could tell she was way too smart for the job. But then it wasn’t just a job for her. She cared. And if she promised you something, she delivered.

While I never knew her as well as some, I saw Maryne as the great beating heart of the New Times LA tribe, a group bound together by a passion for journalism, a snarky and wiseass attitude and a take no prisoners approach. I loved being a part of New Times, and I always told Susan Goldsmith that we were living through a golden age in L.A. journalism. And Maryne was at the center of that, the emotional glue that held the place together. Her enthusiasm was contagious.

When I was in Phoenix last month on a book tour, I was touched and surprised when she showed up at my reading. She had invited me to stay with her but unfortunately I never got the message and made other plans. But we agreed I’d crash with her the next time I blew through town, and I was looking forward to getting to know her better.

What is most amazing to me, in retrospect, is how Maryne never whined about her health problems. Instead, she’d deftly turn the conversation to other people’s accomplishments. When I asked about her black eye last month, she told me she had suffered a seizure but that she was fine now. Then she immediately turned the conversation to how bravely another reporter we knew had dealt with a health problem.

Like many others, I was an avid reader of “Bite Me.” I loved Maryne’s wicked sense of humor and her skewering of pompous characters. Each of her columns read like flash fiction, funny and surreal and weird. She had an amazing way of sizing people up, piercing their armor. I often read them for inspiration in my own novels and even put one of her favorite expressions, “stellar,” in the mouth of one of my teen characters. “Bite Me” launched her, but Maryne could have written anything and it’s the world’s loss that we’ll never see that novel she talked about. Just think of what she could have dished up with a Maryne-esque heroine sashaying through life.

Denise Hamilton

Journalist Kate Sullivan on Marnye -- Marnye had "snazz": "When (Marnye) asked who I wrote for and I answered, she said, 'Oh, you're fancy.' I knew exactly what she meant by this, and it was both a slight diss and a compliment, but mostly it was just the best use of the best word that no one ever uses anymore. Every time I use 'fancy,' which is a lot, I am copying Marnye."

Dear Amy,

I recently came across your page dedicated to Marnye Oppenheim and thought it was terrific. I never met Marnye, but she was a big inspiration to me in a very dark time in my life: back when I was homeless.

I was a successful TV writer, and then through some events, I lost everything and was literally living in my car. I couldn't afford anything for entertainment, but always enjoyed the New Times where I discovered "Bite Me."

Besides cheering me up, Marney's columns really gave me the confidence to say "I can do this," and indeed I did. I landed a department editor job at a major magazine with absolutely no print experience, just based on my writing samples.

That job got lterally lifted me off the streets and into a nice apartment in Brentwood.
I also created a web site to help others who might find themsleves in that same situation:

http://ihatemylife.us

Marnye was a real inspiration to me
If you ever in contact with any of Marnye's relatives (I think I saw her step dad mentioned on your site, feel free to forward this e-mail.

She was a brilliant writer and a life saver.