Several years ago I was on a transatlantic, 11 hour flight. I was on the aisle seat, and an older lady and her husband were next to me. They had so many bags stuffed under their seats that the man had to put his feet in his wife's area, and she shoved her feet into my foot area, which had my feet and my one modest bag. When I pointed out to her that she was invading my space, she pointed to the bags and said she had no choice. Of course she had a choice! Everyone knows how many bags and how much space you have allowed to you on a flight. So for 11 hours I had to stick my feet out into the aisle and move them out of the way when people went by.

BTW, she was skinny. So it's not just fat people who "ooze into your space like Germany invading Poland."

Posted by: DragonHawk at August 31, 2010 5:39 PM

Sunday night I flew from Boston -> Oakland on business. I was in the TSA security line when the X-ray machine for our line failed. I was at that point second in line. I picked up my trays, walked around to the new one that was open.

A young lady behind me in line had ducked under the tables as quickly as possible, and almost shoved me as she came out from under the table to get in front of me. Stay classy!

Posted by: gavin at August 31, 2010 6:06 PM

I had a guy on crutches behind me in line at McCarran once who got totally pissed off that the x-ray line wasn't moving fast enough. The guy in front of me got stopped to be wanded, and Mr. Crutches kept trying to shove my stuff forward through the machine.

Hey buddy? First of all, moving my stuff forward isn't going to make the line go any faster, and I'd rather not have my laptop down at the end of the conveyor while I'm way the hell up here.

Second of all, standing behind me being all huffy and sighing loudly to yourself is also not going to move things along either. STFU before I take one of your crutches and beat you to death with it.

Posted by: Ann at August 31, 2010 7:16 PM

Nothing is worse on a long flight than the ridiculous amount of in-flight instruction transmitted by the flight crew. I get that some of this is safety information and mandated by law, but I see no reason for the Captain to tell us any of the following: a) cruising altitude, b) names of the flight attendants, or c) natural landmarks visible from the sky. And its always at the beginning of a flight, when its otherwise easiest to fall asleep.

And I especially hate the public announcement of a flight attendant's birthday, anniversary, or other personal noteworthy event. I've never had a bus driver or subway engineer tell me they just got engaged. Why would you?

Flight crew, please stick to the script.

Posted by: snakeman99 at August 31, 2010 11:29 PM

Hey! You! In the aisle. You're jamming up a line of people clear back to the gate in your desperate quest for a precious pillow in the overhead bin.

Move into your seat area and let people get by.

Oh, and when they're announcing they're boarding rows at the rear of the plane first? That's not Row Six, mkay?

Also, that tray attached to the back of my seat? It'll fit back into place just fine. No need to give me whiplash while slamming it.

Posted by: jimg at September 1, 2010 3:38 AM

I understand that need to be released from the confinement of the economy class space, but what do people accomplish by pouring into the aisle the minute the jet comes to rest? I was on one flight that was EPIC late -- just about everyone had missed their connection, but I still had 5 minutes to catch mine. In spite of the instructions and pleas of the air crew to stay in their seats and let those of us who still had a flight to catch get out, people still poured into the aisle and blocked my way. I had to resort to shoving through and shouting "Coming through! Please excuse me!! I gotta catch my flight!!" I still can't believe how physical and rude I had to get just to disembark -- it was a nightmare!

Posted by: broncochar at September 1, 2010 5:55 PM

I'd like to give a swift kick in the pants to the people who stow their luggage in an overhead bin way in front of their actual seat. My last flight, I was in the exit row, which being the first row in that section of course has no under seat space. The overhead bin was already jammed full when I got on. They put my bag in another section for me, which was inconvenient.I was glad it was just a 3-hour flight and not one between Japan and the US.

BTW, HOW do those people with huge rolling bags get past security? They are obviously over the size limit! Or people with three carry-ons each? The TSA can bully my mother and take away a jar of jam but they can't enforce carry on size??

Posted by: crella at September 2, 2010 12:56 AM

'My last US domestic flight'...sorry, I obviously flew after that to get back to Kobe... :-(

Posted by: crella at September 2, 2010 12:57 AM

On a flight last year, I had an aisle seat. I had my laptop out, doing work, like I usually am on business flights. My aisle-mate asked me to let him by so he could get to the bathroom. I had to pick up my laptop and move out into the aisle for a moment to let him out.

As I stepped into the aisle, an impatient guy came up and forced his way in between me and the seat. And as he did so, he knocked my laptop out of my hands. It fell on the floor. When I picked it back up, the hard disk had crashed. I lost the work that I had done that day, and another day getting a new drive installed and restoring everything from backups.

Posted by: Cousin Dave at September 2, 2010 2:01 AM

Why do I always sit behind the person who doesn't understand that a "touch screen display" isn't a "poke really really hard over and over again all during the 10 hour overseas flight."

Posted by: Lesley at September 2, 2010 6:08 PM

The worst flight I ever had was from Dallas back home to Vancouver. I was seated in the middle of the plane, on the left side. There were 3 seats in my row section and I was in the window one.

For a long time no one sat in either of the seats beside me. Then a large man ... a VERY large man stopped in my aisle and plunked himself down in the aisle seat. I was thankful to not be directly beside him for his girth clearly took up about 1.5 seats. But I was foolish to think I had escaped unscathed.

We started talking before the plane took off and he told me he was originally from Montreal but had been living in Vancouver for several years. He then added that he found Vancouverites to be very unfriendly.

As the flight progressed I quickly discovered that he wasn't interested in a "conversation" but simply enjoyed hearing himself talk. So I told him I was tired and proceeded to put headphones over my ears. About this time the in-flight movie began. To my astonishment, even though my eyes were closed and my head was leaning towards the window, he kept poking me in the shoulder to add his own "insightful" commentary to the film. Eventually I just turned my back to him and he got the idea.

The worst part of all though was the smell! This man clearly didn't use any deodorant and to this day I'll never forget the sweetly-sour stench that emanated from him.

A worse flight I've never had!

Posted by: Robert W. (Vancouver) at September 3, 2010 5:50 PM

Wow.

If someone were to poke me in the shoulder like that, I'd have given him the patented Frosty Stare of Death and said, "Don't ever touch me again. Ever."

And then he could have written me off as yet another unfriendly Vancouverite, which would have been fine with me.

Posted by: Steve Daniels at September 4, 2010 6:05 PM

The thing I don't understand these days is "lap children". Apparently there's a policy in place that lets you fly with an unbuckled child under 18 months old on your lap, no matter how big the kid is or how long the flight is. This essentially means that there are two people in one seat.

Last flight I was on, I had the misfortune of being seated next to one of these. The kid, who could have easily passed for a 4 year old in size, climbed all over me, squirming and knocking toys and food around, and PULLED ON MY HAIR. No help from his father, and to top it off he had a whole bag of toys that make annoying sing-song noises. Ugh. One middle seat is simply not enough room for an adult and a child.

Posted by: Sarah at September 5, 2010 6:11 AM

Also, it doesn't happen that often, but it happens: Planes take a dive and people and objects go flying for the ceiling. Nobody can hang onto a child in those circumstances. And your child shouldn't die or have brain damage because you're cheap.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at September 5, 2010 7:38 AM

I witnessed this last Thursday (9/2/10) on my 6:00 flight from Atlanta to Cincinatti.

Gate attendants make the initial boarding call - for anyone needing assistance with boarding. Before the announcement is complete, the passengers flying elite status and first class have lined up, expecting to board first.

Not One Single Person moved aside to let the passengers with wheelchairs or strollers through. Those non-elite passengers had to go around the people lined up and waiting to board at their announced time.

And the gate agents, Delta Airlines, BTW, did absolutely nothing.

Posted by: Dorris at September 7, 2010 9:34 PM

People who put their seats back all the way on short or day flights. Fine, if it's 11pm. Not fine during the day without checking whether the person behind you is using their tray table.

Posted by: Mike at September 8, 2010 1:08 AM

I hear you, Mike, but I just flew from MN to RI and had to put my seat back on both flights. I have back problems. If it makes you feel any better, I felt pretty guilty about it.

Posted by: Kimmy at September 8, 2010 4:12 PM

I know I'm slow adding to these threads, but I'm doing them when I have breaks in the day - I think they're all awesome and horrific at once.

Regarding rudeness at airports - this one is a TSA story that I may have shared on previous blog entries, I can't remember.

In 2006, my father, with whom I am very close, ended up in the hospital with massive heart failure. He was 53 at the time, and it was completely unexpected. A result of years of high-maintenance lifestyle, yes, but seemingly out of the blue nonetheless.

I was completely numb with grief when I arrived at the Lubbock, Texas airport to fly to San Antonio, where Dad was in intensive care. As I went through "security" the "officer" (I put all this in quotes to illustrate my utter disdain of the entire charade) told me I had to undergo a strip search and demanded I disrobe immediately. Well, guess what? I'm not modest, and all I could think about was my Dad and whether I'd get to see him alive again. So without even thinking, I complied. Took all my clothes off except my underoos in the middle of the damned airport. The "officer" didn't offer me a room or anything, and I was too stupid and sad to ask.

Later that same year, TSA settled a huge class action lawsuit for the Lubbock airport. Apparently I wasn't the only one who received such treatment, and someone was smart enough to do something about it. The entire staff of TSA at the airport was fired.

Posted by: Jessica F. at September 14, 2010 12:27 AM

This past spring break, my sister and I were able to go on a trip of a lifetime with our high school to Europe. We needed to take two flights. I must say, the second, 9 hour flight on the way home wasn't so pleasant. The two of us sat in front a mother and her little daughter who didn't speak english. Okay, so the first few times the cute little bugger kicked my sister's chair, is was cute. The rest of the time during the 9 hour flight? Not so pleasant. The little girl was kicking so hard that I could even feel it against my chair, and it wasn't even my chair she kicked! I mean, we clearly were unhappy about it. We kept on looking back and this evil child would just smile at us and laugh while the mom laughed with her. I'm not one to judge parenting since I'm normally very tolerant of little kids and I'm still pretty young, but this was clearly bad parenting. The little girl did a numerous of other things, including throwing food, that annoyed us. And we couldn't tell them off because they didn't speak English! Plus, the fact that we were mere "teenagers" didn't help the cause! It was really annoying. And honestly, if we were to argue with this foreign speaker lady, who would take our sides? We were a bunch of sixteen year olds. Just because we were young did not mean we deserved to be mistreated.

Posted by: A-mere-teenager at October 23, 2010 7:23 PM

Sarah wrote on September 5 about “lap children.”

The last flight I was on was over-sold and because of my previous connecting flight I did not make it to the terminal with much time to spare. As a result, my fiancé and I would not be finding two seats together. Luckily at the back of the plane we found two aisle seats only 2 rows apart. I sat down next to a woman who was carrying her infant in her lap. Next to her was her husband who was holding their 2 yr old in his lap. Obviously sharing a row with a family of four was not going to be a fun flight for me.

To my surprise the flight attendant came over and explained to us that there were only 4 oxygen masks for each row (of three chairs), and the mother & baby or father & daughter were going to have to move to another seat. Both adults just looked at me until I stood up and walked to the opposite end of the plane.

So this “family” saves money by flying both kids in their laps, but still takes up a seat because of the oxygen mask limitation. I was happy it was a short flight.

Posted by: Miranda at November 30, 2010 5:14 PM

Pet peeves:
(1) the SOBs who take up overhead storage space for their small laptop bag and jacket, ignoring the flight attendants' clear instructions that it's a full flight, please stow smaller items under your seat, hang onto your coat, & leave room for rollaboards... like mine, which I will now have to climb back 20 rows to retrieve, after paying primo to sit up front in the hopes of making my tight connection
(2) The idiots who design men's room stall doors to open into the stall, not out. Did it never occur to them that some people at the airport have rollaboard luggage with them?

Posted by: Mr. Teflon at March 15, 2011 6:22 PM

Now that we can pay a nominal fee for WI-FI on most airlines, I was privy to the guy sitting next to me with his I-PAD looking to use the face-time application! Nothing like listening to the guy holding his i-PAD up to his face and yelling "can you hear me now?????" incessantly for the next 3 hours!

Posted by: moneyplays at September 7, 2011 7:55 AM

Given that the airlines give you so little space that when the flight is full (and these days, it's always full), your seat neighbor and you are in each other's pockets, let's all try not to exacerbate the forced invasion of one another's personal space.

By, say, carrying a little paper cup on board with you and SPITTING YOUR TOBACCO JUICE INTO IT EVERY TEN MINUTES FOR THREE HOURS.

Mmkay?

Posted by: Beth at February 28, 2012 10:05 PM