Family Gatherings
Blood relatives can be the source of some bloody battles, or at least some very miserable Thanksgiving dinners. Let lose about your relatives or others' who come up short in the manners department, and tell me your family get-together horror stories.
Comments
When I was taking care of my mother in her final days, my nephew (my brother's son) was staying over for a few weeks. My sister paid him money to spy on me because she was convinced I was trying to steal her inheritance. So the kid would listen in on every phone and personal convo and make a general nuisance of himself. It also ruined my relationship with him. We had been very close. She also broke into our parents' filing cabinet to steal their important papers (will, house deed, etc.). Fortunately, my mother had an idea this would happen and had already told me to take all that stuff.
During my mother's illness, my sister would call me and scream and curse at me for random things, like when I refused to cancel my moving plans to hang out with Dad after she had already agreed to watch him, or because mom's abscess smelled. (Turns out, death stinks.) She was perfectly nice to my husband, and it got so bad that he had to be the intermediary, especially after she assaulted me next to my mother's death bed, beat my head against a wall and tried to drag me down the stairs.
My brother threatened to kill my husband, broke a bunch of my parents' knickknacks in a fit of rage, racked up thousands of dollars in charges on the credit card he stole from my father, and stole most of my father's jewelry and whatever old photos and recipes he could cram into his suitcase.
Posted by: MonicaP at September 1, 2010 4:04 PM
Holy crap, Monica! I thought my sister was bad. Well, she is, but a little differently. When my mother died, this sister bugged my other, older sister about whether she'd paid our step-dad back for money he'd given for flowers. This was at the church, before the funeral service.
My older sister had to control her urge to deck her.
I had known for years that the youngest one had "issues" but everybody thought I was just jealous because she had replaced me as the baby of the family, and on the surface she was the perfect one.
After I moved to a new state, it was perversely gratifying to hear, over the years, how she managed to show her true personality to everyone in the family. Much crow was eaten, but not by me!
Posted by: Pricklypear at September 1, 2010 9:58 PM
My Mom died after a long fight with cancer, through which I'd taken care of her, when I was 20. The day she died my 35 year old brother broke the news to me that I was adopted, and didn't really count as family.
I looked at him and said, "Thank God I'm not really related to you." One of my proudest thinking-on-my-feet moments.
Posted by: Kimberly at September 2, 2010 9:04 PM
My MIL called us on a sunny Sunday and suggested a barbeque. Oh yeah, and it was going to be at our house. And we were supposed to make most of the food, she would bring a side dish. And she was going to bring three people with her. She would be at our house in three hours.
Gritting my teeth, I agreed. I went to the store to get enough food to feed everyone and rushed home to get everything prepared. Then we waited. The appointed hour had long since passed, and my stepson was hungry. We sat down and ate, as I could not see starving an 11 yr old because his grandmother could not apparently read a clock.
She showed up 2.5 hours late with a bowl of corn. She whined for almost an hour about the fact that we had already eaten, implying how rude we were not to wait for the rest of our guests. BTW, she has a cell phone that she didn't feel the need to use or answer during our wait.
Oh yeah, and when she came over for Thanksgiving dinner, she was there for all of 10 minutes before telling me that I'd made everything wrong. In other words, not the way she makes thing. I could have kissed my brother-in-law when we sat down to eat and he told his mom that she'd better take notes, because everything was way better than anything she's ever made. I smiled politely, but did a happy dance in my head...
Posted by: Renee at September 3, 2010 2:28 PM
Renee, you have the best brother-in-law ever!
Posted by: Ingrid at September 3, 2010 6:35 PM
A potential category for exploring rudeness is privacy.
I couldn't actually find the "miscellaneous" category but these ones are family related. As in , the person that posts private information about their family members on facebook (while also not implementing privacy features). Or posts unflattering pix. Or tags a photo in such a way that name and hometown are revealed to all.
Or how about the family member that doesn't respect closed doors and just walks right into a private area without being invited? Or peers into windows of cars to see what is left on the seats/floors? My mom does these. She does not live with us but when she comes to visit she snoops everywhere.
Grrr.
Posted by: LauraGr at September 3, 2010 9:42 PM
At every family function, my husband's mother & grandmother take gleeful joy in asking us when we will have kids. His mother already has grandchildren from his sisters, so I don't understand the further need to push the issue with us.
Once, his grandmother went so far as to put her hand on my belly and tell me that I wasn't a real woman until I experienced "what it felt like to have life grow inside me."
Posted by: Jen Wading at September 4, 2010 10:41 AM
I was rude to myself. It's relevant to the story to say I'm Jewish.
I went to California on vacation. Did clothes shopping on Hollywood Blvd. Saw a nice black shirt with black and white buttons on the rack and bought it.
A few months later my aunt had a family reunion party. I wore the shirt. Sitting down on the couch I took a closer look at the buttons. The buttons were white with a black design. I took a closer look at the design. It was a big +. It looked a lot like the German Iron Cross. There was a design around it. I looked closer. They were letters. "Third Reich".
My heart skipped. I went to my family reunion wearing a Nazi shirt.
Posted by: hadsil at September 4, 2010 7:59 PM
Oh wow, just thought of a good one.
When my husband died, his family came from out of state for the funeral. His two sisters walked in the door of my apartment and proceeded to go through my cupboards, closets, etc. without permission, as if they lived there and had every right to do so. I literally had to lock up my wedding pictures and our personal belongings in my desk so they could not take them (and I was right to do so, because they had the nerve to ask my mother why I had locked my desk while I was at the funeral home, PLANNING THE FUNERAL.
I could go on and on about the rudeness of these people, but let's just say I'm glad they're 1200 miles away and I haven't talked to any of them in 10 or 12 years.
Posted by: Ann at September 4, 2010 8:17 PM
I am a teacher who worked for several years in the "underprivileged' and very diverse school in a mostly upper-middle class suburban school district. The staff taught extra classes, did community work, and provided every resource we could for the struggling families. We served many recent immigrants from all over the world as well as a group of formerly inner-city families on state aid. We pulled together and gave it our all, trying to keep up academically with the rest of the district. My StepMIL, whose children attended the school, would send in the most horrible rants on every parent-response form, about the principal, the administration, the teachers, and how it had become the "garbage pit" of the district. It was beyond humiliating.
When she came to see our new house after we moved, she sat on my couch and told me that I was insane for not supporting unrestricted abortion because I was a teacher. She said if I was smart I didn't want to have any of "those crack babies and wetbacks" in my classroom, and that they should have never been allowed to live.
Posted by: kbaann at September 9, 2010 2:06 AM
I've got two short ones for ya:
1)My uncle spending all of Thanksgiving dinner telling me I'm going to have nothing but miscarriages if and when I try to get pregnant because I'm a vegetarian.
2)My sister-in-law deciding that the best time to tell me she's been holding a grudge against me for five years was in the middle of a bar at my sister's bachelorette party. Even though I was the maid of honor and planned the whole thing, she literally pulled me away from my sister's side and proceeded to rant at me for 45 minutes. Oh, and the grudge was because I didn't "reach out to her" when her and my brother were having marital problems - even though I was living abroad at the time and neither she nor my brother told me about said problems. (I had to find out several months later from my sister.)
Posted by: Rozzy at September 15, 2010 9:30 PM
Recently my Nephew got married. I was taking pictures at the reception and followed a bunch of the younger adults out to watch them "decorate" my nephew's car. His car used to be mine and I had given it to him.
I went back inside the church and started showing my family the pictures of the car. My Dad said "Are you sad that your car is getting married before you?"
Posted by: Joyce T at October 13, 2010 11:07 PM
What do you do when your mom blocks you on facebook for the second time?
A dear friend has pointed out this web site.
Thank you for letting me vent Amy.
Posted by: Kassondra Golden at October 23, 2010 3:32 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about that, Kassondra. Can you post more detail -- why she's doing this, or why you think she might be doing this?
Posted by: Amy Alkon at October 23, 2010 6:01 AM
Well, I'm very new to this...pc's, posting.
My mother is a cruel, evil, manipulative woman.
That's why she has blocked me on fb.
I don't feel safe there. She is connected to all my family and friends, only 14 people on fb.
Can she still see my posts through other family
members? I don't have any other way to keep in touch with them easily. I live on an island.
How do I make new friends on fb with people I don't know?
Thank you for your advice and attention.
Posted by: Kassondra at October 24, 2010 1:29 AM
You need to look at your privacy settings and set them on the highest level. I'm so sorry about your mother. Family are people who act like family, not simply blood relatives. I suggest trying to create family out of unrelated people in your life (over time).
Posted by: Amy Alkon at October 24, 2010 4:15 PM
My MIL has a long history of being extremely rude and cruel, but recently she outdid herself. I am 30, and I have two brothers who are both almost a decade younger than I am. Our dad was already dead when our mom (the nicest person ever-for real) was placed in hospice and given a few months to live. My MIL is super possessive of the grandkids, and when she got the news she made the exited and happy statement: "I guess I'm just going to be the last grandma standing!" A couple of days after my mom actually passed away, my MIL called my husband and told him that I needed to call her to discuss our relationship. And then she said that she knew I probably wouldn't be willing to do that, and then said: "Well good for her. Let her get colon cancer then!" in a very mean voice. Guess what just killed my mom a few days before and left her on her deathbed weighing about 70 pounds. Yes, colon cancer.
Posted by: Emily Oriel at March 11, 2011 9:19 PM
My MIL--a lovely woman, most of the time--used to snoop through our things when she'd come to visit. I got fed up, downloaded and printed advice on best techniques for blowjobs, and stuck it in my dresser drawer.
I could tell she'd read it when I came home from work one day and she couldn't look me in the eye. She was lucky. I'd originally planned on buying some really nasty sex toy and putting it in the dresser, but was short on cash that week.
Posted by: Amy at August 5, 2012 7:04 AM
I would have set up some sort of pressure bomb to blow cyanne pepper into her face
Posted by: lujlp at October 27, 2012 11:55 AM
My grandfather is 90, appears to be 65, and has always been rude. At Christmas three years ago, we were at my mother's house for a buffet dinner. There were over 20 people present. We all lined up to serve ourselved, and I was 4th or 5th in line because I'd been helping cook and I was hungry. My grandfather walked up to me, snatched the plate out of my hand, announced to the room at large that as fat as I was, he better make sure I was at the end of the buffet line or no one would get any food. Then he walked to the end of the line chuckling at his own "wittiness".
I was suprised momentarily by his actions. Then I followed him to the end of the line and when he turned around I grabbed my plate back and then kicked him in the shin as hard as I could. (Yes, I am in my 40s and acted like a child.) Fortunately for him I had taken of the pointy, spiked heels and was barefoot. In the coldest voice I could muster, I told him "I hope that hurts; I hope you have a big bruise and as long as that bruise lasts you better remember not to f**k with me like that again!"
I marched back up to my place in line behind me 19 year old son (whose eyes were as big as salad plates at what I did). My grandfather called out "Whatever happened to respecting your elders?! Joyce (my mom), you need to talk to your daughter!" She told him "Dad, if your mother or mine (both deceased) had seen you do and say what you just did, you would have had more than your shin kicked. You got what you deserved."
I love my mom!
Posted by: Keliandra at November 30, 2012 10:49 PM
This is going to be long because this woman royally tried to screw me on my wedding day.
When my husband and I were planning our wedding my MIL constantly tried to control everything. She was not giving us a dime to go towards it, my husband and I and MY parents were paying for everything.
After I had ordered my invitations, some decorations and the centerpieces she constantly complained at me that my colors were not appropriate for a wedding (sage green and ivory). She ended up calling the shop and tried to change the order colors to white and pink. Thankfully the shop emailed me to confirm the change.
She showed up wearing this short, flashy gold sequined cocktail dress. NOT appropriate for a wedding. I assume to try and make sure she was getting attention.
About 20 minutes before the ceremony I was in the dressing room trying to avoid messing up my hairstyle and makeup with my bridesmaids. She came in the room to check on things. Then proceeded to tell me I should have bought a different dress because the one I had made my rear look huge. Then, said I had a hair out of place and actually began removing these small crystals the stylist had put in my hair. I couldn't see what she was doing but one of my BM's stepped up an said "Oh My god what are you doing? stop!" She'd ruined 1/2 my hairdo that had taken over an hour for the stylist to do. She burst into tears sobbing that she was just trying to help and everyone was always yelling at her. She made sure to run out of the room crying so everyone would see how "bridezilla" had treated her. My MOH and BM were able to sort of put it back together and look decent. I was 20 minutes late walking down the aisle. My husband tells me he was in panic mode waiting up there haha.
People tell me she chatted loudly with her sister all through the procession. When I came out to walk down the aisle she began again to wail and sob. even went so far as to say "Oh my baby! Oh my baby boy!" It was painfully embarrassing for everyone that was there.
Three weeks before the wedding she had found out one of the dishes I was having at the wedding (MY mother's favorite dish) was made with fish and she demanded it be taken off the menu because she was "allergic to seafood." No one else in the family had ever heard that she was allergic and in fact I recall her eating fish foods a few times and being fine. When I told her no, she said she couldn't come then for fear of her health. I said ok, see you after then. She dropped the subject. Then AT my wedding while my MOH was giving her speech my MIL began coughing and grabbing at her throat. She was faking an allergic reaction. When a cousin offered to take her to the hospital she LOUDLY refused to go because she wasn't going to miss her baby's wedding simply because the bride didn't care about the health of EVERYONE.
An hour before the cake cutting I noticed that many of the kids at the kid's table were eating cake. I thought that was strange and went to check on my beautiful $600 4 tier cake and found giant chunks cut out all around it. I just sat in the kitchen and cried until my new husband found me. MIL sat there quietly while we asked who had served the kids. When I asked my husband's 4 year old nephew he said "Nonny gave me cake." She denies it to this day.
During the reception, if MIL found any unattended wedding favors on the tables she snatched them. She also made sure the MOMENT the reception was over to run around grabbing the centerpieces and having her eldest son (34 years old, still lives with her) carry them out to her van. My mother and grandma later told me that when they asked her if they could have a few of the centerpieces she told them first come, first served. What the Hell she wanted with 17 wedding centerpieces is beyond my understanding.
Oh, and she tried to invite herself along on our HONEYMOON. (happened many weeks before the wedding) She reserved herself a room at the same hotel we were staying at. With a lot of threats from my future hubby she finally canceled.
Evil witch
Posted by: Betty Marie at December 7, 2012 4:59 PM
Ouch Betty! What a horrible woman! It's good that your new husband realizes what a nut job his mother is and backs you up.
Posted by: Keliandra at December 7, 2012 5:11 PM
The last time was at Father Days some years ago. My second oldest brother kept arguing about government being so useless when it could be useful if we had better leadership that did not cater to corporations and rich people. He would not give an inch to see my point of view. I felt like walking out of my parents' house and never wanting to come home again. Well, to this very day, I don't see my brothers nor my parents anymore because for years, they would always give their opinions but then tried to shut me down from giving my opinions.
Posted by: Gunther at July 9, 2013 3:32 AM
Nothing says family love more than filing a report with adult protective services! My niece decided to do so against me, claiming that I was not taking care of my mother, an odd claim since in the two years I had been tending to her, she had not once ever come over to the house for a visit! Thankfully, the case worker apologized and found no basis to her claim!
Fast forward several years later as my mother was unconscious in the hospital, nearing the end of her life. The first day was tolerable with the siblings but by the second day, it was bad! I had to go back to my parents house and make sure the door to their bedroom was locked as well as mine since my oldest sister had no concept of what privacy meant. My nephew later told me she had threatened to kick in the doors just to get in!
Moments before my mom died, a family member asked if there was going to be someone going home with my dad so he wouldn't be alone. I said not to worry since I would be with him. My idiot older brother made an inappropriate remark about another brother, who wasn't there, something to do with him being back at my dad's house with his lover! Really? I calmly told him it was not the time or place to start with snarky comments. He responded with "who are you to tell me what I can and cannot say? You make me sick, you're disgusting, you're a douche bag!"
I momentarily lost my head and told him he was one to talk since he was a pervert. Of course, I was a bit more colorful than that. After regaining my senses, I said I was going to leave and he responded with "good, goodbye". Seeing as how he had molested me as a little girl, I think I was rather tame! But I felt horrible that I behaved that way and stooped to his level at such a horrendous time!
Posted by: Eli B at August 26, 2013 5:19 AM
My little brother loves to get the family's attention by gossiping about celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, to name a couple and he goes on and on about gossip in a sexual way. I've told him that I'm not going to waste my time listening to him talk about celebs all day and he makes sexual comments and says "I can gossip all day if I wanna."
To me, people who have nothing better to do than gossip sexually have a serious problem.............
Posted by: Fed Up at January 2, 2014 7:15 PM
There is not a category for sports; however, my little brother's treatment of me after his team won fits under this category.
His college team won their game in a Cinderella fashion and rather than congratulate my team for not only giving it their all, but setting a record, he is mean towards me. He cursed me out, made fun of me, called me nasty names, and could not keep his body to himself. This is the worst sportsmanship I have ever seen and what goes around comes around when his team loses next time.
Posted by: Sports Fan at January 25, 2014 7:29 AM
I was standing at the checkout at a Harley Davidson store waiting for my husband to pay & my sister-in-law (who I am not close to at all for reasons that are self-evident) standing next to me asked me if my back hurt because my boobs are so big.
I wanted to say is your head light since there's nothing in it, but between shock & etiquette I just mumbled no & walked off.
She has provided me with several priceless stories just like that one.
Posted by: Ruthie at May 19, 2014 9:48 PM
Ah yes, the ol' family gatherings.
My SIL is a nutbag attention-whore, as well as a control freak. She was always 'involved' in my wife's (and everyone elses') private affairs. She literally would spy on her own husband anytime he was out of her line of vision. He never did anything wrong that I know of.
That same person phoned an anonymous tip to CPS many years ago, and she made it appear to be another relative. I'm sure she got some sick pleasure knowing that it would 'stir the pot'. It didn't go anywhere, as she is so full of sh1t.
I could go on and on about her, but that just brings up old pains I'd rather forget.
At least I see that others have had just as bad and some worse experiences, and were kind enough to share.
Posted by: someone else at August 5, 2014 8:37 PM
My Mom and Dad are in their 80's. I have two sister one older and one younger. I was made PA for medical and my Dad and Mom didn't like how I asked questions of the Doctors about their treatment and drugs (Mom was being overdosed on prescriptions after three major surgeries). My Sister and Niece said they were taking over everything and Mom and Dad did it. I was deeply hurt but keep on trying to help with whatever I can do for Mom and Dad. We are a very close family but they keep excluding me and making choices without my knowledge. My niece now controls my Mom's meds and she is not doing well. They don't respond to my text messages or phone calls, but when they need furniture moved they call and are so nice. If they need anything, they call me. I am hurt by their rudeness and callous nature towards me. They say I am overly sensitive, I say they are rude. My husband is now my voice cause I can't take anymore heartache. I know what will happen in the future. They are setting me up to be the person who didn't contribute to Mom and Dad's needs. I am at a loss for the reason they are so ugly to me. Thanks for listening I think I figured out the problem while typing this. They have nothing in their life and I have it all. Shame on them.
Posted by: Hopeless at April 29, 2016 5:16 PM
all these horrible death/greed/control stories really makes me cringe, but mine is no better. my SIL probably stole all my mom's jewelry, although she denies it but does not want us to put in a police report. we are talking about real diamonds, jade, 20 mm pearls in diamonds, etc. my brother is a control freak, screamer, and whiner, in general and about the estate. sadly, although some of us loved my mother until she was 65, she became a Christian and delighted in telling us that SHE is going to heaven, but WE were going to hell for 35 years. consequently, none of us gave her an eulogy. 4 out of 5 did attend the funeral service, but the creepy pastor did not want to shake my hand. My good SIL said my mother has probably been lying about how bad I have been. this after I raised my younger brother for his first 8 years, shopped, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and ironing, scrubbed the kitchen floors on my hands and knees and also washed the windows every week, washed the screens once a month, painted the house, did the gardening. I was expected to get straight A's as well. After I left to go to college, my younger brother ran away from home. Are there any well adjusted families?
Posted by: shimao at November 29, 2017 4:48 AM