Tipping
Do you tip the maid in a hotel? The attendant in a fancy restaurant or nightclub restroom? Have you observed (or been on the other side of) tipping rudeness? What are your ideas and standards about tipping? Do tell!
Comments
My bio-mom's husband routinely tips about 10 percent. He says, "What do they think, I'm made of money?"
I've started bringing a few extra bucks with me when it's his turn to pay.
Posted by: MonicaP at September 1, 2010 7:48 PM
My grandfather usually tips 10-12% before tax, and he insists on picking up the check when our family gets together. It's gotten to the point where I'll lag behind and give the waiter a few extra dollars when he's not looking. When we had a dinner at a really nice restaurant for his 60th wedding anniversary, I had to give the restaurant my card in advance to make sure he wouldn't pay the bill and stiff the excellent waitstaff.
Posted by: Brian at September 2, 2010 8:20 PM
Recently went to a Whataburger for the first time. During the whole meal the 'assistant' manager loudly talked about how he cheated throughout high school and how he doesn't understand how any of his "ology" classes help in the real world. He was standing about 30 feet away and we could hear every word.
When we were finished I left a cash tip on the table and went to the register to pay. After signing the receipt, it was handed back to me telling me I forgot the tip. I am usually a generous tipper but it really irked me to be asked for one.
Posted by: laura.u at September 3, 2010 12:25 AM
My husband's story:
During a night out with some friends, he and his friends split the bill on several credit cards, including tips. Some people left cash. Apparently, this is done frequently where he was born and raised, but not so much in New Jersey, where he'd just moved to.
They left and went to a bar, and the waitress, accompanied by a big bouncer type guy, followed them a block and said, "Was there something wrong with my service?" She thought they had left only the cash that was on the table as a tip. They all had to go back to the restaurant and help her sort out the math of the tips they left on the credit cards.
Posted by: MonicaP at September 3, 2010 4:24 PM
I could go on ALL day!
I was tipped a prayer card once. That's it. Just a nice picture of Jesus with a prayer on the back. I'm sure the customer thought they were giving me something much more valuable than money. Unfortunately, praying doesn't pay the rent.
People, if you can't afford to leave a tip, take your shit to go. Not only did you stiff me, but you took up space at a table where I could have sat some nice people who DO tip.
If you don't like your food, it's not my fault. I'll try to help, but that is NOT accepting blame. Don't punish me because you're not happy with the kitchen. They make the same amount whether you stiff me or not. I, however, make $2.89 an hour.
I don't think everybody understands that a server's tips ARE their paycheck. After taxes, most weeks I don't get a paycheck. We live off of the tips. You're not just shorting us spending money. You're shorting us money we need to pay the bills.
I seriously think everyone should have to work in the food service industry to be allowed to eat out.
Of course, there is the rare occasion that other servers will come in and be overly critical because "they could do it better". Okay, bitch, then do it. I'm going on break.
Posted by: Kimmy at September 8, 2010 7:35 PM
"I don't think everybody understands that a server's tips ARE their paycheck. After taxes, most weeks I don't get a paycheck. We live off of the tips. You're not just shorting us spending money. You're shorting us money we need to pay the bills."
If you quit smoking, you'd have more money for other things.
Obviously, you know that. Was I rude?
/
Posted by: Steve Daniels at September 13, 2010 2:17 AM
I'm sick of tipping. I think it's rude that the owners of a restaurant can't pay servers at least minimum wage and expect customers to pay their servers' wage on top of the food prices. The meaning of tip is something extra for excellent service. It shouldn't be paying someone's wage directly.
And what is with hotel maids leaving envelopes behind basically asking for tips? AFAIK, hotel maids get minimum wage. If the room is paid then they are paid. I shouldn't have to tip maids too. Everyone wants a tip these days, even people who do not even try to give good service. I love tipping someone who gives me excellent service, but most people expecting tips these days just expect them as part of their wage not as an incentive to give great service.
Posted by: TheOneFive at September 16, 2010 12:17 AM
"I don't think everybody understands that a server's tips ARE their paycheck. After taxes, most weeks I don't get a paycheck. We live off of the tips. You're not just shorting us spending money. You're shorting us money we need to pay the bills."
We shouldn't have to tip for lousy service though.
I like to think of myself as a good tipper. I always tip at LEAST 18%. More for excellent service. I recognize that all servers have bad days once in a while and this is also assuming that the mistakes in my order were no fault of the server. So, even for sub par or even bad service, I will still tip at least a minimum amount. Only once have I never tipped, and that was because the order was not only completely screwed up, twice, the server was also rude to boot.
We were at a burger place where all burgers are cooked to order. There were only three of us and it was only moderately busy (as in only a few other tables were being used). We all ordered burgers, fries, and a beer. My order was the most complicated but not so complicated that it would have thrown her off. I asked for mine to be cooked well done and with no cheese. I also asked for my toppings on the side so I may place them on my burger myself. The others ordered a straight up medium burger w/ all the works and one turkey burger. Not too complicated right? My burger came back almost raw. My friends turkey burger wasn't turkey but beef. And we never got our beers. I managed to flag down our server, and asked if she would please ask the kitchen to heat it more as I had asked for well done. (It was almost still mooing) And I also politely reminded her that we were still waiting for our beers and my friend then politely told her "there must be some mistake. I ordered a turkey burger." She sucked her teeth but took the wrong orders back. A few minutes later, she came back. This time with another plain burger for my friend and my burger was still practically raw. She just dropped them on the table and walked away. I also noticed that my burger looked like it hadn't been touched at all. I had to get her attention again and said, "I'm sorry but this is still not cooked right."
Her: It's cooked fine.
My friend spoke up and said, "I'm sorry but this still isn't a turkey burger.
Her: You ordered a regular burger.
Him: No. I didn't. I ordered a turkey burger. Twice.
Her: No you didn't.
Me: Yes. He did. He doesn't eat red meat so it's quite impossible that he ordered a beef burger. And please have my burger heated to well done.
Her: Well can't you just eat it this way? We get in trouble if we send too many orders back.
Me: I am sorry to hear that but I cannot eat it this way.
Her: Why not?
Me: If I wanted a rare burger, I would have ordered it that way. Seeing as this is a cook to order place, I don't think I am being out of line by asking for it to be cooked as I like it. Please have these orders corrected immediately. Her: Fine. But if I get in trouble... *grumble something about picky eaters...*
I then asked for a manager. To his credit, the manager corrected it asap and comped our whole meal. But we still didn't tip. That tip goes to the server and since she failed to do her job, I don't see why she should be paid for it. I am sure that there are those out ther that will call me rude for not tipping but I don't care. She was given every opportunity to correct the issues and chose to be an idiot instead. None of us at the table even so much as raised our voices. Instead of getting angry, we voiced out displeasure with our wallets.
Posted by: Sabrina at September 20, 2010 6:24 PM
"I'm sick of tipping. I think it's rude that the owners of a restaurant can't pay servers at least minimum wage and expect customers to pay their servers' wage on top of the food prices."
Hello, server's wages have to come from SOMEWHERE. If the owners paid a wage then those costs would still be passed down to the customer in the form of higher food prices. Tipping at a restaurant is an accepted cultural norm in our society-if you don't like it, don't go out to eat.
Posted by: Shannon at September 24, 2010 11:32 PM
I usually leave between 15% and 20%, a couple of times I've left two pennies. Barely adequate service gets the minimum, especially atrocious service, or none at all gets the 2¢.
Posted by: nonegiven at September 25, 2010 6:26 AM
I have a rather different experience of tipping rudeness. I bagged groceries as my summer job in high school, and Publix didn't allow us to accept tips (we could get into a lot of trouble for it). I was astonished at how far customers would go to force a tip on me after I had politely refused, as per store policy. I had a lady (I use the term loosely) chase me back to the store as I was returning the cart and stuff a couple of bills down the front of my apron! That's when the tip isn't about my good service anymore, it's about the customer feeling guilty about being waited on or something. Anyone else out there have similar experiences?
On a related note, in pubs in the UK it's rude to tip--the publican and bar staff are your social equals and tipping implies that someone is a servant.
Posted by: Matt H. at July 5, 2011 6:05 PM
I consider myself a decent, but not extravagant, restaurant tipper: 18% for standard good service, rounded to the nearest dollar. A few restaurants print "tip guides" on their bill: No problem, as long as the "tip guides" are accurate, but a quick check confirmed that these restaurants want to be tipped not only for their food and service, but for government service, too, as the suggested tip amounts are based on the price of the meal with tax included. My reaction: Offended; the sneaky bastards foist a fraudulent tip guide on the unsuspecting. Realizing it is not my server's fault, I still tip 18%, but on the amount before tax, which now looks stingy, based on the tip guide. Question for y'all: Am I right? Or am I missing something? Advice, please. I am only trying to do the right thing. Thank you.
Posted by: Jim Simon at May 28, 2012 1:13 AM
You can tip as you see fit. I tip 20 percent including the tax. The tip guide is just a guide. I like to make people feel good and if I can do that with a few extra dollars, that's fine by me.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at June 3, 2012 9:50 PM
Unless you completely piss me off even the worst servers get 10%, 15% for adaquete, 20% for good, 30% for great.
That is weighted at 50% attitdude and 50% timelyness/how busy the palce is
Posted by: lujlp at October 27, 2012 11:11 AM
If the service is even halfway decent, I tip 20% to 25%. If the service is indifferent in ways that the server can control (ignoring emptied plates/glasses), it goes down to 15%.
I just factor in a decent tip as the expected cost of dining out and order accordingly. I don't love it, but it's a custom that seriously affects the server's income, and in a lot of places that tip will be split with other staff.
Posted by: beth at January 8, 2013 8:17 PM
What most people don't understand is that how good/bad service is has so little to do with how much they actually tip. I am going to assume that most would deny that, however... To give a prime example, I bartend. On one occasion I made a woman a martini, I messed up what she ordered and she didn't seem happy but drank it anyways. She and her friends ordered a total of 4 drinks and tipped me twenty dollars (drink prices are cheap...martini is 6 bucks) and on another occasion a man was at the bar for SIX hours, in total I probably served him ten drinks probably amounting to close to 40 dollars and he tipped me FOUR dollars, he was friendly, and engaged me in conversation all night...yet stiffed me. So anyone who has worked in the service industry knows there is really no rhyme or reason to what will earn a good tip. If tipping was the decision of the restaurant or bar owners it most certainly would have been done away with, do you think my boss wants to see me get shafted all night? the reality is that running a business such as a bar or restaurant is so expensive and if servers or bartenders weren't tipped, food prices would be astronomical and then everyone would be complaining about that. The bottom line is that we are all dissatisfied with policies, laws and even social norms in society. We can't really change any of it and have to deal with things. I bet I could critique the work of the people who come to bars and restaurants and gripe about the poor job they do booking me a doctor's appointment or what a terrible teacher they are..but I have no impact on how much they make. If you are not going to tip, stay home throw a hot pocket in the mic and grab yourself a six pack because tipping is not going anywhere anytime soon.
Posted by: cobbx10 at April 15, 2013 4:45 PM
Awhile back, my friends and I went out to lunch that turned into a complete disaster. It took forever for our server to assist us almost 30 minutes after the host seated my party. After she took orders and brought our beverages, she was rarely ever seen again (she and the others were mostly chatting with each other rather than provide service to the customers). Almost an hour later, our meals finally came, but once again, our server was not to be seen again until later. When we finished, I brought up my receipt to the cashier, and I'll be darn if I was told that I would have to pay my server (who rarely existed throughout our meals). So they paged the server and I paid the bill and I did not leave a tip for the very poor service I had received.
I feel that if someone cannot provide excellent service or is rude to me and my party, I will not leave a tip. However, if a server does an excellent job, then I'll leave a tip.
Posted by: Anonymous at February 6, 2014 8:40 PM
I really dont understand the folks who refuse to tip or who tip 5 or 10%. Everyone should know by now that the server's tip is a major part of their income. And should also know that in most restaurants, tip-sharing is standard.
When I go out to eat, I'm not looking for 5 star service, just someone who's pleasant, knowledgeable and who does their job, even if it's not sterling quality. I tip because a) I chose to go to that business, and because, for that evening, I don't have to stand in the kitchen for an hour slicing, dicing and sauteeing or watching a clock to see when my dinner will be ready. I'm paying for the experience and the freedom, and I think a decent tip is part of that experience and a responsibility.
Posted by: Bob at August 14, 2014 12:49 AM
Bob, you're a good guy. I agree with you. (I have a whole section about this in "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck".)
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 14, 2014 4:31 AM
TheOneFive, you are sick of tipping and think it's rude for employers to not pay more to make up for not having to tip?
Are you aware that, at least in Colorado where I live, the state taxes tipped positions based on what they decide are reasonable sales and what they think the employee will get tipped regardless of whether they get tipped or not? I think cocktail waitresses get taxed on assuming that they will get .50 for every sale they make on a drink, something like that, I think. I work in a casino so we give most drinks away for free, so this isn't based on every drink that was actually charged for but for all drinks that has gone to a customer.
I work in a cashier's cage so I make much less tips than the bar tender or cocktail waitress. I make just above minimum wage where as the cocktail waitress or bar tender makes below minimum wage as they are expected to make MOST of their money through tips. In other industries like regular bars and especially in restaurants, I have had employees of such places tell me that whatever they make in tips, their wages are reduced to match the wage they were originally making. Seems unfair. At least in casino's, they get to keep what tips they make. They just get them taxed regardless of whether they made any tips or not.
Posted by: Becky at May 19, 2017 10:39 PM