![[whitespace]](http://metroactive.com/gifs/whiteline2.gif){kind=small}
Home
|
Love Me Due
What’s happened to love in our society? I resent that women won’t
even look at a man without money. I’m a guy, 28, who’s flat
broke. I’m not some lifelong bum. Of course, even when I had money,
it was hard to find women who weren’t married, screwed up, or too
lacking in feminine features. Now, just because I’ve fallen on hard
times, even women who aren’t that attractive won’t go for
me. I’ve always said a couple should live as if they are homeless:
Even if you have no roof, no food, no money, and no prospects, you still
have one thing left. Yes, love. Shouldn’t love prevail, even in
hard times? --It Isn’t The Principle
Yes,
yes, love should prevail! Not only should love prevail, Rene Russo and
Ashley Judd should schedule a creamed-corn wrestling match to fight it
out for yours. Of course, if one or both aren’t girly enough for
you, you should be able to mosey down to the nearest bar, toss a pickup
line to the most beautiful woman there, and have her follow you home like
a dog on a trail of cubed steak. Choose your pickup line carefully. Something
like “Buenos knockers” might win you points for foreign language
skills, but with “Hey, baby, spare a quarter?” you’ll
fill your bed while filling your pockets with much-needed change.
My, what a huge...sense
of entitlement you have. It’s one thing to hope that a woman who
loves you will stand by you when you’re down. It’s another
thing entirely to expect all womankind to line up in lawn chairs at 6
a.m., rock concert-style, for a total stranger who’s down. No, women
don’t want to hear there’s a wait where you’re taking
them for dinner -- especially if it’s because you’ll be standing
in line at a soup kitchen. (Luckily, you’re likely to have good
seats for the movie -- that is, unless anybody’s standing in front
of the appliance store window when you arrive.) Why are women so
shallow? Pretty much for the same reason you aren’t hitting on chicks
who are ringers for Teamsters (down to the crew cut and the paunch). Contrary
to the notion held by irate “flabulous” women who steer me
to “fat acceptance” Web sites like “Fat!So?” (fatso.com),
what men find attractive is not a result of messages Vogue edit-atrix
Anna Wintour secretly beamed into their brains. Actually, as anthropologist
Donald Symons wrote, “Beauty is in the adaptations of the beholder”
-- meaning that the adaptations men evolved to find beautiful are those
which pointed to a woman surviving not only childbirth, but years of “Cave
Mommy & Me” playgroups. Women, on the other hand, evolved to
want Big Men On Campus. Not because they’ve looked forward, for
generations, to making you miserable -- but because men of status and
power could best support their furry little children.
Man-hunting women
should go to the gym, then slap on some Revlon -- not waste their time
e-whining complaints like, “What we need to hear is a collective
‘what-EVER!’ for the men who think that a few extra pounds
make us instantly undesirable.” Woman-hunting men need to set about
getting unbroke. (A shame you can’t earn a few bucks renting out
space on that gigantic chip on your shoulder.) It might be hard to find
a job, but it beats trying to find a single, gorgeous, well-adjusted babe
to climb into the back seat and make out with you -- especially when there’s
a wino on either side of you and the back seat’s bolted into some
form of public transportation.
|