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Living Extra-Large
I’m a caring,
smart, pretty, 23-year-old girl. I do have some extra pounds on me. (I’m
5’10", size 16/18 -- I am not skinny!) I have no problem getting
sex, but guys never want to go further. Married men love me; they’re
always asking me out and wanting to "rock my world.” They don’t
want to leave their wives -- they just want sex. Single guys have sex
with me then inform me I’m “not their type.” How come
guys always want to be around me, but having anyone know or see we’re
more than friends is out of the question? --Want To Be Wanted Clothed, Too Men
want arm candy, not the whole candy store.
Don’t bother getting mad -- unless you’d like to forget about joining
the ranks of women with boyfriends in favor of joining the sisterhood
of angry “wimyn” with furry armpits. Then, you too can sit
around on Saturday nights lamenting that sad day in “wimyn’s
herstory” when Hugh Hefner and Aaron Spelling suctioned all the
Lane Bryant pinups out of the collective male brain -- replacing them
with a huge Heather Locklear poster and nude photos of thousands of unidentifiable,
heavily reconstructed blondes. What better
way to pass the time while corn-rowing one’s underarms than to complain
about what men “should” want? For example, men “should”
only concern themselves with the vastness of a woman’s heart, not
the vastness of her booty. Maybe they “should.” Most don’t.
What they do go for, reports Dr. David Buss in “The Evolution of
Desire,” is the woman whose bod conveys status in their particular
culture. Where food is scarce, that would be the chunky chick’s.
In this culture, where you can’t go 30 feet without stubbing your
toe on Ronald McDonald, thinner is in. That said, the skinny on skinny
is that most men want an “average”-sized woman -- not one
who’s a half-pound of flesh stretched around a wire coat hanger
frame, her weight fluctuating wildly whenever she applies or removes mascara.
Wanting
a girl who conveys status doesn’t stop a guy from wanting to “rock
the world” of a girl who doesn’t -- for an afternoon or an
evening. Probably because you know your weight is an issue, you act like
one of those gag-gift pens with the girl in the window: just give you
a tilt and your clothes slide off. This isn’t to say you have to
become a “Rules” girl who trades sex for homes, cars and yachts.
(That’s just prostitution with a Good Housekeeping Seal Of Approval.)
But, do keep in mind how guys think: It makes no sense, once a girl’s
clothes are out of the picture, to backtrack into the whole girlfriendization
process. What, after a guy gets you naked, he’s going to take you
out for a Diet Coke and grill you about your childhood?
To optimize your chances of landing a great guy, make yourself attractive
to the widest possible range of guys by changing what you eat and confining
your bouncing to the StairMaster. And stop going for married guys. They
have wives at home. They aren’t looking for girlfriends, just girls
-- fat, skinny, or average -- who put out. Whether or not you choose to
thin your thighs, what counts is the reshaping you do in your head: deciding
that you’re entitled to be a girlfriend instead of a girltoy, and
acting accordingly. Not all men want thin women, but even “chubby
chasers” want girlfriends -- not girls whose clothes slide off for
any guy who tilts them to the left.
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