Aren't Medusa and The Gorgon one and the same? I know Medusa was one of three Gorgons, but still: You looking to be turned into stone?

Quite right, Luke. Corrected it above. She was one of the three fabulous Gorgon sisters. My brain was addled from too much blogging, apparently.

It's amusing sometimes how eager people in personal ads are to impress you with their refined tastes. Someone who probably happily lives on Spam and Velveeta burritos will say that his Favorite Food is foie gras or filet mignon. Guys whose nightstands are filled with greasy porno mags choose "anything by Stendahl" as their favorite reading material.

Ah, you could right a book on interpreting personal ads. When a person describes themselves as a "professional," it means "dentist" "plumber" "electrician" or "nurse." If he were a doctor or a lawyer, he would have said so.

Looking for someone who's "open-minded?" So, you'll sleep with anything that moves, some things that don't, and expect me to join in, right?

So, you like "romantic movies, reading and long walks on the beach?" Which means you live your life vicariously and that you're about as exciting as watching grass grow.

Perhaps you're a "writer," "artist" or an "actor." So, you're shiftless and unemployed and sinking your last dime in a personals ad so you can find someone to live off of, right?

When the guy placing the ad says he has a sense of humor, I always wonder, "Then why the hell doesn't he say something funny?"

The next personals ad I place will say, "I don't care how sincere, open-minded, or financially stable you are. If you chew with your mouth open, I'm going to get up and walk away."