L.A.ís Channel 2 ìNewsî
Some publicity person is putting their lips to the right behind at KCBS-TV news.
There was a foot race, in Hershey, PA, of Hershey employees dressed up as Hershey candy mascots. I know this because I accidentally had L.A.ís Channel 2 news on -- the 11 oíclock program -- when newscaster Linda Alvarez (who conspicuously pronounces Alvarez like sheís talking head-ing on Mexican TV) announced this stunning international development. Regarding my getting peeved at her "Look at me, I'm ethnic!" pronunciation, you don't hear Ben Stein calling himself "Ben Schtein," do you?...or pronouncing words of German origin like he's back in the old country? Please. How do you say "Help me, I'm affected!" in Spanish?!
Getting back to the original topic; accompanying Alvarez' report, KCBS aired footage of the five or so poor schlubs in chocolate costumes wobbling around a chalk-lined track. Like, wow, huh? Like, amusing? Sadly, no.
Nevertheless, I know you must be holding your breath for the results...so here they are: Yes, probably much to the chagrin of the person dressed up as a Hersheyís Kiss, and the one decked out as a Hershey Bar...the Reeseís Pieces person tottered to the finish line first. Yeah, I know...the suspense nearly killed me, too. But, wait -- there's more!
As Channel 2 bragged in the news promo spot I heard, they have a "new attitude, and aggressive new spirit!" "Breaking news is our new priority and nobody has more reporters assigned to cover it!" They mentioned something, too, about "a new level of coverage and commitment!"
Yes, coming up (in the next few days), teased the voiceover after the news: ìHow some people can be addicted to tanning!!î Wowee...I wonder if they put Seemowah Hoysh on that one?
**Now-aging photo props for this blog entry provided by political columnist Jill Stewart, who pawned them off on me after Nancy Rommelmann's going-away poker party.
My favorite "look at me, I'm ethnic" tongue-twister was the tv reporter named Saida Rodriguez Pagan. Not sure about the spelling, but still scratching my head about the longstanding trend of overt over-pronounciation.
david at August 8, 2004 9:05 AM
Remember the early 90s, how multiculturalism was all the rage in academia? These newscasters must have all been in school at the time. Apparently the backlash against that movement didn't reach far enough. Maybe this is why Camille Paglia is still ranting about the same stuff nearly 15 years later? (And I thought she was just a hack with nothing resembling a new idea in her head.)
Lena McPenis O'Pussy at August 8, 2004 10:19 AM
My favorite multi-cultural over play was made by Yolanda Vega, a woman who draws the lottery numbers in New York (You know, the women in bad suits who stand and read the little ping-pong balls off for the winning take-four numbers....do they do this outside of NY?) She actually became a 15 minute famer by coming on and saying "Hi, this is YoLAAAAAAANDA Vega" - became a NY joke for years.
Arin at August 9, 2004 5:56 AM
Exactly right, what is it with the "breaking news" shit?
If it's not a car chase, it's "something you have in your refrigerator right now could kill you -- full report in 3 days....."
Lovely local news we have here.
Moxie at August 9, 2004 7:31 AM
Ayudame, estoy afectado!
BeckyJ at August 9, 2004 9:53 PM
Here in the Bay Area, we had the tanning story on local news, too. It says: 1) it's August, so there's no real news; 2) we care about your health, a.k.a. "news you can use"; and 3) here are some teenage girls in swimsuits for you to look at.
Bob at August 12, 2004 10:19 PM