Corporate Tool
That would be my little Attention Hound, Lucy.
I'm at the alternative newspaper conference in San Diego. Drove down in the little hybrid to whore my, uh...promote my column.
As somebody who started out self-syndicated, I've always been a little less dignified (read: more apparently desperate) than a regular syndication rep. Of course, I wear high heels and inappropriately tight clothing -- just like I do when I'm not trying to sell my work.
But, in the trade show, I've always had a tendency to call out to people passing by to get them to come to my booth or chase them around the continental breakfast buffet on some pretense ("Cream...need cream...can't find the cream...'Why, hello there! I've been looking for you [translation: hunting you down like a dog]'").
Well, now I've got it all worked out. Here's Lucy, sitting dead center in my booth.
All I do is call to people, "Hey, wanna pet my dog?" And they practically run over. Then, the only problem is defocusing their attention on Lucy so I can blather about my column.
That carpeting in the bottom picture is vintage corporate hotel chain.
Lena-doodle-doo at June 17, 2005 7:48 AM
Why do you need to blather? Your stuff is the best. I suppose these people just don't know it yet.
Warmest regards,
emkeane
emkeane at June 17, 2005 9:47 AM
Not that Lucy isn't perfect as she is, but perhaps you could bribe her into delivering rolled up sample columns on command request.
Alan at June 17, 2005 10:59 AM
Bah, my puny HTML skills desert me in my hour of need. I was trying to do an oh so clever strikethrough on the word "command" in my last comment. It is the "s" tag, no?
Alan at June 17, 2005 11:04 AM
Got me. But when you find out, do let us know!
Amy Alkon at June 17, 2005 12:34 PM
It's <strike>..</strike> but it doesn't work here :-(
Stu "El Inglés" Harris at June 17, 2005 12:52 PM
Congrats on the awards, Amy - I just read about it at Hit and Run.
Todd Fletcher at June 17, 2005 1:25 PM
Ooh, cool! Me, on Hit & Run? Must go look!
Amy Alkon at June 17, 2005 3:03 PM
Genius. It works for slimy dudes.
Little ted at June 17, 2005 5:42 PM
Amy, what's in the starbucks cup?
Crid at June 18, 2005 6:15 AM
vodka and Tab.
Amy Alkon at June 18, 2005 7:02 AM
Aha! Amy, everyone knows that cyclamates are bad for you.
Crid at June 18, 2005 7:54 AM
Crid, Tab hasn't been available since about 1920. ie, joking! If you must know, it was black coffee, which I mix with Ritalin, so I won't take anybody's head off talking rapidfire.
Amy Alkon at June 18, 2005 8:08 AM
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