Back awhile ago, at a dinner party, a surgeon friend of ours (Lee) was telling two stories:

1.) A woman was brought in with a prolapsed anus, the result of Asian Love Beads gone awry. When asked how it happened, the boyfriend described the situation. My buddy Lee described it "akin to starting a lawn mower."

2.) A man was brough in with multiple pencils stuck up in the nether regions. When my friend Lee asked the patient if they were sharpened or not, he was told "No. Do you think I'm crazy?"

Love the sig, Eric!

While a med student on surgery, I saw one gentleman who came in with a 6-inch diameter decorative stone egg that found it's way into his posterior. Unable to retrieve it in the ER, he was taken to the OR where, just before slicing him open to remove the item, someone had an idea of 'delivering' him with a vacuum-assist device (used to pull babies out when they get stuck). I knew the x-ray tech so I had her print me a copy of the firm; unfortunately, I think I have lost it during the many moves since then. Good times.

Who got to keep the egg?