Gregg's comment made me think of this:
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking." H. L. Mencken

Thank you for your conscience strengthening efforts.

Amy, how do you feel about people who walk with others and take up the entire sidewalk?

I've been having this issue lately. I work near the Children's Museum so there are always groups of mommies with strollers walking side by side. This means oncoming foot traffic must press him/herself against a building or step off into the street. I usually move to the side glare at them but that's it (I can't actually move past w/o pressing against a building and walking sideways).

Yesterday I *almost* took out my camera to snap a picture of two such women with huge-ass jogging strollers...I just don't see people with kids as having the right to push other off the sidewalk. I'm hardly a meek and small person - over six feet with heels. You can't miss me.

This issue also exists with groups of friends walking and chatting who refuse to fall into single-file formation when there is oncoming foot traffic.

Am I being to anal? Any suggestions?

"Thank you for your conscience strengthening efforts." Shawn

heh, with a brick.

for Gretchen... when confronted with this very thing, I simply stop, and let them move around me... I'm probably your heighth, tho' I don't look good in heels, but being shaped like grizzly adams, am plenty hard to miss. What just stopping on your side gets you is the physical ability to show that the other people are taking way more than their share of the sidewalk and being rude.

My kids tend to walk to my sides all the time too, and I am always admnishing them to fall in behind when we approach someone else, I just think it doesn't occur to someone that they should be the ones to move. Adults really don't have a good excuse...

Gretchen - Like SwissArmyD, I just stop, not pressed into anything, and not stepping into the road.

Amy, how do you feel about people who walk with others and take up the entire sidewalk?

I am sick of all this behavior that reflects a total lack of interest in anyone but oneself.

I do know a secret, though, to make people like this move out of the way instead of marching right into you. If you are looking down, and appear not to notice them, they will avoid you. I've tried this and it seems to work. It's kind of amazing.

If they see that you see them, they expect you to duck out of the way.

I also love when you're in a store and trying to come out of a small area and somebody bulldozes on in instead of waiting to let you out. Personally, I feel nice when I extend courtesies to other people. It feels like I'm doing my part to, well, keep the civil in civilization. Also, I think, if people are extended a courtesy, they're more likely to behave in kid. In other words, maybe it spreads. This is part of the book I'm writing now.

>over six feet with heels....

I think I am developing a crush on Gretchen.

"I think I am developing a crush on Gretchen." :-}

I also want to add this:
When you're entering a store and there are *two doors*. I'm of the mind that you stay TO THE RIGHT, same as we do when driving. I love holding doors for people and when they thank me I'm all smiles. Holding a door for someone generally requires 1) eye contact 2) a polite nod of the head acknowledging you're letting them pass. I always hold the door if someone is entering right behind me.

What I despise is when I open the right-hand door to enter and someone exiting barges right through it...as if they assume I am standing there specifically just to hold the door for them. Those people never thank me. I *always* say "Your welcome!" But since that person if probably on his/her cell phone they don't hear me.

AHHHH

To report rude drivers you can go to: www.platewire.com

I think I am developing a crush on Gretchen.

It's hard to pull the narrative of what happened from the text of this blog post, but the photos are wonderfully expository.

The most expressive imagery of a Los Angeles encounter since the Great Vein-Popping of '05.

> Am I being to anal?

I don't think so. People who have lots of kids and enjoy herding them around presume that everyone else thinks they're just darling, too. And if you don't feel that way, they want to make it clear that you should. They're getting in the way on purpose.

"They're getting in the way on purpose."

Woah, Criddo, that is good insight. I buy it.

Jeff, Eric...you boys made my day!

> I think I am developing
> a crush

Gretch's comments on LS show a nice touch. It's not that Schlesinger's an especially principled or articulate human being; the problem is that her callers are doorknobs. And of course, the Today show is all about teapot tempests.

I guess talking to one's mom overrides all traffic safety laws.

Amy, how do you feel about people who walk with others and take up the entire sidewalk?

I do my best to move as far out of the way without stepping into the street or having to hurdle parking meters. If that fails, I usually just look straight forward and keep walking. One advantage to being not-a-small-guy is that large crowds, mosh pits, and sheep herds on sidewalks tend to either give you room, or get plowed through.

I was on a bike and a row of young thugs formed on the sidewalk (it's legal to be on the sidewalk on a bike) to block my path. The street was too busy for me to swerve into the street, so I pedaled faster. Figure if they want a 270 lb man going 25 mph to plow into them, it's their issue. I'm wearing a helmet.

They moved.

I usually try to do my honest best to be a polite and responsible person when dealing with others. But sometimes you also might as well let others know they're being an ass.

It's hard to pull the narrative of what happened from the text of this blog post,

Sorry to be a bit cryptic. I'm sure it'll happen again, but not soon, I hope!

The photos say everything

Oh come on, Gretchen, don't you know that all mummies out there are doing the MOST IMPORTANT work in the whole wide world, raising the future??? They DESERVE a wide berth, and a military salute from all lower form non-child bearing drones as they pass.

At least this is the rationalization that's bouncing around inside their heads to try to bolster their self-esteem after realizing that raising kids just isn't that stimulating or rewarding. Too late to back out, they've chosen it, so they must pretend it's a glorious calling full of status and perks. Like pushing people off the sidewalk. Make way for the queen....

Oh, and I have three kids but love to laugh at my peers who are raising the next generation of sociopathic centers of the universe

If you are looking down, and appear not to notice them, they will avoid you. I've tried this and it seems to work. It's kind of amazing.

I learned this trick from my wife, who discovered it when she lived in Manhattan. Works like a charm!

I love Noo Yawkers for their ability to move their bodies through physical space. I don't care 'bout no Shanghai, nor Mumbai, nor Jakarta... Until you've shown, on the streets of Manhattan, that you can swiftly move through dense pedestrian traffic without slowing down others, you just don't know how to walk. In Seoul, they're going to see their families. In New York, they're going to make money. There's a difference.

Having to haul your ass over that island every day toughens the spirit just as it accrues cardiovascular benefits. I recently dated a legal secretary who works on Fifth. She's my age and detests fresh vegetables*, but she has the build of a 15-year-old athlete.

* Myself excepted.

Gretchen -

Late to your question but, no, your most certainly not being anal.

Personally, I look right at them and don't duck around. I haven't been run into once doing that. They don't like it, but the advantage is that they might actually say something about it. I relish the opportunity for dialog with people who have this sense of entitlement.

I'm a parent who yet again has an infant in his life. I love using the stroller, it really does make life easier. I do not however, believe that I have an innate right to take the fucking thing wherever I damn well please. When I am taking the kids to places that are tight quarters, I strap baby to my chest. At this point I am taking up little enough space that if people choose to invade it (i.e. bumping into my baby) I feel entirely justified in stiffarming them so they don't actually touch him.

It really gets fun when I have the baby strapped on and the six year old in tow, the sidewalk hogs really get some from me then. I will flat out demand that they get out of my way, before they get close. I am not going to smash my baby or my son against a building, nor will I divert into the road. I am polite and reasonable about it, but I sure as fuck say something about it. Their sense of entitlement is not going to put my kids in danger or discomfort.

This is right up there with cell phones in inappropriate places (such as the library). Or drinking next to the playground at the park and swearing like a sailor, while the kids are playing a few feet away.

Thanks for your input, everyone.

I will test out my new strategy tomorrow: stare straight.

I'll report back. Maybe I'll have a sidewalk brawl to tell you about (seeing as how I will refuse to give in to them it might crimp their self-entitled style!).

So I stepped out for a smoke, right after I posted that comment. (I'm at the library, where my children are not) There was a huge crowd of teens milling about across the exit as I was approaching. Their teachers apparently didn't think it was important for other library patrons to get in and out. They didn't move the kids along until one of the sheriff's deputies who patrol Portland's central library told them to.

I OTOH, stepped around the side of the library, to smoke where the library employees step out to do the same. Because I respect the fact that others do not necessarily want to be around my smoke. Mind I had to walk past a bunch of assholes who, against local ordinance, were smoking on the steps leading into the library. Another huge pet peeve of mine.

We just live in a pathologically self-absorbed society. I am reminded of the time I was driving from Kalamazoo, MI, to Grand Rapids - heading to a job. About a third of the way there, I stop to help an elderly women who had had a blowout. Her car was in the ditch and she was on the verge of complete hysteria. She had been standing there for twenty minutes, crying and scared. This was a stretch of highway that is heavily traveled, but with nowhere to go for help, for more than ten miles in either direction.

Not only had this poor lady been passed by countless random drivers, she had also been passed by two state troopers. Not a single damned one of them even thought to stop and see if she needed help. Everyone was just too involved with their own bullshit, their own self-absorption to actually think about someone else, even someone so obviously in need of help as that little old lady.

And it wasn't even a matter of changing the tire. Going into the ditch busted the rear axle of her car.

I think more than a lot of seemingly more serious problems in our society, this is really one of the worse. One of the things that I love about Portland, is that most of the time, if you even look confused, some random passerby is likely to ask if you need directions or some kind of help. I contrast that with Seattle where like as not, if you ask a stranger for directions, they will pretend your not there. Unfortunately, in my experience, most places are more like Seattle than Portland. And in the three short years I've lived here in Portland, I have noticed a slight decline in the friendliness factor.

More than most anything else, I think this sense of entitlement, this self-absorption, is a significant sign of social decline.

Go Gretchen!!! If they get lippy, point out that their precious little whatevers are listening and waiting to repeat whatever they say at the most embarrassing moment possible....like in the middle of ToddlerYoga or their "Prep preschool" interview

I was just in New York today, we (6 of us from our office in New Haven) went to the Carlton Hotel on Madison Ave for a company meeting. We walked from Grand Central Terminal. Because I've been to the City so often, I think nothing of walking like a New Yorker, not waiting for the "walk" signal, cruising down the street in powerwalk mode. The others had a hard time keeping up, but they did, and I got us there in record time. NO ONE gets in my way. But I will give leeway. I hold doors for people all the time; I hold the elevator for people, I'll even push the button for your floor if you ask nice. But I'm not a pushover, so don't even go there.

Waaaaaay off topic, here's Daughter #1 at her piano recital last Saturday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpZert5gN5M

I'm so dang proud! ^_^

She sounds great. And she's got more hair than I am tall!

She's real talented Flynne, I'd be proud too. Sidenote, my hair is about three or four inches shorter than hers. But I usually wear mine in a ponytail with nine or ten hair ties in it, or braided.

I'm so dang proud!

As well you should be! Cheers to the both of you.

@DuWayne - Offering help that has not been asked for can get you in trouble. I tend to drive on unless the person signals in some way. They almost never do. Offering help to blind people, wheelchaired people etc can get you a mouthful of abuse; to a child can bring down an irate parent and worse.

Your little old lady could have already called for help on her mobile, and you could have got a face full of mace. Still, you did good.

Spanks, you guys!

But I usually wear mine in a ponytail with nine or ten hair ties in it, or braided.

She usually wears hers in a ponytail or a braid, but decided she wanted to let it down for the recital. In her email to me (her friend Angie's dad made the video) when she sent the links, she wrote:

Ugh. My hair was like, ARGHIMGONNABEINYOURFACEGRRGRRGRR in the last one.

She cracks me up! W're going to the city next Saturday for the day, she wants to have lunch at Carmine's and then check out the MTV studio at Times Square. She's a good powerwalker too. The younger one, not so much, but she keeps up, when she's not sidetracked by window-shopping. She also hopes we see The Naked Cowboy (http://www.nakedcowboy.com/) again - last time we saw him, he tugged on my seriously long ponytail! I didn't see him until after he tweaked it, he was behind me, but #2 swears he winked at her - now she's a fan for life. Or something.

This blog touches on one of my #1 pet peeves!! Self-entitled and self absorbed people.

I see this behavior in a lot of the twenty-something kids, and I see that it will be an issue with the kids being raised right now based on the fact that parent treat kids like they can do no wrong and are unwilling to ever allow the child to feel disappointment.

These three comments especially express my sentiments.

Amy:
I am sick of all this behavior that reflects a total lack of interest in anyone but oneself.

Mummie Dearest :
..raising the next generation of sociopathic centers of the universe

DuWayne:
We just live in a pathologically self-absorbed society.

So many things that piss me off are included in this post:

1) People who drive while using cell phones. You know how many times have I seen people completely stopped in the middle of the street talking on cell phones, as if they're in the own portable phone booths? Remember phone booths? What a concept - talking private while standing still!

2) People who make sorry excuses for their incompetence rather than fess up to their lameness.

3) Parents protecting their pathetic offspring. What happened to teaching your kids responsibility?