When The Going Gets Tough
The dumb get dumber. Ruth La Ferla writes for The New York Times that an increasing number of people seem to be consulting psychics:
ON a good day last summer, Thomas Taccetta, a stock trader, might have checked his financial charts before plotting the day's investments. Today he is likely to check in with his psychic as well. "I'll play the broadest index, the S.&P. 500," Mr. Taccetta said, "and if she tells me she is getting a negative view, I will sell."Since September, when the Dow collapsed, Mr. Taccetta, who trades for his own portfolio in Boca Raton, Fla., has talked with his psychic about once a month, roughly twice as often as a year ago. "There is no rhyme or reason to the way the market is trading," he said. "When conditions are this volatile, consulting a psychic can be as good a strategy as any other."
Closing your yes, clicking your heels together three times, and pointing at several options is cheaper.
The steep prices charged by practitioners of divination do not seem to have deterred many of the financially fretful. Ms. Hartman, the Los Angeles psychic, said her Internet traffic has picked up substantially, from about 30 visitors a day to more than 200. She charges from $150 for a 30-minute telephone reading to $500 for 90 minutes of "intuitive counseling." In what is perhaps a sign of the times, the $70 moss-scented prosperity candle offered on her Web site has become her best seller, she said.
Smells like prosperity for her. Smells like something else to me.
Mr. McFaul checks in with his psychic when he is stumped for answers about where his business, and his competition, might be headed. "I'm a big believer that you really don't dismiss any opinion," he said.
How about I charge you $200 to let you read Lucy's ass fur?
P.S. If psychics are such seers, how come I got a message from Tori Hartman's PR lady in my e-mail yesterday?
Dear Amy Alkon,Los Angeles psychic, Tori Hartman, was one of four psychics featured in yesterday's New York Times Sunday Style section. Read the article titled, Love, Jobs and 401(k)s by Ruth La Ferla, at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/23/fashion/23psychic.html.
Tori is available for interviews and welcomes invitations from networks and press. Her message is one of empowering people to use their own intuition to make decisions, especially in these shifting economic times.
Tori's approach is friendly and easy-going. To view a video clip of her, please visit www.ToriHartman.com by clicking from anywhere on this email, call (323) 230-9265 PST or email Kristen@ToriHartman.com.
Best regards,
Kristen Butler
Creative Director
I mean, it doesn't take a seer to know what I think of psychics and the like. You just have to read my blog, which you can do entirely free of charge. If, however, you want to order a really expensive bullshit scented candle, please e-mail me and I'll see what I can do.
P.S. My message is one of "empowering people to use their own rationality to make decisions."
I'll start listening to psychics when I start seeing headlines like:
"PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY AGAIN!!!"
Steamer at November 25, 2008 8:16 AM
Amy, I know you're joking, but I swear you should sell Advice Goddess candles with different scents for different problems and your logo embossed on them. Burn them for clarity! Bring Amy's aura into your troubled room! (I don't believe in this of course but I believe it would make money).
JulieA at November 25, 2008 10:16 AM
I'd be welling to bet the "Something Smells Like Shit" candle would be number one
lujlp at November 25, 2008 12:10 PM
My message is one of "empowering people to use their own rationality to make decisions."
Would that you could, Amy. Would that you could.
The Other Lily at November 25, 2008 12:45 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/11/when-the-going-1.html#comment-1607570">comment from JulieAThe truth is, I HATE scented candles, and feel like I'm being smothered when they're burning! But, thanks. Perhaps rationality icons? Especially sharp knives for cutting through anything from bullshit to steel beams?
Amy Alkon
at November 25, 2008 1:07 PM
I was really worried for a sec when they called that guy a "stock trader," because my initial thought was that he might be managing people's money. Sigh of relief when they mention it's his own portfolio.
If I found out my financial advisor was consulting psychics, I'd fire him immediately.
Since you're not into candles, I'll throw in my idea: "Reason Stones." Polished rocks that you can hold in your hand or rub or whatever... to clear the head or meditate or something.
ahw at November 25, 2008 1:34 PM
A buddy of mine in college had a can of "Bullshit repellent".
There's probably a good market for that.
Oh, and the clue-by-four. Never for get that.
brian at November 25, 2008 1:37 PM
The gen-you-wine Amy Alkon Baloney Slicer?
Peels carrots and potatoes, too! Not available in stores, but yours for two easy payments of $19.95 (plus shipping and handling, and sales tax in certain areas). Makes a great gift, especially if you know someone who really needs to slice through the baloney.
old rpm daddy at November 25, 2008 1:37 PM
Holy crap, all this time without a regular job and I could have just pandered myself as a psychic. I used to play at "reading the cards" to my friends, which I thought was fun, until realized that some of them actually were buying into it. Hello, I know you, I actually know what's going on in your life and can BS it back to you. Even if I don’t know you I can tell enough about you to make you a little nervous.
Here's a fun story: For my birthday my mom got me a facial. At the end the lady started waving her hands over my body. I said, "What in the world are you doing?" "I am removing the bad energy from you so that good energy can enter." "Oh...I don't believe in that stuff". "That's ok, I also use essential oils". WHAT? Well then, that’s all ok of course.
If only I were more dishonest…sigh…that’s why I’ve never gotten into politics either though…
Stacy at November 25, 2008 4:45 PM
I never understood scented candles, or scented much of anything, actually. I wasn't being serious. But I do think there's some AG "problem-solving" trinket that people who are in on the joke would buy as gifts, plus all the million others who are just loons. A million loons at $10 a loon. . .
JulieA at November 25, 2008 8:47 PM
Say - don't forget the biggest fraud out there: Sylvia Browne.
Radwaste at November 26, 2008 8:25 PM
Leave a comment