Unbelievable. At the same time, her own comment and others in her comment section give hope: she may indeed realize just how slimy she has been...

It's the same thing as someone eating grapes in a store, or some other by weight product, before purchasing it!! People don't even think about it, but it is stealing. Sure, it may be only a few cents, but those cents add up and they add up quickly.

Sure, most business allow in their budget for loss, but what happens when the loss exceeds the budget? The employees lose out. Back when I was a working stiff, I damned near starved to death & went homeless because of those fucking thieves, who didn't "think" they were doing any harm by eating or damaging products. (Is it really fucking necessary to bash the fucking tomatoes? It's pretty easy to tell if it isn't fucking ripe w/o damaging it!) Yeah, I lived paycheck to paycheck and when your working retail, those paychecks are pretty fucking slim.

People don't fucking think about the consequences to their actions and it pisses me off. I *always* say something to the assholes when I see them doing it. I've done it in stores, restaurants, and even at the car wash. (I hope Amy covers this in her book!) Some of my friends hate to go anywhere w/ me now because I can get loud and crude, but I simply don't care. Asshats need to be made aware of their asshattery.

I hope this post makes sense. I've had insomnia now for a couple days.

You've reminded me of the guy at Starbucks I've been meaning to say something to. I always see him reading both the NYT and the LA Times, and I just realized that he doesn't pay for them, and just reads them and puts them back on the stand. And yes, I'm all about making people's asshattery known to them.

PS Sorry about your insomnia. As for me, Lucy woke me.

It's odd that her kid seems to have picked up better morals than her somewhere (good for her though).

I can't imagine straight up just telling your kid to lie (obviously there can always be actual reasons to do this, but saving money isn't one of them). I suppose it's ok if they lie to you then, if the truth was going to get them in trouble.

Dear Laurie Peterson:

When your prescription drugs go missing and your daughter doesn't know where they went...

When your daughter says she doesn't know who the boy was...

When you look around and realize you can't get an honest answer from anyone in your family...

... remember what you taught them.

I've known people who were habitual liars. They're usually petty losers.

The stupid thing is, if she just explained "can my daughter order from the kid's menu? She prefers those foods and can't eat a ton," they'd probably let her order. Honesty really is the best policy in that case. I've ordered (in my mid-20s) from kid menus and senior menus, and none of the waiters cared.

As for the "over 14 to be alone" at the pool, that really irks me. I work at a gym where members need to be 16 or over to use equipment, and whenever I see a parent claim "it's fine!" that their 12-year-old is on it, I know they'd be the first ones to sue us if their little brat hurt himself.

Says Mommy Peterson: "Allow me to elaborate before throwing the tomatoes."

Okay, so you've elaborated. Now hold still!

Splat!

What a cheap-ass cunt. She's raising a liar. Everyone on the planet hates liars. Even liars hate other liars. And for what-a few bucks?? I'll admit, when entering amusement parks it's crossed my mind to say they aren't 2 yet, but then I think raising a kid that lies is not worth the $25.

I hate seafood. At seafood restaurants, I order a burger off the kids menu. It's never been a problem.

Did it occur to her that maybe you have to be 14 to be alone at the pool because OTHER MOMS don't want to be responsible for your kid while they're there? There's nothing I hate worse than some random kid glomming onto me because they're all alone(or their parents are ignoring them), and I'm there.

I'll be writing a little note to minyanville about their ethics. In this economy, she doesn't deserve a job.

Well, she IS in charge of " . . . its new division dedicated to entertaining and educating children and families on the basics of economics and finance," not ethics or anything like that!! Apparently, she's pretty focused.

yuk

It kinda reminds me of an article I read in the Readers Digest (of all places) about a family trying to spend a month without buying anything new. They were proud of stealing their neighbors' cable and taking their kids grazing at the local warehouse store (not that there's anything wrong with grazing, I suppose). I thought the author pretty much missed the point of his own experiment.

Mothers like this make me sick. I hate lying and teach my kids to tell the truth. I'm not talking about the stupid white lies of does this make my ass look fat. I'm talking about having integrity and credibility. I've taught my children early on that while people make mistakes there is an honor in taking responsibility for it and not trying to lie your way out of something. I know many parents who pull the age thing for movie tickets and children's meals. It sends the wrong message to the kids. If their parents are teaching them all the ways that a lie can benefit them, then what kind of adults are they going to become.

Years ago my now-14yo daughter took me to school on this one. I'm not proud to say I told her to lie about the month of her birthday at the local amusement park where kids under 7 got in free, altho I'll add it was partly to suck up to my neighbor who (whom? please comment) I knew had no problem teaching his then-7yo daughter to lie and to whom I wished to appear equally "flexible". Thankfully my daughter freely volunteered her birthday month to the gate attendant, who chose not to ask any inculpatory questions.

My girls were so psyched when they could finally order from the grown up menu! Why on earth would I ever shoot them down and tell them to lie about their ages just so I could save a few bucks on a meal? Ridiculous!

This stupid cow thinks the world owes something to her and her spawn. Here's a suggestion- maybe she should check out Mary Hunt's Everyday Cheapskate to learn how to stretch a dollar, instead of teaching her brats that character is relative.

I call Asshat.

DaveG: Correcting someone's English is a little like performing a colonoscopy: unless the recipient is paying you to perform the procedure, you might be considered presumptuous.

However, you asked nicely for advice, so I'll weigh in, free of charge.

". . .my neighbor who (whom? please comment) I knew had no problem . . . ."

The standard form is *who,* since it replaces *he*: "he had no problem." The "I knew" confused you because the standard form for an object is *whom,* as in "a man whom I knew in Jacksonville," converted from "I knew him in Jacksonville."

But in your nicely structured phrasing, the "I knew" could be set off as a parenthetical, with no close grammatical tie to the rest of the sentence.

(Note: transformational grammarians have a more nuanced explanation, but nobody would be able to sit through it.)

> It's the same thing as someone eating
> grapes in a store

Saw a woman doing that yesterday. She was in her late fifties, with body language from the Old Country. She wasn't eating them (yet) as I walked past, she was just opening the package to fondle them with her filthy paws. I wanted to shout at her:

Hey Bunny, you're in a America now! Keep your foul paws off of other people's food! We don't like it when strangers give us diseases over here! Someone's trying to sell those grapes, and someone's going to eat them! That fruit is cleaner and more nutritious than anything eaten by the last twenty generations of your family in the old country, and the price is so low that if you don't like them, you shouldn't complain anyway!

I said nothing.

Wow, Crid, great Article. Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome (HUS). - That is what my friend (lost both kidney's) got when she lived in Arizona at the age of 19. They suspected it was from ecoli contaminated food at a restaurant - or the cooks not washing their hands. ewwww.

Speaking of ewww...this meal thief. Some people's sense of entitlement and rationalizations surrounding them leave me speechless...especially when they post to the whole damn world about it "Hi, look at me...picking my nose in public" ..or fondling grapes...whatever. Why would anyone feel so compelled to boast about this type of behavior!?!? No shame. Jeez.

(looks around)

Oops. Apostrophe on the loose. I meant to say kidneys.

Heh, that backfired on my babysitter once.

I forget what the age was, I think you had to be ten or under to get the kid price at the movies. She asked for one adult and two kids, to which I indignantly exclaimed, "I'm ELEVEN!" (or whatever the age was.)

My honor had been infringed upon by her thinking me younger than I was. Of course when you're little, it is very insulting!

Usually if you accidently break something at the grocery store, or squish a fruit, and you just tell them, they don't charge you. But you should always offer.

While I don't think this is most sinful thing I've ever read (a skinny 14 year old might eat less than a chunky 12 year old), I think the commenter who points out how humiliated the kids feel has made the best point.

I'm more appalled that she likes to eat at chain restaurants.

Hi all -- I appreciate the lively dialogute on this subject. For starters, I DON'T eat at chain restaurants. Just wanted to point out the options for those who do.

What's more to the point is that I was not PROUD to be doing this. In fact, if you actually read my column, I own up in paragraph 2 that I'm kind of sheepish about it all.

If any of you care to know the specifics, I am a single mom who works full-time at a job that I took to teach kids globally how to manage their money.

The irony is that in doing that I am now making a lot less money myself and am working longer hours, which is one of the reasons I like to indulge in one small creature comfort -- a well-cooked meal in the company of my community vs. something I make that doesn't taste well in the relative isolation of my home.

We are urban people and like to live in community. The headline was designed to provoke and to get people to click through. Of course, it is NEVER good to teach your kids to lie.

As for the pool, well. I have an extremely well-behaved child who knows how to swim quite well. The pool has lifeguards and she has other friends who swim there. She would not be "on her own" as it were.

I invite you to share other thoughts. I can be reached at lpetersen@minyanville.com

Cheers! Have a great rest of the weekend. You know, we're all in this together!

-- lp

"You know, we're all in this together!"

Sorry, no. I process nuclear waste. Which of the many regulatory-grade procedures I handle would you like me to bend for my own convenience? One of those concerning radioactive waste transfers, radiological barriers to release or simple worker safety? Surely there is somewhere these documents could be falsified with no impact! Nobody will know... it's OK, really!

Right?

I'm in this only in that I have to fight your craven tendency to do what the hell you want, because you can't see any consequences. So, I'm going to use you as an example:

Hey, Amy, this is the kind of person for whom you want to relax drug laws, right? One of those people who will be a responsible user and not "game" any system? She's not alone. There are more like her.

Hey, you have a key role at home. I bet your family has taken the idea, that it's OK to make things up, to heart. They won't have any problem lying to police, the courts, the DMV or anybody, because what they want comes first, and rules are for other people.

Count your pills. Do it now. Somebody in your house knows that there are no "hard" rules.

And they will be "sheepish", too. Oh, boy.

"The irony is that in doing that I am now making a lot less money myself and am working longer hours, which is one of the reasons I like to indulge in one small creature comfort -- a well-cooked meal in the company of my community vs. something I make that doesn't taste well in the relative isolation of my home."

Tough crap, Laurie. A lot of people these days are unemployed or making less money. The honest ones are cutting back or eliminatating unnecessary "creature comforts" until they can afford to pay for them. Your kids will get a much better lesson if the family eats peanut butter and spaghetti when the money is tight (provided, of course, you aren't stealing it from the grocery store).

And as for the swimming thing -- man, do I get tired of parents who think their kid is different, their kid is smarter, the rules don't apply to their kid. Those rules are in place for liability reasons, and because, hello, maybe the other grown-ups don't want your freaking 12 year old romping around unattended. If you want her to go swimming, go with her.

Grrrrrrr.

For pete's sake, you're explicitly teaching your kid it's okay to steal and lie, and the best you can manage is "sheepish?" How about "ashamed?"

And BTW, I did read the whole article, and it didn't say sheepish to me.

Laurie says: "As for the pool, well. I have an extremely well-behaved child who knows how to swim quite well. The pool has lifeguards and she has other friends who swim there. She would not be "on her own" as it were."

Yes, she would. Those lifeguards do not know your daughter by name. They don't know about her allergy to peanut butter or her deathly fear of going underwater. Let me make this clear: They Don't Know Your Daughter. They know that she can swim, ably enough, and that she doesn't usually make trouble. But no one knows your kid like you or another TRUSTED adult.

And as for "Extremely Well-Behaved", I am a children's librarian. In the presence of friends (especially at the ages 11-14), friends cause your child to turn into a different child. They talk each other into stupid things, or get up into incredible mischief that they NEVER would've done by themselves. How do I know this? I see it all the time. A kid who is PERFECTLY well-behaved by themselves can into a troublemaker real quick in the presence of friends. None moreso than the 12 or 13 year old girls.

And while your young lady may be up for sainthood, there is no accounting for anyone else at the pool. I'm not any fonder of the "everyone is out to get my child" mentality of our modern-day world, but dangers include not just skeezy pedos, but bullies who corner kids, parents who are not afraid to yell and scream at another child for "disrespecting" them or their kids (you laugh, but this happens), and the sheer twists of fate that lead to accidents at poolside.

I have this problem all the time at my job. We have a policy where 8 & under must be accompanied by an ADULT at all times. I'm not always watching, understand. I have a job to do, and that job is not play babysitter. And so when something happens, when some falls and gets hurt or is harrassed by one of the homeless men who linger in the hall, or when another kid decides to play aggressor, I don't want you to look at me. Because it was YOUR job to take care of YOUR child. And I will not be held liable because you wre too damn busy to be bothered.

I'm sorry if I came off hot, but this is a red-button issue for me, as I deal with it DAILY. Especially the LYING about ages thing. We limit some of our programs to certain ages, and you wouldn't believe how many parents feel free to just LIE about it, thus bumping another kid out of participating.

So much for the first comment in this thread.

I dunno....sheepish, but not enough to keep from writing a cutesy article about it.

Color me puzzled.