Waistbands go around your waist, not your thighs. Your derriere goes inside the pants, below the waistband.

Finally something Patrick and I agree on!
I might add: the only place I want to see your navel is on the beach.

We could really improve things in one stroke by simply banning lycra.

I think the only time lycra should be worn outside a gym is if you're on a bicycle and wearing an ugly helmet.

Good Morning And Here's The Mental Picture You Didn't Want:

Speedo on Fat Guy

It should be a capital offense, like appearing in a birthday suit without ironing it first.

I dunno, the best scuba diver I ever met (something like 14,000 logged dives) was a late-fifties guy with a pot belly. Not really a bot belly, but if you'd seen it on an early-thirties beer drinker, you'd have called it a pot belly. On HIM it looked cool, because he had the broad shoulders and the look in his eye.

Even if the speedo wasn't stylish, I'll never forget seeing him dive into the water (in a speedo) to help a couple of teenage brothers who'd gotten lost in the technology of advanced diving, about 300 miles from the continent and about 50 feet from the surface. We were all so glad to see him in motion, including the other guys on the boat who'd been razzing him for his swimwear... I explicitly remember thinking "Fucker can wear whatever he wants...."

"Waistbands go around your waist, not your thighs. Your derriere goes inside the pants, below the waistband."

And the crotch of the pants goes just below your crotch, not at your knees. If it's at your knees, it looks like your pants have already fallen off, and we really, really don't want to go there.

"Waistbands go around your waist, not your thighs. Your derriere goes inside the pants, below the waistband."

Amen! And please, please, keep your underwear inside your trousers. There's a reason it's called underwear. It goes under your clothes. If it peeks out over the beltline, pull your pants up, get a belt, do something!

Not to be superior, but....I'm about to. Anything worn on peopleofwalmart.com

Agh, MY EYES!!!!!

Crid writes:

I dunno, the best scuba diver I ever met (something like 14,000 logged dives) was a late-fifties guy with a pot belly. Not really a bot belly, but if you'd seen it on an early-thirties beer drinker, you'd have called it a pot belly. On HIM it looked cool, because he had the broad shoulders and the look in his eye.

Even if the speedo wasn't stylish, I'll never forget seeing him dive into the water (in a speedo) to help a couple of teenage brothers who'd gotten lost in the technology of advanced diving, about 300 miles from the continent and about 50 feet from the surface. We were all so glad to see him in motion, including the other guys on the boat who'd been razzing him for his swimwear... I explicitly remember thinking "Fucker can wear whatever he wants...."

Why is my gaydar suddenly going off? Crid, is there something you'd like to share with us.

The current fad of some males in their late twenties/thirties of wearing heavily starched long-sleeved dress shirts untucked. Tuck your damn shirt in, OK? (And while your at it, get rid of those $150 "pre-stressed" jeans, they just say "more money than sense".)

Thong straps appearing above a girl's pants. Please stop it. And bra straps all over the damn place. And this: http://tiny.cc/4IlZU. Please. It's not pretty, nor attractive, and the kind of men it attracts aren't either.

This too: http://tiny.cc/BKgm4. Because camel toe has an ugly cousin.

Sorry. The first one should have been this: http://tiny.cc/Bd5xx

And the second one this: http://tiny.cc/2mDoy

I'm new at this, okay?

I haven't actually seen this on the street, but if I ever do see it here in the corn belt, I'll know the apocalypse is near. Um, Vivienne, shirts go on top, trousers on bottom.

This reminded me of a few weekends ago when I went with my son to the East Village in NY. The level of freak in there is hysterical yet they look so cutting edge, lol. I do look at people sometimes and wonder who broke all the mirrors in their house but I'm sure I've been looked at like that too at times.

I dunno, the best scuba diver I ever met (something like 14,000 logged dives) was a late-fifties guy with a pot belly. Not really a bot belly, but if you'd seen it on an early-thirties beer drinker, you'd have called it a pot belly. On HIM it looked cool, because he had the broad shoulders and the look in his eye.

Even if the speedo wasn't stylish, I'll never forget seeing him dive into the water (in a speedo) to help a couple of teenage brothers who'd gotten lost in the technology of advanced diving, about 300 miles from the continent and about 50 feet from the surface. We were all so glad to see him in motion, including the other guys on the boat who'd been razzing him for his swimwear... I explicitly remember thinking "Fucker can wear whatever he wants...."

Wishing I'd been there! It's funny how someone can look totally ridiculous until they spring into action. Dude sounds like a dude!

And the second one this: http://tiny.cc/2mDoy

Hey, it's glandular, ok?! But definitely, yes.

Oh, and Amy? I'm wearing a Christmas jumper AS I TYPE. I bought it myself. Yesterday. And I love it! I picked it up to wear to a hideous Christmas jumper party, but since I got it home I realised I actually really like it. So there! :P

I haven't actually seen this on the street, but if I ever do see it here in the corn belt, I'll know the apocalypse is near. Um, Vivienne, shirts go on top, trousers on bottom.

Spectacular!

There's something doing the rounds in Britain - dunno if it's come from or got to the US yet, but girls who were running around wearing leggings and short skirts are now wearing either leggings or short skirts.

Given the health epidemic sweeping the world (that'd be the ol' fatty problem), seeing some girls walking down the street in something as revealing as a pair of leggings and nothing else really is a sight for sore eyes.

(Granted: this doesn't apply to every girl....)

Oh and another thing - flip flops in the cold, snowy, rainy weather! Okay, maybe rainy, but in the cold and snow? Flip flops?? And if you must wear them, a pedicure is in order. I don't want to see your cracked heels, toejam and fungus at the grovery store, thanks. Sheeesh.

GroCery store. Ack.

I'm wearing a Christmas jumper AS I TYPE. I bought it myself.

I think use of the word "jumper" means you're a Brit. Considering your country's acceptance of scary-ugly plaids as wearing apparel, perhaps American fashion rules are suspended.

I do have to admit having a thing for a man in a kilt, providing weight limits have not been reached.

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2007/09/12/some_like_it_sc.html

No Ugg boots.

I'm a proud wearer of ugly christmas attire. I have kids, they love it. And it gets me in the Christmas mood.

And I can not frickin' STAND the soccer-mom velour track suits. Yee gods.

All "boyz in da hood" clothing-baggy pants, jerseys, all of it.

"Men should not wear classic-cut blazers with stuff silkscreened on them. "

Tell me where you've seen that, so I can make sure to avoid that area.

...unless you're a REAL cowboy, save the tight blue Wranglers, boots and 10 gallon hat for the ranch.

Not alot of ranches in NC.....

What a funny list! yesterday it was those damn kids making noise, today it's what they wear, HA!

I dislike guys in the giant t-shirts that look like dresses

leggings are only ok if you're 12 or French

those romper, one piece outfits are bad on everyone over age 2

~~

on christmas sweaters

stuff white people like: sweaters

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/06/12/104-sweaters/

I used to live in an area with lots of hipsters. The hipster trustafarians would pay ridiculous amounts of money for hairstyles that looked like someone had hacked at it with a machete. So

1) Brush your hair.
2) Don't get a haircut that makes you look like you should be flipping a coin in a Batman movie.

DO NOT wear flannel pajama bottoms out in public. If you pair them with your fuzzy slippers (I live in a college town and I've seen this more times than I can count) I'm going to smack you. The ONLY time pajamas should be worn in public is if you're deathly ill and had to run out to fill a prescription. Even then, buy some sweatpants. Sheesh.

Short sleeve dress shirts with a tie.

For some reason that always looks dorky.

If you have to wear a tie, wearing a long sleeve shirt is better.

Wear sandals that fit--when your toes hang over the end the shoes are too small and it makes your feet look bigger! 3/4 length sleeves on outdoor jackets or coats. If it's cold enough for a coat, it's cold enough for a complete set of sleeves!

Amy,What do you mean if you were a Queen, I always thought you were?

Um. Basically, Queen Amy, make everything we see on this website illegal...wait. On second thought, please don't. It's FAR too entertaining.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Hah damn. Juliana beat me to it!

I would insist everyone wear size-appropriate clothes. No one looks good in a Speedo or a tube top, but no one looks good in clothes three sizes too big, either. It just makes you look fat. If you're already fat, it makes you look fatter.

Some years ago there was a run of those Bugle Boy jeans where women were blatantly eyeing guy's asses.

Seems like it wasn't long before the pants started getting baggier, young men started dressing like they were little boys wearing their big brother's clothes, etc. It had me wondering if guys were just embarrassed knowing women were checking out their butts, or just a denial of growing up, or what?

Then there are the girls who think they look good with those rolls of fat sticking out between their belly shirts and their jeans. Like unbaked bread dough. Oh well, to each their own.

Crid, I call that the Soprano Syndrome, after James Gandolfini, one of the sexiest men on earth. Because he looks like a MAN.

It may not be exactly a fashion issue, but people with those fake orange tans should really banned before we all suffer permanent blindness.

I may have mentioned this before, but Crocs are just glorified houseshoes, and thus should remain IN THE HOUSE.

However, I think skinny teenaged girls look cute in their jeans and Uggs. Perhaps because I have one. (Skinny teenaged girl.) I watch her like a hawk for stomach exposure and bra straps, though.

I checked out the site. In this case, you, and everybody else on this forum, ARE superior. :-)

"Because he looks like a MAN"

As opposed to this:

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2008/09/noooooooooo.html

man, this thread needs to come with a tankerful of Brain Bleach...

>>We were all so glad to see him in motion, including the other guys on the boat who'd been razzing him for his swimwear... I explicitly remember thinking "Fucker can wear whatever he wants...."

What a curious holiday memory to stay stuck in your mind, Crid.

For first and great commandment: "Admit to yourself that people WILL judge you by how you dress and that assessment will stick unless you go through a major wardrobe and professional makeover."

If you dress like a skank with titty glitter* and a tubetop into a meeting or classroom, you will not see a professional or professional-to-be but a "pro". If you dress like a playah wearing your "cover" (hat) inside, and we can see london, france and you're underpants, you will not be taken seriously either. Maybe Ever.

If you want to be taken seriously by those who need to respect you, dress for it.

And the second is like unto it. "Dress conformably but nicely for travel."

You don't know when you'll see your luggage again and you won't be reimbursed for an emergency shopping run unless it's been delayed for a ridiculous period.

And finally, one of the Adventurer's Club mottos, "Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes, the bear gets you. But always dress for the hunt." See item one and two.

*I was at a conference where one of my subordinates came to the meeting with glint on her hooters ("it makes me look pretty", uh.. no, it doesn't, we all said in more ways than one). I was shocked, not by the fact that she was wearing it but that she was clueless as to why the rest of the group told her to change or she'd be out of a job by lunchtime.

"Because he looks like a MAN"

My boyfriend owns a dive company, and is a master diver/instructor. I love to see him spring into action. Finally, Crid and I agree on something! :)

As for clothing, one thing I hate is bra straps. When did it become acceptable for women to show them? And, also, going braless with a sheer top on - especially if you're not a youngster and they're headed south. This is fairly common in FL.

Juliana & Gretchen, thank you both for the walmart site. I found so many great fashion tips and I'm just getting started!

Enough with the fashion police. If it's not ugly, it's fur, or eco-hostile, or made in China by slave labor, or it's got a Starbuck's logo on it... there's no pleasing everyone.

My worst fashion crime consists of too many bears at the Folsom Street Fair. For those in normal demographic zones, this means a lot of gay men who wear little leather thongs whether I want to see it or not.

Not all gay men go to the gym, and some of the ones that don't - God bless 'em - are proudly large and hairy.

Bra straps. I'm slightly post-Madonna. Madonna made it OK for women to wear their underwear on the street and to show not just bra straps but the entire bra. I never got used to it.

But I never got used to those baggy rapper pants either, and I've never had the nerve to ask them how their pants stay up and how they can even walk around. I think they hang the waistband off their erect penises? Is that why we don't see many girls with this boxer-butt look?

Yeah, it's those baggy jeans. They're actually worse than the bears.

My advice, walk through Wal Mart and take a look at the women's tops and then look at the women shopping in Wal Mart who are wearing them. If you see anything you could actually wear, without a paper bag over your head, feel free to buy it but realize that if it looks reasonably good it will invariably have to be ironed after every wash and ironing at my house only happens if I am in desperation mode. Jeans there are fine and cheap. God knows why the tops are so awful. Isabel.

I'm no fashion plate myself (I just wait a while, and suddenly I'm fashionable for a few minutes, then it passes on by 'til the next cycle).

Ah, but when I go to Wally World I am suddenly svelte and elegant. And vastly entertained, once I get past the urge to go on a killing spree.

Women 50 and over with loads of cleavage out....most of them have big breasts because they're 40 pounds overweight. It's not an accomplishment, 'Wow I finally have the big boobs I've always wanted, I think I'll show them off'. No thank you.

No thank you also to the trend I saw in the Boston area the last time I was back ( and it continues...) which is layered spandex T-shirts...thin material, two shirts, your whole chest exposed down to the bra line regardless of weight or fitness level. Muffin tops, rolls, bulges, doesn't matter, just HAVE to wear what everybody else is!

it's the trainwreck the keeps giving!

I don't agree with everything he says, but I have to give the nod to Chris Rock and his views on cleavage: "You can't just whip out a 40 year old titty. That's your man's titty. 40 year old titty, your man's titty. 20 year old titty is community titty. That's for all to see."

I've seen many exceptional women in their 40's and 50's and give them credit, especially if they have the confidence to wear size and age appropriate clothing. I don't need to see their cleavage to be impressed. Despite the community chest angle, lotsa bare skin on women half their isn't impressive either. :-)

Same holds true for men. I don't need to see a banana hammock Speedo on a guy in his 50's even if he looks like he's in his 30's. Let's face it, those fashion displays are just that...displays...so it's for others and not for you.

I'm all for feeling positive about your self-image and comfortable with your body, whatever your size and shape. I just don't think you need to share that with everyone. And, oh, if you're getting out of a car in Hollywood, remember to check if you have panties on first!

"You can't just whip out a 40 year old titty. That's your man's titty. 40 year old titty, your man's titty. 20 year old titty is community titty. That's for all to see."

Chris Rock might have to re-think this one. I don't think anyone should whip out a "titty", even 20 year olds.

Now, packaging that titty does take some artistry, but it is possible to make ANY titty look both beautiful and structurally sound.

And if Chris Rock thinks that my 45 year old titty belongs to some man, he can come over here and tell that one to my machete.

Ball caps worn backwards or sideways, especially by males older than 10 years old.

Suspenders worn with anything other than a long-sleeved button-up shirt, unless you're a lumberjack.

Not that I'm sticking up for Chris Rock, but his act would have far less mass appeal if he started it with, "Now, I'm not saying that your man OWNS you if you're in a relationship or any any other time...". :-)

I'm with ya, Vi (uhh, you and your machete). It's all in the packaging and presentation, for men or women. From other threads, it sounds like Empriente bras are a must. Peace!

"That's your man's titty. "

Meaning that most men would not like their wives to flaunt their breasts in public.

Leggings as pants. Not worn as tights, but worn instead of pants. Meaning you are bottomless.

JUST STOP IT. YES, I know they're comfortable and it's easy to forget that you can't see your own ass. Just STOP. (I won't even wear them and my thighs don't even touch!)

My friend has adopted this style recently, and thus far no one has had the heart to tell her that not only can we see her underwear lines AND cellulite through her leggings, she also has a massive camel toe and it's making everyone really uncomfortable, not mention making her look a lot chubbier than she really is.

> It's not an accomplishment

Tits aren't about "accomplishment" at any stage of life. Lust has its own purposes; it's unconcerned with resumes, education, and relevant work experience. I'll teach that cleavage what it needs to know.

"No Uggs! No Uggs. Second that, and second it again."

I loooovvee my Uggs!! When they came out in 2005 it took me a year to understand why they were so popular, then when I finally got my own I realized it's because they are so damn comfortable. And warm. And easy on your feet. And they look so good with leggings-worn-as-pants (Uggs + leggings = the official uniform of every female college student in America) I'm just happy that something so comfortable is socially acceptable, because I wear mine 24/7. Probably not a good look if you're over 25 though.

So THAT's what those boots are called. My sweety, who is in his mid-30s, recently went back to school and told me about these strange boots he sees the women on campus wearing. He said it could be sunny and 60 degrees out, but they'd be wearing these boots that looked like "Hoth boots," after the ones in Star Wars. He never sees anyone outside the campus wearing them.

"Men should not wear classic-cut blazers with stuff silkscreened on them. They are frightening. "

Girl, you need to get the hell out of LA!

Patrick, I thought the same thing too. Twinks with thing for daddies - AWRIGHT!! MWAAAA!

Shannon does make a pretty good point about what is more or less age appropriate... Young women can get away with much more, but there are limits. What most women need to know from the get-go... is that sleeveless anything should be scrupulously avoided unless your arms are skinny or really well defined. Really.

I'm with you Amy as far as being a fashion fundamentalist. Things that needs women need to stop wearing: Black tights with every color shoe except black, those awful crocs, flip flops (what kind of excuse for a shoe is that?), anything with glittler glue and brightly colored underwear under clothes that are not. Things that women need to start wearing: Slips are so underrated until you aren't wearing one and you're walking with your skirt balled up between your legs.

Things that women need to start wearing: Slips are so underrated until you aren't wearing one and you're walking with your skirt balled up between your legs.

I agree...but I haven't been able to find a slip for shorter skirts in years. Few things are tackier than having your slip showing.

-Julie

"flip flops"

You're not from Texas, are you? We wear those year-round here. I have some awesome dressy jeweled ones :)

Hmm, I am always for function over form. Pretty much let my friends dress me to be honest. We go shopping, they pick, I say yes or no (usually yes) and I buy. One friend who is a profligate shopper actually gives me extra stuff she has bought (I give her gift certificates every now and then to show my appreciation).

Mostly, I belong to the "doesn't need ironed" school of fashion (although I also could do without people showing their muffin tops, bum cracks and underwear). When it comes to fashion I can honestly say I don't give a damn. I do like the colour blue though :)

I'm OK with the newsboy caps -- on some people, though not most. Hats in general look good on the right kind of face, but terrible on the wrong kind of face, IMO.

Agree with you on the rest. And I'd add a bunch. Elastic wastebands. Ugh. And tights worn in lieu of pants. Yuck -- tights alone are acceptable for running, biking and ballet dancing, where they serve a practical purpose, but they are not a good fashion look.

The worst look I've seen recently on the streets is winter short-shorts, worn with tights and high heels. The look is stupid enough on a 20 year old, but I saw a woman who had to be 55 in a get-up like this (and the shorts were velvet, no less, and Daisy-Mae short). She actually had good legs, which was no doubt why she thought she could pull it off, but a 55 year old face does not belong on top of such a silly look no matter how good her legs are. You have to be a dumb kid to be forgiven for idiotic fashion choices. She would have looked so much better (and younger) in a pencil skirt and a pair of pumps.

Oh, and I hate those freaking peep-toe boots. Especially the platform wedge ones. Are you kidding me? Ugly and impractical. And lord, why on earth compound their ugliness by wearing them with a skirt? Just hideous.

Oh yeah. And will someone please take a pair of scissors to Brad Pitt's beard beads before they catch on? I'll grudgingly let Brad keep the beard (though I think he looks better without it), but those straggly beaded threads hanging from it make me a tad nauseous.