I abso-fucking-lutly hate it when some leaves a "call me" voice mail.

Is it really that fucking hard to send and extra 15 goddamn seconds and say WHY?

I refuse to call people back when they do that.

I figure if it were really that important they'd have bothered to tell me why

I don't like getting phone messages at all, and hate to see the red light on my phone when I return to my desk at work. That said, I prefer that callers' messages are long enough to state clearly what they want and why. While I don't want to hear a rambling monologue, I really don't want to hear a cryptic "give me a call," especially if it's my boss or general manager leaving the message!

I hate voicemail with a fiery passion. My sister makes me nuts with this.

My cell is my only phone, so if people are just calling to chat, I will know they called without them leaving a message. For people who want to leave a message, it should be possible to state who you are and why you're calling in about 15-20 seconds.

Also, I hate when people call me more than once about the same thing. I went to the movies the other day, and when I got out, I found 5 messages from my bio mother about having breakfast on Sunday, just to confirm. My passive aggressive form of retaliation is to wait even longer to respond (since asking her not to do that has been ineffective).

But I really hate the long, rambling messages. My sister leaves messages that last anywhere from 1 minute 30 seconds to 3 minutes. Google has helped with this, since they have a service that translates voicemail to text. The translation is not always accurate, but it's usually enough to give me the general reason for the call.

I think the reason it makes me nuts (besides hating my sister) is that long messages make me feel like I'm being held hostage by my phone. I can't walk away and come back to it like I can an email, and I have to listen to what is probably a rambling, repetitive monologue without being able to interject. And I'm going to have to listen to it all again when I call back.

I have what I like to call phone phobia. I almost never answer it, and almost never pick it up to call people.

If you are going to cal me, state the issue in the message, so I can call you and have the info needed at the ready. If it takes a long message to succinctly state the issue, fine, but don't ramble. I'll just delete you midway through.

I'd like to see a law strengthening the "do not call" list to include businesses trying to sell something (yeah, I mean you, Verizon), surveys (I don't listen to your radio station/I'm voting against the incumbent) and politicians (tell me again who paid for this thing you're taking credit for.) In fact, they should have to pay me to bother me at home.

Someone should set up a system where they have to pay you to call your home phone, unless they are on an allow list. I'd sign up in a heartbeat.

I particularly hate the cell phone, because I'm on call for my job, and it's never anyone calling to let you know everything is OK. When I retire, it's going in the trash.

Friends and relatives, no problem. I'm glad to hear from you.

Friends and relatives, no problem. I'm glad to hear from you.

I've become kind of cranky even about this. I've found that the friendships I've maintained over the years have been with either people I see frequently or people who email, text and IM. Phones are awful.

I don't think a call is necessarily demanding a person deal with you NOW, when it's convenient for them. When I call someone I don't expect they're available to talk. I don't answer the phone when it's not convenient and will call back...or text (for example: I won't answer if I am waiting in a line in case the call goes too long, but I'll text back "hey - will call u back in a few mins. in line at store". I find it prevents phone tag and I don't need to annoy other people with my conversation or end it abruptly when it's my turn in line.

I hate voicemail. Like MonicaP I only have a cell for personal use but my mom insists on leaving a message even though I've told her that I see "Mom" on my caller ID and I will call her back. I also hate leaving messages so I rarely do when it's a friend/family member.

Now as for work, the long-winded rambling messages make me abso-fucking-lutely bonkers! And if you leave me a message, don't follow it up with an email and then call me 2-3 times more within a half an hour. Oh yeah and my desk phone has caller ID so I know it's you even if you don't leave a message or the receptionist is screening you before you get to me (this post hit a nerve). If I had an answer , you would have heard back from me, but since you insist on harassing me, you will regret your persistence.

By the way, I'm a very organized legal secretary and get calls from other secretaries, and I realize they have a job to do and I'm always happy to help out. But if they can't find a document or need some kind of extension, and then wait until the last minute and start with the phone calls and emails, I will suddenly become dumb or I won't have the authority to grant your extension.

May I also add a complaint about the "answering machine" messages (admittedly more on cellphones than answering machines anymore). The person I'm calling records a message along the lines of "I'm not available, leave a message" and then the built in robot lady gives me another minute to waste while she yells me about how to leave a numeric page. Holy Ma Bell!
Hmm. I'd better call my cell to make sure I've eliminated that on my phone come to think of it.

I HATE long voicemails!! I'll admit, I have a habit of getting all nervous when I'm leaving a message and end up rambling a bit or stumbling over my words, so I'm not completely innocent here, but I can't help it! My mother is the WORST. She'll leave a 5 minute message then repeat the entire story to me when I call back. WHY?! Now I just hit delete as soon as I hear her voice. She got the hint after about 200 conversations started with: "Did you listen to my message?" "No, Mom...what's up?"

Most messages at home these days are unwanted: politicians, charities, etc. So it's a pain to sort through them to make sure there isn't something important buried somewhere. I don't like talking on the phone, anyway. If you want a response from me, email is best.

I've read that a good descriptive voice mail message should take 10-20 seconds. And always leave a call-back number, and a time when you are available.

I think the thing a lot of people hate about voice mail is that the systems themselves are inevitably a PITA. Take our office system: it's typical in that to retrieve your messages, it takes 17 key presses just to access the system:
1. Dial the 5-digit extension of the system.
2. Punch in the 5-digit extension of your phone and #.
3. Punch in your 6-digit passcode and #.

Then, you have to wade through several layers of voice menu prompts before you actually get to listen to a message. There are too many numeric codes to remember: is "back up" 63, or is it 73? If you enter the wrong one, you'll accidentally erase your outgoing message? How do you skip forward? How do you find out what time the message was left? How do you set up an out-of-office notification? Then there's the fact that the stupid message-waiting light on the phone is never in sync with the mailbox. If the light is not on, you have to dial in to find out if you have messages. Sometimes the light won't go out when there are no messages, and then I have to move the phone off my desk because the flashing red light is so annoying. Currently mine's been flashing for three days, and the help desk can't figure out what's wrong. And oh yeah, you now have to change the passcode every 90 days, or you lose access. How many memorable 6-digit passcodes can you come up with, given all the applicable rules (can't have the same number twice in a row, etc.)? All the passcodes are going to wind up on yellow stickies next to the phone, and then Security will have a conniption fit.

Just send me a damn email. I'm probably not in my office anyway.

I prefer e-mail to phones these days. For work, it's frequently because I want that paper trail, so there's no confusion as to who said what and when.

Plus, there's no "ums" and "ers" and repetition. At home I screen all the calls because usually it's a sales pitch. Usually from a phone company. (Is that an example of irony?)

I'm an old crank anyway, so even calls from my friends or my sisters seem like an interruption. Not that I don't like to talk to them, I just don't want to talk to them at that moment. If I take it, we're going to be talking for about an hour. That's just the way it is. If I don't take it I feel just a little guilty, plus now I have to call them.

Maybe that need for constant contact is something people outgrow, like so many other things.

My friend calls my phone knowing its a cell and when she gets the voice mail says, "helloooo? Kristen? Are you there? Pick up the phone?" I have to laugh that she still doesn't get that I can't hear her!!!

This same friend is horrible with the cell phone. She is actually my best friend and I've cut down our time together because she cannot go ten seconds without taking a call or answering a text. I literally could spend an hour with her and not get one word in. I finally told her that she's wasing my time and devaluing our friendship, but she seems to think that every call and text is "important."

I think we're spoiled. How amazing it is that we even have voicemail? Yet, we complain about everything...get pissed off by everything...don't have time to even listen to a voicemail.

Here's my point. "Everything's amazing and nobody's happy":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

I HATE VOICEMAIL! Actually, I hate talking on the phone, period. I only ever really talk to my mom, since she lives out of state, and that's only once a week. I much prefer email or text messages to talking, and I also HATE it at work when people call and leave a message and rattle their phone number off at light speed. You need to say it SLOWLY, so I have time to write it down!

Honestly, if it weren't for my mom, I'd try to find a way to disable the actual phone part of my cell (which is my only phone) and go text and email only.

I WISH.

Like Pricklypear and Ann, I guess I'm an old crank, too. Fran Lebowitz said, "As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." That's pretty true. Anymore these days, my reaction to my phone ringing is "Oh, for Pete's sake, who's calling me now?

don't have time to even listen to a voicemail.

Oh, it's not that I don't have time for it. It's that I HATE it.

Phone communication is the worst form ever. None of the body language and spontaneity that comes with face-to-face communication, and none of the convenience that comes with email and texting. It's like the worst of both worlds wrapped up into one obnoxious package. Voicemail is just the cherry on top of the Hate Sundae: everything I hate about talking on the phone, plus the inability to alter the course of the conversation.

I have caller ID (I don't own a cell) but if you don't leave a message, I don't call back. I have ridiculous phone rules, but I hate it so. There was a time in my life when I'd do without a hair appt if I had to call to make it.

I also hate when I do call people, and they can't talk/are really busy, but they answer anyway. Hello-that's what voicemail IS for (very briefly!) For the love of heaven please don't pick up if it's not convenient for you!

Seriously, folks. It's a phone. Like he says in the clip, it's going TO SPACE for your convenience. And, it even has an "off" button... a "delete" button too. Don't want to talk on it, or listen to it, turn it off!

We used to have rotary phones, party lines, and no voicemail, yet we now have phones that you can hold against the sky and they will show you the names of the constellations! Run it against a price label and it'll tell you where the buy the item cheaper.

People in other parts of the world still don't have these conveniences, yet all we do is bitch about the technology that has made everything in life easier for us. We're spoiled.

What about people who have long messages you have to listen to before you can leave a message. My dad's is "You have reached John Q. Smith. Please leave a short message or a long message. Or you can email me at JQSmith@somemail.com. That's J as is Juliet, Q as in Quebec . . . ."

Hmmmm, that might actually be the solution to getting all that voice mail. Leave an outgoing message so long and irritating people hang up first. Goodness knows I don't leave messages for my dad anymore.

A related annoyance and its consequences:

http://bigthink.com/ideas/18522

Basically, as Amy pointed out at the beginning, a phone call is at the sender's convenience, an email or txt message is at the receiver's convenience.

People in other parts of the world still don't have these conveniences, yet all we do is bitch about the technology that has made everything in life easier for us. We're spoiled.

This is a spin on the "eat your broccoli because there are starving kids in Africa who don't have any broccoli" thing.

Technology has certainly made our lives easier in many ways, but it has not been an unmitigated good. While I have the ability to turn my phone off, people expect me to be available and get testy if I don't respond quickly. Cell phones and texting and voicemail have given us the expectation that other people will be on call, ready to communicate with us, at all times. When I go on vacation, I can expect to have to answer "just a quick question" from work or deal with family stuff that other people would have simply dealt with themselves 30 years ago. We no longer have the ability to get away from it all, because all follows us around in our pocket.

an email or txt message is at the receiver's convenience.

Which is why I prefer these forms of communication. I love my cell phone, but I also love my time.

Thanks to modern technology, I have the attention span of a gnat.

If you leave me a long, rambling voicemail message, I'll probably be typing an e-mail, getting coffee, or watching the homelss guy outside my window yell at his imaginary tormentors by the time you've finished identifying yourself. There is almost no way I will be listening to your message, writing down what you are saying, and preparing to act on it.

I can't sit still and pay attention in conference calls, webinars, and web meetings either. The only thing that keeps me from drifting off or wandering away during video conferences is the knowledge that the other people can see me...and sometimes that's barely enough.

If you want to convey detail to me, send me an e-mail, a letter, or talk to me on the phone. 'cause if it ain't interactive or cant' be perused at leisure or doesn't get my attention at the opening...oooh, shiny....

I don't think I treat voicemail msgs any different than text msgs or e-mails, though if the voicemailer (is that a word?!) appears to be leaving me something longer than 15 seconds then I usually just delete it and immediately call them. The exception to this would be if it's funny. A buddy & I have long had a tradition of leaving insane voicemails to each other which involve multiple accents & characters. Oh wait ... this is just a private e-mail between you & me, right Amy?! LOL

While there have been tremendous innovations in technology that are wonderful, our time is what is being soaked up. I had a professor who expected us to do work online over a school designated break. I explained to him I was going on vacation over the break because it was a break and he told me to still check in on my lap top. At the resort I stayed at, people were constantly going in the computer room to check emails and things. I couldn't imagine as a kid going on vacation with my parents and asking to go to the cyber cafe instead of the ocean.
With the phones it is the same thing. As Monica pointed out, people have the expectation that you have a cell phone, you're available to talk. Sometimes I'm relaxing or shopping and I don't think that because I have a phone it means I can't do those things in peace. So yes, Lovelysoul, in some ways we are spoiled and we've gained a lot, but it doesn't mean that some of the technology isn't annoying. I remember the rotary phones and stretching the cords for privacy. I don't want to go back to that, but that doesn't mean I have to have a phone implanted in my ass that makes me accessible 24/7 for anyone who feels their need for me is immediate.

Oh god, these posts just reminded me of a horribly funny scene in a Roseanne episode, where Jackie has to try to get it through to her deaf grandma (I think) that their dad just died. There's nothing like cracking up and cringing at the same time.

I've been in the USA for the past couple of weeks, staying at my mom's place. There are a couple of things that have really struck me about telephone usage here (as opposed to Europe).

First, every single business has an automated answering system with very complicated menus. If you have something that doesn't fit the menus, it is extraordinarily difficult to reach to a human. While such systems exist anywhere, they are totally over the top in the USA.

Second, automated phone calls, and not only the unsolicited political stuff. Calls from collections agencies (for the previous owner of the number), customer satisfaction surveys (from businesses where she is a client), etc, etc. All stuff that is apparently exempt from the do-not-call list. Totally irritating!

If fax advertising is illegal, surely automated calls of any sort should also be prohibited? They are a massive imposition on the recipient!

I'm really bad at calling people because I feel like I'm intruding - I prefer e-mail or text. I'll answer the phone if it's someone I want to talk to, but otherwise I'll let it go to voice mail. I don't mind messages though, so long as people don't mumble so it's a job to hear them and they keep it short and to the point. My ex has (well, when I called him once, maybe he's changed it) a stupid long (over a minute) message that's supposed to be funny - that's enough to make me not want to bother leaving a message.

When I was volunteering with the GOP I tried to pay my dues, and got stuck calling voters to do "surveys"..yeah they still believe in it and think Karl Rove's swell tactics for winning Ohio in 2004 are going to fly everywhere. God I hated it. But most people do not answer anymore, especially in the better neighborhoods. Wealthy voters? Never. Only poor folk and some elderly shut-ins answer. I prayed for message machines.

I never leave long messages. But I hate it when I call and would just as soon leave a voice mail, but some stupid teen answers, takes no message and totally forgets who called because it wasn't some hottie from school.

Well, as a business owner, I find it wonderful to be able to stay in touch and answer inquiries from anywhere, but I don't allow myself to be a slave to it. I answer when I feel like it.

I guess it's different if your boss expects you to answer the moment they call, even on vacation, but that seems to be more of a boundary issue than the phone's fault. Unless it's an emergency, I don't call my employees when they're off, especially of they're miles away on vacation.

And if you don't want to talk to someone, don't answer. I mean, we even have caller ID, so we KNOW who's calling. In the old days, we just had to take the risk, pick up the phone and say "hello". Then, if it was some long-winded person we didn't like, we were stuck.

Composing a message is something else I hate. Not only does my voice sound weird to me, the message always seems dorky or abrupt. I used to have a long one--"You have reached Pricklypear. If you are calling to ask me to change phone companies, please hang up now. If you are calling with a new credit card offer, please hang up now...and so on."

Now it's basically just "hi. leave a message."

That's wrong--there was a power outage and it needs to be updated, so at the moment it's just that mechanical man and his prerecorded message. Which suits me fine, actually.

IMO any messages that are longer than 20 seconds are disrespectful of the time of the listener.

The messages I really hate are the ones which sound at first like the person is answering. Now, those are annoying as hell. Start talking to the person, then realize it's voicemail.

Well put, Monica P.

The majority of my contact list goes straight to voicemail. I even screened calls when I had a landline.

I use my phone now more for news and internet than actual calls.

LS, I used to work with a guy whose outgoing message went, "Hello... This is the desk of XXX..." It had two things wrong with it. First of all, the pause after "hello" would trick you into thinking he'd answered himself, as you say. Second, we all thought the part after that was pretentious. So when we got his voice mail, we'd leave messages that went, "Hello, desk! Would you please tell XXX that..."

If you don't leave me a message, I assume that you don't need me to call you back. I don't answer my phone when I can't talk (or don't want to),and I never answer numbers I don't know. My cell phone is for my convienience, not anyone else's.

I haven't personally noticed a problem with rambling messages, so I guess most of the people who call me just get to the point.

My iphone diplays voicemail by phonecall, so I don't have to go through any other messages to get to the one I want to hear. Maybe that's why listening to them isn't really that inconvenient to me.

And when a matter doesn't really require a conversation (What time are you leaving work, etc), I prefer a text.

You had a tweet about this a few days ago that made me think about it. And I was amused not to have to follow the link to get the point.

Truth is, there are people in the world who don't like text.

But when friends won't read things you write, you have to wonder if they'll really listen to things you say in person, either, or if they're just taking the first word in your sentence.

I guess that tweet really did the job!

I think because writing takes more effort, people are less flabby in their communication.

Okay, I guess I'm the black sheep here.

I like phone calls. Not from politicians or survey folks, but from friends & family. Texts are okay, but I hate trying to have a conversation thru text. ["Hey, how is that emotionally devastating thing going for you?"] I like text for quick questions ["What time are you coming home?"] or for silly updates ["Movie was awesome!"], but if you want more conversation than that, call me.

Voicemail doesn't bother me so long as its not a robot. My best friend leaves rambling messages, but it makes me laugh more than annoys me. I always leave short, to-the-point messages. ["Hey, it's CD. I was just calling to see if you made it back from your vacation yet. Give me a call when you get a chance."]. The only thing that irritates me about voicemail is the robo-lady that BlogDog mentioned. Who the fuck leaves a numeric page anyways?

To keep it simple, I like to talk to my friends. And while Amy says she'd rather meet up in person, that's not always possible on a busy day when you just want to vent to your best friends or check on them to make sure they're *really* okay after a bad day. A phone makes it possible.

As for email, virtually none of my friends use it for non-work related stuff. If they want to chat, they'll hop on Facebook or text.

> Okay, I guess I'm the black sheep here.

No, that was a good blog comment.

There are no wrong answers on this one. And each of us has moods that change how we feel about every communication that we get.

But I've tried to develop the habit of putting my cell number at the start of every voicemail (rather than the end) so that the callee can skip my long-winded message (at their own risk), or at least play it back quickly to scratch it down. You have to practice it out loud a few times, like it's all one word "ThisIsEddie3105551212 and I wanted to know if..."

"The messages I really hate are the ones which sound at first like the person is answering. Now, those are annoying as hell. Start talking to the person, then realize it's voicemail."

And let's not forget the ones where I answer the phone and hear "Please hold for you call to be transferred to the next available.."!

I hang up immediately, and then wish I'd stayed on so I could yell at whatever poor fool actually came on the line.

I like phone calls.

Mutant.

to leave me condolences about Callahan's death

I'm so sorry about this. My condolences, as well, for whatever a virtual blog stranger's condolences are worth.

Another voice mail hater here. I delete all of my mother's messages because they are just blabber.

Funny moment from yesterday: I work on various computer programs at my job, one of which we just got up and running. At the general staff meeting, someone suggested that we get a help phone line. NOBODY, boss included, wants to do this. Because at this place, people would rather pick up the phone and call you before reading the website, taking a class, or doing any thought whatsoever.

> people would rather pick up the phone and
> call you before reading the website, taking
> a class, or doing any thought whatsoever.

Goes both ways. Communicating with most companies larger than 5 people is a bad time. You don't get to tell other people what constitutes "any thought whatsoever." Why should I have to wade through a website?

It is not required that you listen to the entire voicemail message. For example, if I'm listening to a message and it starts going on too long, I just press *7. Message deleted. Problem solved.

It's not really the voice mail that bothers me. What drives me up a tree is when people speak at a normal pace throughout the entire voice mail message, and then run through their phone number so fast it sounds like my golden retriever's bark. And a lot of people are guilty of this. Normal pace of conversation suddenly turns to light speed...and isn't the return phone number kind of the most important thing I should know?

The problem with voicemail messages is that there is no easy way to scan them to get to the gist of the message without having to listen through a lot of irrelevant rambling, unlike email or text messages where that's much easier to do; so voicemail messages essentially steal more of your time. Deleting voicemail messages without listening to the whole thing risks missing an important detail, while a glance at email or text usually suffices in determining whether they require closer examination or whether they can be deleted or sent to one's junk mail folder.

I have precious few daytime minutes on my plan, so I appreciate short messages or none at all because it eats up my minutes to listen to them. The exception? Messages from my boyfriend who lives hundreds of miles away. He leaves me long, rambling messages about dreams he had the night before, and I don't get mad. :)

Also, remember when everyone had those long creative/funny/odd outgoing messages? SO GLAD those days are over and that we all seem to have gotten over it. One of my friends, though, still does those. Just a few recent examples:

- "Hello? (pause) Who is this? (pause) Oh hi! So good to hear from you. haha j/k this is Jane's voicemail."
-Soundbites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
-A Sarah Palin impression
-(in a foreign accent) "Hello? Hello? Who Jane? You have wrong number. (click)"

Funny thing is, she's been applying for jobs, and she refuses to believe that this might hurt her chances. She says she wouldn't want to work for anyone without a sense of humor. Hell, I HAVE a sense of humor, and I get annoyed and refuse to leave messages. I'm positive a future employer would have even less patience.

I prefer e-mail to phone most of the time. With the phone, I like efficiency. It's nice when the message says what the person's calling about, without rambling too much. I also don't like the messages that just say "Please call me" without saying why - hard to prepare for those.

What's odd to me is how many people speed up when they leave their phone number. When you leave a phone number, speak more slowly.

Thank you for the compliment Crid!

Amy: Yes, but not from friends who are trying to waste time on the freeway.

Oooh! That makes me mad! I hate being on the phone with someone and then hearing them say something like "Oh, I just pulled into the driveway, better let you go!" You've just made me complicit in your asshole behavior! If I figure it out in time, I always try to say something along the lines of "Hey, well, I'll let you go so you don't crash your car!" And the stupid thing is that everyone knows how I feel about talking on the phone while they drive! So why they think I would be okay with them doing it just confounds me.

The problem with voicemail messages is that there is no easy way to scan them to get to the gist of the message without having to listen through a lot of irrelevant rambling, unlike email or text messages where that's much easier to do

Try Google's voicemail translation. Sometimes it sounds like nonsense, but it's usually enough to get the basic idea.

What drives me up a tree is when people speak at a normal pace throughout the entire voice mail message, and then run through their phone number so fast it sounds like my golden retriever's bark.

Or when they put the phone number toward the end of a long and rambling voice mail, so that if I don't get the phone number the first time, I have to listen to the message all over again.

When I have to leave a voice mail I introduce myself, leave my number, say how I am connected t the person thru a third party if need be, leave a short consise message, repaet my name, repaet my phone number, give an approx time best to reach me, repeat number one last time

I never - never - answer my phone unless I see it's my wife. And her only. Anybody I need to communicate with already knows it's best to reach me by e-mail.

And just so people are clear when they call? My message - with all credit to the late Capt. Phil Harris:

This is Jim. Leave a message. If it's important, I'll call you back. If you don't hear from me, you already know the answer.

Rude? Kinda. Do they get the message and not call me anymore? Absolutely.

Mission accomplished.