Security Theatre, Toronto, Ontario
When flying back to the U.S. from Toronto, you go through U.S. customs and U.S. security right in the Toronto airport.
A guy named Mohammad manning the TSA security camera there ordered a check of my bag. His TSA henchman, who mauled all my stuff in non-disposable gloves he used to maul everybody else's stuff, found the dangerous weapon in my makeup bag: a little pair of tweezers. And they weren't even Tweezerman. Just a dull Lacross pair with the red dot from Rite-Aid.
Yet, upon their discovery, Mohammad told me, "If these were any sharper, we wouldn't let you bring them on the plane."
What, I might break into the cockpit with them, pluck the pilot's eyebrows, and bring down the jetliner?
Of course, according to the government's Rules and Regulations, tweezers -- apparently, of any kind -- are allowed.







Just more government bread and circuses. The message: "Watch the airport security show over here. Don't pay any attention to us allowing millions of "undocumented immigrants" in over there, not to mention giving visas to who knows what from terrorist countries all over the globe".
And while you're watching, pay no attention to the fact that Mohammad is manning airport security. And that the same security makes no distinction between people like Amy and people named Mohammad, who actually have a history of blowing up planes and crashing them into buildings full of office workers. No, just watch the show and let us keep you "safe".
cpabroker at July 19, 2010 4:33 AM
People with power of any kind often abuse it. Petty abuse in this case, but still abuse.
I have noticed that people with smaller amounts of authority sometimes abuse it more than those of greater authority. I can usually get along with police officers, but I have had countless confrontations with security guards.
Doug Stephens at July 19, 2010 6:20 AM
Heh. I get so tired of this crap.
I treat airport security with nothing but respect because, well, I will likely get thrown in jail if I don't, but the whole thing is a joke. It really is a dog and pony show.
I use to live in NYC. I got searched everytime I flew before I changed my name when I got married. I was a single white female with a pretty unique last name, albeit not in anyway foreign sounding. Just uncommon. But yet, somehow, evertime I flew I got red flagged and had to go through the whole shebang. Even so much as removing my flip flops to have my feet scanned after already going through the detector barefoot. I was coming from NYC and going to Michigan to visit my mom a few years ago. This trip was no exception. This trip was only 3 years after 9/11 fyi... I ended up having an African American female guard search me. She herself thought it was ridiculous that *I* was being searched while at that very same moment a man name "Amhit Mohammed Jabul" ( I don't know if that's spelled right) wearing a burka and clearly not from the US was getting through security without so much as a blink. And like I said, only 3 years after 9/11. I was dumbfounded. On a recent trip from Florida to Las Vegas, I was made to throw away my tweezers, and my face cream which was 3 0z. and well within the travel guidelines but my husband got through with his lighter, his razor, his nail scissors, and HIS tweezers. WTF? I was pissed at the hypocracy of it. I actually brought it up to the guard doing the scan as my husbands bag was on the belt with mine, and all he could say was "I don't make the rules." Um, but you DO get to decide which "rules" to follow right?
Sabrina at July 19, 2010 6:31 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/07/security-theatr.html#comment-1734021">comment from SabrinaI did make a crack as I was leaving that the problem isn't tweezers, but Islam. And I have reminded people in line that the reason we're all waking up so early and losing hours of our time is because of Islam. People need to remember this and learn about what Islam's really about. No, not all Muslims follow the Quran to the letter -- or have even read the Quran in English, or know the Arabic words they're reciting. But, as I've blogged here numerous times, Chapter (Sura 9) of the Quran, which abrogates any nicey-nicey stuff before it, commands Muslims to convert or kill the infidel. The Hadith (words and traditions of Mohammed) are also filled with some lovely stuff. The problem: Islam demands that the Quran be taken literally as the word of god, and that Mohammed's actions (child-fucking mass murderer) are to be emulated.
Amy Alkon
at July 19, 2010 6:36 AM
Maybe Mohammed thought that you reminded him of a female Jason Bourne, whose expert hands can turn ordinary objects and online opinions into lethal weapons. :D
Tony at July 19, 2010 6:40 AM
During my latest trip out of JFK, my husband had two Leathermans confiscated. Incompetent customer service made us too late to check the bags, so we had to take them through security, where the knives were confiscated, and the bags were checked by the flight attendants anyway.
I've had hand cream confiscated and got through with a box cutter in my purse, while my husband got through with a 6-inch iron pipe in his backpack. What a joke.
MonicaP at July 19, 2010 6:46 AM
Call into question Amy's tweezers but not those 5 guys speaking in Arabic that are getting ready to board the plane.
You should have told him you use them to pluck the nether region and maybe it would have freaked him out.
David M. at July 19, 2010 6:46 AM
You should have told him you use them to pluck the nether region and maybe it would have freaked him out...
OR... Tell him that you need them because you are going to help "groom" the 72 Virgins.
Sabrina at July 19, 2010 7:35 AM
Can we assume the gentleman in question had likely never seen a pair of tweezers in his life?
Vinnie Bartilucci at July 19, 2010 7:41 AM
I knew it was all a joke when I was for stopped carrying Iowa chops--best pork on the planet, unavailable in New England--which were swabbed for explosives. Hell-O! People who go all splodey on airplanes don't get their virgins if they're unclean from touching the flesh of the swine.
HeatherRadish at July 19, 2010 7:50 AM
No racial profiling allowed, ever, unless of course it fits someones agenda, then it's all okey dokey.
jksisco at July 19, 2010 8:13 AM
Keep this up, and you're gonna be on a watch list.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM
My wife and several friends are in the airline industry and the best true story about this follows:
A pilot, who had gone thru the training and was allowed to carry his weapon in the cockpit is going thru security before starting his day flying. He pulls out his weapon and authorization and hands it to TSA. He then empties his pockets of cell phone, wallet, etc. and passes thru the metal detector. One of the TSA folks looking thru the stuff he emptied from his pocket finds a pair of nail clippers scissors (the real small kind). She confiscates them since they are a dangerous weapon not allowed on the plane. Then she hands him back his gun and wishes him well. Unbelieveable.
a) He has a gun.
b) He is the freakin' pilot. He can crash the plane any time he wants to.
Security theatre is just plain stupid.
David Knights at July 19, 2010 10:34 AM
I've heard a similar story David, except it involved cutlery from first class that wasn't let through and the pilot responded by fetching the fire axe from his cockpit and bringing that back to TSA.
Of course the pilot doesn't need scissors, cutlery, axe or a gun to bring down an airplane . . .
Elle at July 19, 2010 11:09 AM
I've had my minor run ins with the TSA idiots but I was reminded recently that an airline got real nervous about a fancy letter opener my mother was bringing back from the UK in the 80s. They required it to travel in the cockpit with the pilots instead of her carry-on bags. This was the same flight that I had a swiss army knife in my bag that had a sharper blade.
Sio at July 19, 2010 1:01 PM
These scum strip-searched Joe Foss for carrying his Medal of Honor.
That should tell you everything you need to know about government programs.
Radwaste at July 19, 2010 3:46 PM
It is better not to fly or travel, if we have to get any hassle by some mohammad. It would be even worst if some mohammad turn really nasty and extremely high handed due to our nonbelievers criticism of their evil kind.
I prefer not to fly with all the hassle and risk plus the high cost of travelling.
WLIL at July 19, 2010 8:52 PM
I was stopped for extra searching while carrying a goverment id card that you need to pass a security check just to get.
Kendra at July 20, 2010 1:23 AM
The security theatre that is TSA is benefitting local tourist destinations. I don't fly unless absolutely necessary to get somewhere. Otherwise, it's a motorcycle trip through the mountains of Vermont.
brian at July 20, 2010 6:23 AM
Sheesh Amy! I'm not going through customs with you! :-) I just got back last night from Toronto and the guy at customs grew up in Palm Desert. Smiled and sent me on my way.
Catherine at July 20, 2010 12:16 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/07/security-theatr.html#comment-1734505">comment from CatherineThe Canadian guy was really sweet to me on the way in! He joked around with me and I asked him if he wanted to see the letter I had about the conference, and he said, "God no!"
Amy Alkon
at July 20, 2010 12:22 PM
Locabie, Scotland happened December 21, 1988. I flew across country in January 1989 and the primitive security xrays caught the full box of OB Tampons in the bottom of my carry on. I got pulled aside, they showed me the monitor and asked me what that was and I had to go in the little room and unpack my entire suitcase because for the life of me I couldn't remember what it might be(at a certain age you just travel prepared in case Auntie Flo visits. . . ). The male security guard blushed to his hairline when I finally pulled them out and sheepishly said they suspected it might be a box of shotgun shells. He apologized and helped me repack as they were close to closing the plane door.
Now I pack my tampons at the top of my carry on.
And I love flying out of Toronto because I don't have to deal with US customs when I make it home at a very late hour.
Nanc in Ashland at July 20, 2010 4:09 PM
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