There's a more sinister side to this garbage: calling people held against their will "detainees".

They are prisoners. If you use this term, quit lying to make it politically correct to hold someone in a cage, especially for convenience.

Chick-Fil-A:

Thank the server and he will answer, "my pleasure."

Every time one says it to me I respond, "you ever get tired of saying that?"

I work in customer service, helping clients all day. Well, I'd say the client is the large company who contracts with my company but all the people I talk to are customers.

While customerese might annoy you, look at it from the worker's point of view. Luckily in my current job they don't have guidelines and just expect appropriate behavior but when I waited tables, we had to refer to customers as guests. I told the manager that guests don't pay and that is why they are customers but he was ingrained in the Applebee's corporate bullshit and wouldn't budge.

The girl I sit next to at work always says "my pleasure" and I think it is nice. It is annoying when customers think they are being witty, like Dave up there, when we hear stuff like that 5+ times a day. Just be polite, have all your info ready and just give me the info I ask for, not every other piece of info you have. Let the customer service rep guide the call after a 1 sentence explanation!

I wonder if Ms. Graff was more annoyed at the choice of words or the fact that they were trying to rush her. I'm

I use "no problem!" with clients on the phone. Some of them are older. Some are younger. No one's ever complained. The folks I deal with aren't "general public", they're network and application support staff for institutional trading/banking firms so I'm not sure if that makes a difference (less likely to complain b/c they're calling me from work).

Someone who complains about a response like "no problem" (in response to "thank you", their argument being that it shouldn't have been a problem so why imply it may have been?) is nitpicky and obnoxious. If someone is friendly and helpful to you and says something with a smile on their face, and you walk away satisfied with how you were treated, correcting them to speak how you deem appropriate is out of line. Luckily I deal w/ clients over the phone. I would probably say "Sorry you feel that way. Have a nice day," or something. I wouldn't be particularly inclined to suck up to a snotty person.

I can see in some circumstances how informality would be bothersome, such as when a waitress says "hi guys" to a group of men and women. A restaurant is more of a luxury, experienced-based activity. But if you're getting help with your credit card bill or something just get over it.

A friend in law enforcement was both amused and disgusted when they were told from up the chain of command that the people they were arresting were "clients".

Hey Amy- remember the "Client" "Guest" "Customer" or whatever from a few weeks ago who wouldn't leave his waitress alone? He must not have liked your advice, because he's now featured as the headline over at Creators.com. He asked Annie's Mailbox for validation and advice on how to woo his target. Creepy bastard.

Gregg absolutely LOATHES "no problem" instead of "You're welcome," and Marlon Brando did, too. (I know this because both have done long riffs on how it drives/drove them mad.)

Me? If somebody's pleasant to me, and especially if they're trying to solve my problem, I don't much care what they say.

More and more, I'm very sensitive to patronizing businesses where the employees are nice and friendly. The lady who works the counter at my old dry cleaner (which I'm not using so much anyway now thanks to the economy) was always sort of nasty. The other employee there was nice, but I'd always dread her being there instead. I've had enough of that. If you live in Venice/Santa Monica/Marina Del Rey, and need a tailor, I've found a place where they're lovely. Reviewed them here.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/one-happy-cleaners-los-angeles

Hilarious thing was, the son sent me a text that was meant for his girlfriend. It was not the sort of text you send to a customer! He was molto embarrassed, but I told him he couldn't have sent it to a better person, because I found it hilarious, and was writing about this sort of thing now (technology making us seem rude when we don't mean to be). It's something I'm going to write about in my book I'm working on now -- how people sometimes make assumptions when they have no guarantee the e-mail got there, etc.

It's usually not a big deal. At least you've got a human, not a machine. If you're lucky, you even speak the same language. I will overlook most things, as long as the intentions are benign.

Except for Starbucks. I wouldn't put up with their pretentious lingo if the coffee were good and free and served by topless Playboy bunnies. Some things just grate unreasonably. I have no idea why I am so bothered by that venti grande BS, but I am.

I was on a train where the conductor called us "guests." I wondered whether it was now common for people to lock their guests in a sweltering tin can and strand them on the tracks for 20 minutes.

I dislike the word "guys" when referring to men and women.
I also dislike the word "done" when the word "finished" should be used. When did the word "done" become acceptable, anyway ?

I never say anything to the speaker. But it is still
unpleasant to hear.

I prefer a "You're welcome" as a response to "Thank you", but I'm not going to get upset if someone answers with "No problem", or even "Yep" or "Mmm, hmm".

I do get pissed when the grocery store cashier asks me if I want to donate a dollar to their cause of the week just so they can put up a banner saying that their customers donated $xxx to the cause.

I was raised to respond to a thank you with "you're welcome". It means nothing really, any more than "no problem", "my pleasure", "think nothing of it", etc.

Nevertheless, it bugs me.

The constant toying with the language is inevitable, but sometimes it drives me crazy. People are apparently driven to continually change the accepted terms--janitor becomes custodian becomes maintenance engineer--while the job requirements stay pretty much the same.

The terms that food vendors and clothing manufacturers come up with really make me want to hurt somebody. "Uncrustables"? Aaargghhhh! All made-up words with -able or -licious added to them? Put some lions in a pit and throw the advertising idiots who create these terms to them!

Decadent means decaying, but people just love to use it to describe everything from coffee creamer to underwear. I suppose it's true, technically, but do you really want to use it for a cookie?

(Oh, and I just looked up client in a Webster's dictionary from 1985. The final definition was "customer".)

Part of the problem is all the businesses that want to imitate the above-and-beyond successful businesses. Disney calls their customers "guests" and while the customers are paying to be there, the word does not seem out of place. The "cast" want their customers to feel super-special and welcome. They will talk to the chef about fixing special food to accommodate allergies; they will give you a special pin so that everyone will know to wish you a happy birthday; the princesses and costumed characters act genuinely happy to welcome you and so forth. Calling the customers guests is a way to reinforce to the staff that they are expected to go beyond the call of normal duty.

Then somebody writes a book about the Disney Way of Doing Business. Then some corporate type reads the book. Somewhere between the doing, the writing, and the reading the idea is mistranslated. Instead of adopting the mindset of "our customers are to be treated like guests" the message becomes "we'll call our customers guests."

Personally though, I think it's all very silly. To either call customers guests or to get offended by it. Or to get upset by "no problem" or any phrase where graciousness was at least intended. Any time you start getting into the whole "but it implies/ but one can infer" arguments I tune out. I'll take someone to task about their tone, but not about what their cheerful "no problem at all" implies.

Gretchen: I also say "no problem" all the time. My job requires that I help people out throughout the day with various problems. They thank me. I say "no problem". That is, until recently when I became aware that some people don't like it because it infers that they were a problem. PC BS, that's what I think. But I've still become more aware of saying it, because if it bothers a number of people, why do it? I get the "tough shit" attitude, and I even appreciate it. But it's fairly easy to do away with the source of tension by saying "you're welcome" instead. Or the chik fil-a thing - my pleasure. I like that.

Frankly, if someone has thin enough skin that they get offended or "upset" at a response like "no problem" (which is short for "It was no problem for me, a way of saying it did not pose any inconvenience) instead of "you're welcome"...then quite frankly that someone needs a few more problems in their life.

Because quite honestly, they're REACHING to find something to be annoyed about.

I do get pissed when the grocery store cashier asks me if I want to donate a dollar to their cause of the week just so they can put up a banner saying that their customers donated $xxx to the cause.

I work retail and the company I work for has a charity that I am REQUIRED to shill for. I really wish I didn't have to ask, but if the customer in question is a secret shopper (we get them once a month) and I don't ask, it takes points off my score, and anything less than a perfect 100% can lead to pay docking and, if repeated, termination. I really don't want to bother people, but it's five seconds of their time, a simple 'no, thank you' and it means keeping my job and not angering my boss.

At least we do still call a customer a customer.

None of the customereze language bothers me. The only thing that bothers me is standing in line to do a business a favor by buying something from them. I love businesses who minimize the wait time and are responsive enough to open other checkout stands if people are not being served immediately. Depending on what I am shopping for and if I can get it somewhere else, I will occasionally walk out of an establishment if there is a line. If the wait for a table at a restaurant is longer than 10 or fifteen minutes I will almost always find another place to eat. I usually prefer places that take reservations and also have a good reputation for keeping them. I made a reservation at a Japanese steak house several months ago. They got backed up and we were an hour past our reservation before we were seated with nary an apology or an offer of free appetizers or drinks while we waited. That was enough for me to NEVER go back. Isabel

"Let's understand: I was not working on anything," Ms. Graff wrote, of a leisurely dinner punctuated by such inquiries. "The server was confused. He was working. I was eating."

This goes back to a sick attitude about food in this country, that eating it is "work" and when you have finsihed that unpleasantness, you have earned your "dessert". Food should be enjoyable in its own right. If it's not, learn the fuck how to cook. Food is pleasure, not some goddammned utilitarian delivery system for nutrition.

Nick: guys is to westerners as Ya'll is to southerners. You must not be from around these here parts. We don't even hear it when someone calls us guys.

The first time I heard "no problem" in place of an expected "you're welcome" was from a young waiter. (I am well over 50.)

I had the impression that it was started because many young people do consider work to be not quite honorable and feel demeaned to work in a low paying position. "No problem" seemed to be an assertion of equality and resentment even though their jobs were to serve.

Since I already consider wait staff and clerks to be my equals while doing their jobs, I was a little startled and confused. Of course I have become accustomed to it. At the same time, I suspect that those who reply "no problem" actually wish I had not thanked them because it calls attention to the service they wish they did not perform.

Of course, it is more realistic to be put on notice that I am not welcome to a service or kind action. Usually I already know that I have not created a problem beyond requesting and paying for someone's service in a business establishment they do not own.

The more I think about it, the further into the swamp I go, so I'll quit.

"I do get pissed when the grocery store cashier asks me if I want to donate a dollar to their cause of the week just so they can put up a banner saying that their customers donated $xxx to the cause.

I work retail and the company I work for has a charity that I am REQUIRED to shill for."

Not pissed at the cashier. I know they are required to ask and probably don't like it any more than I do.

The word/usage that makes me cringe is "servicing", as in "please hold - we are currently servicing other customers".

Call me picky, but to me the word "servicing" is used to describe maintenance of a machine or what a call girl does to her client. NOT what I'm calling my bank or insurance company for.

MarkD: I TOTALLY agree with you about starbucks! I absolutely, positively will never, never never say doppio espresso. It's a goddang double espresso. Even, yes, even in Italy. Yet I say "I'd like a double espresso please" and I get a quizzical, correcting look and a "doppio?" No, I mean double. Just push the button, please.

I know the hospital that I work at is trying to be more progressive, but we have recently been told not to refer to patients as patients. They are also guests. It's a nice gesture, but most people know they are a patient and certainly don't feel much like guests when they are told to stay in bed all day and night. "Oh, and to top it off, 'guest,' we are going to come in your room every 2 hours and take vitals, draw blood, make you have a breathing treatment, and once a day give you an enema if need be." I know a 2 liter bottle of water going up my ass would make me feel like anything but a guest. What crappy hosts! LOL

much ado about nothing... but we can blame disney and nordstrom, on the -ese end. But, on the -no problem end, this is really just casual as among friends. People often say "Thanks" instead of Thank You, and so forth. Nana was a stickler for such things, and I always got the evil eye if I said yeah instead of Yes. I think we can just chock this up to the davaluation of manners as art form, perhaps also the rise of rudenes.

"and we thank you for your support." :grin:

Have you ever called a customer service line and gotten "Hi, this is Amber. How may I provide you with excellent service today?" or some such fluff?

Gag.

1- A "sales associate". Salesperson no more?
2- "Hmm-hmm" as a reply for thank you (so rude, it sounds as if they mean "yeah, yeah, see if I care...").
3- All the phony 'green' BS (at Starbucks for instance).

mmaire- I bet you are talking about United Way. When I was a student I worked for a large grocery chain, and we we're forced to have money taken out of our check every payday. Something like $10.00 a week, if I remember correctly. The store manager got a nice trip at the end of the year if he had 100% compliance, which he of course always got because if you didn't donate, you would get the worst and least hours as punishment. I do some work for United Way here and there, but I refuse to ever donate a dime to them.

>>"At the same time, I suspect that those who reply "no problem" actually wish I had not thanked them because it calls attention to the service they wish they did not perform."

I assure you that, as a twenty-something who uses the phrase interchangeably with "no worries" and "my pleasure", that is not what I mean at all. I picked up "no problem" and "no worries" from the movies and television I watched as a kid. It is simply part of my vocabulary. I rarely ever use "you're welcome", unless someone is thanking me very formally, as in "you know, you are always so helpful and we appreciate how much you put into your job." But for the most part, when someone thanks me for helping them find a book or answering a question, I just smile and say "no worries!". If we've been dealing with a difficult subject and had to spend quite a bit of time on it, I'll sometimes add "it's what I like to do!". I do that in order to make the customer/patron/whatever feel that they never have to feel like they're inconveniencing me by asking me to help them out and do my job. I never, EVER have meant it as you imply.

I don't mind "customerese", actually. I understand it comes from some corporate big head who hasn't actually worked with a customer in fifteen years. What I do mind is lack of customer service. I despise going to hotels, taking planes, and going to restaurants where I consider the primary job to serve my needs and then proceed to get treated like I'm an inconvenience or a burden to the staff. I watch old movies and I see that at the hotel, there was always someone offering to help you with your bags. No one in my adult life has ever offered to help me with my luggage. A pet peeve is when they "auction" the food off at a restaurant. Even though there's only two of you eating, they still have to bring it round and "who had the steak? Going once, going twice!". I hate being told in a shop that "I can't help you, I don't work in that department." Okay, well, is there *something* you can do to help, like find someone who does work in that department? I hate going to the doctor's office with a problem, and spending half of the visit convincing them that the problem isn't in my head, or cowering before the receptionist. I would understand if I was notorious for coming in every month with a new self-diagnosis, but I only come in once every two or three years! And I don't self-diagnose, I say "Hey, this hurts." And the worst are planes, where I get the distinct impression that they would be only too happy to watch you sit up and beg to be allowed the privilege of boarding their overcrowded, cramped, unpleasant vessel.

Call me a "guest", give me a "no problem", tell me that filthy lie that "my call is important to you", but don't treat me badly, dammit!

Along a similar line, Amy- in personal business dealings I always refer to my clients as "Mr Smith" or "Ms Alkon", even though they all call me Eric. This advice was given to me out of college by a high powered CFO. It keeps emotions at a distance when you might have to foreclose on someone's home or business.

In Spanish, the usual response to Thank You ("Gracias"), is "De Nada", which means "It's nothing". I see "No problem" as being along the same lines. Entirely appropriate.

I say "no problem" in response to "thank you" all the time. My personal thing is that it is my job and I enjoy doing it. People hate to call because they are afraid to "bother" me. It IS my job to take their "customer service" concerns. Most of the calls start out with "sorry to bother you" because I'm not a customer service rep, but I am the person in charge of solving a certain type of problem.

We went to Six Flags this summer, and every single worker ending their greetings with "Have a Six Flags day!" WTF is that supposed to mean? Yeah, I'm here at Six Flags, so I'm not sure what other kind of day this could be. Even my 10 year old daughter said that she felt sorry for the employees for having to say such a stupid phrase over and over again.

Pricklypear - I also can't stand cutesy made up words. I work in newspaper advertising, and I want to bash my head in the wall every time I type the words "Halloween Spook-tacular" or "Easter Eggs-travaganza." So lame, so unoriginal!

And one word about "no problem" - in Spanish, the proper response to "thank you" is "de nada" which means "it's nothing." I forget the French response, but I believe it translates the same. "No problem" is not very far off from that, and makes a lot more sense when taken literally than "you're welcome."

Sorry, Farmer Joe, for repeating you - didn't read all the comments first!

Maybe businesses started using fancy words when consumers become a bunch of snivelers.

I'm not bothered at all. When someone uses the term "client" I know they are trying to sound upper class. It may very well sound silly given the context in which it is said, but it's nothing special to me.

When a waiter asks if I'm still "working on that", either they're really innocently inquiring since I haven't touched the food for a few minutes or it's a subtle hint they need the table free. Either way I know it's time to finish up. I don't take offense. Sometimes I do need a little push to finish, and this gives me a good excuse for myself to do so. If the restaurant was crowded when I first entered I am more observant how much time I take to eat. I don't rush, but I'm mindful not to be as lazy as I like to be.

Put me down as someone who hates "no problem" as a response when I am a customer. I find it too chummy, bordering the same territory as servers that introduce themselves. Let's have a little distance, please.

By the by, the French expression is "de rien", and it is not "correct" although it is being used more and more. You would never hear an older person saying that, and I would never say it to an older person. The correct response is "je vous en prie"...you are welcome. I will not patronize shops where they de rien me.

I'm sure lots of you think that I am a snob or overreacting, but this is a good case of manners breakdown.

"I know a 2 liter bottle of water going up my ass would make me feel like anything but a guest."

Some places, that's an extra charge.

Recently I've noticed a new trend at restaurants when paying cash. The server has on three occasions rounded the change up on me and left me with whole dollars. On all three occasions, they rounded the check up shorting me on the change. While it is not a significant monetary value, where is the money going? Is the restaurant pushing this practice or is the server merely pocketing a few extra cents on each transaction? In doing so they are effectively charging me more than the receipt states and actual charge should be. Has anyone else experienced this?

Again, I'm not so concerned about the $.61 it cost me last time, just that this has seemingly become acceptable and I don't understand why. That, and were I to ask for my change and suggest that I was shorted I'm fairly confident I'd be that "asshole customer at table 7."

I'm on the "I don't care" side. Sad to say that at this point, I'm often very grateful to receive good service at all.

I hate the "Are you finding everything ok?" that they hit you with at Safeway etc. I mean, sometimes as soon as I walk in. Jesus, piss off!

When I say no, I can't find ____, they go right back to where I was looking and say, "looks like we don't have____" Well, duh, that was helpful.

A checker told me they were all under orders from headquarters. PR and all that.

My biggest customer complaint is clerks who answer a ringing telephone when you're standing right in front of them, trying to check out. Ugh!!! I am here in person, do NOT pick up that phone. Finish with me, and then attend to the phone. Making me stand there and wait an extra 5 minutes while you discuss something on the phone is rude and wrong. And if you're the only clerk in the store, you still shouldn't pick it up. That's why God invented voice mail.

@Jessica
The hospital I work at has started doing that as well. They're not "patients" they're "customers". Uh huh. Like I'm supposed to ask the 80 year guy with congestive heart failure in room 608 if he'd like the salad or the soup to go with his entre of ACE Inhibitors.

I think the reason I often say "no problem" rather than "you're welcome" - aside from habit - is that I don't want anyone to feel like I "require" gratitude for whatever my actions may be. It is not that I think my job is sub-par - or, Alicia, that work lacks "honor" - I have two jobs, one working as IT support and the other in social work - so I deal with both "customers" and "clients" any way you look at it. I'm a naturally cheerful person and the fact that I like both jobs helps a lot with that demeanor. I like to think that I'm polite as a result of both that and solid training as a kid.

I work with people of all ages and this entry has made me rethink my well-intentioned response of "no problem". So now I'm going to have to guess ages when I respond, I suppose? If you look at least twenty years older than me I need to be more careful with how I word my habitual attempt at being nice?

The response from customer service that I have a problem with is "Have a blessed day." Honestly, I don't want to be "blessed" by anyone or anything.

Regarding the patients as customers (I haven't seen that, I've seen consumers and clients) anyone who thinks a free-market system provides the best health care should be supporting that mindset full-force. It places the patient/consumer/client (rather than the financial interests of the HMO, physician, or hospital) at the center of care, and a lot of providers are trying to shift that way so they can both provider better quality of care and be competitive.

Cornerdemon and Jessica F, thank you for your clarifying responses. Together they take away all the reservations I expressed about "No problem". I may even start using it myself when I can see that someone is of an age more apt to relate to it.

Jessica F, I think you have enough going on without having to concern yourself with people's ages :-) when you are simply being nice and courteous.

@Sam
Respectfully, I disagree. This isn't a Disney Cruise. It's a hospital, and 90% of the time, they're not there by choice. Yes, the difference between "patient" and "client" may just be symantecs. But in a hospital setting, I am there to care for people who often cannot talk, move, or assist in their own care. We're working to keep them alive, and, as much as we can, comfortable. This means that we do treat them with respect and answer their questions. That's what (good!) nurses do and always have done.
Sorry, but to me and many of my other fellow nurses, telling us to call patients "clients" cheapens what we do. I'm not making these people milk shakes or helping them pick out a tie. I do not get to choose whom I will or will not assist.
If you want to make the argument that private practice physicians have "clients", then I'm all on board with that.
But if you think we have "clients" in hospitals, come hang out with me in the ER on a Saturday night.

Thank you for being nice, Alicia! If you're willing to use different phrases catered to how the respondents may relate, certainly I'm on board with integrating more "you're very welcome" into my vernacular regardless of age! :)

Servers introduce themselves so you can call them if you need anything-not to be chummy.

"are you still working on that" may be a poor choice of words, but generally the server isn't trying to rush you, unless s/he is already a crappy server in other areas. Part of the server's job is to clear your plates-most guests don't like to have dirty plates piling up at the table. The only way to know is to ask.

Most restaurants require employees to respond to thank you's with "my pleasure."

I use "no problem" interchangeably with "don't mention it," "you're welcome," pretty much phrases that express the same sentiment. I use it with friends, coworkers-there's no secret meaning behind it.

Strange that I seem to be the only one here to mention this, but when shopping or being served by a clerk, cashier or customer service representative, I usually wait for them to thank me for the business, because without my money the issue of “No Problem” vs “You’re Welcome” is a moot point. If I’m thanked then I can decide if “You’re Welcome”, "Thank YOU!" "Mmm-Hmm" (See how rude that sounds from the other side?) or “No Problem” is appropriate. If I’m not thanked then I might think a “Can I speak to your Manager?” is in order.

So, you customer service persons, what say you? Do you thank your clients and customers for their patronage or do you expect them to thank YOU for doing your job?

I like Alicia. I hope she posts here more often.

I don't like when I am being checked out and the cashier says, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I bet that it would do very little if I said, "Actually no - I couldn't find any __________." The cashier is not going to make sure it's there next time - that's not there job. It's just one of those filler statements to look like they give a crap.

I work very hard and do tech support, and I sometimes say "no problem". It's not meant to be rude; it's meant to be friendly.

It all started when retail chains began referring to the salespeople as "associates". It's been downhill from there.

I am 30. I use both "No problem" (and de rien when I am speaking French) and "guys", but not in super-formal situations. Same as I never say "tu" to my colleagues until invited when we are speaking French (I work in Ottawa) I try not to speak informally in English with colleagues until I know we are on that footing. But with friends or in a social situation that is always how I would speak.

In general I think you should judge on the basis on how gracious or polite someone means to be and not a set of rules. I always thought Heinlein's etiquette rules were awesome - be gracious, make people feel comfortable, regardless.

> "Let's understand: I was not working on
> anything," Ms. Graff wrote, of a leisurely
> dinner punctuated by such inquiries.

If the dinner was "leisurely", why was Ms. Graff being such a sanctimonious, condescending little priss?

Hey, guys! There's a recession on! And our government is out of its fucking mind!

So, yeah... To dig our way out of this, we're all going to have to go that extra mile to make our customers happy; to be sensitive to their needs, whether expressed or inferred, and to be a little more patient with their higher expectations. We're ALL going to have to create some extra value for each other, and that includes the high school dropout at your favorite greasy-spoon.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND....

A fundamental truth of economic life is that people on both sides of a transaction will push and push and push. Customers at McDonald's will demand tablecloths and candlelight and servers trained in Paris. A person learns what a dollar's worth when the vendor suggests that better satisfaction for it is found elsewhere.

If you're the sort of person who thinks every waiter needs to approach you like an English major, so that your mood is never tortured by a common, clear piece of expression like "Through with that?", you should probably hunt your own game and wash your own crystal.

_______________________

Comment #57. Am I the first one to make this point? Let's go back and check!

Oh, for the love of buggery. I hate it when people who've never worked in the service industry bitch service personnel who are trying to do their best. SO SORRY if you're offended by my casual turns of phrase, Sir or Madam! Did my cheery "No problem!" ruin your day??? Guess what-- your snippy reply ruined mine, yet it's my job to take all your crap with a smile. And I do it, because I like paying my rent on time.

I'd love to see these complainers work a day in an apron and see how trivial most customer complaints seem. In addition, they have to take all the crap that falls on a service worker's head from management if they fail to follow the corporate-enforced policy on Every. Little. Thing.

Though it was decades ago, I well remember my turn in the service industry. I smile at my servers, cashiers and salesclerks and keep my bullshit to myself.

""are you still working on that" may be a poor choice of words, but generally the server isn't trying to rush you, unless s/he is already a crappy server in other areas. Part of the server's job is to clear your plates-most guests don't like to have dirty plates piling up at the table. The only way to know is to ask."

Agree. I used to work at a restaurant, and some people could be incredibly rude and snarky when I asked to clear their (basically empty) plates. We had small tables so clearing plates after each course was pretty much a logistical necessity. Some people are just looking to be offended.

"Strange that I seem to be the only one here to mention this, but when shopping or being served by a clerk, cashier or customer service representative, I usually wait for them to thank me for the business, because without my money the issue of “No Problem” vs “You’re Welcome” is a moot point. If I’m thanked then I can decide if “You’re Welcome”, "Thank YOU!" "Mmm-Hmm" (See how rude that sounds from the other side?) or “No Problem” is appropriate. If I’m not thanked then I might think a “Can I speak to your Manager?” is in order."

If we're talking Bloomingdales, then you're well within your rights to speak to a manager if the service is subpar. If we're talking Wal-Mart, then no, you're just being a bitch. If you're making a hefty commission or tip off my purchase, then hell you should earn it. If you're making $7.25 an hour working 8 hour shifts on your feet all day dealing with rude customers day in day out, then no I'm not expecting an outpouring of gratitude because I patronized your business.

I have no problem with "no problem". To me, it is synomymous with "it was nothing" or "dinada" (which actually means it was nothing, but is also considered "you're welcome"). What I can't stand is when people say "Uh huh" in response. That happens to me as much as not. I can't stand that! I give them the death glare in response.

I generally just find it all silly and none of it bothers me unless I am at a really formal place.

I found many of the job titles to be funny. A couple of my favorites: Pleasure specialist - what is it that they really do? and Enjoyment Engineer.

I find it humorous when companies give long, extravagant titles to entry level jobs, as well. For example, my sister is a bartender, but the establishment she works at titles her a "beverage assembly specialist." I draw blood for a living, but I'm known as a "specimen procurement technician." Huh? I could have sworn my diploma calls me a phlebotomist. Not really an irritation, but something to chuckle about, definitely.

"Guests" have been getting scorched by a phenomenon that staff at Las Vegas' new Vdara hotel have nicknamed "the death ray." The glass skyscraper magnifies the sun's rays into a shifting hot spot around the hotel's pool area strong enough to burn skin, singe hair, and melt plastic cups, ABC News reports. Hotel execs—who prefer the term "solar convergence phenomenon"—say they're working on fixing the problem.

Solar convergence phenomenon? Lol. Is that like "unfortunate melanoma occurrence" or in the case of singed hair an "unintentional olfactory/follicular assault?"

Aren't the people at Subway called "Sandwich Artists?" And I swore that someone told me their job title at Chick-Fil-A was "Fry Technician"...

Alicia, that was a nice thing to say. It's rare when someone on an Internet message board admits you've changed their mind. Thank you!

I'll agree with Shannon's response to KT Keene. In all my years of high school drudgery at various retail outlets, I never thanked anyone for their business. I was never asked to by my various managers, nor did it ever seem necessary. If you're at a bridal shop or buying a car or some other commission-type sale, sure go for it. But Target? Sorry.

Too often, companies try to micromanage and precisely script the words spoken by their employees. ("Thank you for calling Snarfer's Steakhouse, where the elite meet to eat, my name is Tiffany, I hope you're having a wonderful day, how may I assist you in realizing your fondest hopes and dreams this fine afternoon?")

Oddly enough, the companies that are so careful about planning the *verbal* behavior of their employees are often really bad at organizing the physical logistics of their operations--at Snarfer's Steakhouse, for instance, 5 waitpersons have to run around the entire floor rather than being allocated contiguous groups of tables, and the idea the people who want hamburgers might also want ketchup has never occurred to them.

Increasingly, it seems like our main activity is reciting prepackaged verbal formulae to each other.

"I'll agree with Shannon's response to KT Keene. In all my years of high school drudgery at various retail outlets, I never thanked anyone for their business. I was never asked to by my various managers, nor did it ever seem necessary. If you're at a bridal shop or buying a car or some other commission-type sale, sure go for it. But Target? Sorry."

Cornerdemon - Are you trying to say that you would have thanked your customers for their patronage had you been told to, but that it just didn't cross your mind?

I guess that's the difference between you and I. I don’t think it should matter if you are working for McDonalds or Neiman Marcus. In all MY years of high school drudgery at various retail outlets I thanked my customers for their business, and you know what? People liked it! They’d thank or welcome me back, or tell me how much they enjoyed shopping with me.

Shannon – Do you think this type of work calls for a lower standard of behaviour because you can’t expect too much from a lowly wage-slave? That the cashiers at Target don’t need to be polite to their customers because they don't get paid enough?

The entitlement attitude is leaking over into customer service, and that truly is too bad. Whatever happened to “Thank you for shopping at X-Mart.” Now it’s morphed into “You should thank ME for tolerating you getting in my way while I work!” If I thanked a cashier and he or she replied “Hmm-Mmm”, I’d think ‘Are you fucking kidding me? They don’t appreciate my business, so I’ll go elsewhere’.

This thread has been quite educational. I was under the impression that Americans had a deeply ingrained service culture and being friendly and polite was part and parcel of that culture, or has been in my experience. I don’t get too worked up about “Have a Six Flags Day!” Or “How can I provide excellent service today?” At least that shows some enthusiasm for what you’re doing. What's irritating is feeling like an inconvenience for interrupting your reverie, or a nuisance when I expect you to give me your attention while I’m giving you my money. I’m not asking for the moon here, I’m just looking for a little acknowledgement that “the business” appreciates my shopping there instead of across the street.

So, to keep on topic, if it’s considered “Consumerese” to say “Thank you for shopping at X-mart!” then I’m all for it. But I understand - People want a genuine experience, and if your cashier is a bored teenager with one eye on the clock and the other on her cellphone I guess her expectation that you thank her, and accept her “No problem” as an answer is genuine.

I find it humorous when companies give long, extravagant titles to entry level jobs, as well.

As they say, the more syllables in a job title, the more questionable the job.
I got stuck with just the opposite: Three separate jobs with one title: "Graphics".

I don't get offended with "No problem" as a response to "Thank you".

I don't see being called a client or guest as being irksome, either. I imagine it has a lot to do with how companies try to distinguish their services and highlight how they treat customers.

But how does a person respond to store cashiers saying "There you go" when they hand you back your change and receipt after you've paid for something?

I encounter this a lot in grocery stores. It gets me peevish, because it triggers me to say "Thank you" to them. Shouldn't they be the ones thanking me for shopping at their store?

I'm very keen to read about how others respond to "There you go".

@ KT Keene

customer/business relations are based on mutual respect. I generally don't thank the people that I troubleshoot for directly for their business. I say that because as a college student doing IT work (of sorts) I generally ask something of the customer during the process and thank them as much as I can for their cooperation along the way. I think the problem here is that of tangerines and oranges. If the attitude isn't right, then it won't matter how much you thank the customer for their business, they'll get the message (that they ought not comeback). At this point, as long as the attitude is correct, people get the proper message and are willing to comeback. Such a focus on semantics (yes that is what it is at this point...I'll get to that) implies that the words themselves are more important than the intention or THE SERVICE. A job well done and a cordial attitude will seal the deal more than proper diction will most of the time. The words you say aren't the only thing that speak about you or your business.

@Jen Wading

shouldn't you be thanking them for rendering a service? Once again ---->MUTUAL respect

A good number of times, I've run into motor-mouthing (mostly) young women on companies' customer service phone systems. I cannot understand a single word they say. Since I need to accomplish something, I beg their pardon, tell them I couldn't understand a thing they said, then they slow down and speak at normal conversational speed. Is this just the way young women do these day? It's not particularly a good style of speaking for the business world.

II@eryc

"customer/business relations are based on mutual respect."

That's my point, so I couldn't agree with you more.

But semantics are the point of this post -"consumerese" is semantics. It signifies an attempt by the company to demonstrate an understanding of what a customer wants, reduced to slogans. What I am asking for is that mutual respect you seem to think I'm lacking.

When I call Tech support you can bet I thank them, regardless if they thank me for using their service, because I need the help and am grateful. I shouldn't be made to feel grateful to the girl who

(sorry) ... to the person (edit went awry) who takes my cash in the parking lot.

The fact that one is dealing with a human being in these cases demands a sense of decency, but in many cases even the employers have decided these workers are expendable. It seems unwise to appear resentful of your position when you can be replaced by a machine.

I think the point is that these phrases are used to hide the fact that the persons performing these jobs just don't care. The are instructed to use pretty words to say nothing at all so no one can take offense, but at least the owners understand the importance of keeping the customer happy. That doesn't bother me, what bothers me is feeling like the person "helping" me would rather be getting a root canal.

Eryc, please explain to me how a cashier handing me back my change and a receipt is rendering me a service?

I purchased goods at their place of employment. So long as I, and others, continue to support that business with our hard-earned money, that person continues to receive a paycheck.

So yes, a "Thank you" would be much more in order than a "There you go".

That reminds me, it's almost time for our Atheist War on Christmas to begin, where we force hapless businesses to destroy the Christian faith by making them say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

I was being ironic, my views on this are pretty much the same as Amy's...

Obscure/late/untoward geek humor:

"Yes, the difference between "patient" and "client" may just be symantecs."

Especially if your antivirus protection is not up-to-date.

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General hint: you have just as big a responsibility to behave nicely as the server. Don't forget that.

If you want to start a contest as to who can be nastier, just remember that in the restaurant, the server talks to the cook. No, you cannot win in such an arrangement, however large your ego may grow. It may be time to pick another place to fight.

@KT

I agree....a poor attitude mixed with semantics makes for a horrible mix. It's stressed and flat.

@Jen

I believe that the cashier helps finish the transaction. In layman's terms: try leaving the store without talking to them first. So yes, they are rendering you a service. As far as a thank you, it wouldn't hurt for them to say it, but I wouldn't stress the word choice if they're respectful and courteous.