Just three regrets in my life, in order of import.

Not giving a home to the skittish tomcat my (cursed) sibling had in the 80s when our father moved south. :(

Not working through the issues that sweet orange Manx cat I adopted in the early 90s had then surrended back to the shelter. :(

Blowing off the advances of a particular
Asian lovely back in High School. *sigh*

Most my regrets aren't really because they involve knowledge gained later.

For example, At my first job out of school we would often times go to the place across the street. One of the bartenders was interested in me - she told me on her last day before she moved to AZ - she was cute but I have been unable to see even the slight hint that she was at all interested in me. If anything, I could see indications of a slight dislike.

I regret taking that job - I didn't realize that would be a black mark when trying to get hired at other companies for years to come.

I regret staying in my second job way too long. Though at the time it seemed like a good idea.

I regret not getting not getting my jaw fixed right when it was discovered that it would need fixing.

I found, when searching my memory, the most horrible moment. I was offered a job caring for the maritime part of the estate of one of the oldest names in citrus in Florida. Had I taken it, I would have been able to save my family business and home from the changes in legal and financial environment brought to Florida by masses immigrating from the North.
Now home is just a heartbreaking mass of concrete - a tropical barrier island buried under the ignorant asses of thousands of people trying desperately to turn it into the hell they left.

I regret not pursuing my life goals more vigorously. Ah, well, too late now. Nothing to do but start from where I am.

I had horrible post partum depression after my first kid was born. I suffered through it, didn't seek help, and unfortunately had a rotten OB/GYN at the time who didn't even ask about my mental state after giving birth. After baby #2, I found a good psych, got on meds, went to therapy, and was much MUCH happier. I regret that I didn't do that sooner, the first time, because I could have been a much better mommy to #1. Thankfully, he was only 2 when #2 was born, so mommy got better when he was still young. But I think about those days when I needlessly put myself, my husband, and my child through bone-crushing sadness, and I'm regretful I didn't get help sooner.

Oh, and I'm also sorry I didn't tell that bitchy cheerleader in high school who used to be so mean to me to go fuck herself.

My biggest regret is being blind to the red flags that flew up before I married my ex-husband. The real regret is that my self-esteem was so low that I was so desperate to be loved that I let a man abuse me. Of course I'll never regret my kids, but I do regret that I didn't choose a better father for them.

I'm only 22 so maybe I haven't lived long enough to regret anything, but I don't really have any. There are things I wish I did differently, but I do my best to live my life for the future so I would never look back and wonder if I could have worked harder to get a desired residency/fellowship/job.

I guess it depends what you prioritize in your life. I measure my success in terms of advancing my knowledge as a dental student in a very tough dental school, but my best friend measures her success in terms of planning her wedding and starting a life with her future husband. Both are equally valid but we might have significantly different types of regrets.

Amy, your theme song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Kvu6Kgp88

I can't say I regret much-not the stupid marriage to the con artist at 18, nothing, because everything that happens in life brings us to where we are, and I'm very happy where I am now. 2 things I do regret-

1) my mom bought me a little kids lipstick thing when I was maybe 8. I accidently put the lid on while it was still rolled up, and ruined it. I tossed it behind the couch. I'm sure she found it and thought I hadn't cared about it, but I had been really really excited. DOn't ask me why that bugs me, I just hate thinking mom thought I didn't appreciate it.

2) at maybe 12, my dad was sick or out of town on mother's day (don't remember which) so my older bro drove to the store and bought a cake for her. WHen we had it at lunch, mom was going to take a pic of it, and I said "Oh no don't, it looks awful!'. I was referring to a little icing that had been smudged. I really wish I hadn't said that (it was a pretty cake) when my bro had gone to so much trouble and no doubt paid for it himself.

SO yeah, I most regret things that hurt other's feelings when it wasn't justified. I don't regret bigger things, like say cheating on my college BF and breaking his heart (and mine, too) because that's what led me to my hubby now, and I'm sure he's better off now too. Plus, had I married him, I wouldn't have my kids. And I really love THESE kids.

I, like Kristen, regret that I missed those red flags of my ex's, too. Other than that, nah, I don't think I have any regrets. Except maybe that I haven't won the lottery yet (but that's a-comin'!).

o.O

In 6th grade, I dropped my best friend because she was unpopular and I knew I would have trouble making other friends. God, kids can be such shits. I regret that. She is now a high powered lobbyist in D.C. so I've seen her name on the web. I'm tempted to email her and apologize but it seems like a selfish act to make myself feel better rather than on her behalf.

1. I regret going through with my first marriage. I knew it was wrong, and I was retarded. On the other hand, part of what makes my second marriage work so well is that we're both OK with the fact that we're not fresh out of the packaging.

2. I regret getting married instead of going to graduate school. I'm having a hard time finding the motivation now, and it would have been so much easier had I done it straight out of college. And yet, two of my most meaningful friendships came out of that first job out of college.

3. I regret not being more forceful in pushing my mother to prepare for her death more effectively. She left me and my husband in a clusterfuck power struggle with my batshit-crazy sister over my father's care and the house, and that could have been so much easier for us if I'd pushed harder for her to make more binding legal arrangements.

I think it depends on how people define "regret".

If it's simply "I wish I had done something different or better", then I think most self-reflective people can think of thousands of things that they "regret" ("I wish I had studied harder in organic chemistry", "I wish I hadn't dated that woman who broke my heart", "I wish I had been more grateful to my parents when I was a teenager".) I don't think there's anything wrong with that kind of "regret" -- it's part of our life-long learning process.

But I think most people use "regret" to mean "if only I had/hadn't done that one thing, my life would be so much better". That kind of "regret" is pointless and often disheartening.

I have lots of the first kind of regret, none of the second kind.

I don't have regrets per se because I've had a wonderful life so far. It's mostly curiosity about how life would be different had I made various different choices. I think that my life would still be great with any of a number of different choices, so it really is just curiosity.

My most significant missed opportunity was not trying to date this wonderful girl in high school. She was the class valedictorian, head of the student council, cheerleader captain, and the homecoming queen. And a very nice person on top of all of that. She had every boy in the tri-county area after her and so I never tried. I bumped into her in the mall when we were in our late twenties (after I was married) and she was in med school. She admitted to me that she had a crush on me too in high school. Doh! She's now a successful pediatrician with a nice family.

I think my only regret is that I didn't recognize and deal with the anxiety disorder 20 years ago.

But considering where I am now, I've led a pretty damned charmed life.

So maybe my other regret is not having actually bothered to notice that until now.

Otherwise, no regrets. As Michael Kay would have it: that's the fallacy of the predetermined outcome.

My primary regret not getting over my shyness sooner. Being too shy/insecure/complacent made life more difficult than it had to be, branching out weed-like into things such as letting people take advantage of me, and emotional eating. I've been improving markedly over the years (not to put the whammy on it :-)), especially once I got up the courage to get serious about polishing and marketing my novels. (You and Vinnie have been a big part of that -- thanks a million!) Wish I'd started doing all the good stuff in my twenties, but it's never too late, so I'm pursuing my goals and leaving regret in the dust!

The thing in life that provides me with the most satisfaction came from a decision I KNEW I would regret, but it was the right thing to do.

My only regret is I got married thinking that I could fix someeone else's life, and I have been trying to do that ever since, to my own detriment.

I'm with the posters who said that they don't regret much because it made us who we are today, and I do pretty much like where I am.

I do regret the last thing I said to my husband before he killed himself, but all I can do about that now is try to never say hurtful things to people, because you never know if it's going to be the last time you see them.

I don't have a lot of regrets b/c I don't necessarily believe they're useful or helpful. Mostly I just feel bad about shit I'll say and it comes out wrong and I seem like a bitch...when really I just was phrasing myself wrong. I do that a lot b/c I can be a talkative spazz especially when I'm drinking.

I WILL regret something in the future if I don't accomplish this huge life goal: After I work a few more years to establish some economic security for myself and husband I want to open an indoor dog park with doggy daycare/training/agility course and a (people) gym attached to it. The idea is that if you're a member of the gym you can workout and drop your dog off for an hour to run around and get tired. I think it'll be good for people who like to workout at the gym, want to give their dogs time to burn off their energy and yet don't have tons of time to make both things happen. For me, when I get home from work I am pretty tired and taking Ruby to the park (at least a 1 hour affair) or working out sometimes becomes an either/or.

Also, the weather and dog parks in Mass can be iffy at best. For a small fee you can enjoy a clean, friendly, safe environment to run around with your dog and socialize with other dog owners. Like Gymboree but for dogs. Maybe have a little coffee stand inside with doggy biscotti.

The second part of that goal is that the business will donate all profits to animal rescue - mainly helping spay/neuter programs and getting animals out of high-kill shelters and into safe places to wait for adoption. I'd also like to have a home/yard that can accommodate several dogs so my husband and I can always have one or two foster dogs in the house. Fostering dogs is really important to keep them happy and socialized and allows the foster guardian to work on any issues the dog might have (like food aggression or leash walking). That makes them more adoptable.

Basically I just want to be Jesus of the animals. Give money to support awesome animals who are euthanized simply b/c of space/money limitations and chop the heads off of assholes who run puppy mills or abuse animals. As you can see, in my version of events Jesus is vindictive.

UW, don't beat yourself up for missing post partum when the doctors missed it too. I'm glad you got help as soon as you did because a lot of moms feel inadequate and don't want to admit they may have a problem. Be proud of yourself!
Flynne, I share the lottery regret as well.

Looking back, I can't say that I regret too much. With a lovely wife, three lovely daughters, and a pretty good job, all I can say is I've stumbled into wholly unearned good fortune!

As others have said on this thread, it's no fair saying "Gee, if I'd known then what I know now," since you didn't know then, and that's that. Similarly, you can't regret what other people did or didn't do (although I kind of wish the little blond girl in high school who passed me the note saying she's always kind of dug me had managed to do that before I was about to graduate!).

But there's always something, isn't there? I guess with me, it's not understanding completely the idea that I could, in fact, do pretty much what I wanted if I was willing to work and learn. I didn't think I could get into music school, figuring I lacked the talent (talent's only part of it). I didn't think I could join the Marines, as I didn't have the physical strength (I could have gotten it). Would I have been happy doing either? Oh, who knows? But I try to steer my girls away from that line of thinking if I can.

I actually have a boatload of regrets, but most of them boil down to doing one thing wrong; being so unsure of myself that I have lived my life pretty much as other people told me to, rather than how I wanted to live it. Marriage, career, interests, pretty much every aspect of my life has been hard-coded by people who just knew what was best, most moral, most respectable for me.

Living your life the way you want to live it is nearly as important as breathing, and not automatic, so you have to put effort into it. If anyone, parents, friends, relatives lovers, tell you that they know best for you, leave them in the dust.

"Living your life the way you want to live it is nearly as important as breathing, and not automatic, so you have to put effort into it. If anyone, parents, friends, relatives lovers, tell you that they know best for you, leave them in the dust."

That's awesome advice.

Awesome advice, but damn near impossible to implement when your life is so interwoven with others.

One: Not getting a grilled cheese sandwich from a vending machine (a VENDING MACHINE!!!) at a hostel in London.

Two: Not trying to find an internship or related job to my major while in college. It would have made finding a job after college sooo mcuh easier!

Generally, not being a nicer person.

There've been a couple times I have been very mean to people, or if not actively hostile then at least unfriendly. And I tormented my little brothers.

There were a couple times in which I treated animals in a way I consider unacceptable, that even at the time I considered unacceptable, but did anyways.

And lately I haven't been recycling, but I promise to get organized with that again when the baby is a bit bigger. I just need to get bins to make it easier to take everything to the recycling center.

See? See the lame excuses I make?

"The idea is that if you're a member of the gym you can workout and drop your dog off for an hour to run around and get tired. I think it'll be good for people who like to workout at the gym, want to give their dogs time to burn off their energy and yet don't have tons of time to make both things happen. "

That's a freackin' awesome idea. Go for it!

y'know Amy you added this comment in [I cut it down]:"We idealize the road not taken, imagining only the good things that would have resulted from our taking it, conveniently leaving out the bad that accompanies almost every choice..."

But I don't think regret has to be some logical idea. We DON'T invest them with much more than a wistfullness, wishing we had known then what we know now. Most people realize that you can never go back, and even if you could what would they change?

But those regrets inform you going foreward. Sometimes they make you kinder, sometimes meaner, but they are experiences, just like any other.

What I find most, is that what one person calls a regret, is what another person calls experience, and they both remember the things for the same reason, because they learned from them. Sometimes your life circles back and you apologize for what you didn't do right, but that is from THIS moment, not that other one. The person or thing you say sorry to, reacts at THIS time, they also cannot return to that one...

In that light, I think regrets aren't such a bad thing, if you learned something positive from it, even IF it was a negative thing at the time.

In my situation, and what I tell my kids, is that you regret what you don't do.

For me It was Cross Country. From 7th grade thru 11th grade I was on the Cross Country team. My senior year I quit after the first week. My younger brother followed me and quit as well. His social group changed and to this day I have an empty memory. I missed out on one last season with friends.

By the way, "Regret" by Guy de Mauppasant is (IMO) one of the best written, poignant short stories ever written.

http://www.readbookonline.net/readOnLine/1604/

I've always been a workaholic, even at places that took me for granted. Not only to better my skills and myself, but to better the business, even if higher-ups didn't know what they were doing.
Looking back on it all, and considering how much time and effort I sunk into it all, where else could I have done so and made an honest effort that was appreciated?

I regret not signing up for national service.

Thanks, momof4!!!

NicoleK: just stop throwing out your recycling. My husband doesn't want an extra barrel in our too-small kitchen so that's why we didn't recycle. I stopped throwing away everything that is recyclable. We reached a compromise: we save all the bottles and keep them in a trash bag behind the moveable island in the corner of the room. You can't see the stuff and it gets recycled.

If you stop throwing it out it'll annoy you enough to at least put it all in a big shopping bag in the corner of the room. Eventually it'll become easier/habit.

In my situation, and what I tell my kids, is that you regret what you don't do.

The saying is that you "regret what you don't do." I find I can regret things either way (doing or not doing). Maybe I am weird, maybe the saying is wrong, or maybe it is a matter of perspective.

I think it is perspective. For example, I mentioned that I regret staying at a job too long, though that could be viewed as not going out and looking for another job. If I had a job offer that I turned down to stay there I would probably view it differently - that I regret not taking the job offer.

Gretchen... the village I live in doesn't pick up recycling. The recycling center is only open 3 days a week, for two hours. I found myself often saying, "Oh, Ill go Monday", but then the baby would be napping, or nursing, or whatever. It's a pain in the ass. But, that's the disadvantage of the country.

It was piling up in the corner. I will get back to it, I swear, but I've been a bit overwhelmed lately.

Living your life the way you want to live it is nearly as important as breathing, and not automatic, so you have to put effort into it.

It is great in theory, but can often times difficult or even basically impossible to do. Choices in one area affect others.

For example, A guy I knew from college wanted to dress his way - this was in the time of grunge and that is how he wanted to dress - yet the jobs he wanted were all clean up, polo & khakis type jobs. Nobody would hire him for the type of work he wanted. Last I knew (along time ago) he was working as clean-up at a bar.

Another guy lived a cash life - no cards or anything. The problem came when he needed to rent or own a place on his own and no one would - there was little record of him.

I regret both my marriages. The first one not so much, as it was a phase I had to go through to get where I am. But after that divorce and a later live-in, I had a mountain of evidence that I can't live with a woman for more than a couple of years without souring the relationship. Heedless of that, I broke up a perfectly good long-distance relationship and remarried someone else. We're still together (divorce would be more expensive than staying put), but we are, as Amy once put it, "roomies for life."

When my old cat was put to sleep, they gave her one shot to make her doze off, and then the second one was the lethal injection. They asked me if I wanted to leave the room before the second shot, and I did, even though she wasn't quite all the way asleep yet and was still purring. I left my faithful friend alone before the end and will always regret it.

I spent my 40s thinking I had it knocked and had done everything "right." The regrets came much later. I regret not having a family when I was young enough to handle it. But I had never seen a successful marriage, didn't know how it worked, until it was too late. I have lots of friends and stepkids of all ages from two marriages (my first husband died) but it's not the same. Gonna be a lonely old age for me.

pirate :-( I want to hug you right now. Here, take this internet hug...You were probably overwhelmed and in some kind of emotional shock and just said yes because you were logically thinking "this sucks I need to get away". Amy's right - you most likely gave her an awesome life because you're that kind of person.

My faithful friend, Gus, died at home last year and I wasn't there. I wrapped his furry body in a blanket and told him how sorry I was that this happened to him. He was only two years old and I also regret the possibility that I didn't notice any signs he was sick. Or what if he ate something that I left around? Did my mom leave rat poison out? We didn't get a necropsy so we'll never know. I don't feel like I did right by him. So I lied in my first post - I have a regret...I I guess I just repressed it b/c it hurts.

Ok. Still at work. Eyes welling up. Must not lose my shit.

I regret waiting for the soldiers. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

But they did my nails!

Oy- I get it now.

Well thanks, Amy and Gretchen. "Scooter" had been a shelter cat, and was kind of a cranky old thing, but yes, I think I gave her a good life, and she developed some sweet ways.

To be quite honest, from her perspective, I doubt she really knew the difference. She was pretty zonked out, knew she was being petted, and seemed happy. Gretchen is right, about what it was like. Scooter was half-asleep and enjoying the attention she was getting, and I was a shell-shocked basket case, just trying to keep it together so I didn't upset her. In my weirded-out mind at the time, I was thinking 'She doesn't know she's going to get a lethal injection, she's just enjoying the happy drugs, but if she can tell how spazzed I am, she might suspect.' Goofy!

So maybe I didn't do that bad of a thing, but I do wish I had done things differently, and when it's time for the Great Pug Buddha to reclaim my sweet little Holly-berry, I won't leave her side.

Cheer up, Jesus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

I don't really have regrets either. My life from the outside looking in may seem like it was a difficult one, but from my perspective, it is what it is. I try to make decisions using the best information I have at any given time, and really would not go back. Things right now are looking really good and everything else done led up to this point!

Ah too funny! I spelled my name wrong.

Sheesh. I envy all you people with no regrets. I torture myself over which cat food to buy.

"Awesome advice, but damn near impossible to implement when your life is so interwoven with others."

"It is great in theory, but can often times difficult or even basically impossible to do. Choices in one area affect others."

To the first comment, it's a matter of degree, isn't it? One should make one's own decisions about many of the big issues in life, shouldn't one? Not to mention some of the smaller decisions, no? If your life is that interwoven with others, maybe you need some un-weaving.

To the second comment, of course choices in one area affect others, and no one can do exactly what they want all the time. That is not what I meant.

I wonder why the notion of not letting other people make decisions for you gets people so upset?

"Well, I didn't list buying Costco's Farmer John bacon (which I don't much like) as a regret, but it seemed a little petty. "

thanks for the giggle

I regret not being able to stop a dear friend from killing himself last year. The police, my ex-husband, and nearly everyone else I've spoken with have said there was nothing I could do and in fact I would've been stupid to try to interfere with a man with a gun, but I think there will always be at least a little bit of guilt and regret, such as wondering how I could've changed the outcome (hindsight, you know.il

When I was twelve, I had profound doubts about the church my parents belonged to and were raising my siblings and I in. I regret not following up on those doubts and challenging my parents. (My younger brother did five or six years later, though when he was fourteen and fifteen.)

As much as I hate to say it, since it is something I won't undo, I regret getting married. Not that I don't love my wife, and I wouldn't trade my little girls for anything, but inviting marriage law into our relationship irrevocably changed the structure of our relationship.

I've seen her through cancer twice, and I'd do it a thousand times out of love. But I really don't think it is coincidence that when uncle sam gave her certain guarantees, the mutual effort in the romance department sagged. But my little girls will never awake one day without their daddy in their home if I can help it.

Nothing different than 1 million other stories.

I regret not realizing carbs to me are like alcohol to an alcoholic 17 years ago.

Pirate Jo the cat thing really got to me. I regret putting my cat to sleep. I had her since I was a little girl and lost her only 3 years ago. When I was a child and anyone dared enter my room when I wasnt there she would stand guard and politely but profusely ask them to leave. Then when I got older and I would go out to travel she would get depressed and when I would come back she would be angry and ignore me until I apologized. I dont think there was a more loyal companion.

I only have two regrets, one that I didnt kill a certain someone once it was obvious the law wasnt going to do shit to help me. And that I wasnt strong enough to help my sister at the time

Sometimes I regret being the bringer of my own misery. I think a lot of my unhappiness in high school was a little manufactured (why was I so determined to be negative?), and if I had let it go, I think I would've really been able to get more out of it.

But then I think of college, and that was my big epiphany. I remember getting furious one day that all the promises all the adults in life made to me about college was bullshit. That life is just like high school, you never get to "graduate" out of it, and to just deal. Be who you want to be, and don't worry so much about everyone else.

So if I didn't make myself miserable in high school, I don't think I would've "found myself" in college and beyond. So while I cringe when I think of the person I was back then, I know she made me into the person I'm comfortable being today.

Hmm... I hope that made sense.

Ppen, I'm sorry to hear about your little cat. We always know we will outlive our pets, but no amount of foreknowledge can prepare us for how awful it is. But in the end, if they are suffering, you're caring more about yourself than about them if you don't have them put to sleep. Don't regret it - you did the kind and merciful thing.

And Gretchen you shouldn't blame yourself about Gus. Even at such a young age, he could have died from just about anything - it probably wasn't negligence on your part.

Obviously, it just sucks big-time to lose a pet. I think it's harder than many other losses, even our own parents, sometimes. Because our pets live with us, sometimes snuggle up to us at night and run to the door to see us when we get home. We start our mornings with them and see them every day. I can't wait to get off work so I can go home and see Holly. She is always so happy and such a wiggle-butt. How can we not love them? They just pull it right out of us.

I don't really have any regrets. Looking back, there's not much I would have changed. The failures and screw ups really have made me a better person and certainly a lot more passionate about what I'm doing.

The one regret I have was falling off the face of the earth from my college friends for about ten years. It was really depressing to see them graduate without me and at the time I had an undiagnosed thyroid issue that left me with depression, anxiety, and very bad mood swings. Then I was held back by the embarassment of not having contacted them in forever. But I got back in touch with them via Facebook. So now I just regret being a stupidhead for the better part of a decade instead of having to regret losing them from my life forever.

Pirate Jo's story hit home for me too. We very recently had to put an older cat to sleep that we rescued from an owner who gave her up. Very sweet cat, but due to being older she was also rather high maintenance (peeing all over outside the litter box, buying wee-wee pads and special food to accomodate her health issues), and I was occasionally really frustrated during the few years we had her. When she got sick enough that the hubby and I knew it was time, I felt awful for ever getting annoyed with her. In the end I was much more upset than I expected to be. So even though I know we gave her a good home, I feel regret over the exasperation and also feeling somewhat relieved that the daily clean-ups have abated.

I don't know that I've made any decisions that I really regret (well, maybe one). There are some decisions where I wonder how my life would have been different had I decided differently, but "regret" isn't really the right word -- it's mostly just curiosity.

I regret not learning, at a young age, how to be cold, hard, and calculating when it came to figuring out whom not to date. Even if it's just three coffee-house meetings or walks in the park.

That is, just as it makes sense to find out, early on, whether so-and-so does/doesn't want children, it only makes sense to determine whether that charming, well-mannered "sweetheart" just might have ulterior motives in wooing you. Such as serious money problems. (Even if you're clearly not well-off yourself.)

Trouble is, just how do you find out about those problems without asking, if there's no visible sign of them in person - or on Google? Asking "how much in debt are you" is going to sound pretty rude, no matter how you do it.

And within a year or so, you're being guilt-tripped and manipulated to the hilt. (This can start later, after marriage, of course - but not always.)

I still don't know how I could have avoided it - then, anyway - but I still hate myself for letting it happen.

Bizarrely, even the people I've told this story to don't always "get" it - e.g., years later, a very dear, gay friend of mine wouldn't speak to me for at least three months when I refused to rescue his friend (whom I don't really know) from being evicted. (If I had, I'd be worse than broke right now, assuming he wouldn't be able to pay me back within a year or so.)

What is so wrong with "neither a borrower or a lender be"? The way I see it now, borrowing money is the sort of moral disgrace that shouldn't even be talked about, much less done. (If one wants to beg for a monetary GIFT, that's sort of different - at least you're acknowledging that you're not likely to return the favor.)

Bottom line: People who have money problems should not be dating, at least not if they can't refrain from bashing innocent people over the head for help - as if the latter should be happy to be toilets for other people's problems.

Thanks PJ. And the term a wiggle-butt is perfection for pugs.

I regret turning down all the girls who gave me the 'come on' because I was too stupid to know it. It started in the 8th grade and went on until I was about 30 years old. Some of them were knock-outs. I couldn't believe they were interested in me.