The military handles it about as well as it can be done.

Doctor: Mrs. Smith, I have some great news and some terrible news.

Mrs. Smith: Tell me the terrible news first.

Doctor: You only have six months to live.

Mrs Smith: OMG! What's the great news?

Doctor: You're pregnant!

Read this one somewhere:

Doctor: Mr. Smith, you're in great shape for your age. You'll live to be 90!

Mr. Smith: But Doc, I am 90.

Doctor: Oh, well, that's it then...

Jim was away at college, talking with his sister Jill.

Jill said, "I'm sorry Jim, but our cat Fluffy was hit by a car and died".

Jim was shocked and upset. He said "Jill, why did you tell me like that? You could have said that Fluffy was looking a bit tired. Later, you could have told me that you took her to the vet. Later, you could have said that she was very sick. Finally, you could have spared me by saying that she died quietly in her sleep. That would have been easier to take."

"OK", replied Jill.

"Anyway", said Jim, "How is everything else? How is Mom?"

Jill said, "Mom has been looking a bit tired."

@MarkD: "The military handles it about as well as it can be done."

Yes, but still tough to do. I only ever had to do it once on active duty, and that was to tell one of our younger troops her Grandma had died. Didn't like doing that.

Bringing news of a servicemember's death to his or her family is something I've never had to do, and is governed by fairly strict protocol concerning how the news is presented, disposition of personal effects, explanation of survivor benefits, and other matters. I remember a young captain telling me about how, when assembling a recently deceased airman's personal items, he came across a photo of a woman that didn't resemble the airman's wife in any way. He had no idea what to do, but wound up speaking privately with the airman's father, who said not to worry, that he would take care of it. I assume the father destroyed the photo and held his peace thereafter.

Another one I read somewhere:

Mrs. Brown was walking down the street when she passed the house where little Janey lived. She spotted the girl in the back yard, digging a hole. Mrs. Brown walked up to the fence, and saw that Janey was working on a very big hole indeed.

"Janey," Mrs. Brown said, "why are you digging a hole in the yard?"

"My mousey died," sobbed the little girl, clearly heartbroken. "I'm going to bury him."

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie," said Mrs. Brown, "but don't you think that hole is a little large for such a tiny animal?"

"Yes," sobbed Janey, "but it's not too big for the damned cat that ate him!"

Mrs. O'Reilly's roadworking husband had been run over by a steamroller.

The lads went to her home, and announced the news through the locked front door. The wife replied she was too stricken to open the entrance.

The lads asked, "Would you like then that we slide him under the door, or leave him here on the porch?"

Oh, and Jenkins- apparently your mother has died...

On somber note, the Marine Corps,as I have the misfortune to know, does a wonderful job in a very difficult situation. The (HBO?) movie, "Taking Chance," is a view into that very respectful and careful way that the Corps honors the fallen.

I heard about this one on the radio yesterday. A drive-thru funeral home! Talk about a lazy way to pay your respects. It's in Compton, CA and one of the statements I heard attributed to one of the owners/family members is that it's a drive-thru born out of a drive-by generation.

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/apr/17/local/la-me-adv-drive-thru-funerals-20110417

I had a perinatologist tell me my twins would most likely die in a really shitty way. Sort of like "Well, these are the odds. Not very good, nothing we can do, sorry". The next month at my appt, she no longer worked there. I can do a damn better job that that, I'd expect someone who makes $500 or so simply to walk into my room, to do a lot better. The other Dr in the practice was spectacular. And my twins are turning 7 this weekend :)

I also had a sonogram tech tell me I'd lost a pregnancy, "see, your body is reabsorbing it here. You'll most likely pass it soon, if not come back in a week". He turns 2 years in may. Neither of these is like someone actually losing a loved one, but they devastated me each time at the time. People who are shitty at their job, or nay part of it, have no business having that job. Esp in this job market. Anyone else noticed the quality of fast food workers going waaaaay up?

@momof4 - I have noticed that there are far more older, English speaking workers at fast food places. It's a pleasant development.

A pleasant development?

Shouldn't you ask them why they're at McDonald's, etc., first?

Pleasant for them? Quite possibly not. On the other hand, they're making enough to not starve, and McD's has a great move-up policy. In fact, I think their CEO started by flipping burgers. I've done a lot of jobs that weren't my dream job, and was happy enough to get the check.

Pleasant in that they're getting hires who understand how to do a job involving the public, whether it would be their choice of employment or not? yes. Very much so.

Chik-fil-a will pay for college for their employees. I'll encourage mine to try out there, when they're old enough (which is 14, there!) A large part of the current problem in this country was made by people who simply never had to do a thing they didn't enjoy for a check, or work for something they wanted.

@Rad - I'm certain some of the employees are less than thrilled to be there. I have a few friends who have been unable to find any work in there chosen fields for a very long time. One of them recently had their unemployment benefits run out, no money coming in and bills to pay, he went to work for McDs, he's 53 and used to make 80k a year. Does he love it? Nope, but he's happy to be working. I'm happy because when I run through a drive thru for a quick bite or a diet coke when I'm on the road, I can actually understand the person on the other side of the speaker. That's one of the things I like about In-n-Out, they don't put someone whose grasp of the English language is non-existent.

There are a lot of people here with crazily HIGH expectations, communications wise.

I don't know what world you all live in, but here in my world I'm ecstatic when I find someone who is technically competent...whether its my mechanic, my colleague, my doctor or the person on the phone.

Give me the english impaired but competent dude ANY DAY over the charming but "can barely muddle through his work" guy.

I find the two are highly inversely correlated...the people with serious smooth skills NEED THEM and DEVELOP THEM because they have no other substantive skill or formal education that will pay their bills.

There is a name for these people...salesmen.

When you're dealing with a good salesman...that means you're being screwed. BY DEFINITION.

When you're dealing with a good mechanic, doctor, plumber what have you...they are saving you time and money. Their superior skills are working to your benefit, not detriment.

See the difference?