Oh, this is so painful. It brings back memories of the self-absorbed me who thought that everyone should love the overwhelming odor of gardenias. It was only when I began to notice people quietly exiting my space that it occurred to me that maybe I didn't smell so wonderful after all.

Fortunately, I took that lesson to heart - even though no one said anything to me - and for the past 40 years, my only perfume is what accompanies a freshly-bathed body.

Maybe, even though it was terrible for you, she noticed and will learn (one can hope, anyway). You didn't say anything? I suppose that wouldn't have helped in this scenario.

There is a way of wearing perfume so as not to bother people in close proximity but I agree that knowing you're going on a small plane is reason to skip it for a day.
My best friend used to be that perfume freak. She started with the body wash, the lotion, the powder, the perfume, then the hair spray, and then carried the body spray version for spritzes throughout the day. While perfume doesn't bother me, it took one weekend in a hotel room and hours waiting to go out while she engaged in her perfume ritual, before I asked her when she was going to stop pissing all over the world with her stench. It probably wasn't the best way to go about it but she got the hint. She has been perfume free for about ten years now and many people have thanked me.

As a guy, I can tell you ladies that perfume is most effective when it's subtle. Guys know what I'm talking about here: you have that memory of a scent that becomes associated in your mind with an attractive woman, and the memory comes back to you when you think of her. So ladies, that's what you want: you want the perfume to be associated with your immediate and close presence. That won't happen if it's still lingering an hour after you've left. Additionally, if you've drenched yourself with perfume, there's an implication that you did so in order to cover up something malodorous, and the conclusion that people jump to is that you have poor hygiene.

I live very near Dulles so if you're ever stranded or miss a connection or need any local help, please let me know. It would be an honor to provide any assistance.

Perfume is suppose to draw people in, not repel people like some kind of stinky force field.

I wear perfume everyday, but no one knows or notices unless they are very close to me.

Also, patchouli wearing should be a capitol offense. Gah.

Your fragrance, the way I see it, should be something someone can smell if they lean close to you or hug or kiss you. I learned from a French friend to buy the parfum rather than the cologne. It seems to last longer but in a subtler way.

Aww, thanks! That warms the cockles of my little lump of coal heart.

I'm always amused by the assumption that because someone is a practical or realistic thinker, that it means they are also heartless. As someone who is more of an emotional thinker, I wish that sometimes I was more practical. I try, but old habits die hard.

My husband is really sensitive to fragrance. I love Opium (the perfume), but he has a strong, unpleasant reaction to it in the name of puffy eyes and sneezing, which is not the impact I'm going for. I leave the bottle at work so I can wear it there. It's a wide open space and I wear a little, so I think it's fine.

As for the scents I wear around him, I spot test a little and have him tell me what he thinks. That way, I can wear something that smells good to both of us. In small doses.

I haven't worn perfume in years, mainly because BF is allergic to it. I also have a problem with a lot of flowery fragrances, and they cause me to sneeze and my eyes to water. Frankly, scented candles are just as bad. I once had a girl in the office next to me who burned something that literally made me sick.

I am allergic to all artificial scents (or rather one of the petroleum products used as a scent-extender). Exposure to an artificial scent gradually causes mind-bending migraines. Perfumes, candles, potpurris, colognes, even some soaps. Axe products are the worst.

So air travel is pretty much guaranteed to knock me on my ass for the rest of the day. Early morning flights are the worst. Who the hell needs a signature scent if they're traveling at 5AM? Especially if they're still wearing pajamas?

I've taken to confronting the nearest offenders at the end of the flight in a "Hey you may not know this but . . ." tone. I try to be polite.

Now the family members who *know* I have the allergy but still wear scents anyway and tell me "Oh I hope this one doesn't cause you problems and I didn't put that much on." For them I have decided to fake dramatic breathing problems the next time it happens. I'm *really* tired of the annual Christmas migraine.

I think people assume that if they can't smell perfume on themselves then they're not wearing enough. BIG mistake! I've heard it recommended that it's best to spritz the air once or twice and walk through the mist. Better still, do it immediately after a shower while your pores are open. The scent will last, but it's not overpowering.

For them I have decided to fake dramatic breathing problems the next time it happens.

I sure hope your family members are as dumb as you apparently think they are. It's a safe bet they already suspect you're being a drama queen; if they spot you faking they'll be 100% sure.

http://www.hoppes.com/products/solvents.html

Now that is some good smellin' stuff. Just a dab behind the ear, men will follow you to hell. Or at least to the mall, which is pretty much the same thing.

I have a reaction to alcohol based perfumes, so I have to wear oil based. Guess which ones are more expensive? So yeah, I'm really stingy with it, and only wear it on special occasions. Not to mention, if people can smell me coming from 30 feet away, I've given up the element of surprise ;)

As for patchouli, I've only ever smelled it on pot-smoking hippies, the theory being that it masks the smell of the weed, probably. Or the BO. It does neither, but then the people wearing it are not the brightest crayons at the daycare.

I was told that in the 30's & 40's women would wear vanilla, cinnamon, and clove oil to suck a guy in.

The smells would remind guys of home cooking, etc. That way women would find a hubby.

"I think people assume that if they can't smell perfume on themselves then they're not wearing enough"

That's it exactly. If you can smell it yourself, you are wearing too much!

And Cousin Dave's post above is right on. I still remember the scent used by one girlfriend, whom I haven't seen in nearly 30 years. She used the scent exactly the way he describes.

Wow dee nile, aren't you the most clever thing around to be able to tell I don't actually have an allergy. What a perceptive judge of humanity you are, even over the internet!

That's absolutely not what I said. I take your word for it that you have a genuine allergy.

But some in your family apparently don't (as evidenced by the fact that they continue to wear scent around you). And if you exaggerate your real reactions, they're going to pick up on the exaggeration, and will assume they were right all along.

Unless they're stupid.

Amy, it could have been worse.

Years ago, I was complaining to my boss that the computer room smelled like "dead animal." The boss actually started to pick up floor boards (it was one of those super-cooled air-conditioned computer main-frame rooms with the elevated floor to run wires underneath) looking for a dead mouse or something. We couldn't find anything.

Later, he discovered the reason for the "dead animal" smell. The one woman who sat in there once in a while apparently only washed her beehive hairdo once every couple of months.

Even with my asthma, I'll take too much perfume over that any day. It might not be easy; but you can tell someone that you have a sensitivity to perfume. However, no matter how polite you say "you need to bathe" it will still sound like "you need to bathe, stinky!"

To Charles:

I don't see why a boss should have to be diplomatic about something like that. It's unacceptable, and any adult should know that, so why should the boss have to worry about hurting the smelly person's feelings?