An obvious reason to meet parents before marriage is to see what kind of family you're getting involved with.

When I first me my wife's parents, which happened well after our relationship had become serious (living across the country will do that) I was quite interested in whether they were sane and had a good relationship (they are and they do).

Awesomeness about the looks thing. My mom is 50 but everyone thinks she is 30. People assume my stepdad is her father which when told he is her husband they protest as to why she married such an old man.

At least I got lucky with my family in one aspect!

I haven't found the mother's appearance to be especially predictive. Some women I know really have grown to look like their mothers, but most haven't. Where there does seem to be a correspondence is in how the mother has taken care of herself. If she's someone who'd hit 40 and just let herself go, then their daughter often will as well.

I am really not surprised that many women let themselves go after 40. Men practically do not even seem to "see" 40+ women, so they (women) lack the first motivation to look good, which is to be attractive to men. And dieting + excercising + doing hair + nails + depilation + + + is really hard work and takes a lot of energy and time.

I look just like my dad, or, infact, like his sister, my aunt. Same face, same body build, same coloring, same height. Same genetic proclivities (low BP, stomach issues, etc.) When my husband met my mother, he actually said something like, "Well, so much for that theory!" The one way in which I am aging like my mother is that we have both shunned the sun all of our lives, so we both have great skin. BTW, my mom looks AWESOME for her age, while Dad is fit but does look his age. Thank goodness for me, society is more accepting of women who color their hair.

While it wasn't the ONLY reason he broke up with her, one of my friends dumped a girlfriend shortly after meeting her mother- who very closely resembled Roseanne Barr. (The girl was also annoying. I don't think you can get much worse than annoying and bound for obesity.)

Men practically do not even seem to "see" 40+ women, so they (women) lack the first motivation to look good, which is to be attractive to men.

Some of that is reciprocal. A lot of women that age don't seem to have much interest in a romantic relationship. They're onto another phase in their life. They may want companionship, but they're really looking for a man sized cat that can help with the bills. So their appearance is probably reflective of their desires.

My mom and I definitely have a family resemblance, which is good, because we both usually pass for someone 10-20 years younger (this is the ONLY good I got out of my genes, TRUST ME).

And norm, shut up. I'm 44. I have a cat and a boyfriend, and I can assure you that a) I know the difference and b) I'm not looking for someone to pay my bills. I am quite self- sufficient, thank you.

My husband would have been disappointed, since I'm adopted. Also, I have high hopes that I won't look like my birth mother, who did A LOT of hard drugs until she was about 40. I can see a resemblance, though. I'm starting to get some wrinkles in the some of the same places.

I have an aunt who was in great shape until she died in her 70s. She could wear thigh-length form-fitting dresses and rock them (for an old lady, of course. Even when you're in shape, sagging and wrinkles still apply). Some people were embarrassed by her. I always thought she was awesome.

"They may want companionship, but they're really looking for a man sized cat that can help with the bills."

Norm, that is priceless.

When I was internet dating in my early 50's, I found that the majority of the women were obese. Their approach to finding a man was to whine on the forums that, "Men should see the beautiful person I am inside."

The great part of dating in your 50's is that you don't have to wait to see what she will look like.

Nie wrote:

"Men practically do not even seem to "see" 40+ women, so they (women) lack the first motivation to look good, which is to be attractive to men."

My preferred age range was a few years younger to a year or two older. When I met my wife, she was 50 and I was 53.

And norm, shut up. I'm 44. I have a cat and a boyfriend, ...

Do you date a lot of women your own age?

I know that it's not PC to bring up the issue, but everyone knows it. And I'm not saying that it's all women, so calm down.

""Men practically do not even seem to "see" 40+ women, so they (women) lack the first motivation to look good, which is to be attractive to men."

No, the first motivation to look good should be to feel good about yourself! As well as looking attractive and put together makes you look more professional, approachable, friendly, etc. As an aside this is why I can't understand when women stop shaving their legs in winter because "no one can see them." Who cares if no one can see my legs; I can see and feel my legs and I like them to feel smooth, thankyouverymuch!