my experience is that kids don't ask annoying questions... what they do is ask the same question 50n+1 times, and that part is annoying.

#1 all time rank is "Are we there yet?"
#2 probably "what's for dinner?"

I think what people are most annoyed with in children's questions is questions that make the person answering uncomfortable. Asking if turtles have penises isn't a big deal unless the kid asks it at the top of their lungs in the middle of the grocery store...

heh, that's prolly a tangent away from what you are looking for, sorry. ;)

annoying question for the hundredth time, that you have answered the same way the last 99 times?
"are you going to get back together with mama?"
There are complex reasons for the kid to ask this, but that doesn't make it less annoying.

Eventually the kid is old enough for you to ask back 'do you think it would be a good idea?'
when you get the reply "no" they stop asking.

"Hey, mister, do you want to help out my school/summer camp/Fagin and some buy magazines/light bulbs/wrapping paper/awful chocolate ..."

If I know you or your parents, great.

If you're outside the supermarket, not so great.

If you're ringing my front doorbell, you are annoying.

My daughter used to ask, "why?" about everything. It was really annoying. No matter what topic, her follow-up question was always, "why?" Asking why isn't so annoying as asking why no matter what's discussed and no matter how many times you give the reason for the why.

This one falls under the "embarrassing/awkward" category of questions. When my daughter was around 9 yrs old, she came to me and asked, "Mom, why do women like their men to be big?" I very nearly fell on the floor! Finally, I managed to choke out an age-appropriate response, but for the life of me, I don't remember what it was.

We just got back from a geology field trip with the boy scouts. One of the exhibits was coprolites, or mineralized dinosaur poop, in crystalized rock form. One of the boys asked "did dinosaurs really poop rocks?"

I just asked my boy to ask any question, no matter how strange. He's gonna think on it...

"Jenny's parents let HER do it! Why can't I do it?" or variations thereof...

Straying in to Art Linkletter territory...

youtube.com/watch?v=fCHIM-bGiTI

I had a conversation with my 5 year old about heaven.

Her: Is Heaven real?

Me: Nope.

Her: Grandma says there is a Heaven.

Me: Grandma is wrong. That is what we call wishful thinking.

Her: What happens to you when you die?

Me: You end up helping everything that is alive. You know, help trees grow 'n stuff.

I then had to convince her that there wasn't a body buried under every tree.

My son came home and reminded me of the most annoying question ever, "Mom, can I have some money please?" Next annoying is, "Mom can I borrow the car?"

My daughter likes to ask questions like, "Will I have big, fat boobies like Mommy's when I grow up."

Oddly enough, since my wife is all of an "A" cup she doesn't consider this insulting at all. I think my daughter was about 6 when she came out with that one.

You also get sweet questions like, "Daddy, will you still be alive when I grow up and have a child?" There are lots of ways to answer that but I just said "Yes dear, of course I will." Some questions are more about reassurance than they are the quest for literal truth with its caveats and percentages. Knowing the difference is part of the art of parenting.

Oh, and I just thought of another one. She asked me if WWII was where Papaw worked and which side he worked for. She used to look for him in all of the battle scenes on TV.

She also had a pretty cute way of describing the difference in private parts between a man and a woman but that was never posed as a question so we can skip it I guess.

If you're outside the supermarket, not so great.

Unless it's Girl Scout cookies. In that case, my response is, "How much for all the thin mints you have on you?"

Kristen at least he is honest enough not to use the word borrow when asking for money

"What?". Doesn't have to be a kid asking it. When I say something, and the response is "What?" is makes me want to tear my hair out.

Things like "do turtles have penises" and the like I enjoy, because I get to think about things I may not have, and explain it, and they come up with some awesome ideas too.

"Is that a lady or a man" is one I hate hearing, because it's inevitably asked within earshot of the subject. It's always been a genuine innocent inquiry by a toddler/preschooler, but they always manage to ask it when I'm caught off guard and not in the mood for the whole "some men wear or look like ___ and some women wear or look like ____, but it's very impolite to talk about the way someone looks where they can hear you" conversation.

I was never meant to be a person with a kid, but I love it now. Totally unexpected, but it is the most fulfilling thing I could imagine. I used to wretch these questions, but am now charmed by them all. My only defense is that God does seem to have a sense of humor, and we can only laugh back at him equally, which is the most I hope from my boy.

Various questions I have been asked by my children, the first one this morning...:

How come when you drink grape juice it comes out yellow?

(on the bus, sitting beside a geriatric black woman) Are black people black on the inside too?

Why do we need money? Why can't everything be free?

If money doesn't grow on trees, why is it made out of paper? And why are banks in branches?

Why are Grandma's boobs so low? (HAHAHAHAHA!!! Loved it!)

(These next four were asked at my cousins wedding reception...in order, I might add...)

Does God poop? Pee? Fart? Burp?

Will God die?

Does God have sex? Who did he have sex with?

Are Will and Jane gonna have sex?

(in the middle of the check out line) Mommy, what does masturbation mean?

Why are there no sharks in Alberta?

Hubby would also like to add...

"why do farts tickle on the way out?"

"what's a boner?"

"why do boys have nipples?"

"why do I have to hide my nipples but you don't have to hide yours Daddy?"

From my 2-year-old son, "Mommy, why do you have balls on your chest?"

Thanks - a lot of these are just great!

My favorites are the exceedingly honest ones they ask while right by the person they're asking about.

I was on the line at the grocery check out. The girl right behind me asked her mother.

"Mommy, why doesn't he open his eyes?"

I remember being an acne-covered teenager and having a neighbor's kid ask me if I had chicken pox.

Now I'm just an adult with acne, and people are more polite.

"Who do you like more, Uncle Robert, me or my brother?"

"Why don't people from Mexico and Japan speak English?"

My nephew asked me "aunt meloni, will i ever be old like you are"? I was 29.

Ah, I can't wait for my daughter to get to that age! I remember the following conversation between my mom and youngest brother, and it cracks me up every time:

"Mom, Dad turns on the sprinklers so the grass will grow, right?"

"That's right, son."

"And Alex mows the grass so it will be short?"

"Yes..."

"Then why doesn't Dad just stop watering the lawn so it doesn't get tall in the first place?"

My 4 year old son following a crash in the kitchen:

"Mom, why does everything I do always happen to me?"

Just post by a friend on facebook. his daughter asked him:

Daddy, why aren't people paying attention to her like that lady on TV?
Huh?
Uncle Mike said she is a queen.
Different kind of queen.
oh. Daddy, did you want to grow up to be queen when you were a little boy?
NO!!!!!! And thanks mike!

He is a very masculine dude.

This exchange, when I was 11:

Me: "Mom, what's a cunt?"
My mother: *very guarded expression* ".....it's a crude word for a woman's genitals. I don't want to hear you say it ever again."
Me: "Ok. What's a twat?"
Mom: "It's the same thing. Where are you hearing these words?"
Me: "I read them. What's a prick?"
Mom: *patience obliterated* "IT'S A DICK."

My poor mother.

While driving a friend and his 6 year old on an errand I shared some gum that I had. From the back seat comes the question.
"Daddy, if I swallow my gum and I fart... Will it blow a bubble from my butt?

My middle daughter, then four or five and in nursery school, had a little-girl-crush on a rambunctious little boy in her class. She asked me: "Daddy, how old were you when you and Mommy got married?"

I told her, "Oh, I was thirty, I guess."

"Oh," she said, and after a pause, "Well, Daddy, how old to you have to be?"

She's fifteen now and hates it when I tell that story!

When my dad took my kids swimming for the first time-- "Grandpa! Why is the hair on your belly gray but the hair on your head is black? Is it MAGIC?"

Overheard in a crowded public restroom, from a little girl, about 4 who had just gone into a stall with her mother.

Little girl, with outdoor voice. "Mommy why do you have all that stuff all over your va-giiiin-uh?"

(restroom falls silent)

Mommy, whispering "It's hair. Grown up ladies have hair, sometimes. Now Shhhh, your voice gets really loud in here."

Little Girl: "Yuck! I don't ever wanna be a grown up lady if I have to get all that HAIRY STUFF on me!"

When I was a little girl, we took a tour of a replica Native American village. The tour guide explained that the Indians slept in these hammock-type things. And I, being concerned for my overweight parents, piped up with "But where did the fat Indians sleep?". Man, my parents loved to tell that story for the longest time.

One of my favorite stories of overhearing conversations at the library was when a mom was reading her little girl "The Swan Princess" and they get to the part where the prince goes swan hunting. "Mommy, why is he going to shoot swans?" The mom's answer? "Oh, you know how boys are."

Anytime in a public restroom, I dread hearing the little voice from the next stall over ask: "Is someone pooping in over there?"

Looking at me when I had a facial injury, a little girl said, "Mommy, is that a monster?"

"Why do you have a big belly?"

"Would it be bad if I killed Daddy?" I assured him it would. He wanted to marry me, but thought that daddy stood in the way.

"Why does your baby have red hair?" As a matter of fact, it wasn't just children who asked this. The adults were worse - they persisted. One man yelled at me saying that my child was not my husband's.

From a 4 -year-old:
"Can you get a mosquito bite on your penis?"

My answer- "Possibly, if you leave it out long enough outdoors."

6 year-old- sister's reply- "If you do, I'M not putting on the itch cream "

I'm loving reading the questions. It brings back so many sweet memories of the things my kids used to say and ask and even some that weren't so sweet but were innocent.

Mine's not annoying, but damn funny.

My family is Catholic, and as such, we went to Catholic school. So, in our minds, there were Catholic school kids and public school kids.

My sister was probably around 6 or 7, and I was two years older, old enough to appreciate the humor. We left church one Sunday, and she looked over the back seat of the Malibu at my mother, and with all the sincerity a small child can muster, said, "Mom, if you're not Catholic, are you Public?"

How my mom didn't bust out laughing is beyond me, but she managed to keep it together long enough to explain it.

Good times.

Oh, and double post to point you to a blog of a friend of mine. Her six-year-old is priceless:

http://thetaoofmax.blogspot.com/

Kids should be taught early that questions about strangers and observations about people's looks should be made in private. Certain topics, like private body parts, are for home only.

I think that's just Manners 101.

My parents did a great job with this, and they disciplined us when we "forgot."

Ah, the joys of the articulate child...especially the ones that don't baby-talk, so everyone else understands their embarrassing question.

The one I never knew how to answer was when we were out and about and we saw a fat person, and kidlet would demand to know why they were so big in a very loud voice.

"I don't know, sweetie - want to pick out some candy?" usually distracted them.

13 yr old: "What's oral sex?"

I blush and try to answer.
Me: "It's when a man puts his penis in someone's mouth instead of their vagina."

13 yr old: "Oh, it's a blowjob!"

I forget he rides the bus with high school kids. He could probably teach me something!