Well taking a look at on the map it actually is closer to a flat 4 miles walking.

I could understand an investigation if the kid were walking where there were no sidewalks, but this was not rural.

The problem is that to be consistent, they have to enforce this. I'm sure the law is that you can't leave your 10 yr old home alone (in most states that age is 11 or 12), so you can't let him walk 4 miles alone in the cold either.

Frankly, I think that was bit much. Mom overreacted. A mile is one thing, but 4 miles in 30 degrees? I know our generation (and the one before us) like to say we did that when we were kids, but really? I never did. Even if I'd usually walked to school, my parents would've given me a ride in that kind of weather.

Criminal Child Neglect:
http://works.bepress.com/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1010&context=david_pimentel

4 miles? Over flat terrain? Whoopty fucking doo. I do that to get to get to work virtually every day.

When I was a boy, I went away from the house all day long on weekends. No cell phone, no phone calls, I'd just leave in the morning and be back in the evening. Today, that is an amber alert.

Child abuse used to mean something. It meant the kid was getting burned by lit cigarettes, it meant the kid was having their limbs broken, starved (and I mean STARVED, not deprived of dinner or desert), it meant they went without vital medical treatment and it meant they were suffering serious injuries.

Now it apparently means: Child had to walk to school. "something" might have happened.

The big problem here is that it assumes that all manner of horrible things are inevitable if parents don't watch their children constantly.

Yes he "may" have been abducted or injured. But stranger danger is largely horse shit. Those few cases that make the national news...those are virtually the only ones there are.

Besides, this is a 10-11 year old kid. Not a fucking toddler.

The mother is guilty becomes an amorphous "something" "might" happen...is not a basis for good law. If she were making him walk to school in 30 degree weather wearing a thong...then she's guilty. But I doubt that is the case.

My husband calls this the CNN effect. Even though things are statistically safer for children than ever before (including risk of kidnapping), because parents read about every child snatched off the street as far away as Outer Mongolia, they have an outsize fear of threats. And because it is their child, appeals to logical thinking have no impact.

Four miles is a long walk. I bet if the kid had finished it, he wouldn't have been as inclined to act up on the bus in the future.

I used to walk home at 10, but it was a straight shot and only took me 10 or 15 minutes. I don't think people realize though how long 4 miles is on foot, and most of them probably can't do it. I can run 4 miles in around 37 minutes. That's gonna take a kid walking in the cold well over an hour. While the mom shouldn't have been charged, she still shouldn't have had him walking that far alone.

Real child abuse is naming your child "Nequavion."

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences."
-- C.S Lewis

I wouldn't have done it. But if she was doing it once to make a point, then it was none of the state's business. 4 miles is a pretty good distance. I'm betting it would've have taken him close to 2 hours-kids have shorter strides.

If that kid does any physical activity at all, walking for 1-1.5 hrs should not be a big deal other than s/he doesn't get to sit in front of their x-box.

I don't think people realize though how long 4 miles is on foot, and most of them probably can't do it. I can run 4 miles in around 37 minutes. That's gonna take a kid walking in the cold well over an hour. While the mom shouldn't have been charged, she still shouldn't have had him walking that far alone.

Huh? 4 miles at a typical walking pace is 1 hour and 20 minutes. 30 Degree weather is not particularly cold, as long as its not raining.

What do you mean "most probably can't do it"? Any healthy adult (or kid) ought to be able to walk four miles. If someone can't, there's something seriously wrong with them.

The big question is: how does one put a stop to this idiocy. Child endangerment? Unbelievable. How do we get ridiculous laws like this thrown off the books?

So this lady is hauled to court faces fines and maybe jail time but when it happens to a 6yr old in Kentucky and it is the schools fault nothing happens: http://www.wlky.com/news/30385234/detail.html

I realise this is a completely different state etc but come on double standards much??

While some may think Ms Borders may have gone a bit over-board in this punishment but really after her son is suspended from the bus for the 5th time what should you do? The only thing I would have done differently if I was in her position is probably walk either with him or behind him a bit, as she was on a vacation day from work, that way if one of the predators that seem to be on every corner or a busy body like the security guard that called the police were around I would be there to intervene.

Seriously the government and it's agencies like CPS need to take a step back let parents parent their children and focus on the real cases of abuse and neglect.

Tar and feathers is called for. I have zero sympathy for the state's position. We need a law that says that any state employee with police or licensing powers can be voted out of state employment by referendum.

"I know our generation (and the one before us) like to say we did that when we were kids, but really? "

LS, I certainly did it. As early as the first grade, I walked to school (about a mile, where we were living at the time) in almost any kind of weather except for very cold or pouring down rain. And in junior high, when we had exam weeks, I was often done with my exams by noon. Instead of sitting around school all afternoon with nothing to do, I hoofed it home, and it was around four miles. At a brisk pace I could do it in about an hour. I even walked through a traffic tunnel as part of the route. No one thought twice about it.

As a one-day punishment, I do not see this as child abuse. And "filing charges" is paperwork - police are no longer given a great deal of discretion. But if a prosecutor does not throw it - and any record, or references to Child Services - away, then there is a lot more wrong.

Yes, I often walked to the three schools I attended from K-12. The longest, though, was just under two miles - so I would try to get up in rime to cadge from Dad for the trip in, even though it meant getting up around 5:30, and a friendly maintenance guy would let me in when he got there about 7AM...

For the commenters who say that four miles twice a day eould not have troubled them a bit, where is your Boxing title or Olympic medal? Matbe you cold do it, even would have done it, nut not be bothered by such a "small" thing?

"This mother didn't beat her child -- she parented him in a way that might keep him from ending up in juvey or jail. I'm all for it."

How can you know that for sure? Based on her punishment you would think the way things were run at home that the kid wouldn't have misbehaved enough to get thrown off the bus FIVE times.

I get a little tired of the what we did as kids arguments. Yes, we rode in cars with no child safety seats, seat belts were optional, and dad could throw back a few beers with the friendly neighborhood patrolman and get behind the wheel. It doesn't mean because we did it that it was better.

One other thing. I live in a very safe neighborhood with relatively low crime. My daughter goes to private high school and there is a man going around right now trying to lure the girls into a car. A few times he has exposed himself. Until they catch him the kids are not allowed to walk to the nearby pizza place for lunch. There's been a few similar incidents in nearby towns and the police are not sure if it is the same person.

I don't let the fear of kidnapping rule my life but I look at where my kids have to walk and how much activity there is before making that decision. It isn't a blanket, "I walked so you will too."

When I was ten years old, I lived in rural Missouri but I had no issue with walking to a friend's house approximately three miles away. Granted, in that area there wasn't stranger danger, but there were snakes, bears, and wild cats. And I crossed a waist high creek or so. That was '96...I didn't think I lived an unusual childhood, until I moved away. Hard to believe between distance and fifteen years that the world has changed so much.

I just went and did a check on Google Maps. I walked 1.2 miles to school when I was a kid, but it seemed to be at least 10 in my memory! Nevertheless, I normally wasn't made to walk when it was really cold (defined in Texas as anything under 35 degrees).

Still, I wonder why no one has suggested what (to me) is obvious: just because there *IS* the possibility of the child being harmed, getting too cold, being snatched, however remote, the mother should have walked right beside him every step of the way (not to help or entertain or carry books, or anything of the sort), or shadowed him by a block or two. If it won't hurt him, it won't hurt her. No, she shouldn't **have** to, but there are lots of things we have to do that we really wish we didn't. That would have saved her a trip to jail (and now, who's gonna take care of the kid?)

Kristen is right. No parent wants to be paranoid, but media has made us aware of certain threats, and that can't be changed. Our parents didn't have that information, like we do today.

As a parent, if you're made aware that there is some weirdo exposing himself to young girls within a 4 mile radius of your home, you're not going to let your child walk to school alone. And if you're a dog owner, and you hear that there's a dognapper out there in your neighborhood, you're not going to let Fluffy out alone for a walk.

The odds may be low, but why take the chance that it's going to be your precious child or dog?

Plus, we're all speaking as those who've survived. The kids who got snatched or killed can't speak. Yet, many kids were killed or molested when their parents weren't watching.

The fact that the odds are low is partly because parents today are overprotective. It's the irony of odds. We're using the fact that so few kids these days are kidnapped/molested to blame the overprotective parents for being overprotective when perhaps that's the very reason the odds are low.

Plus, we're all speaking as those who've survived. The kids who got snatched or killed can't speak. Yet, many kids were killed or molested when their parents weren't watching. -- LS at February 19, 2012 7:49 PM

I'd love to see the numbers on the snatched or killed that can't speak. Once you can prove that helicopter parenting has made an actual difference, then I'll go along. Until then, I won't regard the world as substantially changed from when I was a kid.

*****Frankly, I think that was bit much. Mom overreacted. A mile is one thing, but 4 miles in 30 degrees? I know our generation (and the one before us) like to say we did that when we were kids, but really? I never did. Even if I'd usually walked to school, my parents would've given me a ride in that kind of weather.*****

I did. Voluntarily. I had 7th period off in high school, and walked the 5 miles home rather than wait an hour for the bus. And my mother didn't even know what a "wind chill factor" was until one of the neighbor ladies called and asked her if she was driving us to school because of it. You just put on more layers and went.

Probably why I'm not a pussy today.

"I'd love to see the numbers on the snatched or killed that can't speak. Once you can prove that helicopter parenting has made an actual difference, then I'll go along. Until then, I won't regard the world as substantially changed from when I was a kid."

I had two child molesters living across the street from me in separate houses so I'd say the world hasn't changed substantially. Our access to information has. Still, as I said, I don't let fear of kidnapping or molestation rule me, but I do pay attention to certain things.

And as I said, "we did it" is not exactly a great or scientific based argument. We did a lot of things we shouldn't have done. I also walked to school everyday 6 miles uphill both ways in the snow. Does that story sound familiar? Anyone?

I think it boils down to where exactly the kid was walking. It's one thing if it it was 4.5 miles of sidewalks down the middle of Main Street, or through fields and backyards where other neighborhood kids were walking to school too. I suspect those were the circumstances for most of the "When I Was Your Age" crowd, which is why it wasn't considered a big deal back then.

On the other hand, in the rural suburbs where I live now, there are no sidewalks and to get to the local elementary school you'd have to cross and walk along busy roads that aren't built for pedestrians. To ensure you arrived at school by 8:30 you'd have to leave at 6:30-7am. During the winter it's still dark then which increases your chances of not being seen and getting hit by a car. And it's also rush hour. If you wanted to walk along my heavily-trafficked street in the dark during rush hour then you're an idiot with a death wish; if you make your kid do it then it's child abuse.

The two situations are incomparable. It's like the difference between spanking your child and beating him with a belt buckle, or between leaving your 16 year old home alone for the weekend and leaving your 6 year old home alone for the weekend. Until we know more details about the area that he walked, we can only speculate as to whether the punishment is merited and whether this is child abuse. The fact that it was such a long distance (4.5 miles might take a 10 year old 2 hours) and in below freezing weather aren't quite as relevant, but they don't exactly add up in the mom's favor. Two hours of walking in below-freezing weather is a lot for anyone, especially a 10 year old who might not know the way too well and might be carrying a backpack that weighs half as much as he does. It seems like most parents would weigh these factors and decide on a less-risky punishment, so I have to wonder if mom really thought about it or whether it was just "Oh, you got kicked off the bus? Well you can damn well get your own self to school." There are plenty of ways to effectively punish a kid that don't put them in any danger, and it's a little suspicious that mom just happened to pick the one that got her out of the inconvenience of giving the kid a ride.

Exactly, Shannon. I'm not an overprotective mom. I let my son camp alone in the Everglades and get his pilot's license at 16, but certain things have changed. Partly, we're more aware of potential dangers, but, in some respects, there are more danger.

In my small town, there's a guy who wanders up and down the bike path wearing nothing but plastic bags. We call him "plastic man", and he's probably harmless...maybe a little schizophrenic...nothing a few meds couldn't take care of, except he can't be forcefully medicated.

There are a few other such psychotic characters who mutter to themselves, and live under a bridge, all of whom my child would likely encounter on the way to school.

Back when we were walking the 4 miles to school, in sleet and snow, these mentally ill types would've probably been institutionalized, but that's not the case now. It's not as easy to do, so they're on the streets and under bridges.

Of course, the likelihood that they would harm a 10 yr old walking alone to school is remote, but...it's your kid. Are you really going to take that chance and feel good about it?

Look its only natural for a parent to worry when their kid is going out alone.

There is to much emphasis on "feeling good" about doing it though.

Of course you're not going to feel good about it. My parents don't "feel good" about my repeated visits to war zones. duh.

But you learn to live with NOT feeling good about some things, because it is the very act of doing those things that lets children grow into independent fully functioning adults.

-----------

As far as there being "two child molesters" living across from you Kristen, that begs the question, how do you know they were child molesters? I mean 19 year olds having sex with their 16 year old girlfriend end up on the same lists as 40 year olds that lure 5 year olds into their cars. It was discussed on this very blog awhile back when a man was charged with exposing himself to a little girl when she wandered into the men's bathroom while he was taking a leak. And a teenage boy who was accused by a girl's psychotic mother as he tightened her straps for a ride at a carnival. There are a lot of ways to call someone a molester, and a lot of them are just stupid.

Our access to information has changed sure, but a lot of that information is just plain WRONG.

The fact here is that the danger to the kid was so bloody remote that it was ridiculous for some fucktard to have ever bothered calling the police.

Good god, it takes me about an hour and a half to do 4.5 miles 5 days a week. Sometimes I get it done faster because I'm in a hurry, other times I take my time. But it is by no means difficult.

And 30 degree weather...come now, unless there is a nasty wind chill and some rain, that is barely worth an utterance of "brrr" and I don't even live in a climate where I'm used to it. (It gets that way a few times per year here in Georgia). Where that kid is, its so regular it is the norm and he's acclimated, so he and everybody else in the state probably just shrugs it off.

And people wonder why the birth rates are dropping.

This is so bizarre. I remember walking home from soccer practice around 10 or 11 years old in my cleats because my dad had forgotten to pick me up. 5-6 mile walk. While I wasn't happy at having to walk all that way the exercise was probably good for me.

Do kids really not walk or ride their bikes around these days?

Ever watch American Idol when they show the stadia full of hopeful contestants who earnestly believe the bolt from the blue is going to come and choose them? Ever wonder why people buy (State-run) lottery tickets week after week, when the odds of them ever winning are millions to one against? Yes, these things could happen.

I'd be willing to bet that the odds of your kid being injured or killed in a car accident on the way to school are about as great as them being molested as they walk to school.

This kid is 10. Does anybody honestly believe that he won't be able to walk a city street by himself as an adult?

My kids are 18 and 22. They drive in the big city, handle parking meters, even manage to pick me up at the airport. Just because they didn't do any of this at age TEN didn't make them inept at it!

There are some things, like playing the violin, where it's better to start early, but there's no benefit to pushing a young child into adult situations before they're truly ready to handle what might occur.

It's a remote possibility that I'd be raped walking in a back alley after midnight in stilletos and a push-up bra, but I don't make a habit of doing this beacause it's simply more cautious not to, and I certainly didn't do it at age 13.

I get what this mom was doing. She was trying to make her son uncomfortable - maybe a little scared - to teach him a lesson. I just don't applaud her for it.

We drank out of the hose, didn't even own bike helmets, and knew it was time to go home when it got dark. All the soda was made with real sugar, and firecrackers were legal.

Still alive!

We've become a Nation Of Pussies.

The problem here is perceived risk versus actual risk. Those who keep saying that there is more danger today are simple wrong: children are safer now than ever, as are our streets. But the media has increased our perceived risk of such pedestrian (ahem) behaviors as walking a few miles. There is virtually no risk. But the media makes it seem otherwise, hence the freak-outs by some parents.

A child is far more likely to be harmed in a car accident, by the numbers, than he or she is likely to be abducted or harmed by walking on the street. And yet we prefer the more dangerous activity because it gives us the illusion of control.

This is all pure silliness.

Seat belts, when one had them, weren't mandatory. Mom packed our lunches. And paint had lead in it!!! I, too, remain gobsmacked that we survived our childhoods.

It's sad enough that most children today never walk to/from school. That a parent would be challenged for doing it...that's outrageous.

The reason our parents allowed us to ride bikes and walk everywhere is because they didn't realize there was danger. Ignorance is bliss.

The little girl who was snatched and killed not long ago in my state (FL) was walking home from school past the houses of two known pedophiles (that had molested small children), and there were 150 registered sex offenders within a 5 mile radius of her home!

Now, some of them are probably 20 yr olds who got caught with 17 yr olds, but how many? Is it 50%? So, that still leaves 75 sex offenders within a 5 mile radius of this innocent little girl walking alone. Not to mention the mentally ill that are out on the street.

If our parents had known about these threats, they probably wouldn't have been so relaxed about letting us wander around the neighborhood.

Child molestations have gone down because parents are more aware and protective. Yes, that can be carried to an extreme, but it's not because child predators aren't out there waiting for a child to come wandering by alone.

Further evidence of the vaginafication of America.

I grew up in NYC and we never got a ride to school no matter what the weather was. Those that were further than 2 miles I think could have a bus but the rest did not. When I was 10 we walked to school which was about a mile but we did it no matter what the weather was, rain, snow or cold. Do remember some days it being down near zero.
When I went to High School it was far enough that we had bus passes, but they cost money and there were some who could not afford it and walked.

Four miles a bit far but as a lesson to not cut up on the bus not too far.

That seems a bit long to me personally, but again, we're into the It's None of Anyone's Effin' Business territory here. Really, when you start interfering with parents' rights to raise and discipline their kids the way they want to, short of actual abuse, you're on a slippery slope to where the state can take your kids away or charge you with crimes for about anything they deem fit. This is part and parcel of the way big government is moving in our country: This is obama and the left's entire point. The state as parent. More control, more power for government, less freedom for actual citizens for whom government is supposed to work.

The cure is to create a ticket (informational for now) and a process where overwrought accusations of child abuse can be punished. Automatically, when a jury finds not guilty on any child abuse charge, the prosecutor may be sanctioned by that jury if it thinks that the charge should not have been brought in the first place. And prosecutors can do it to the helicopter parent busybodies who cry abuse at seeing normal parenting.

False accusation has to cary some penalty

It's almost time for civic minded people start grabbing these plutocrats off the street or snatching them from their homes, and introducing them to some good old 1800's pine tar and feathers.

Same goes for the lackey's that enforce this nonsense.

LS, 10 year olds are not toddlers.

And the comparison to driving just doesn't make any sense.

We're not talking about "adult activity" we're talking about a kid doing the perfectly ordinary thing of walking to school.

"Now, some of them are probably 20 yr olds who got caught with 17 yr olds, but how many? Is it 50%? So, that still leaves 75 sex offenders within a 5 mile radius of this innocent little girl walking alone. Not to mention the mentally ill that are out on the street."

How many you ask? Lets say it was 50%, though it was probably more. Then you have the ones who had sex with someone they thought was older, and yes that does happen. Teenage girl sneaks into club with fake I.D. and has sex with some guy, and yes he does get charged and put on a list. So lets pluck another number out of the air to tack onto your plucked from air 50% (love to know how you came up with that number) But lets throw another 10% on top of there.

Then lets take the ones who are on there because somebody lied. And that happens so often its ridiculous, but lets take a number below the usual estimates, lets say 5%.

Now lets take the ones on there because they hired a prostitute, we'll not even get into the whole stupid argument on why its illegal to pay for things that can be given away for free. They get thrown onto sex offender registries too. That is probably another 20% AT LEAST, and frankly that should have been the 50% you pulled out of the air.

Now you're down to 5% of people on a list being a potential threat.

LS, you're playing into the fear game that just isn't realistic. You managed to somehow grow up into a functioning adult without people hovering around you ensuring your safety 24/7.

So, how on earth can a child grow up into a functioning adult, if they're not allowed to progress through stages of independence, to cross the street by themselves, to walk to school, to ask strangers for directions, to play at a park by themselves.

The fact is LS, that if all a child is taught is fear, everybody is out to get you, danger is around every corner unless mommy or daddy or that nice police officer is watching out for your safety...then they're going to grow up barely functional and looking for people to take care of them at every turn.

Don't believe me? Just ask an employer what its like interviewing the college graduate children of helicopter parents.

Ask how well they function on the job, to borrow a colloquial saying: "t'aint purty."

"As far as there being "two child molesters" living across from you Kristen, that begs the question, how do you know they were child molesters?"

Well Robert, first off, this was the street I grew up on. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. One man molested my brother and several other boys on the block. He didn't look like the googly eyed monster which is what we believed child molesters looked like back then. The other guy attempted to do things to my sister and me but was interrupted. One of my other neighbors wasn't as fortunate as to have an adult walk in and disturb him. What is surprising to me all these years later was that there were adults involved in both cases and only the man molesting boys was arrested. Admittedly I was younger and didn't really follow what happened other than knowing he went to jail for a period of time.

Of course you have the right to ask that question and I have no problem answering it. I would also share a story about the 34 year old man living next door to me who used to touch me inappropriately when I was in my early teens and eventually took my virginity but that story is a little harder to share and again, I have to wonder about the adults who saw what was going on and did nothing about it.

One final thing, I lived in an upper middle class neighborhood. Most people on my block had money. The school district is one of the top districts. The perception is that these creeps walk around with identifying marks and they don't. Not one walked around holding a sign proclaiming themselves child molesters and my parents didn't have a media saturation of every time a kid was hurt so it was never questioned.

"So, how on earth can a child grow up into a functioning adult, if they're not allowed to progress through stages of independence, to cross the street by themselves, to walk to school, to ask strangers for directions, to play at a park by themselves."

I didn't say any of that was unreasonable for a 10 yr old. Any good parent will start out small, let them learn things step by step, taking the time to explain threats that could occur and proper responses.

My son certainly played at the park at the end of our street with friends when he was 10. But I wouldn't have sent him 4 miles walking alone to school, certainly not if he'd had no prior experience walking even part of the way.

This mother overreacted. Plain and simple. And you guys are making her out to be a hero. She's not.

And, then they complain about the epideic of childhood obesity.

Robert, I would like to also mention that I do not let fear rule my life. My children have always been encouraged to talk to people and be friendly. I have never taught them that all strangers are bad. In fact, as my experience has taught me, it is actually the people who insinuate themselves into your life in a close way. I've taught my kids to use their instincts while of course I also pay attention to who spends time with my kid, how much time, why they spend that time, and if the interactions are appropriate. While I have spoken to my kids about the man going around in the van right now, I have also explained to them that a person trying to get you close to a car or van isn't likely to happen but to be weary when alone of getting close enough to be grabbed. Most adults needing directions or looking for a dog don't need a child to get right next to his door. They can yell from a safe distance. Again, it does happen but I don't want my kids thinking everyone in the world is trying to hurt them.

@Kristen: I know what you are talking about. Back "then," it was considered impolite to call people on their inappropriate behavior. As a result, my step-grandfather got away with a lot. Fortunately I managed to stay out of his clutches before any real physical damage occurred, but psychologically I was devastated. I was further devastated when I was berated for not telling....and then nothing was done **to him**. So when the same thing happened with my neighbor, I just made all the more certain I didn't let on. It's a horrible feeling, no?

All child abuse isn't egregious. Well, I'll rephrase that: all child abuse IS egregious, but it's not necessarily all that obvious to others. The mother in this case was wrong to take this risk with her misbehaving son. All children who are abused aren't necessarily snatched, raped, or murdered. Sometimes they are just scared to death and don't have anyone they can safely tell.

There are many options that she could have employed before resorting to even accompanying him to school by foot. I can't believe that she had no idea the child was causing trouble until he got booted off the bus. Where was she then? Why didn't she stop the problem before it got to this level?

This is not an either-or situation. She did take a risk and should have been punished, simply because there are other ways to assure herself that her son doesn't misbehave and is properly punished without risking his safety.

Child abuse? The average walk speed is four Mph. The kid had a two hour gym class added to his school day, which included a wonderful exposure to vitamin D. This kid's mom should get a medal from Michelle Obama for giving her child a super healthy lifestyle.
I only 1/4 jest.

I dropped my car off for repair and walked to work just last Friday. 4.5 miles. 25 degrees. One hour twenty minutes. Really, it didn't seem like a big deal. And I'm not a model athlete (ha!) or routinely subject to such conditions such that I'm desensitized to it. It's a non-trivial time and distance, but isn't that exactly the point the mother was making?

If someone 'official' is concerned, take the kid to the parent and explain what the concern is. Then, accept the gratitude or reaming your boss offers for your efforts. Oh wait, if your an 'official' there is never any consequence for..... well, anything.

Oh, and have we forgotten that the parent is the boss? That's going to be awfully hard to fix.

"The kid has been suspended from the school bus FIVE TIMES. He needs tough punishment."

Take away his privileges, games, or special belongings. There are other tough punishments.

Granted, I like the related consequence of having to walk to school. That's the kind of punishment befitting the crime that parents should look for, but not when it poses a risk.

And it does. I wish there were not child predators out there waiting to see a single child walking alone - an easy target - but I've dealt with too many cases of molestation as a child advocate that it's all too clear to me that there's one or two in most neighborhoods, appearing just like anybody else, as Kristen says.

Most of the time, they victimize their own family members, but there's no guarantee that they won't be tempted by a vulnerable child wandering right by their door, as unfortunately happened to the little girl I mentioned. She was molested and killed by a guy a few blocks away from her house.

True, most molestors aren't killers, but they panic in cases like that.

"Take away his privileges, games, or special belongings. There are other tough punishments."

A) those are very weak punishments

B) this is not YOUR kid, so it's none of your business.

Making a child walk a few miles is not abusive. In fact, every parent should make their kids go out and do physical activity.

"True, most molestors aren't killers, but they panic in cases like that. "

This is an hysterical overreaction. You're saying all kids should simply be under watch all the time. That is going to lead to hundreds of millions of Americans with no clue how to be responsible for themselves.

My kids walked a mile each way, every day, from the house to get to the school bus stop. We did allow them to choose to stay home when the temperature was below minus fifty degrees, though.

Gharkness, it's funny that you mention how "impolite" it was to call people on their bad behavior back then because it is so true. I have a hard time wrapping my head around that because if some 34 year old guy was constantly caressing my 14 year old daughter I'd have no problem telling him how inappropriate his behavior was. I'd also make sure he was not around my daughter after that.

LS, I hate the argument "we did it and we turned out fine." It is so silly. We did a lot of things that had potential to harm us. The fact that we ended up ok isn't evidence that we should have been doing it. Like you, I understand the point the mother was trying to make, but it was excessive. These people are patting her on the back talking about her tough love. I wonder why with her tough love the kid was thrown off the bus 5 times. Maybe she should have the kid evaluated. It's possible the kid could have ADHD and some behavioral problems. A 4 mile walk to school in the cold won't treat that.

Agreed, Kristen. We didn't wear seatbelts (gee, I remember riding in the back of the pickup truck), or bike helmets, and we ate lead paint off our crib rails apparently.

It's a self-selected survey. We survived. All the kids killed in auto accidents from not being buckled in, or those who had brain injury from falling off their bikes without a helmet, aren't here to speak on the topic.

Yet, you've clearly demonstrated my point that there are child molestors out there. I don't think kids should be paranoid, or parents hysterical, about it, but it's something we unfortunately know more about than our parents did 20-30 years ago.

When you know better, you do better. Protecting young children, who are small and vulnerable, from being molested is rational, and it doesn't cripple them long-term. It's not like a child 10 or under is going to be permanently harmed from waiting a year or so before making that 4 mile treck.

I doubt there are any studies that indicate that kids who didn't walk to school by age 10 are dysfunctional and fearful of walking city streets as teens or adults.

There's a lot things that can ruin a kid, but this isn't one of them. And, Dustin, if you think those are weak punishments, you've obviously never tried taking a kid's phone away these days. Most would walk 4 miles just to avoid that.

The problem here is that this women is surely a Republican that hates women, minorities, gays and especially children. Republicans want to harm these vulnerable groups every chance they get in order to enrich Big Oil and Halliburton. That's why gas prices are getting so high, because the Republican House-majority is destroying the economy while blaming the black president because, well, he's black. When gas prices were high under Bush, they were blaming those Ay-rabs, because Republicans are racists that want blacks to go back to Africa and to tear down (or have their bigoted Jesus freaks bomb) women's health centers.

Can you imagine what a terror this kid is going to be now? Kicked off the school bus 5x and now instead of learning a lesson he has turn it around on his mother. The State needs to mind their own business.

We-yeelll, if you're this exercised about it- go tell your local paper to pick up Amy Alkon's column and ditch Ann Landers. Ann Lander's daughter features a careless mother and a concerned busybody once a week or so- with the ever- so- helpful advice on how to call CPS, with the info that tattling is kept confidential.

I lived in an apartment complex where the mothers had gotten together and bought a picnic table. We'd meet there each evening, for visiting. One mother had two teenage daughters. We would pay the daughters to watch the children if they went around the building to the other side. One person, who quite literally never came out of her apartment- just spied on us- called CPS, to say that children were being neglected and allowed to wander freely through the complex. It was terrifying. The first notice is a pamphlet left on the door- "WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN." After the whole thing had been sorted out- we joked that the teenage girls needed tee-shirts saying " Babysitter" so that any asshole stranger would have a clue.

It was completely horrifying. A weeklong investigation brought on by an allegation from some stranger who has no idea what was happening, or why. Innocent behavior looks criminal all the time. Of course my kid was wandering- he was being attended by a teenage girl who tagged after him, not holding his hand. She wanted to see what interested him- plants, it turns out. Cactus, not flowering ones. The little girls preferred flowering plants. It was part of her "sample observational pool" for her science fair project. It was completely terrifying, being threatened with the loss of my child b/c some stranger, who doesn't know me, know my child, know the other mothers, know the babysitter- knows nothing at all- reports what she knows, anonymously...

we moved within two months. I didn't let people in our house for years. I didn't let the kids play out front for five years. I'm still unnerved, to be honest.

I don't think people realize though how long 4 miles is on foot, and most of them probably can't do it.

Oh, please. I have been working at a desk for 13 years, have gotten up to 350 lbs during that time, and I could do it, on flat ground, which the route in the story apparently is. Too many hills would do me in, but for a kid? They haven't had time to let their muscles atrophy.

Excercise = child abuse.

We pay plenty for gym classes and sports.

Walking to school: No one draws a pay check.

Connection?

PS: I grew up in Wisconsin. At that age we played outdoors longer than an hour and a half in 30 degree weather for fun. Anyone who thinks 30 degrees is cold should move to southern California.

Sure, "when you were a kid" you wrestled grizzly bears, walked ten miles for fun, stayed out and played for four and half days before you parents even dreamed something bad might have happened, and then ate steel and shit nails for fun. But then somehow once this rough and tumble generation got to be in charge we were hit with the pussification ray. The source of this ray is apparently a mystery. Maybe it was space aliens or vidjagames. But now kids can't do math, schools suck, and all the corners have been padded. It's a complete fucking mystery how this happened!

So the government can take your kids if they are obese, because obesity is child abuse. And walking alone in the cold is child abuse too. Every day we are getting closer to a totalitarian state.

"Granted, in that area there wasn't stranger danger..."

Nor is there anywhere else, really. Some of you commenters just can't let go of your media-induced fantasies.

"Yet, many kids were killed or molested when their parents weren't watching."

Yes. By relatives.

Like you. Right? I mean, you're a relative. You should be suspected.

-------

This was a kid walking. Oh, boy, call the TSA!

Have you ever tried to catch a kid that doesn't want to be caught, like playing tag in the yard? It's not easy, is it? These little darlings aren't such easy targets.

And YOUR kid's probably not attractive, anyway. To quote a nationally-known comedian, "You may want to believe that the pedophiles are lined up down at the park waiting to molest your kid, but you're gonna be disappointed - it's just not gonna happen."

Has anyone considered that maybe their parents just didn't like them much?

Seriously, people used to have a lot more kids, so they were more expendable. If one disappeared roaming the neighborhood, or playing out back beside that old well, they still had more. My great grandmother had 13 kids and lost 7 or 8 of them. Not sure if she just misplaced them or what.

"Nor is there anywhere else, really. Some of you commenters just can't let go of your media-induced fantasies."

Kirk Parker, maybe you should tell my brother that his molestation was a media-induced fantasy. I'm not sure why some of you can't acknowledge that there is such a thing as molestation and that pedophiles are predators.

I will ask again although nobody seems to have an answer. If you all are applauding this mother's punishment and think she has a great handle on parenting, why did her child get in trouble 5 times. Wouldn't she most likely have been a strict disciplinarian before this? This sounds more like a mom who is overwhelmed and frustrated and didn't know what to do.

This isn't Little House on the Prairie and there is a reason most districts have transportation requirements depending on distance. A ten year old who does not normally walk to school being made to walk alone 4 miles is a little excessive. You can all cheer and believe that this will somehow bring back some Golden Era, and not question but I think the mother could have been a little more creative in her punishment.

A child with behavioral problems may also have ADHD and this child should be evaluated. If the kid does have ADHD some of the behavioral problems can be corrected through behavioral therapy and even medication. A kid who has trouble focusing and following directions isn't always a kid who is defiant or refuses to listen. Sometimes there is a neurological issue and I cannot believe that all of you in your quest for some kid's head wouldn't even consider that.

And I don't think anyone said exercise=abuse. What an absurd argument.

A ten year old set to walking four miles along a road in sub-freezing weather? Child abuse, open and shut.

"Nor is there anywhere else, really. Some of you commenters just can't let go of your media-induced fantasies."

Mine isn't media induced. I've worked with and known too many kids who've been molested, and unfortunately, I know too many molesters in my small town.

Recently, I hired a company to paint a sign in front of my bldg, and when the guy showed up, I recognized him as someone who'd been convicted of molesting a 9 yr old girl I worked with as a guardian. She was a neighbor. He confessed to the crime. There was no doubt.

I hired him for the job anyway. He's served his time and needed the work. Did a great job. Friendly guy. Always has a cute little dog with him. But I watched from my office, and if any of the little neighbor kids had wandered by to pet the dog, I would've been even more on guard. He drives a van, which was parked nearby.

Trust me, child molesters are out there waiting for a chance to molest. They look like normal average Joes that your kid would never suspect as he/she walks alone to school. It's not just the media.

If you feel your child is properly prepared to encounter someone like that...if you've warned them that molesters often use cute little doggies as lures, and you feel confident your child is mature enough not to be manipulated by a child predator, it's ok to let them walk alone for a distance, but that age varies from child to child, and there's no harm waiting until they're a bit older and bigger.

Nope; Kirsten and LS, this just means that you also don't understand statistics. Nobody (least of all me) is saying that crime doesn't happen. What we are saying is that the rates of crime and violence are, in general, lower now than in the Golden Age, so there is less reason to fear that there is a stranger/molester lurking behind every bush, not more.

I'm not going to go all correlation-is-causation or post hoc on you, but it's at least possible that things like the predator registries are partly to credit here--in the Good Old/Bad Old Days we had no easy way to know and forewarn ourselves of the actual risk factors living in our proximity.

"Do you think I can have my parents charged retroactively for child abuse for making me mow the lawn and weed the garden in really hot weather?"

That's really not the same thing, Amy. Nobody is suggesting kids shouldn't do chores around the house or yard. Presumably your parents were around. That's different than a child walking 4 miles alone.

At 10, I worked the garden and fed the animals in the barn. I was allowed to walk to my girlfriend's house, which was down the road from ours in a very rural area (yet still visible from our house). But I can't imagine my parents letting me walk 4 miles unattended at that age. And I remember them calling my friend's mom to make sure I'd made it to her house down the winding country roads. That's what responsible, attentive parents have always done.

It's a risk-return trade-off (not to be too academic about it). It sounds like the comments are about more than just one long walk home - its about whether children should be allowed more unsupervised freedom. Is the small risk of something bad happening to our kids worth the more probable return of them learning independence, self-confidence, and a good set of life skills?

We decided the answer was "yes," and did our best to minimize potential risks by teaching them alot about traffic safety, how to handle basic emergencies, and "weirdos.". Our kids are very well adjusted as a result, and we often hear comments on how confident and well-adjusted they are.

But others will decide that anything other than zero probability of something bad happening just isnt worth it, and that's fine, too. But it should be each individual's choice on what's right for their family, and NOT the government's choice.

I agree with you, Angel. I don't believe this mom should've been charged with neglect. I just think this isn't the kind of thing a mother should do as an impulsive punishment. If she'd been working with her son before this to prepare him for the walk, traffic safety, and weirdos, as you did, it would be different matter. Four miles is still too long for my tastes, but it should be a personal parental decision.

The problem the state has is that so many parents do neglect their kids by leaving them unattended at home, so if they thought they could just throw the kids out on the street and claim they're "walking" and get away with this, they'd neglect them even more.

So, here's the next question:

How old do you have to be to walk 4 miles by yourself?

I was babysitting at twelve. I'm pretty sure I managed to get four miles from home playing when I was ten. Unless the kid is a moron, ten should be old enough to know how to cross streets and find his way to school. And we don't know what the mother did the other four times the kid got kicked off the bus. Maybe she DID try taking things away, etc. and it wasn't working.

I have a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. We live in a normal suburban neighborhood, approximately two miles from their elementary school. They walk to school with a group of friends, by themselves, every day. When it's cold, they wear hats and gloves. When it's really cold, they wear heavier hats and gloves. When it's raining, they get rain boots and umbrellas. When it's hot and sunny they get baseball hats and a cold bottle of water.

We have no fear of "predators". Our children are smart and we trust that they recognize danger. They know not to get into a car with a stranger or go into a stranger's house, but they're not afraid to talk to a stranger, especially if they need help. They know how to scream and yell and run away. And they know our neighborhood and that they can run into any house and be safe if they need it. We've also taught them (and continue to) to fight back if they can't run away.

We also let them eat dirt, roam the neighborhood on weekends, and when they can scavenge or cut (yes cut. With a saw.) enough wood, they can have a bonfire in the yard, where we supervise them minimally to ensure proper fire safety procedures are being followed. My six-year-old daughter is fascinated with burning tree branches. My son likes to stuff marshmellows into pop cans and watch them ooze and burn.

No parent can protect their child from every evil on earth, and no parent should wish to. In defending them from peril, we deprive them of the ability to defend themselves. We've taught our children to have a healthy fear of and curiosity for the world. They're not stupid or inept, and we've made sure they know how the world works so they can manage to live in it without abject terror of it.

I suppose I can expect a knock on my door from the parenting police. Obviously my parenting style rates right up there with starvation, torture, rape, and beatings. I'm so ashamed. Really.

"What we are saying is that the rates of crime and violence are, in general, lower now than in the Golden Age, so there is less reason to fear that there is a stranger/molester lurking behind every bush, not more."

Kirk, I don't think there is stranger danger lurking behind every bush and I was clear about that so please don't think that twisting my words oh so smugly makes your argument any stronger.

My reasoning for not having the kid walk alone all those miles is not mainly because of predators. I simply addressed those who think it should not be a worry by stating something currently going on where I live and a few towns away where my daughter goes to private school.

I don't think anyone is saying exercise=abuse. Again, that's just a smarmy way of not actually articulating a valid point. I don't know how far the kid is used to walking but the mother obviously used this as a punishment which would tell me most likely the kid doesn't walk all that way to school. It seemed excessive to me and it isn't something I would do.

I am not going to say she's abusive but it does sound to me like she was frustrated and overwhelmed and not thinking bigger picture. For those who believe that was tough love and sure to teach a lesson, I've consistently asked where the lesson was before the first 5 times. Nobody has an answer. No matter how many times I've asked, not one person has addressed that other than to call him bratty.

I have 2 sons with ADHD and can tell you that before medication and behavioral therapy, one of them could have been this kid. He wasn't bad at all and in fact all of his teachers loved him. He did have a very difficult time sitting still and focusing. We used behavioral charts and rewards to encourage good behavior and there were consequences for bad behavior, consequences that fit the crime, not excessive punishments that came from my frustration, and yes, there was plenty of frustration.

Not one person suggested having this kid evaluated. Cheer the mother all you want. So far, some aspect of her parenting isn't working. I don't really think this will do the trick either but cheer on and maybe one day this kid will turn out to be a bad adult and you will all feel as if you were proven right. Who wins then?

Mom of two grown sons here...

I applaud this mother for devising a way for her son (to have ample time) to "re-think" his behavior for his own and others' safety ON THE BUS ... I would have done the very SAME thing EXCEPT I'd be lazy and cruise behind having him in sight (for a good mile or two max)... while he did this "re-thinking"...because not too many parents are neighborhood watch dogs like I was back then and still am. (If I knew several neighbors were "watch dogs" on that four mile ste=retch, I'd have probably stayed home & enjoyed a cup of coffee). But NOT having any reliable watch dog neighbors, I'd give him a lift the last two miles to school and see if he had ANY wisdom gleaned from his time walking. We'd "chat" about how his behavior was unsafe ON THE BUS - for everyone, distracting the bus driver, etc. Who knows?That boy being absent off the bus that day may have prevented a tragedy. And maybe that walk left the boy not so "big for his britches", and that's a start for real behavior change.

The mother should NOT have been charged, further diminishing her "parental authority". Authorities could have just "suggested" she take into consideration how to tweak her punishment actions. I work with kids (job) and some quickly and smugly put their parents in a "public" squeeze. Parents are afraid to parent. Who can blame them? Bottom line: 1) We need to be supportive of parents, not ridicule their sincere attempts to positively shape their children's behavior, 2) We need to be "realistic" but not overly-crazy community citizens who are consistently on alert for OUR CHILDREN, and model behavior we want. And for all our sakes, we need NOT text or cell-talk while driving - now that's a concern for anyone who walks anywhere! There are MORE than just two sides to ANY story! ~ for what it's worth...

Gee, Deb, you're gonna make sense, you're gonna scare people!

"The problem here is that this women is surely a Republican that hates women, minorities, gays and especially children."

Or she could be a single mom on welfare that didn't feel like driving her kid to school because she was busy entertaining her latest boyfriend.

I get that you were being sarcastic, but there's more than one possible interpretation of this incident and this version could potentially be more accurate.

If this mom had walked with her child to school, then no question she's a great parent who clearly is willing to go the extra mile (no pun intended) to make the punishment stick. Tailing him in the car or even jumping in the car to check up in at the 45 minute mark or so would also qualify.

As it stands, it's just a little too convenient that this punishment happened to be the path of least effort for her. I'm not going to applaud her parenting skills when it's unclear whether or not she was even trying to parent.

Again, the problem is not hypothetical child molesters. It's traffic, busy intersections, lack of walkways, teenage drivers, drivers on cell phones (that's one thing that's changed between now and 30 years ago...), poor visibility, etc. And the question is not "how old do you have to be to walk 4.5 miles alone?" but "should anyone of ANY age be walking these particular 4.5 miles under these particular conditions?" If the answer is no, then you have no business making a 10 year old do it.

"As it stands, it's just a little too convenient that this punishment happened to be the path of least effort for her. I'm not going to applaud her parenting skills when it's unclear whether or not she was even trying to parent."

Exactly Shannon! I'm curious what consequences this kid faced from mom the 5 times he got in trouble before getting thrown off the bus. What tough love did she give before it became an inconvenience for her?

Just a hunch, but usually 30 degree weather is winter time. Around here, walking to school in the morning in the winter time is walking in the dark. My kid would not have been ready to walk 4+ miles to school (and get there on time) in the dark at age 10. Also, we have no sidewalks, just ditches (frequently filled with rain runoff) and narrow country roads with drivers driving 50mph or more.

I would say that I had no fear of strangers luring him, but I would have worried about unfenced dogs and unobservant drivers. Both are common around here.

He wouldn't have been ready to do it on a bike, either. By 12 or so he would have. But I would not have had him walk or ride to school since we are almost 6 miles away.

I think if that boy got kicked off the bus for the 5th time, there is something else going on here that needs considering.

SOME boys might be ready for that walk/ punishment, but I think many would not be. I don't know if it was appropriate to that boy.

Totally agree with Shannon, and LauraGr too.

I think if the boy had been ready for this, he wouldn't have caught the attention of the bank security guard. Something in his demeanor (scared or lost?), or in the way he was dressed (underdressed for cold weather?) likely alerted the guard that this wasn't a kid who'd been properly prepped for a 4 mile walk to school.

Also, it's odd that the conclusion is automatically made that the mother isn't abusive and the kid made stuff up just to get her into trouble.

"The tween boy implored the officer, "Please sir, don't take me home or my mother will beat me." So very Dickensian."

The kid didn't go up to the guard, as he would if he'd been plotting to get mom in trouble. My suspicion would more likely be that he was telling the truth. A kid with behavoral issues this bad may, in fact, be abused at home.

"Also, it's odd that the conclusion is automatically made that the mother isn't abusive and the kid made stuff up just to get her into trouble."

"The tween boy implored the officer, "Please sir, don't take me home or my mother will beat me." So very Dickensian."

LS, I noticed the same thing. Everyone was so quick to jump on the nanny state argument that they didn't consider any other alternative. I have a kid that I will be nice and describe as "mischievous." Never once did he ever "joke" with anyone about me being afraid of me. It does seem an odd thing for a kid to say to a stranger if he isn't being abused. I hate saying that though before it starts a whole new slew of comments stating that they got beaten and if they turned out ok.......

"Never once did he ever "joke" with anyone about me being afraid of me.

Maybe yours didn't. However, I can point you towards any number of kids who have called 911, or threatened to, as a means of trying to get back at their parents. My wife's son (from her first marriage) did that to her once. Fortunately, the officer who responded figured it out very quickly.

How old was he, Cousin Dave?

Teenagers sometimes threaten this for leverage, but, in my experience, it's rare for a 10 yr old to understand how these things work well enough to do that...unless he's already been involved with the system, and, usually then, he'd be more reluctant because most kids, even abused kids, don't want to be removed from their home, even for a night or two.