Best is, this chick apparently just "friended" me -- so she could use me!

Exactly! That's the gist of what I write to people who write me for advice and say I can't publish their question. So I get the...the joy of working for no possible benefit for me?

While I sometimes get swamped and miss questions, I try to answer all the questions I get (and I could use some now, by the way -- smart short questions), but the moment somebody asks me to do it for nothing...no. Those people are told they can pay into my Paypal to keep it out of my column.

Jessica, I know you because you comment here, so that's entirely different. Not presumptuous on your part at all. You didn't contact me out of the blue as a total stranger to ask me to do work for you for free. But, I'm guessing I told you what I tell everyone -- that I don't assess books or recommend people whose writing I haven't read. If it was quickie question, I probably just answered it because it was easy and because I like you.

I have very little free time these days (apart from my writing of my column and my own book, my reading, and prepping for radio). Also, there are very few people's books I will take time out of my needed science reading to read and comment on for no pay. I looked at a chapter of an anthropologist's book recently after I had him on my show. I read the book of a guy I refer to as "my literary conscience," who's been very helpful in encouraging me in my writing, sent me to his agent, etc., and I read a very good friend's novel.

On the other hand, I am completely loath to ask people I know even to tell me if a particular line in my column is funny (I once was having a terrible time and gritted my teeth and emailed my sweetheart friend Ruth about something). I hire somebody to assess my work.

Some lady just today wrote Elmore (Leonard) to ask him to collaborate (advise) on her dissertation!

See, Jessica...you were polite...you kept your question brief...and you're welcome. People who comment here are people I "know" and often care about -- even if I've never seen most of you face to face. It's entirely different than some stranger using me -- and pretending to have some connection. And I really love when somebody comes at me all buddy-buddy with some brainless crap like the "law of attraction." Time to learn the "law of repulsion"!

She wants me to MARKET her book for free and friended me on Facebook to do so, trying to make connections with people I barely know. I get review copies and requests to read authors' books, too. The polite ones email me to my work address; they don't pretend to be my friend, and pretend to be interested in my work.

Read the message. The violation there is clear. Also, this woman is about as literate as my dog. I'm sick of everyone thinking they can write because the computer makes it look all pretty when they type it. There are days I write ONE PARAGRAPH -- and then rework it the next day. This is writing. Unless you are an extremely gifted and prolific the other is typing.

This woman has what is called "arrogance without portfolio."

PS Also, using the "law of attraction" in an email to me tells me you are not only a dipshit but a dipshit who has never read my work.

Nancy Rommelmann, who is a dear friend of mine, is entitled to ask me to help me sell her books (I recommended both in a post recently) -- and it's easy to do that, not just because she's a friend I care a lot about but because I love her writing. This is like when somebody I just meet asks me to recommend them to my agent. No. Always amazed when people ask me that. So...I haven't read you, so I'll be recommending you on the basis that...you have a pulse and happened to cross my path? (Agents are just dying for recommendations like that.)