Your Starship Captain might be a Redneck if...

...your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
...he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
...you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
...he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
...he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
...he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
...he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
...he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
...he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
...he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
...he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
...he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
...he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
...he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
...he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
...he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
...he paints the starship John Deere green
...he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
...he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
...his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
...he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
...his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
...he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
...his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies

Flynne, one more:

...the Captain's last words were, "Hey ever'body! Watch this!"

Some tidbits:

Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty". The closes he came to that was "Scotty, beam me up."

Uhura only says "Hailing frequencies open, sir." in one episode.

The Vulcan hand symbol is a Jewish hand symbol.

Kirk and Uhura had tv's first inter-racial kiss. I think Kirk also has the second when he kisses the Elaan of Troyuus.

William Shatner is 81!

Not only did Shatner just turn 81 last Thurs, but Leonard Nimoy is 81 today...

Not only did Shatner just turn 81 last Thurs, but Leonard Nimoy is 81 today...

Someone saw this day coming: Star Wreck V: The Undiscovered Nursing Home.

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wreck-Undiscovered-Nursing-Home/dp/0312951221/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1332787713&sr=8-6

That's amazing hadsil. I hope you can make money off of your knowledge.

Flynne missed a couple more...

... if the replicator is set to deliver "Beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, ice cold".
... if the holodeck includes a scene with Daisy Duke in it.
... if the away team is delayed because the Captain forgot his Red Man.
... if the Captain forgets to draw the line between green animal women and actual green animals.

Hey, this stuff is more fun to worry about than most stuff. Ever notice that Chewbacca looks more than a little like Bigfoot?