I always hated the "one to grow on" birthday paddling. It made me feel sad and anxious. But the razzing you get over being a baby when you resist is just as bad.

You must not have experienced this particular ritual as a child, otherwise you would not be for it. Are you also for hazing, Ms. Iwasbulliedasachild? Because you come out in favor of so much meanness it sickens me sometimes.

This makes me so angry!

What is wrong with people? Why did it take a year to figure out this was bullshit?

Where's the apology for this man and the crap he went through? What part of "optional" don't these idiots understand?

Aaaarrrggghhh!

Above tantrum (abridged) brought to you by too many articles on chicken-shit child rearing techniques and a chocolate frosted doughnut with coffee for breakfast.

A principal is a government employee paid for to oversee the education of children.

It's dandy if a principal volunteers to be a Boy Scout leader, or an ice skating coach, or an Ass Paddler volunteer (that's an organization, right?) on his or her own time.

...but subjecting kids to it - EVEN IF IT'S NOT SEXUAL - is not the principal's job.

The principal may be a big extrovert who thinks it's all fun and games...but I note that he/she was the one delivering the whacks.

I find spankings, whether painful or simulated with a padded tool, to be degrading and inherently a power-play.

Why is it OK for a government official to paddle the buttocks of a child (even if no physical harm is done), but it's not acceptable for a government official to grope the vagina of Amy when she boards a plane?

The fact that the principal thought that it was all in good fun is no excuse - the powerful often think that their harassment is enjoyable and "no big deal".

'Because you come out in favor of so much meanness it sickens me sometimes. '

And you're just plain mean.

I always thought the "birthday spanking" thing was embarrassing and degrading... but it's not going to cause any lasting harm. And I wouldn't try to ruin someone's life over it. I think that's the greater issue here: People think it's ok to attempt to destroy someone's livelihood for doing something they don't like.

Deathbysnoosnoo…you must have had a very sad and depressing childhood.

See I remember that "ritual" if you will. And it was all done with family and friends, people who were there because they cared about me enough to celebrate my birthday. If you count something playful and harmless as this as "hazing" good GOD your heart would just burst in shock and horror if you witnessed real hazing.

--------

And TJIC, how pray tell, do you expect a principal to effectively oversee the education of children if they never see or interact with those children? And with young kids, that is going to mean some social interaction, some of which might be playful. Its not all paperwork and meetings you know.

And if you think the "birthday spanking" is a power play…that says more about you, than the spanker or the spankee's participation ever could say about themselves. And if you can't tell the difference between THAT…and having a hand shoved into your vagina…you are to stupid to argue with.

TJIC wrote:

"The principal may be a big extrovert who thinks it's all fun and games...but I note that he/she was the one delivering the whacks."

I wonder if the principal got some whaps on his birthday. The principals and teachers that had the best relationships with students that I remember were the ones who participated in things like dunk tanks at the school fair or whatever.

When I was a kid we did the "spanking machine" where you had to crawl between a row of people's legs and they would all spank you. I thought it was hilarious and I haven't turned out (that) weird.

In my day, it'd be an insult if nobody even tried to "spank" you on your birthday. Although most of the time it was the kids doing the spanking, with adult supervision.

But I also remember, when it was our birthdays, our moms would make cupcakes or brownies for us to bring to school to share with our classmates (and usually there were extras, for the teacher and the principal as well. And my mom happened to be friends with the school nurse and secretaries, who would be very put out if there wasn't a cupcake or brownie for them!). Just before lunch, the teacher would hand them round, and the kids would all sing "Happy Birthday" to the birthday child. And if it was a nice day, we'd all go outside, where the birthday ritual would commence, all in good fun.

When my eldest was in 5th grade was the first time she was sent home with her brownies, and was told the school "wasn't allowing that anymore" because of other children's allergies. So the next day, I sent her in with a tray of Jell-o "jigglers". Well, they weren't allowed either, again because of allergies. Then a flyer was sent home with all the kids, suggesting that if parents wanted to send treats in to school for a child's birthday, that they be in the form of pencils or other non-edible "treats". And I thought to myself "how sad. in addition to killing some of the fun of going to school, now they're killing a tradition that these kids' parents grew up with in the name of "safe fun" for the children. Really I was very upset.

Snoosnoo, why do you even bother coming here anymore, if all you can do is insult Amy and question why she posts anything? If you're that angry with her, why bother reading her blog anymore? You're just making an ass of yourself when you post your idiocy, you know.

Oh lordy, the drama level is high today. I just read a good phrase in Dear Margo: "Moliere than thou".

I do believe this paddling/vaginal groping comparison is just a wee bit out of proportion. Amy doesn't get to opt on having her vagina groped during a TSA search. The students did have the option of not being paddled.

Having grown up in a time where spanking was a common form of punishment, I find it easy to discern between a birthday spanking and corporal punishment, as I could also tell the difference between the paddlings I got as a child and the outright beatings friends of mine endured, showing off their welts like battle scars.

These friends thought I and my sisters were spoiled.

It's all in the perspective, I guess.

I always hated birthday whacks and noogies, but I would have been tagged a huge spoilsport and a wuss if I declined. There are plenty of fun ways to celebrate a kid's birthday that don't involve light smacking with a paddle. Also, the superintendent warned him before anyone complained that this could be misinterpreted. It seems he didn't care.

The people on here who say they enjoyed it got it from family members and friends, not school administrators. As a principal, you're managing parents every bit as much as you are kids, and if you can't see that this is a ticket to trouble, you're not very good at the political end of your job.

Still, it should have been enough to just insist that he end the birthday spankings. It wasn't necessary for a guy to lose his job over it.

Holy crap, Flynne! Pencils? Really? I weep for the children.

I just remembered I use to tell people I was allergic to coconut when I was a kid, because I didn't like it. I think some kids might have had an actual problem with coconut (or they just didn't like it either), but in any case we never managed to change the rules to keep coconut frosting off of cupcakes.

There was no ban on coconut, and no one made a point of supplying different cupcakes for us special kids.
What a bunch of insensitive pricks.

Pricklypear, you would not even believe the crap going on in the elementary schools here anymore. One mom started a campaign to ban peanut butter and jelly sammiches, because her precious little boy is allergic to peanuts. And I get that yes, it IS a serious issue for some kids, but the PARENTS need to teach their kid, hey, you're allergic! if someone wants to give you something with peanuts, you say NO THANK YOU, not insist none of the OTHER kids not be able to eat it!

Really, the non-think and abdication of personal responsibility that some people think they're entitled to really bothers me.

> One mom started a campaign to ban peanut butter
> and jelly sammiches, because her precious little
> boy is allergic to peanuts.

You guys are behind the times... no school or daycare around here has allowed nuts of any sort for many, many years...

Robert:

>And TJIC, how pray tell, do you expect a principal to effectively oversee the education of children if they never see or interact with those children?

Yes. Well argued. If a principle doesn't spank a child, the child will be poorly educated.

You win.

I believe it, Flynne. I just don't want to. I'd be a grandmother now, if I'd had kids, if they'd had kids. I don't feel particularly old, but definitely alien. Definitely sad. And I'm not even a bus monitor. Oh well, I'd never be the type of grandma to gloat about how much fun I had in the good old days. I'd be afraid of what they might be texting about me.

Anyway, you can't miss what you never had, so I imagine the kids are fine. As long as they aren't cutting themselves in order to feel something, or slowly starving while they search their ana and mia sites, or hanging themselves or driving some other kid to suicide through cyber-bullying, or trying to get drunk on vodka tampons.

But by all means, we must protect them from the true enemies: peanuts, bake sales and birthday paddling!

"you're allergic! if someone wants to give you something with peanuts, you say NO THANK YOU, not insist none of the OTHER kids not be able to eat it!"

This. I've been coming across a lot of ADA-related articles lately, and this is exactly the clue that people there are missing as well. The fact that one person has a problem should not normally affect everyone else.

deathbysnoosnoo: Do you need a hug? Your comments are so resenful, I worry that you lack positive human contact in your life.

Re Birthday Paddle: Never bothered me. Never occurred to me to be bothered by it.

Some people are perpetually offended. I wish I could just ignore them, but unfortunately they use their victim status to encourage the government to fuck with all of our lives, and that's just not acceptable.

Diana - I remember the spanking machine! We did that in Kindergarten. My kids went to the same elementary school as I did, and they never mentioned it, so I assume they stopped doing it a while back. I have plenty of bad memories from my childhood of bullying and various cruelty, but the spanking machine is not one of them. I just remember that being fun.

I hear that a lot of holiday related art projects are no longer allowed in classrooms. I thought that was sad as well. When I was a kid, we had the Christmas, Halloween, Valentine projects, and most kids did the assigned project, but a few students who were Jewish and Jehova's Witness did substitue projects. It was a tremendous learning experience, as we in the majority were fascinated with what the others were doing. We'd talk to the JW, and she would explain why the standard projects weren't appropriate for her, and also explain the project she was working on (which was usually pretty cool since she was very artistic). The Jewish kids gave presentations about celebrating Hanukah, Hebrew, etc. and again we were endlessly fascinated. Kids with American Indian and other backgrounds frequently presented on their lifestyles, etc. It was fascinating, and it encouraged the kids to be interested in other cultures and it created a sense of community between us.

When I was growing up in southern Michigan I never would have considered my hometown "laid back" but compared to these days it was practically a hippy commune.

Like Meloni, the schools weren't afraid of religion or Pagans, and we had Christmas trees and Halloween parades without anyone having a hissy fit.

The deacon at my Lutheran church gave out wonderful homemade caramel apples at Halloween, and even the nuns at the Catholic church passed out suckers. (Yeah, when I was a kid we hit up everybody on Halloween night, running around without a parent in sight!)

We never heard of being allergic to peanuts (has peanut processing changed or something?) or much of anything else. There was no obesity "epidemic" because even shy kids like me were out running around. I enjoyed my own company more than that of other children, but I was on my bike constantly, or roller skating, or swimming, or just wandering around by myself. When I wasn't holed up somewhere with a book. I'm far from skinny now, but I was in good shape back then.

What was the topic? Oh yeah, birthday whapping. Much ado about nothing. I still think somebody should apologize to the principal. Poor guy. Too bad he apparently felt he had to resign, or was forced too. Christopher Titus's dad would say we're a nation of wussies, and he'd be right. (And no I'm not saying we should be like Titus's dad. And if you have no idea who I'm talking about, your loss.)

I don't think it is appropriate for school. I wouldn't go nuts on the guy, but if I were his employer I'd tell him to stop.

I'm not against birthday spankings but they should be done by friends.

How the times have changed! My principal in elementary school had a huge wooden paddle in his office, and I can assure you, it wasn't for show. Or birthday spankings for that matter.

(I never got paddled, but I knew some that did.)

I once tried to give my older brother his birthday spankings, but my other siblings noticed the ping-pong paddle I was smuggling in my shirt.

Technically, peanuts aren't nuts. Those who are allergic to nuts aren't allergic to peanuts, which are legumes (beans), not nuts.

I seem to recall reading about another birthday ritual in Dear Abby that I consider cruel. It seems that a child had just blown out the candles on his birthday cake, when his father seized him by the back of the head and pushed his face right into the cake. The child pulled his head out of the cake, saw the ruin, and started to cry, and everyone around him was laughing as they sang "Happy Birthday to You."

Someone else wrote in that this was tradition in Mexico and the kids there look forward to it.

I'm all for adopting traditions, but in this country, the practice is pretty much unheard of. I would imagine it would be devastating for a child who doesn't expect this sort of thing, and has never heard of it being done to anyone else.

He can probably only think, "Why is daddy being so cruel?"

Here's the Abby column I mentioned.

And here are the responses. Abby must have been feeling particularly lazy that day, since she repeated her previous column verbatim and ran some other responses.

"Yes. Well argued. If a principle doesn't spank a child, the child will be poorly educated.
You win."

Yeah…because that was my point. Its as I thought TJIC, you ARE to stupid to argue with.

The linked article doesn't say whether any members of the faculty or staff participated in this harmless ritual when it was their birthday. I presume that none did. I wonder why not. Would it be inappropriate for an elementary school teacher to allow her principal to playfully spank her on her birthday for the entertainment of the children and her colleagues? Wouldn't the teachers' participation in this harmless ritual set a good example and promote bonding and a sense of community for the children?

I just had to respond to the mention of peanut allergies. They can be so severe that the child does not have to actually invest the peanut butter to have a life threatening reaction. Merely touching it, then touching a mucous membrane (like rubbing an eye) can do it. Our friend's little boy almost died after picking up a sponge that had been used to wipe down a table. That is why people trample on other children's right to eat peanut butter. Think about all the places messy little hands might spread peanut butter. Should the allergic child wear gloves constantly and live in fear or have a safe environment?

Should hunndereds or thousands of people have their choices dictated to them to save the life of one?

Funny thing is alot of the penut people overlap with the anti vaxx crowd.

Let that sink in, not only does everyone else have to give up any number of food items to protect one childs life, thay also have to risk being exposed to all number of illnesses to protect that one child's parent's ego.

Me, I'm just sick of all the double stanndrds. And if the kid is so allergic the mearly toughing something with penuts in it can cause a near death experince then they need to be kept from being in public alone until such time as they are capable of looking after themselves.

Bubblewraping the world to make them feel normal helps them not one bit

Thank you, loojy. Agree with you 100%.

Jen, for the 5 years that my younger attended elementary school, the ONLY thing she would eat for lunch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She was NOT the only one, by any stretch of the imagination, who only wanted pbnj for lunch. Why should my child (and MANY others) not be able to eat the lunch that she wanted in order to accomodate ONE other child? That makes no sense whatsoever. If that child's allergies are THAT bad, the kid needs more than to be coddled by everyone else. He needs to be homeschooled if they're that bad, until the cause is found and dealt with. And what looj said about the anti-vaccine parents stands, too. Don't want to vaccinate your kids? Don't put them in the general population.

I know a kid who is allergic to his own tears. No lie. I think everyone in his school should be banned from doing anything that might provoke emotions of extreme joy or sadness. Also, onions.