I Wish I Could Patronize This Deli Without Taking A Plane
The headline at Consumerist:
Deli Imposes $3 'Yapping On Phone While Ordering' Surcharge
My very favorite cafe has a no cell phones policy and more and more, I don't want to be at any coffee shop that allows people to yammer into their phones.
The cafe isn't open on Sundays and I used to go to a Starbucks near me with staff I really liked. One day, a guy was -- and I'm not kidding -- SHOUTING into Skype on his iPad, holding up orange juice he was drinking, etc., to show his girlfriend (presumably) in Paris or France (because he was speaking French): "J'ai jus de l'orange...et café...!"
When I said something, both he and some other guy who's frequently shouting into his phone there berated me.
The staff at Starbucks are basically told not to say anything to people, even outrageously rude people like the guy shouting into his iPad, unless they light themselves or another customer on fire.
I used to spend a lot of money at Starbucks. I don't go there anymore.
And I try to patronize businesses like, for example, Groundworks Coffee on Rose where they have a no cell phones sign.







I enjoy your blog but often find myself disagreeing with you. I prefer to go places where I'm free to use my phone if I like. If I had been there I would have just left, or maybe say something to the staff, and then leave. The guy yelling into his iPad was being rude, but so was the person harassing him for it. I doubt he was just yelling for the fun of it, he had a reason which happens to be none of your business.
If I were in a place with no cell policy I would ignore it if I needed to take a call and if the staff of the place had a problem with it I would leave and not come back. I just wanted to point out that there are paying customers on both sides of this issue with strong opinions.
mike at June 28, 2012 9:22 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/06/i-wish-i-could.html#comment-3247039">comment from mikeI doubt he was just yelling for the fun of it,
He was shouting to his girlfriend in Paris about his breakfast. And even if he had a problem - it's southern California, not the northern Yukon.
If it's not appropriate to yell or speak really loudly in a cafe without a device in front of you, why would it be appropriate just because you have one?
This is the HEIGHT of inconsideration.
Furthermore, research shows that a one-sided conversation commanders others' brains in a way a two-sided one doesn't. In short, it's RUDE AS HELL to be on a cell phone in a public place where you are anywhere in earshot of other people.
I had an important call come in when I was at my favorite cafe. It was one that would take a bit of time. I went out to my car and talked there. Why? Not just because there's a rule there, but because it's inconsiderate to stream your personal business into others' brains.
People who want to leave because a cafe says they can't yammer into their electronic binky in its premises -- well, in my experience at my fave cafe, the cafe is always better off for their departure.
Amy Alkon
at June 28, 2012 9:31 AM
I fall somewhere in the middle on this. If the conversation is brief (as in under a minute) and the person is making an effort to keep the volume down, then I don't think it's rude to handle it inside the shop. But too many people completely lose their senses when they have a device in front of them. That's one of the reasons why I'm glad texting is becoming more and more popular.
MonicaP at June 28, 2012 9:42 AM
The guy yelling into his iPad was being rude, but so was the person harassing him for it.
You really believe that? Maybe Amy should have just pulled out her phone, and started TALKING REALLY LOUDLY ABOUT THIS RUDE FRENCHY IN STARBUCkS. You'd have been ok with that, right?
Now, if Amy had wanted to be mean, she might have peered over his shoulder and in French inquired who is this woman you're speaking to? I thought I was the love of your life?
That would have been rude. Google offers up this as the translation:
Qui est cette femme? Je croyais l'amour de votre vissé?
Me? when I get a phone call I need to take, I answer it while getting up and ask the party to hang on for a second as I duck outside. There's no expectation of quiet on the street.
I R A Darth Aggie at June 28, 2012 10:04 AM
Amy, if all coffee shops had a no cell phones rule, my favorite posts here would disappear. Please start patronizing Starbucks again... and not just for the online rants, I need support to rail against the assholes.
David Markland at June 28, 2012 10:54 AM
I need a "like" or "agree" button for David Markland's comment. Mind, I don't go to coffee shops very often, as I don't drink coffee. Still, these same people do it in other places they shouldn't (like the library).
I am somebody who has trouble hearing over background noise. I'm also have noticed that when i have trouble hearing myself, I get louder. I'm often too loud in public places with background noise... that's one of the reasons I don't talk on my phone in public if I can avoid it.
When somebody points out politely, that I'm being rather loud, I tend to say something like "oh! Sorry. Didn't realize how loud I'd gotten."
Mistakes happen. Rude is hammering somebody for it or being obnoxious for somebody politely asking you to fix whatever is bugging them.
Amy, why no picture of this guy for public humiliation?
Shannon M. Howell at June 28, 2012 11:06 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/06/i-wish-i-could.html#comment-3247184">comment from David MarklandAmy, if all coffee shops had a no cell phones rule, my favorite posts here would disappear. Please start patronizing Starbucks again... and not just for the online rants, I need support to rail against the assholes.
Hah, thanks, David. I have a whole chapter on the telephone, including cell phones, in the book I'm completing for St. Martin's, Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck.
And believe me, I have no shortage of assholes on phones I encounter elsewhere. Last night at Salvation Army, for example. Making everyone listen to his boring life.
Yeah, dude, I'm sure you're a Hollywood mogul with a call that's just too important not to take -- while you're looking over the broken thermoses.
Amy Alkon
at June 28, 2012 12:55 PM
Yeah, dude, I'm sure you're a Hollywood mogul with a call that's just too important not to take -- while you're looking over the broken thermoses.
Maybe he was doing research for his planned TV series:
Game of Therms.
JD at June 28, 2012 1:15 PM
"he had a reason which happens to be none of your business."
Your business becomes my business when you are handling it loud enough for me to clearly hear.
momof4 at June 28, 2012 5:01 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/06/i-wish-i-could.html#comment-3247301">comment from momof4Exactly, momof4. Well-said.
Amy Alkon
at June 28, 2012 5:11 PM
I do my best not to take cell calls in enclosed public places. If I do, I will generally head for the front entrance.
Jim P. at June 28, 2012 7:10 PM
My boss had a private number, so it would not display on the caller id when he called. It would come as a private number. And on top of it, his number kept changing every few months and I would never get updated with the new number. I once got a call saying private number on my cellphone when I was at the checkout counter. It was a good thing I attended it though I was at the checkout and handling my credit card and grocery etc etc. It might have been rude, but there was no way I could avoid it. And it was for an issue for which he wanted me to work in the same day within an hour. If I hadn't picked up the call and waited till I got home or tried calling up the last number which I had of my boss and found that it was no longer his, I probably would have got a big firing the next day at the office.
Redrajesh at June 29, 2012 9:32 AM
And on top of it, his number kept changing every few months and I would never get updated with the new number.
Not that I question this, but how did you ever manage to contact your boss when you needed to speak with him? And you mean he would have fired you if you had, say, been on the toilet when he called?
MonicaP at June 29, 2012 10:25 AM
Redrajesh, I dont know what you do for a living r if it really is all that important, but in a situation like that you should request your company pay to issue you a phone that only people in the office have the number to
lujlp at June 29, 2012 8:01 PM
As someone who works at a place that discourages loud phone conversations, this is what struck me the most:
"If I were in a place with no cell policy I would ignore it if I needed to take a call and if the staff of the place had a problem with it I would leave and not come back."
So, wait... you're telling me you would ignore the rule because the rules don't apply to you? Seriously? You're special and even though you knowingly walked into a place that says "No Cell Phones", you'll do what you like? That's RUDE. That's rude to the customers who go there. It's rude to the staff, who now have to get into a confrontation with you. I don't understand why you think rules don't apply to you.
cornerdemon at July 2, 2012 9:44 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/06/i-wish-i-could.html#comment-3250892">comment from cornerdemonAt my favorite cafe, one day, I wasn't there, and some asshole was asked twice (or maybe three times) by one of the staff there to get off the cell (and respect the no cell phones policy). The staff people are kids in their early 20s, for the most part, and it can't be easy for some of them to have to go ask some business dude with high-powered attitude to respect the rules. A typically very quiet screenwriter there witnessed this and got pissed, told the guy off (who kept getting on his cell repeatedly) and basically almost handed the guy his ass. This story is in a chapter in my book, so I don't want to tell it fully but...well, wouldn't be less stressful on all and just plain respectful to either abide by the rules of a place or stay home?
Amy Alkon
at July 2, 2012 9:53 AM
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