Santa Gregg Came Early This Year
Gregg, who had a computer back when people thought they were only for NASA, and who has an entire closet devoted to only wires and cables, has this way of changing my life through the appliances he gets me.

Now, I sometimes joke, "I don't cook; I heat," which is the truth, but I happen to make killer coffee, the fuel of my writing day and one of the joys of my existence. I grind it to near-Turkish in one of the few grinders that will do that, the Capresso 560 Infinity Conical Burr Grinder. I make it in a Chemex glass beaker coffee maker. And I just started drinking it with organic half-and-half, which I nuke so it doesn't make my coffee cold.

Yesterday, Gregg gave me a BonJour Cafe Latte Frother, which comes on a groovy stand, and is really fun to froth milk with. (You only need to do it a tiny bit unless you want foam up the wazoo, whatever the wazoo is.) This morning, I had a really delicious latte. (Am having, as I write this.)

And one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given was the other thing he got me yesterday -- Asshole Canceling Headphones. Specifically, Bose® QuietComfort® 15 Acoustic Noise Cancelling® Headphones.

In addition to the chainsaw or other construction noises that begin and end precisely in the time I have to take my nap on my deadline days, my neighborhood frequently has people who park in it, right outside our houses, or not even that close, and play that annoying low bass on their car stereos -- with their windows open for all to hear.

As I've joked before, I am only hostile, not violent, but this can make me feel homicidal, having this thump-thump-thump attack my existence. One should reasonably be able to presume that the sounds they hear in their house are house sounds -- the dog snoring, the bacon frying, the tea kettle whistling -- and not the house-foundation-shaking stylings of "Fuck Da Ho." These headphones are incredible, and make that a reality.