OMG!

Expect to see such nonsense in cover letters and résumés in the near future. After all, such nitwits don't want to be confined the silly rules of "The Man"! :-(

I have asked Amy for personal advice in the past.

I took the time to write up a nice e-mail and send it.

I have also used her PayPal donate link, even without a question for a while.

Amy -- time to be rude -- tell them to fuck themselves.

How do u spel scam?

I can't even stand text messages abbreviated like that! Assuming that's a real request for advice, she's clearly an idiot. Of course he's nice, friendly, phones, shares interests, etc. He's an escort and wirking to get as much money out of her as possible!!!

"Expect to see such nonsense in cover letters and résumés in the near future"

Future? I have a software business, and I've already long had cover letters written just like this (for highly skilled work too i.e. programming) on job applications.

This letter hints at why perfectly decent available men (like my brother) go single .. women (and men?) can't seem to just not deliberately choose partners with problems.

"i can get him t realy like

me"

To try answer the question, I'd say that by now he most likely either knows if he might be more interested in you, or not, so just tell him you want more, if he feels the same way he'll tell you, and if not, then it's time to part ways with him and look for someone who is available and actually interested in you. You can't "get him to really like you" at this point.

I know guys who did escort work in the past to earn some money but now just have normal jobs and relationships. I don't think the job itself is necessarily a problem if you can live with it.

Just what the hell language is that, anyways?

He gives her discounts (I think). Well, if that ain't true love, I reckon I don't know what is!

But really, doesn't the poor thing have any friends to knock a little sense into her?

I can't even stand text messages abbreviated like that!

Right? Me either! I spell everything out, as do my daughters. Mom hasn't quite got the hang of texting yet, but she's getting there; she's 75 years old, after all! But she pounded into my head why proper grammar is so important when writing anything - letters, resumes, and correspondence. And it's served me well; I've corrected letters written by CEOs who can't spell, ferpetesakes! Yeah, I use colloquialisms and such, but not for formal writings.

"Faye"? Needs to grow up. I think that' the problem with most of the people of her generation - their helicopter parents have given them carte blanche to do whatever they want, without suffering any consequences whatsoever. Creates these beasts with over-inflated senses of entitlement who have no idea what it means to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. And probably couldn't spell either word if their life depended on it!

The timing of this post couldn’t be better…
This morning, my boss is doing several interviews for a few new positions at my place of work. (Sidebar: The company I work for is managing to thrive in this economy and our location is expanding. Having these interviews is a very good thing.) As I was compiling all the resumes for the morning interviews, I saw a cover letter for a candidate that had "lol" on it, "thru" instead of "through", “there” instead of “their” and multiple other misspellings. I order the resumes by time of appointment to make it easier for my boss to find them. This candidate happened to be the first interview of the day so her resume happened to be on top. I gave my boss the pile as soon as she came in and waited. After a few moments, I heard her sigh. Then she said, "Well, this will be a short one." I almost snorted coffee all over my monitor. Poor thing didn’t even stand a chance.

There's no longer any rational reason to abbreviate text messages. It made sense when there were hard character limits and you were writing on a numerical keyboard. Now, with predictive text, no one needs to do that.

I got an email from my sister in law (a 47-year-old woman) that was so bad I had to tell her to call me, because I couldn't understand anything she was saying.

Amy,after years of reading your column and blog, I think I can answer this one for you -

Dear Faye,

No.

Amy

I got an email from my sister in law (a 47-year-old woman) that was so bad I had to tell her to call me, because I couldn't understand anything she was saying.

My mother writes everything... emails, facebook comments, texts... everything like that. What's worse is she doesn't use capitalization or puncuation either. I've started turning it into a drinking game. Luckily, we don't talk that much or I'd be drunk all the time.

A friend often writes on facebook in such texting style. (Via a keyboard.)

Her 16 year old daughter often corrects her or calls her out on it.

There's hope for the kids.

The problem is not your phone, LW. The problem is you're too lazy to actually use the keypad properly. This shit drives me insane.

The phone may explain a little error here or there. I can even forgive an error on a proper keyboard if you're in a hurry, but not entire letters being left off and the lack of puncuation and capitalization. And, you certainly cannot blame the phone for the use of the word "learnt".
No. I'm afraid that's entirely the fault of the letter writer.

I'm dying to see her response to you this time, Amy.

I really cannot stomach anyone who whines that it's a "help yourself world."

There's no longer any rational reason to abbreviate text messages. It made sense when there were hard character limits and you were writing on a numerical keyboard. Now, with predictive text, no one needs to do that. ~ MonicaP

Exactly.

The issue is the woman herself and not that she's typing on a phone.

She's lazy.

She attempts to spell out some words, like "really" - which she misspells.

What's more, her punctuation is completely random. Some sentences end in a period while others don't.

She makes no effort to understand how the message will be received. I get written e-mails and memos like this all the time in which I'm expected to know the complete back story or magically know the whole story.

Writers of messages like this need to take some time and understand the the receiver of the message does not have the same background information they have - meaning there will be blanks which the reader cannot fill in.

"I like a guy who's a male escort. He gives me discounts and we talk all the time. How do I get him to really like me?" - that's not a serious request for advice. That's a request for a love charm (and a therapist).

I really cannot stomach anyone who whines that it's a "help yourself world."

Yes, on top of the initial infraction, you get a petulent, butthurt response to being corrected, based on no right, no rule, just that My feelings are hurt!

It's a help yourself world - as in, help yourself to a liberry card and a dicshumanarie.

It's so much to ask, that I be able to find my own way out of a paper bag. What a cruel world.

"What's more, her punctuation is completely random. Some sentences end in a period while others don't."

Here and there I've spend some time wading through various forms of fanfic and other amateur fiction. You'd be stunned at how many stories I've seen written with absolutely no punctuation at all. They're 1000-word run-on sentences.

"in ths world iv learnt

that its cald help your self planet"

She sounds really bitter about the fact that she actually (OMG) has to help herself on this planet. As if she's been WRONGED by this fact of nature. How could this horrible world not hand her everything she wants and needs on a platter. Sadly in a few years she'll be old enough to vote. Spoiled brat.

The problem is that she types on her phone? I've been typing on phones since (I'm guessing) before this girl was born, since the days that phones looked like bricks and had small black and white screens, and even on the crappy early phones I always typed whole words, correctly spelled, with correct grammar.

You'd be stunned at how many stories I've seen written with absolutely no punctuation at all. They're 1000-word run-on sentences. ~ Cousin Dave

The thing is, I get that. That could be intentional. Stupid, but intentional.

It's stupid because it makes a paragraph very hard to read (even e e cummings limited that little technique to poems).

Lots of English majors and pre-teen girls think adding a flourish or signature like that to your writing will give it "style" and help you "stand out" - and it will, but not in the way you hope.

I took a few creative writing classes in college. In one session, an "artsy" female student read her essay - a stream of consciousness (that would have put James Joyce into a coma) randomly punctuated by quotes from "Pinky and the Brain."

When the professor gave her a poor evaluation on the assignment, she decided he "just didn't get" her and wasn't "open" to new ideas. I'm guessin' he'd seen that new idea a few times already and was a bit tired of it.

Holy shit, are you kidding me? This texting "language" does drive me absolutely insane (especially from my students). I am a grammar nazi even on my (limited) texts that I send out.

It's funny because in my minute scheme to combat this, I refuse to accept typed papers in my classes. Hand-written only. It's amazing when you can view what the English language has devolved into when Microsoft Word isn't there to spell-check their every dangling participle and "there", "their", and "they're".

Sure, it drives my students nuts - even moreso when, on the first day of class, I run a sample of a typed paper through the paper shredder in front of them to show everyone what will happen to theirs, should they refuse to hand-write their papers.

I do this for one reason - THE FUTURE OF WRITTEN COMMUNICATION SHALL NOT BE LEFT TO THE MEDIOCRE!!!!

;-)

I am typing on my ph.thts t prblem.dnt wory abt replyng in ths world iv learnt

that its cald help your self planet.thanks

Call me a cranky old codger (because I know that young people frequently write and text with abbreviations) but I can't stand those abbreviations. I don't think I've so much as written a "u" in my entire life.

I also can't stand it when people write in all lowercase. I have a friend, a very intelligent guy (and 67 years old), who's extremely articulate when he talks but writes like that in his emails.

Grammar and spelling on the Internet: the new religion.

Professional correspondence, no problem, it *is* important.

But for expeditive or non professional e-media (forums), come on! Last time I checked, nobody's keeping score.

Hey gma thx 4 the $ c u at Xmas l8tr

Well on my current phone, because it doesn't have a number line above the letters, I have found it just as easy to use "To" instead of "2" as well as other full words. It's not as automatic as it used to be.

Well, at least you're not a Spelling Roman:

http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=538

"Grammar and spelling on the Internet: the new religion."

Yes, because 'getting things right' is just a religion. No wonder nothing works properly in society any more.

I've noticed that people who think it's not important to 'get things right' with spelling/grammar, 9 times out of 10 they also don't think it's important to do anything else 'right' ... sloppiness is a general attitude that manifests in everything you do.

"Grammar and spelling on the Internet: the new religion."

Yes, because 'getting things right' is just a religion. No wonder nothing works properly in society any more.

I've noticed that people who think it's not important to 'get things right' with spelling/grammar, 9 times out of 10 they also don't think it's important to do anything else 'right' ... sloppiness is a general attitude that manifests in everything you do.

---------------------

How about just leading by example *and keeping it to yourself*?

Expecting people to change by Grammar Naziism is a waste of time (but based on how many practice it, it must give them a holier-than-thou feeling, or maybe they have hopes than preaching will change the others).

The fact is, people will do what they want and in response to their local incentives. For every grammar Nazi, there's an equal and opposite white collar professional whose writing skills are not up to par but who will say "Meh, we have staff paid a fraction of what I am to cover the cosmetic part. I am paid for my skills, results, and how it advances the corporate goals, nobody's handing out gold stars for grammar and spelling in *internal* memos or emails. Time is money, you know..." For these people, there's a difference between talking *a* point (cosmetics) versus talking about *the* point (the bottom line in situation X).

Grammar Nazis can preach all they want, in the end, like manners, what one displays in terms of behavior is a personal choice, and the degree to which people care about their impact on others is too. Like trying to change a substance abuser, one simply can't do it until the person in question is ready for it. When was the last time you successfully shamed someone in constructive, long-term, permanent change?

Logo time!

http://cualquiera.com.ve/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Grammar_nazi_logo.png

So let this be your guide: if you're dealing with someone who doesn't care about such details, you can tell they're not engineering or medical professionals and act accordingly.

That these people vote is my bigger worry. They probably voted for a puppet that didn't write the book with his name on it.

"But for expeditive or non professional e-media (forums), come on! Last time I checked, nobody's keeping score."

Well, not keeping score, exactly -- but if I have to spend ten minutes trying to figure out what it says, I'm not going to bother. I used to have a government customer who had the habit of letting auto-complete finish words for her, and then accepting whatever word the auto-complete came up with, instead of trying to get the word she actually meant. This usually led to a conference in which myself and a few co-workers tried to decipher what she meant. We'd exchange some more emails with her, trying to get clarification, but of course she'd do the same thing with her clarification emails. But that could be an exercise in frustration because if you asked her what she meant by a certain auto-complete-chosen word, a lot of the time she'd let auto-complete choose the same word again. It was a Dadaist psychological test. It took hours to complete a five-minute communication.

Eventually we all just started ignoring everything she sent from her phone. She was pissed at first, but eventually she got it.

Amy, your feedback was generous. I hope she gets the gift, even if it takes a few years to sink in.

One, http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ for some laughs.

Two, when I finally got a smart phone, I had to get one with a slider keyboard. I never texted on old phones for a reason.

Three, translation of phone letter:

"Dear penthouse forum, I never thought it would happen to me...". I say, buy him some flowers and pledge your undying love for him.

"Grammar Nazism"?

Nobody's grading her grammar. We're judging her to be someone with zero English communication skills and a grade-A entitlement complex.

You want to communicate with the adult world? Get to work. The rest of us have to do it. U can 2!!! omg.

How about just leading by example *and keeping it to yourself*?

Expecting people to change by Grammar Naziism is a waste of time (but based on how many practice it, it must give them a holier-than-thou feeling, or maybe they have hopes than preaching will change the others).

The fact is, people will do what they want and in response to their local incentives......

Like trying to change a substance abuser, one simply can't do it until the person in question is ready for it. When was the last time you successfully shamed someone in constructive, long-term, permanent change?

Posted by: Really? at January 5, 2013 5:24 AM
___________________________

I don't think it would be that hard, given the right circumstances. Especially when you're dealing with a kid who's constantly trying to communicate his/her wants and needs to adults but takes twice as long as necessary to do so due to poor speaking and/or writing skills.

After all, while common sense can HELP one decipher a poorly written memo or casual text, it doesn't always work and then the communication could be turned into the opposite of what was meant. Nobody wants that.

Here's a classic example of why punctuation is so important, for one:

"Woman, without her man, is nothing."

"Woman - without her, man is nothing."

And, in the same vein, it is NOT cute or even polite for adults to get preschoolers to leave the message on families' answering machines, because often, people who call can't understand the mumblings of a toddler and aren't sure they reached the right house. (Especially if we're talking about someone who's calling from, say, a doctor's office and who doesn't really know the patient's family.)

Bottom line is: It's not polite to burden others with your sloppiness and to give them the job of figuring out what you mean. There's no point in having everyone speak different, changing "languages" when it only leads to painful misunderstandings. Even best friends can miscommunicate - why aggravate that possibility?

By the way, the same rule holds for different etiquette systems - within small communities, at least, we can't, as individuals, have different ideas of what's polite and what isn't; we'd just end up getting mad at each other for no good reason. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

"I dnt need ur advice he phnd ystrday.thanks "

And we pwned u 2day.

I'm dyslexic and can't spell to save my life, its the small words and homophones I fuck up, the thirteen letter plus words I never seem to have a problem with.

When I have to write a paper I half to use spell check, otherwise there are misspelled words, downside to that is if I use spell check and it substitutes a homophone I don't see it as my bran does not see individual words. So in Ian's class I'd be fucked either way

When I have to write something for a proper setting I have to write it several days in advance, spell check it, read it aloud so my auditory functions can catch what my visual functions miss, re write it and have a third party read and edit it just to be sure.

I ran this thru spell check to clean up the misspellings, and 20 bucks says there are at leased 5 errors.

Funny thing is its been my understanding that my misspelled missives are far easier to understand than the correctly spelled ones with randomly placed homophones

"randomly placed homophones"

I'm tired of these special interest groups! Can't they just use a regular phone like everyone else?!

"About product" Information tie in of information, origin, reason (anniversary, etc) , 1 sentence about product and a 3 word description of flavor.

Really?: "Grammar Nazi" for what, expecting someone to write clear and coherent sentences? For expecting someone to actually spell words? No, you're stretching the term "Grammar Nazi" to include people who want nothing more thanthe basics. A grammar Nazi is obsessed with every coma and detail of spelling and proper placement. A normal person just expects that communication will be as clear as what you're looking at right now.

That "White collar professional" got to where he is because he could communicate clearly.

I promise you he didn't put this on his application:

if u hyr me i wll du gud wrk n myk ur cmpny sum $$$

If you see someone writing as in the above example…and then defending it…they're a self absorbed idiot.

If they do that, and don't defend it, they just have a bad habit.

"For every grammar Nazi, there's an equal and opposite white collar professional whose writing skills are not up to par but who will say "Meh, we have staff paid a fraction of what I am to cover the cosmetic part."

You keep telling yourself this.

I like Big Mac.

People who rite gud aren't necessarily grate a figgerin' things out or gittin shit done.

Oh yeah, you got me on that one, Crid. The two spaces was from the days of the typewriter. It shouldn't be done anymore.

And yes, I know how OCD that is, but I used to work as a typesetter, so what is seen cannot be unseen.

It makes thangs easier to read.

But Amy filters it. ← Like that. I comment here anyway.

Still, you have my sympathies. The internet era must be tough for you guys.