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A compliment is not a gift to be accepted, and I can't believe that any adult feels that way. A compliment is "payment in advance" for an unspecified favor.

"A compliment is "payment in advance" for an unspecified favor."

I get compliments all the time on my....eyebrows. I mean daily.
People whom I've never met before and friends too. They need their own fan club I swear. (Kinda weird feature for people to be obsessed about but whatever).

I don't see how eyebrows would lead to a favor. Especially from strangers.

Anyways loved the quote about learning to accept compliments.

" I do it to make them feel good"

I compliment people all the time too. Sometimes I just say something I love about them not even thinking they'll feel good. I just say it because it's something my brain likes and it pops out of my mouth.

I love my friends big huge lips. I love love love them. She kinda rolls her eyes at me. I tell her if I had lips like that I'd be an attention whore wearing neon yellow lipstick so everyone could see them.

My Euro friend thinks she is fat but when I take her with me to hang out with older Hispanic ladies they think her body is incredible. They take me aside and tell me in Spanish that she looks amazing and where is she from because she doesn't look like the white girls from around here. My friend has a Selma Hayek body, which is fat for her but the big tities tight body and the big ass makes Hispanic women admire her.

Again these women don't expect anything. Many speak English and don't even tell my friend directly. They tell me.

"A compliment is a gift to be accepted."

At least a few times a week female patients where I work compliment me on some aspect of my physical appearance, intelligence or personality. Those compliments are not gifts. Those women want something, usually certain types of drugs, that I'm not willing to provide. And once they realize I'm not going to give them what they want their opinion of me, and their expression of it, changes dramatically.

I'm a physically unattractive man of approximately average intelligence and not much sought after for company. I have no illusions about that; I have a mirror and my left eye is not blind.

When I compliment someone it's sincere and I have no expectation of reciprocity. When someone compliments me for characteristics I know I don't have, then I know that what Patrick said: "A compliment is 'payment in advance' for an unspecified favor", is true at least some of the time. The percentage of compliments received that fit Patrick's definition is probably greater for those of us in the lower quintile for easily noticeable, appealing characteristics.

"A compliment is a gift to be accepted. It is not a bomb needing to defused nor a volleyball needing to be returned."

Well, we should try to accept compliments that way; But, too many times (in this cynical world we live in)a compliment is a bomb or, as Patrick observed above, a compliment is a "payment in advance."

Amy, I would love it if there were more people like you - say what they mean and mean what they say. But, far too often there is a "hidden" agenda behind what they say and do. (yea, I know, I'm cynical!)