Stolen from a friend's Facebook wall.

Roses are red, violets are nice.
When life gives you lemons, add vodka and ice.

And when you've laid a serious egg, make some serious eggnog...

Feline Intervention

A young girl, 12, was being beaten senseless in an effort to force her to accept a marriage proposal, until three lions decided to step up. They scared the girl's attackers away and stood guard until she was rescued.

I'm not the animal expert that Stuart Williams is, but I'd say he's pretty much full of it.

Stuart Williams, a wildlife expert with the rural development ministry, said the girl may have survived because she was crying from the trauma of her attack.

"A young girl whimpering could be mistaken for the mewing sound from a lion cub, which in turn could explain why they didn't eat her," Williams said.

Uh, I think adult male lions can tell the difference between a lion cub and a human girl.

Maybe lions can be cool, sometimes, and put aside their normal inclinations to eat someone for the sake of a young child in distress.

The Religion of Itch:

Report: Syrian Islamist Rebels Issue Fatwa Banning Jihadists From Killing The Lice In Their Beards…

And from the AP:

Churches changing bylaws after gay marriage ruling

Bad link mpetrie98

Crikey. Forgot the http in the link, so it was just appended onto the advice goddess server. I'll try again tomorrow.

Long live the holy muslim lice!

0 for 2700 is a good excuse?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b00_1377453339

Kids bully 3-year old and make her cry