He's on drugs. Don't know what kind, but it's pretty obvious from the flow of his writing.

I've never seen a verbal tic (hmmm) in writing before.

I can't believe I read the whole thing. Your answer seems to apply to his unexpressable issues, though!

It kind of brings to mind J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye," the way it just seems to move from thought to thought without anything in the way of segue.

The difference, of course, as overrated as "Catcher" is, is that at least Salinger's work is comprehensible.

"...with you overrated ego at least in your mind."

As good a specimen as any when it comes to trying to make sense of this drivel. Is this to suggest that ego is overrated? More likely he's suggesting that Amy's ego is "overinflated."

"...at least in your mind." Um, I thought that a person's ego existed in one's own mind. That's the point. It's one's self-perception. Or is he suggesting that Amy's ego is "overinflated" in her own mind?

That's kind of good news. It means that Amy thinks that she thinks too highly of herself, but no one else does. I suppose that's modesty.

And just think! All this incoherence in one phrase, not even a complete sentence. Imagine how much I'd have to write if I tried to make sense of the whole letter.

Yep, drugs. Best translation I can muster:

Why are women are POF and Match not responding to me? I write them all the time and haven't gotten good results, so I figured I'd ask an expert. I have a good job, and I just want a mutually validating relationship.

Here is a bunch of horrifying background information about me and my situation, like the fact that I apparently "separated" my family because I decided that in adopting four children I had bitten off more than I could chew, and now said children are emotionally messed up and unable to stand on their own. They flounder in the American Dream, which I am above, because drugs have opened my miiiiiiiinnnnnnnddd, man.

Also, testosterone. I am super manly.

--------

You did answer the part that he said was his point. He's not getting good results on the dating websites for the same reason you stated in your response, because he has no idea how to communicate with strangers over the internet. And probably also the whole horrible backstory about leaving his wife and children. But mostly, sadly, the communication thing.

Well, the LW is from Colorado. Probably those new marijuana laws.

Im guessing he is not a native english speaker

If I saw something like that in my inbox, I'd be saying "what the fuck?" too.

Somewhat off topic; but, oh my god:

"3. Don't be such an asshole."

That's such great advice for half of mankind. The other half of mankind should take the advice: "don't put up with assholes"

"Im guessing he is not a native english speaker..."

I think he is, because his (so-called) writing is so ideomatic. But if he's not, then he must be a lousy writer in his native language too. He comes across to me as someone who thinks he's so important that he shouldn't be bothered to write clearly; it's the job of the plebes to decipher it.

I couldn't even read the whole thing, it was giving me a headache.

Drugs, or mentally ill.

Mareseatoatanddoeseatoatsandlittllambseativy much?

WTF?!?!

I used to see stuff like this stapled on telephone poles. Now I know where that guy went.

As soon as I saw "4 kids later," I thought, "Aha! He could have shortened this and eliminated the need for a lot of nonexistent paragraph breaks if he had just said, 'I've screwed up my life and those of of others. What do I do now?'"

Pirate Jo for the win! Amy, surely there is a way to use this type of thing to your advantage. Maybe your next book should a compilation of all of the weirdest emails you have received. Some of this stuff is laugh out loud funny.

I don't know how to categorize this guy's writing style. I think he's trying for stream of consciousness, but even James Joyce would cringe at reading this rambling and incoherent word vomit. "It isn't writing at all - it's typing"

Miss Alkon, Sheep Mommy and Conan have a great idea. An occaisonal "Too Weird for James Joyce/Too Convoluted for Faulkner" post might be a lot of fun to read!

Drugs: It does a mind over to well-done. ;-)

The guy is not anybody I'd ever really want to know other than to point at and telling the stormtroopers "That is the noid you are looking for."

wtf: "Drugs, or mentally ill."

Could be either one, but I'm leaning toward mental illness. I hear people talk like that every day at work. To get an idea what they sound like read that without pause at a rapid rate, with pressure, exaggerated intonation and widely varying emotion; throw in occasional laughter, sobbing or irritability.

I feel so sorry for them. I would rather have lung cancer than have schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

Maybe the sender of the email is just an arrogant, presumptuous asshole who doesn't think your time is worth the trouble it takes to write coherently. But that content is pretty disorganized, and if speech reflects thinking I'm guessing the writer has a serious mental illness and that's the best he could do.

So I saw your style of writing and like it. I can't say I'd typically write in this nature but what the fuck . . . blah, blah, blah, messed up stuff . . . Never was racist or chauvinist but still trying to figure out does all this rat race make sense. Again just surviving barely but did like your direct writing style.

Here's what my reply would have been:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvGJvzwKqg0