Bravo. This woman is a train wreck. The question I posted on your column is as good as answered.

I note that, conveniently, she never mentions anal.

Why am I suddenly seeing a scene from "The Stand" with this person ???

I love that "The Stand" connection.

Otherwise, this is a very sad article.

"I saved my Halloween and Easter candy for over a year."

My little sister did that. Bugs got in it. That probably won't happen to your Holy of Holies, but you might want to use a Dustbuster from time to time.

A friend of mine was recently seeing a married woman. He was feeling conflicted about cheating, and told me she wanted to sleep with him but he'd said no. Made quite a thing about how restrained he was being.

In the next breath, he mentioned she'd gone down on him several times. I pointed out that the infidelity line had been crossed already.

But apparently lack of vagina meant it didn't count. *Headdesk*

Seems like her problem is with hoarding...and she's been hoarding her vagina as well. Maybe they should get this woman on TV.

I agree, she is a head case, and probably a hoarder. But on the bright side, it has given her something to write about.

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.
by Robert Herrick

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.
----------------

That was my first thought when reading this article.

I'll put it more plainly:

The woman is a manipulative, obnoxious, self worshipping little bitch.

She left feeling empowered because she turned a guy on and left his room?

You know how misogynists get created? Meet their source.

If a woman's only power is that she says no to sex, she's powerless, a fact someone that goddamn stupid will learn, when she goes to the room of the wrong guy, turns him on, then finds out he won't let her leave.

I will never let my daughters grow up to be this fucking stupid.

The fact that the Times is writing an article about it is even more strange. There are many with bigger problems.

I'm left wondering if this is just about her actual virginity, or if she would always insist upon the perfect connection/time/place/man/etc. every time. Say she finally gets laid--does she
then go wild, now that the horse is out of
the barn, or does the fetishes extend past the first time to sex in general? Is she really just this worked up over the actual loss, or is the delay an avoidance tactic that speaks to a larger issue?

Sounds like Amanda McCracken needs Amanda Phil McCracken.

"Mistakes where made but not by me"

She is trying to justifying her "past expiration date" box. At 35 nobody wants that shit, people want someone that knows what the fuck they want.

My first time was with someone I was in love with and it SUCKED.

Also flying to Paris to meet a soldier she is in love with and only knows through letters is a bit Rom Com right?

I'm pretty sure my husband would be just as angry if I'd blown some other guy as he would if I'd fucked some other guy.

Bragging about being a virgin when you're in your mid-thirties is weird. I just can't imagine being so deluded as to think my 35 year old hymen was some kind of prize. Bleh.

But apparently lack of vagina meant it didn't count. *Headdesk*

According to Bill Clinton, that's true.

Thank God somebody else finally said that "everything but penetration" does not make you a virgin any longer. I have a friend who is convinced that her daughter is still a virgin, even though the girl has been practically glued to the boyfriend's side since they met AND they share an apartment at college now. Ummm, if you think they haven't done everything but actual sex you are crazy. Back in the old days, unmarried women couldn't work as nurses because just the sight of a naked, or mostly naked man was considered too much for a virgin's eyes to handle. I agree that there are deeper issues here. Something akin to anorexia maybe? It is definitely a control issue.

Even if I didn't know she was a virgin, or if I did I don't think I'd be interested in her just because of how her mind works.

I had a few friends in high school who were bound and determined to "save themselves" for marriage, and who considered themselves morally superior because of that - but 1)many of them did everything but PIV sex with their boyfriends, and 2) boy, were they hot to get married! Some of them got married within days of high school graduation. I lost touch with most of them, so I'm not sure how long those marriages lasted, but I would bet not for long.

I think I've got this lady's number. She WANTS to be forced into sex -- raped, basically. I had a gf like that once and I walked away even though she was very desirable indeed. Very few men are at all interested in rape, it's far too much trouble.

This is " Berneice Bobs her Hair" for 2013. When Amanda finally stops being a virgin, she won't have anything else to talk about. Sad, really. Why does anyone need to know this? And all that running?

I smell someting...

a troll.

This is far too perfect, the snark says that this person imagines that this is what a virgin would be like.

Either way, headcase is strong in this one. Maybe she is, and maybe she aint, but this is how nature says 'stay far away'

Hmmm, if men were as rapey as the feminists say...she should would have been raped several times already.

Since most men aren't rapey...

When I was a girl, I was convinced I was going to save sex for my husband, and was going to stay a good little virginal catholic girl till marriage.

That lasted till I was 15.

Sounds like this girl is afraid of sex, but more importantly, afraid she'll like it. The whole dominatrix thing tells me she's deathly afraid of losing control.

I suspect that she's scared as well. She comes off like a little girl. I can't believe that her friends are encouraging her, unless its that they know something we don't.

Who cares. If she wants to be a virgin, let her be a virgin. Who cares why, who cares what else she does. Why did she write this article?

"At 35, I still want to save sex for someone who is mutually in love with me and who accepts my virginity as a gift."

OK, so that line doesn't say anything about marriage. However, my philosophy is: There's plenty to be said for saving sex for marriage. BUT...if you're still thinking of sex or virginity as a "gift," you are NOT mature enough to get married! Sex is supposed to be about what YOU want, not only about what your future S.O. wants. Anyone who talks the way she did isn't someone who really wants to have sex. (And yes, she was being horribly rude to those men she was teasing.)

This and that:

Katha Pollitt's 2006 collection of essays is: "Virginity or Death!: And Other Social and Political Issues of Our Time."

(The 2005 essay with that name is here):

http://www.thenation.com/article/virginity-or-death#

It's about the HPV vaccine and the Christian right. As she says at the start: "Is the threat of cervical cancer at age 60 really keeping teenage girls virgins?"

And one reader responded (at the bottom link within) in a Web Letter:

"....Women aren't just getting cervical cancer at 60 (as the article stated), they are getting cervical cancer from the HPV virus as young as 19 and 21 years of age. My best friend/roommate was diagnosed with cervical cancer linked to the HPV virus last year at the age of 19. Another member in my sorority was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 21. Many more people have had problems due to HPV virus complications, that is why I strongly urge that women everywhere get this vaccine. I personally have never been sexually active and have one more round of the Gardacil vaccine that will be finished in August....."

And, as lawyer Wendy Kaminer wrote in her sarcastically titled (but very good) 1990s essay "True Love Waits," the trouble with abstinence courses is that the unspoken message is: Abstain until marriage or death, whichever comes first. Who would take that seriously? (She also quoted a friend who said "I would have been a much unhappier person had I grown up with the taboos of the 1950s...........I would have married the first man I slept with and been miserable.")

And, as I wrote elsewhere:

The trouble with both sex and abstinence is that either one can make you delusional (especially as a teen). That is, either one can make you think you're in love when you're not. Which is why you can't use the agony of abstinence as an excuse to get married at, say, 18 or even 20.

Don't expect either one to make you happy any time soon. Your S.O. may or may not break up with you if you have sex, but abstinence does not guarantee that you will find a suitable marriage partner before age 30. If then.

And, chances are even a fundamentalist widower in his 40s is not eager to marry a 30-year-old virgin, for obvious reasons.

And, chances are even a fundamentalist widower in his 40s is not eager to marry a 30-year-old virgin, for obvious reasons.

Nope, he's eager to marry a 20-year-old virgin, for obvious reasons.

Seriously, I read an article not too long ago that mentioned that Christian teens "sworn to abstinence" were using anal sex as a substitute (unsatisfyingly for the gals, I'd imagine) for vaginal intercourse since they had promised to remain pure. Who are they kidding? Certainly not the omnipotent, omniscient God they're allegedly serving. Are modern evangelical churches that unclear in their teaching, or are those kids that hypocritical or good at rationalization?

If you really believe that you should remain chaste until marriage, then do so, but actually do so.

And, chances are even a fundamentalist widower in his 40s is not eager to marry a 30-year-old virgin, for obvious reasons.
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Nope, he's eager to marry a 20-year-old virgin, for obvious reasons.
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I'm well aware of that. However, most women want men close to their own age - and, thankfully, most American 20-year-olds women will be backed up by their American parents when they refuse proposals from men the age of their parents. (Certain Mormon and other small communities excluded.) My point is just that virginity loses its appeal after a while; even those over 25 who manage to keep it a secret are often suspected of being virgins anyway, so your popularity can depend a lot on how well you manage to keep others from guessing your status. Not to mention that plenty of men in their 40s DO find 30-year-old women desirable.
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Seriously, I read an article not too long ago that mentioned that Christian teens "sworn to abstinence" were using
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I've heard that a lot. I can't understand why teens in highly religious communities don't seem any more ashamed of fooling around than those from secular communities. More importantly, why waste millions of dollars on abstinence-only school courses? If PARENTS can't convince their kids to abstain, why would teachers be able to?

To spell it out a bit better: It's likely that even a fundamentalist would rather marry a divorcee (gasp!) than a 30-year-old virgin. (Unless maybe the divorce was for "frivolous" reasons?)