13 Things That Are Only True In Porn
Casey Gueren posts on this at StyleCaster. Here are a couple good points that quote Dr. Brandy Engler, a guest from this summer on my radio show:
5. Missionary is out. Whips and chains are in. We're all for experimenting in bed, but that doesn't mean you need to try something new every single night. Porn tends to hint that 'vanilla sex' is bad and that you need to be wild and crazy all the time, says sex therapist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men on My Couch. The bottom line: Do what feels good.7. Your reactions are always Oscar-worthy in bed.
When something feels good, definitely let your partner know. But that doesn't mean moaning so loud your neighbors hear it. Women tend to see things in porn they think they need to mimic, "like false or over-exaggerated enthusiasm instead of just your natural response," says Engler. Don't go overboard--your partner will see right through it.
Engler's book, co-authored with David Rensin, is The Men on My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy
I read a blurb somewhere that captured it: Porn films are the stunt films for sex.
a_random_guy at December 15, 2013 11:14 PM
I'm not fond of talking dirty. I do it, because every guy on earth is really into it including my husband, but I wish I could just lie back and let what comes naturally (moans and whatnot) happen, instead of having to think about what to say next. I don't want to be thinking, I want to be doing. I don't want to be in my head.
It usually goes like this,
"Oh I want your big dick inside me!" (Crap! I already said that. Um, um... shit! What should I say?! OMG. Um...) "Your cock feels so good!" (He didn't respond, shit, um...) "I want to feel you cum all over me!" (He reacted! Awesome! OK!) "Cum! Cum! Cum!" (I'll just keep saying that till I think of something else)
It's fine, I'll do it, but I'd rather just moan and writhe which is what my body automatically wants to do.
Leslie at December 16, 2013 2:08 AM
Leslie my friend told me this funny story--how he kept asking his girlfriend questions during sex so she would answer them in dirty talk.
Eventually she just covered his mouth, told him to shut up, and continued to have sex.
He explained to me why guys can be annoying with dirty talk since they talk too much.
Ppen at December 16, 2013 2:56 AM
Somebody posted this:
"number 9 is wrong porn chicks have period sex all the time...they use make up sponges...juast an fyi"
Looked it up looks like it is true.
Ppen at December 16, 2013 3:01 AM
I loved that interview you did with the author. Based on that I just bought the book on cd for one of my best friends, who has started dating again after about 15 years off the market.
Michelle at December 16, 2013 5:20 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/12/13-things-that.html#comment-4121907">comment from MichelleThank you so much, Michelle.
Amy Alkon
at December 16, 2013 5:56 AM
I always figured that if my partner could talk in sentences I needed to pay more attention to what worked. Afterwards, I hoped simple phrases (WOW! YEAH BABY!) would be forthcoming. Actual sentences at any point meant a repeat would not be likely.
Bob in Texas at December 16, 2013 8:49 AM
Can't wait to listen to this (at work at the moment and while it may be educational for my boss probably not the most appropriate topic haha) I also will probably pick up this book! I AM stocking up on interesting titles for my time at home after this baby finally makes his appearance! Thanks Amy!
Lrj at December 16, 2013 9:33 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/12/13-things-that.html#comment-4122843">comment from LrjThanks so much, Lrj!
Amy Alkon
at December 16, 2013 11:33 AM
"I always figured that if my partner could talk in sentences I needed to pay more attention to what worked."
Brilliant. :)
Michelle at December 16, 2013 12:06 PM
"Leslie my friend told me this funny story--how he kept asking his girlfriend questions during sex so she would answer them in dirty talk.
Eventually she just covered his mouth, told him to shut up, and continued to have sex.
He explained to me why guys can be annoying with dirty talk since they talk too much."
The flipside of course are the many women who lay there giving their best comedic stylings of a dead fish.
jerry at December 16, 2013 2:00 PM
...though now that I think of it, "Yes!" is a complete sentence.
Michelle at December 16, 2013 4:24 PM
Well there was one time after my lady arrived for the third time she did get the question out "Is this legal?"
It was a really fun night. :-D
Jim P. at December 16, 2013 5:13 PM
Now I am homesick, but not due to arrive home for days. Thank you Jim.
Michelle at December 16, 2013 6:53 PM
Anything I can do to help. :-p Well at least you can anticipate the future.
Jim P. at December 16, 2013 7:10 PM
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